Slowly, Sweetly Chapter 7: Can You See It, Syaoran?

Important apology: Sakura's second confrontation with Yue, previewed in Chapter 6, has been moved to Chapter 8. I'm really sorry about that but I think you'll see why I did it and forgive me—maybe with a review? (cheeky, eh? sorry!) Hence this has been updated before May 1—and watch out for another update soon! The first chapter of the ExT story goes up as scheduled on May 1, and I'd like to thank (Oriental) for that!

Preview, thanks, and notes at end of story!


Coffee and Tea

"She forgave him quickly, didn't she?" Eriol mused as he stirred his strong coffee, the scent of which Tomoyo was beginning to associate with him. "I would have thought she would have raked him over the coals first."

"No. That's not like Sakura-chan," Tomoyo smiled. "And you of all people should know better than to ask questions you already know the answers to," she chided him.

They were discussing the fight between Sakura and Syaoran that he had walked in on the previous evening. Eriol had called Syaoran that afternoon, and finally wrestled a small part of the story of their reconciliation out of the latter by that evening; now, over a quiet dinner at Tomoyo's condominium, the two friends were dissecting the latest developments in what they whimsically referred to as their "project."

"Explain it to me, then," he smiled. "That way I can better gather my thoughts."

"All right," Tomoyo smiled. "Sakura-chan knew Li-kun was right—despite the unfortunate way in which he phrased it. And she knew he would be there to support and comfort her. In her way Sakura does trust Li-kun, but the one she probably doesn't trust—is herself." She sipped her tea, and added, "My mother said that those who have been victims tend to cling to their pain, as that they are familiar with. Treading new ground—in Sakura-chan's case, new love—is far more frightening because she has no idea what to expect."

"Add to that," Eriol looked off in the distance, "she needs Syaoran. She has lots of smiley, casual friends but close friends like you, Tomoyo-san, she has so few. Syaoran is someone she trusts and loves, and you can't blame her for thinking she is terrified to lose him."

"Wishful thinking," Tomoyo sighed. "Had they only met first..."

Secretly Eriol agreed. If only. "Why," he finally spoke, "do I feel that this is just the tip of the iceberg?"

"Perhaps because we are in the crow's nest, able to see far in the distance but unable to do a thing about it," Tomoyo said.

"For once, I wish I were wrong," Eriol said.

"For once, so do I."


The morning after they first slept in each other's arms, Syaoran woke up first. He stretched, catlike, having enjoyed the best sleep he'd had in years, then he turned to look at Sakura. He knew she was the reason; her mere presence made him feel warm and safe. She was still snuggled up to him, looking quite peaceful, and her breathing was slow and even. No nightmares, Syaoran was relieved to note; she hadn't tossed or cried out in the night.

He enjoyed watching her sleep for several moments. She smiled in her sleep and murmured something he didn't catch. Please God don't let her be dreaming of Yue, Syaoran cringed. It bothered him that he was falling for her, and her heart belonged to someone else.

Which made the person he was about to visit the perfect confidant; Eriol was stuck in some unrequited relationship as well, and would understand.

But this moment with Sakura—no one could take it away from him and he gently touched her smooth cheek. He'd never really watched Alia sleep, he regretted; with Sakura he was determined to savor every moment with her. All too soon though he noticed it was almost eight, and he moved to kiss her forehead. She stirred at his caress.

"Mmmff?" she asked sleepily. "Syrmnh?"

"I have to go see Eriol for a bit. Just thirty minutes, then I'll start breakfast. Okay?"

"M'kay..." she said, quickly drifting off again.

Syaoran watched her a little more, smiling, marveling at how fate had brought this amazing, beautiful woman into his life—and made her not only his friend but also someone he loved very much. He dressed warmly and drove to Eriol's condominium complex. Without preamble, Eriol opened the door; it annoyed Syaoran how the man knew he was coming even when he didn't say a thing.

"Syaoran." Eriol greeted him with a raised brow. "Wrote a song, or looking for advice?" He went to the kitchen to fix the tea he knew Syaoran liked.

"Provide a melody to your sappy crap?" Syaoran raised a brow as he hung up his thick jacket. "Bloody hell no." He followed Eriol into the kitchen.

"Early in the morning and your vocabulary is positively rhapsodic," Eriol twitted him as he handed Syaoran a mug of tea.

"Whatever." Syaoran nodded his thanks and sat down without being asked.

"How are you and Sakura-san?" Eriol asked as he sat down, a mug of his strong coffee in hand.

Eriol was surprised to see Syaoran smile a very tender smile. "We're good. No worries. I apologized to her..."

"You—apologized?" Eriol raised an eyebrow. "Since when does 'sorry' belong in your vocabulary?"

