While I'm sure you're all dying to know all about the reasons that kept me from writing those last couple of months, I think I'll leave you without an explanation and with the plea to go easy on me instead. I feel like my writing is still a bit rusty and I need to ease myself back in slowly. Hope you enjoy it!
Big thanks to Jenn for editing herself through my terrible spelling and grammar! x
Even after her last tears had subsided Quinn kept her head where it rested against Rachel's shoulder. She waited for some kind of awkwardness or embarrassment to take over her, but the feeling never came. Instead she found herself enjoying the physical closeness and the feeling of being taken care of by someone. For once her brain just shut up and her mind was nicely blank. No bad feelings about what had happened with her mother and how horrible it had made her feel. No worries about her future. Her only thought was Rachel's hand that kept running up and down her back. It had a soothing effect that she would have never expected, but then she became aware of a cold wet feeling against her cheek where she was resting against Rachel's shoulder. Her fingers felt around for what could have caused this when she realized that her tears had completely soaked Rachel's shirt.
Despite that she didn't pull back but only mumbled an apologetic. "Sorry, I ruined your shirt."
She felt the vibrating of Rachel's chuckle. "It's just a shirt." Her hand rested from running up and down for a moment only to continue with slow circles.
"I still didn't mean to cover you in tears and snot."
"Don't worry about it." Non-verbally telling her that she shouldn't dare to move away, Rachel's hand slipped higher and started running through Quinn's hair, effectively keeping her head in place.
In the security of Rachel's embrace and the knowledge that she wouldn't go anywhere, Quinn closed her eyes, allowing herself to rest. After getting everything off her chest, there weren't so many things bothering her anymore. And allowing herself to break down and cry had made her feel incredibly light. Not that she still wasn't dreading her situation or mourning everything she had lost, but Rachel had managed to tell her just what she needed to hear. A big part of Quinn was still having trouble believing the words, that had been the purpose, to reassure her in her insecurities, but that didn't mean it didn't feel good to hear them.
Rachel was the first one to draw back slightly, as she tilted her head and looked in Quinn's face. She untangled one hand from Quinn's hair and brushed away a few remaining not quite dried tear streaks. "Only you manage to look gorgeous right after crying."
The words triggered a flattered smile from Quinn as she dropped her eyes for a moment. "You don't have to lie to me."
Rachel huffed, as she sorted Quinn's kind of tousled hair. "I'm serious. You should see me after crying. My eyes swell shut almost immediately. I look like I suffered from an allergic shock."
Quinn giggled a little.
"You on the other hand," Rachel paused to breathe in deeply and let her eyes scan over Quinn's face. "Well in a tragical way you are more beautiful than ever."
Quinn could stand the intensity of Rachel's gaze and what she had just said for only so long. Her own eyes landed on the mess she had made out of Rachel's shirt and her long dark hair. She brushed Rachel's hair over the shoulder she had been leaning against. She bit her lip wondering how to approach what was still bothering her.
"Did you mean what you said?" Quinn asked tentatively as if she was afraid of the answer. "I mean about... that it will be possible..." Quinn sighed. "Do you actually think someone will be able to love me like this? And I don't mean like a mother," Quinn swallowed slightly at the words, "or like a good friend, but really love me. In a finding me attractive, loving me in a romantic kind of way?"
Quinn felt sort of pathetic to need that kind of reassurance, but she still found herself looking at Rachel fearful, afraid of what the answer was going to be. She felt so insecure she couldn't even look Rachel in the eye as the words left her lips.
"I'm absolutely certain of it," Rachel assured softly, tenderly lifting Quinn's head up with two fingers at her chin.
Quinn captured her lower lip a little tighter between her front teeth. "I just can't see how anybody could ever look twice at the girl in a wheelchair. Let alone feel passion for me."
Part of Quinn felt thrown back to her thirteen-year-old ugly duckling self. The way she felt back then, came pretty close to her current insecurities. The reasons where entirely different, but it added up to the same low self esteem that had always lingered under the surface.
When Quinn finally dared to look Rachel in the eye again she found herself almost taken aback by the intense look in the deep brown orbs.
"You are the most beautiful person I know, Quinn." Rachel's voice was so earnest it almost brought tears to Quinn's eyes. "And I'm not only talking about the obvious features like your gorgeous face or mesmerizing eyes... you are such a strong person. After everything you've been through, no matter how unfair and terrible it is you still hold your head high and fight... Anyone who can't see what a truly amazing person you are and will reduce you to a disability isn't worth your time."
Quinn felt heat rush her face, not only caused by the more than flattering words from Rachel but also at the piercing, eager way the brunette looked at her. Hearing the sincere way Rachel had just told her how beautiful and love worthy she was stirred something in her she couldn't name. It became only a little clearer when her eyes slipped down to Rachel's lips before she could do anything about it. She quickly forced herself to find her eyes again.
The realization that dawned on her, causing Quinn's heart to speed up a little bit. She didn't care about what anybody thought about her when Rachel thought she was beautiful. Tingles ran through her body when Rachel brushed another strand of hair behind her ear and she smiled at her.
"How do you always know to say just the perfect thing?" Quinn breathed, her own hand reaching up to cover Rachel's to stop it from pulling back at the nape of her neck.
"You make it easy," Rachel answered genuinely, a shy quality sneaking onto her face.
Never looking away, Quinn's free hand reached out and cupped Rachel's cheek, her thumb caressing a defined cheekbone. Her gaze was now firmly planted on Rachel's as if she was just about to say something, slightly parted lips.
"Quinn..." Rachel's tone was soft, but not in a way that told her to stop what she was about to do. "Quinn?"
Hazel eyes blinked open in confusion and Quinn found herself disoriented for a second. The smell of Rachel's citrus shampoo was prominent and she could feel soft fingers running through her hair. It was the wet feeling against her cheek that brought realization onto her.
It didn't take her long to realize that she was still in Rachel's embrace and had apparently fallen asleep against her shoulder. That everything had just been a dream.
"You are a pretty heavy sleeper," Rachel said, an amused tone in her voice. "You were even snoring a little bit."
Quinn pulled back reluctantly, immediately feeling the urge to wrap her arms around herself at the lack of Rachel's body warmth. She was sure her cheeks were flushed bright pink.
Rachel looked at her with worry as Quinn let her head sink back into the pillow. "Are you feeling a little better?"
Quinn nodded in silence, her brain all over the place. That was one of the most vivid dreams she had ever had, but what startled her most was the feeling of dread that it had ended just a few seconds too soon. Her heart was still racing and Rachel's soft fingers on her cheek that brushed away a few remaining tears didn't do anything to slow it down. It was too close to what her subconscious had just manufactured. But other than in her dream the caress stopped and Rachel reached over to the nightstand and handed her a tissue.
"You may want to wipe your nose," Rachel told her with a tender tone. "I'll go and re-heat your dinner in the mean time."
What the hell? Was the most coherent thought Quinn could manage as she leaned back in her pillow and watched Rachel leave the room, Tupperware in hand.
Santana didn't even bother to suppress the urge to roll her eyes when she heard a familiar insistent voice coming up behind her during lunch. Rachel Berry sat down opposite of her only seconds later and slammed her tray down on the table. Only a few seconds later her oaf of fiancée came from the other side, slamming down the tray almost just as hard.
Santana kept on flipping through the latest Cosmo issue, not bothering to look up. She frowned over an article with the title How to give him the orgasm of his life. Damn she was glad to be a lesbian.
"You're still avoiding answering me," Finn told Rachel sulking.
"Can we not have this discussion here, in front of everyone?" Rachel hissed, gesturing to the table that at this early point during lunch break was still half empty. Next to Santana and the obviously not happy couple there were only Mercedes, Kurt and Sugar picking on the disgusting cafeteria food at the other end of the table.
"This is the only time you actually seem to have time to talk to me," Finn went on, ignoring Rachel's request for more privacy. "I get it that you have obligations, or at least you think you do..."
"It's complicated, Finn," Rachel sighed.
"I'm just asking you to help me understand," Finn shrugged and took a bite of his burger. Santana screwed her face up in disgust when he started talking with his mouth full. "No vague answers and all that crap."
"I told you all I can tell you," Rachel said firmly, stabbing a lettuce leaf forcefully. "Now please drop it."
"We're engaged Rachel," Finn said accusingly. "Don't you trust me at all?"
Rachel put her fork down on the tray calmly but her face showed how frustrated she was with this conversation. "I don't want to have this conversation in front of everyone, Finn. Please respect that!"
"I just don't see why-"
Santana groaned, completely annoyed. "Can you just let it fucking go? She's agreed to spend the rest of your miserable existence with you. Let her have one secret of her own! Or go fight somewhere else where your whining isn't giving me a migraine."
Finn ignored Santana's comment and set his attention right back to Rachel. "I don't think I'm asking much here Rachel. I only see you before school and during lunch. I feel like I don't even have a girlfriend anymore."
"Finn, please," Rachel's tone was warning.
"Please what?" Finn was fed up. "I've been keeping my mouth shut for the past week! I've tried to be the best boyfriend for you, but it's like you don't even care!"
"Of course I care!" Rachel argued.
"Then why are you still spending all of your free time at Quinn's bedside and can't even find time to watch a movie with me?"
A panicked expression passed Rachel's face as she carefully looked around the table to see if anybody had picked up on what Finn had just said. When everybody seemed preoccupied with their food or phones Rachel slapped Finn's upper arm as hard as she could.
"You have to be careful with what you say!" she hissed at him.
Finn rolled his eyes and rubbed his upper arm looking more than annoyed. "Don't you think that it's time that people other than you get to visit her. It's been three weeks Rachel, this 'nobody can know' charade is getting ridiculous. People will find out eventually."
At that statement Santana, who had been listening to the fight happening next to her quietly for the last couple of minutes shut her magazine and glared at Finn. "Maybe, but that doesn't mean it's your place to share it with them."
Santana knew that her anger towards Finn was about more than just him potentially letting everyone know about Quinn's condition. The smug attitude in which Finn seemed to think that deciding what was best for everyone gave Santana a flashback that had her guts twist uncomfortably.
Finn just huffed. "Of course you are in on this," he sighed before continuing. "All I'm saying is that how things are now can't possibly be good for Qui-" Rachel shushed him as he was about to speak Quinn's name, "..her. She can't keep the rest of her life hiding in that hospital room with Rachel holding her hand."
"Don't make judgements about a situation you know nothing about," Rachel told him while wiping her fingers on her napkin fiercely. "She is really vulnerable right now. You have no idea what an exposure like this could do to her."
Now it was Finn's turn to huff and roll his eyes. "Would you stop talking about her like she's the most breakable person in the world? It's Q- her. She didn't really seem all that vulnerable when she yelled at me the other day."
A dark look unlike anything Santana had ever seen on her crossed Rachel's face. "You have no idea what you are talking about," her voice taking on a dangerous warning tone.
Santana chimed into the conversation before Finn had a chance to say something that would cause Rachel to claw his eyes out altogether. "Hold on a second." Her eyes were darting back and forward between the couple. Her eyes finally landed on Finn. "When exactly were you there?"
Finn shrugged unable to do anything at Santana's sharp tone but answer truthfully. "I wasn't there for long, I was just looking for Rachel. And she seemed okay. A little banged up, but she seemed fine in general. Bitchy as ever."
"God you're such a moron," Santana bit out, her hands clenched and unclenched on the table, as she had to stop herself from lunging at Finn right away. With tightly clenched hands she turned to Rachel next. "And you," she snarled her eyes narrowing. "Weren't you just holding a long speech about how important it is to respect Quinn's wishes and then you let him of all people waltz in there?"
Rachel had a hand on her hip, unwilling to take the blame for this accusation. "It wasn't really in my hands Santana."
Santana simply shook her head. "This is unbelievable."
"Santana you just told Finn that he should stay out of other people's business and now I'm telling you the same. What happened was unfortunate but it's also an issue between Finn and myself."
"It becomes my business when my best friend is involved," Santana snapped across the table.
"Your best friend whom you haven't had the guts to visit in over three weeks." Making the decision for herself that anything else she could possibly say would just end unfortunate, Rachel reached for the tray with half eaten food in front of her and stood up. "I'm done having this conversation with you, Santana." Her eyes dropped to Finn. "With both of you."
Quinn tentatively lifted up the first hand that was supporting her on the bed, then the other one followed. She managed to sit for a couple of seconds before she fell back onto her hands. This was the next step after she more or less had the sitting up on her own part down. Now she had to learn how to keep her balance so that she could sit up without leaning against anything.
"That wasn't bad," Julia nodded approvingly. "You just really need to find your center of gravity to balance yourself out properly."
"You make it sound like I'm learning to ride a bike," Quinn bit out, cautiously lifting her left hand up again.
Julia's hands moved to support her shoulders as she removed the right hand from the mattress as well. "It is not that much of a difference. Except you don't get training wheels here."
Even with the PT's hands on her shoulders holding her, Quinn didn't last longer then a few seconds before she had to brace herself on her hands again. "This is so frustrating!" Quinn exclaimed.
"No, you are just really impatient," Julia told her, her hands on Quinn's waist for better leverage as she started another try. "You are making good progress Quinn. Much better than expected considering the extent of your injuries. Don't be so hard on yourself."
Two, three seconds passed and Quinn braced her hand on the mattress again, not answering anything.
"You are also not concentrating," Julia remarked after studying Quinn's face for a moment. "Your mind is somewhere else entirely.""There's a lot going on right now," Quinn replied, while restlessly continuing with her exercise. If only Julia knew. Her mind wasn't just somewhere else it was barely functioning except running over one topic over and over again.
"Is this about what happened yesterday? With your mom?" Julia asked carefully.
Quinn shook her head. While what had happened with her mother clearly hadn't failed to leave an impact on her it wasn't the main thing that was bothering her or what had kept her up for most of the night.
"I meant what I said yesterday," the PT said, her hands firmly supporting Quinn's midsection as she made it over the five-second mark. "If you need somebody to talk to, I can listen."
Quinn contemplated briefly on whether she should take Julia up on her offer, but she dismissed it as quickly as the thought had come to her mind. What would she have told her anyway? "I had a dream about almost kissing the girl who is my only real friend right now." Yeah, that wouldn't go over so well.
Quinn wasn't even sure why this was bothering her so much. She had never been one to believe that dreams where the way your subconscious tried to express something. If anything it was only a messy way of coping with things that bothered you. To process things you experienced.
Thinkin about it like that, her dreaming about almost kissing Rachel made sense. She was insecure about her body right now more than ever before and Rachel was the one person who managed to make her feel a little good about herself. It was more a projection of how Rachel's positive attitude was good for her right now more than anything else.
Despite that logical explanation Quinn had still been awake all night, pondering over it.
"And you zoned out again," Julia sighed, causing Quinn to look up in surprise as she was brought from her thoughts. "Quinn, I wouldn't be doing this exercise with you if I wasn't sure you're capable of it, but you have to keep on task."
Quinn shrugged a little defeated. "Sorry, there's just a lot on my mind right now."
Julia looked thoughtful for a moment before she nodded understandingly. Something that Quinn appreciated about the therapist was that she lacked any form of pity in her way of dealing with her. It was refreshing. There weren't many people who managed this. Rachel for example, as great as she was, always had a look on her face that seemed to scream 'I'm so sorry this happened to you'. While Julia's attitude was more like 'Shit happens, now go on and deal with it!'"
"We'll try something else," Julia announced.
She watched the therapist pull a foam material cube out of one of the upper cabinets in the room. She placed the cube at the level of Quinn's lower back, explaining the meaning of it. "You're an L2, so the sensation and balance ends beneath your first lumbar vertebrae." Her fingers found Quinn's back tracing over the spot on her spine where the sensation ended. "The cube has the right height to reach the level of your third vertebrae, it gives you support but not completely. This way you get to train your balance step by step."
It wasn't remarkably easier, but Quinn found that with the foam material supporting her, it was a bit easier to raise her hands from the mattress and keep her balance. Julia meanwhile had hopped onto the table so she was right across form Quinn facing her.
"Your goal for today is sitting up for three minutes. I don't want to strain your circulation too much."
Professional eyes watched Quinn closely as her hands left the mattress repeatedly, each time a little longer than the one before. It took a while but in the end Quinn reached the three-minute mark, a thin layer of sweat on her forehead. That was when Julia got off the table and approached her patient again.
"That was good," she praised as she carefully removed the cube and helped Quinn lean back against the headrest. "But we really have to work on your circulation Quinn. You feel clammy. Thirty seconds longer and you might have collapsed."
Quinn couldn't deny that she felt slightly dizzy, something that only slowly got better as Julia lowered the headrest and forced two glasses of water down her throat. "You set the three minute limit," she said accusingly.
"Which you managed," Julia returned. "I'm just saying we have to work on your circulation being more stable. We'll do this a couple of times more today. A little longer each time."
There was a knock on the door and Dr. Shahin, the orthopedic surgeon, entered without waiting for an answer file in hand. "How are you today Quinn?"
"Being tortured by my physical therapist," Quinn told him.
"I had her working her balance and sitting on her own this morning," Julia explained giving Quinn a scolding look. "She made it past the three minute mark."
The doctor nodded approvingly opening the file in his hand. "That's good news. And I have even better news for you. We'll remove the hip drain today and if your vitals remain stable through the rest of the day of your circulation training we will be able to transfer you to our rehabilitation unit first thing tomorrow."
The smile that appeared on Julia's face told Quinn that she probably should be excited about this, but she didn't really see the potential greatness of it. So she would be staring at a different white ceiling. Big deal.
"Great... I guess," she answered hesitantly.
Julia was obviously reading her her thoughts as she quickly chimed in. "This is really great news Quinn. We'll be able to do so many more exercises once you're in rehabilitation."
"Julia is right," the doctor added. "The fact that you were here in ICU for the last couple of weeks limited the possibilities in PT. You guys can really get started now."
"Absolutely," Julia nodded eagerly in approval. "The first attempt of balance training was really good today, in two or three days we'll move you in a real wheelchair for the first time and start you on your wheelchair training."
The doctor closed the file in his hands giving Quinn a smile. "I'll leave you two to discuss the further steps of PT. You're doing really good so far Quinn. I'll see you tomorrow." As quickly as he had appeared before he was out of the room again.
"You still look a little pale," Julia said as she sat down on Quinn's bed and handed a full water glass to her, putting three fingers on her wrist to check her pulse. "But your vitals seem okay."
"I always look pale," Quinn stated, taking the glass and drinking a sip. "Even more so after three weeks under only fluorescent light."
"Touché." Julia smiled and put the nearly empty glass back down on the nightstand. "But you know, once we have you in a real wheelchair you can spend all the time you want outside working on getting a little bit more color."
"Yeah?" Quinn asked cautiously. It was silly, but she almost felt like she had forgotten how to read to good news. Or she just didn't really trust the good news, afraid that she would get a setback as soon as she allowed herself to be happy about something.
"Absolutely," Julia said. "Things in the rehab unit work a bit differently than here Quinn. We'll push you to be independent. Once you're in that wheelchair and able to handle it there won't be anybody bringing you to exams or even to PT. You'll have to get there on your own."
"Are you serious?" Quinn didn't know if she should be frightened or excited about that perspective. Independence sounded nice, but it suddenly felt like a little bit too much too soon. Today she had only sat up by herself for three minutes and in a few days Julia wanted her wheeling herself around the hospital without anyone's help? Quinn was skeptical. "What about the stuff I can't do yet? Like dressing myself. Or getting out of bed?" She wanted to ask about the bathroom issues but felt it would be too embarrassing to actually go there. "You'll get assistance with that until you have it down, but once you do, you'll do it on your own."
In a spontaneous second of positive-ness Quinn decided she would allow herself to feel good about this news for now. It felt sort of risky to do though, in the prospect that all of the independence had the possibility of showing her how dependent she really was, but for now she liked the idea of getting a little bit of her old life back. As desperately as she wanted all of it back, she was willing to settle for even a little bit of freedom, to decide if she wanted to make a stop in the bathroom to check her appearance in the mirror. . "And here I thought you weren't even capable of a genuine smile," Julia teased. "You should smile more often; it looks good on you."
Quinn felt herself blushing a tiny bit and she avoided Julia's look embarrassed. "There wasn't much reason before in these torture sessions you call PT."
Julia did her best to look appalled. "Does that mean I won't get a good review card from you? I'm shocked."
Quinn could have easily shot a snarky remark back but decided against it. "Thanks," she said in a quiet tone instead. "I know I've pretty much been a bitch to you the entire time we've know each other, but I really do … just thanks for your patience I guess."
Julia nodded with a smile. "You'll have plenty of opportunity to test my patience." She took a look at her watch. "I'll be back after lunch, okay? Maybe we can work on your balance in the mobilization wheelchair then. Or do you want to wait for that until Rachel comes for dinner?"
At the mention of Rachel, Quinn felt a strange excitement bubble up within her. The news she had gotten today wasn't big but she looked forward to sharing it with Rachel. She just knew that Rachel would be enthusiastic to hear about the progress.
"I would like to spend the whole afternoon in the chair," Quinn decided. "That way I can do the exercise as often as possible."
Julia seemed to consider that suggestion for a moment before she nodded. "Sure we can do that." She paused for a moment before she added a strict. "But no pushing yourself too much. Motivation is good as long as you don't overdo it."
"I promise to be a good girl," Quinn said in a mocking innocent tone.
Julia rolled her eyes as she walked out of the room. "I think I'll demand a raise for putting up with you."
Rachel flat out skipped glee club that day. It was a first and she'd struggled with the decision for several hours but in the end she decided that she wasn't in the mood for either Santana's or Finn's accusations.
So after her English lesson in the last period she shot Kurt a text telling him she had a migraine and that she wouldn't be able to make it to glee today.
"Rachel!"
Halfway across the school parking lot and at her car she spun around when she heard someone call out her name.
Surprised to see Mercedes approaching her with uncommonly quick steps Rachel stopped in her tracks and waited for her friend to catch up with her.
"Hey Mercedes," she greeted her, maybe a little over the top excited to see her. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in glee club right now?"
"I could ask you the same thing," Mercedes returned, still trying to catch her breath. "Where are you off to?"
"I have a migraine," Rachel explained. "I'm on my way home."
"No you're not," Mercedes stated unimpressed. "You're on your way to see Quinn."
Rachel pulled all the surprised, shocked, appalled facial expressions out of her acting class repertoire, but Mercedes silenced her with the raise of a hand before she could even come up with an excuse. "Next time you want to keep something a secret make sure Finn doesn't blurt it out in the cafeteria."
Rachel just stood there quietly shrugging in a defeated way. "Yes, I am on my way to see Quinn."
"So it's true," Mercedes huffed out. "You have been with Quinn in the hospital? Like actually talking to her?"
Rachel mentally cursed Finn with the worst swear words she knew. "Yes, Mercedes."
Mercedes narrowed her eyes. "Care to explain me why I've been sent away every day last week, getting the answer no visitors allowed."
Rachel's mouth opened and closed a few times, but the excuses she tried to come up with never made it past her lips. Telling her friend that she had been telling the nurses not to let anybody in would probably not have been well received. The struggle for words was for nothing though. Mercedes came at her with more questions before she had time to answer the previous one.
"Well, how is she?" she asked. She looked a little upset with herself that this hadn't been her first question. "Oh Jesus, yes, how is she? Is she okay?"
Rachel nodded her head quickly to reassure her friend. "She's over the worst and as good as to be expected considering the circumstances."
"What circumstances exactly?"
Rachel shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, unsure what she should tell Mercedes.
"Answer me!" Mercedes demanded angrily. "I want to know how she is. What happened to her in the accident? Did she break something? Is she horribly scared? What?"
Rachel's eyes dropped down to her feet and, before she turned to her friend.
"It's not my place to fill you in on that," she said in a firm, unwaveringly calm voice. "I made a promise. I'm sorry. I can't tell you more."
The previous worry on Mercedes face was replaced with pure anger. "That is bullshit!" she insisted. "Since when are you Quinn's best friend? She barely tolerates your existence! Who are you to decide about what she does or doesn't want?"
Rachel looked around at the parking lot worriedly, afraid that anyone else might pick up on the conversation. The cheerios sometimes strolled around the parking lot at this time, the last thing she wanted was for a couple of Quinn's former team mates to make an appearance in Toledo.
"I'm not," she told her firmly. "All I'm trying is to do what Quinn asked of me. Please don't make me break my promise."
At her last words Mercedes face softened a little bit. "You know how worried we all are about her. You could at least let us know if she's okay!"
Rachel's expression softened a bit too but she still shook her head. "You don't understand. It's not like I kept this a secret because I wanted her all to myself. If I had told you, or anyone, you would have wanted to come along and Quinn is in a very fragile state right now and she isn't ready for that just yet."
"And what makes you think you are the person who gets to decide that?" Mercedes asked, her voice calm.
"I'm just doing what Quinn asked me to," Rachel said. "And as her friends you should follow her wish as well."
Mercedes shook her head a little frustrated. "You're acting like you are her publicist or something. You guys haven't even been friends for that long, I've been friends with her since sophomore year."
Rachel rubbed her temple before dropping her hand back to her side. This whole discussion was pointless. Nothing Mercedes said would ever convince her to go against what Quinn had asked of her. And nothing she said would stop her friend from thinking she was a terrible, selfish person for keeping this to herself.
"I'm done playing this blaming game," Rachel announced eventually. "I know you are worried about Quinn but this isn't going to lead anywhere."
Mercedes crossed her arms. "Let me come to Toledo with you."
Rachel immediately shook her head insistently at the mere suggestion. "Absolutely not. Quinn would-"
"Quinn is a big girl. If she doesn't want me there she can say so and I'll never step a foot in that hospital until told otherwise. I promise."
Rachel had to admit that this did sound kind of reasonable. After all it wasn't like she was taking the whole glee club to come see Quinn. Mercedes was one of Quinn's closest friends. Ignoring the bad feeling in her stomach, that told her to otherwise, Rachel let out an exaggerated groan and unlocked her car.
"Fine," she told Mercedes. "Get in."
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!