Instead of getting annoyed at the comment, Syaoran quietly told him the complete story of what had happened the other day, when he'd waited for Sakura to come down, and how he'd said sorry. "Then I made her take the day off and made sure she got some sleep. She was so tired, she slept the whole day; when I left she was still asleep. It was a wrench leaving her alone in bed but I had to talk to you in private."

So they slept together, Eriol realized, and hid a smile by taking a sip of coffee. Tomoyo-san will be utterly disappointed to know that they didn't make love though. "I'm glad," was all he said.

The two friends sat looking at each other, and Eriol said, to break the awkwardness, "So either you profess your concealed undying love for me now or you tell me what you need advice on." It had to be important for Syaoran to get out of bed early and drive through the snow to see him personally.

"What is it with you and Sakura and gay stuff?" Syaoran grumbled. Eriol merely raised a brow. Sighing, Syaoran looked away. "Advice," he muttered. "You're smart. What do you do if the person you love is still in love with somebody else? And you know it would hurt them if they knew you feel the way you do, but you can't help loving them? What if you don't want to lose their friendship?"

"Don't be stupid. She's getting married now." Eriol baited, praying that Syaoran would prove him wrong and be talking about Sakura. "I hoped you'd understand by now, Syaoran. Loraina is completely out of your reach."

Syaoran shot him a glare. "Just… What would you do?"

"You don't want to drive her away by loving her. Just remain friends," Eriol said. Oh boy did he ever feel qualified to dispense advice on this crap.

"…Yeah. That's right. What would you do?"

Eriol sighed, and took off his glasses. From his pocket he took a small cloth, and rubbed them clean. "You can't tell her, then. Just support her and be there for her, always. No need to show your love anywhere but in your own heart. Keep your feelings close, but let yourself prove that you will do what you can for her. If love's written for you both, maybe something will happen, and she'll see what you're trying to do. But if not, then you'll have her at your side, as a friend, forever. And that's all you can hope for."

"In other words, don't scare her off," Syaoran mused. "Like I'm not already trying that," he muttered.

Done wiping his glasses, he placed them back upon the bridge of his nose, and glared at Syaoran. To test his old friend, he continued to pretend to be obtuse, and added, "But that's me. Loraina won't accept you, Syaoran. She's seen an ugly side of you, a possessive side that refused – is still refusing – to let go."

Syaoran stood up, and walked towards the doorway before stopping. Used to Syaoran's habits, Eriol waited; Syaoran always liked having the last word. "You're wrong," he said clearly.

"Pardon me?"

"You're wrong. I've let go of Alia… I'll always adore her, but I've let go of her. I...I think now know what it means to truly love..." Syaoran paused, and looked out of Eriol's condominium's large bay windows. Snow was coming down; Syaoran knew have to go home soon to make sure he wasn't snowed out of his own house. He didn't want to leave Sakura alone, and he'd promised to make her breakfast.

"And you know what?" Syaoran continued, "it sucks to be in love, to always worry about the other person, to put a lid on what you want because you're worried about what she needs. But then it's also something beautiful, and I finally understand...why Alia divorced me. We never got the chance for a real relationship—and it was mostly my fault. Alia tried so hard..." Syaoran swallowed hard, "and I never even thanked her, but I pushed her away after she did the right thing. And so I'm going slow with her—the one I love now. I want to hear that she loves me first so I don't force my wants on her. And if she never says it—well, what can I do?"

"Then why… Who?" Eriol allowed a ray of hope to blossom in his chest.

"She means everything to me, Eriol, but I don't feel the need to own her. Just being part of her life is enough. I don't feel the need to own her or to control her—you can't do that. I..." and Syaoran almost smiled, "I think I finally know what it means to love someone so much that all you care about is her happiness. Never mind my own, because when she's happy, I am happy too. It's not that I don't want her, but I want her so much I know I have to take it slow with her."

Eriol did not dare smile, not what Syaoran was having his moment of realization. So instead, though he knew the answer, he asked, "Someone I know?"

He couldn't see Syaoran's slight smile as he said, "A very good friend, and the most beautiful woman I know," and left the room.

"So he realized it, huh?" Eriol mused. "Things will move along now… I just hope he realizes that even if he remains friends with her, they will never truly be content to restrain themselves from being nothing more. Syaoran will live in agony this way…until he finds the courage to express himself to Sakura-san." With a sad smile, Eriol added, "And this time, I have the first-hand experience to prove it…"

But he smiled. "No. Sakura-san suffers the same way. And there's that adage about misery and company..."

He automatically reached for his phone to call Tomoyo, whom he knew would want every little detail. Perhaps the time had come to plant cameras in his house, just as she had suggested, he thought—and the thought made him smile.


Gifts for Valentine

Sakura shopped with Tomoyo at the Sanrio megastore in Tokyo the day before Valentine's Day, buying little presents for her male friends. Tomoyo watched her friend with love and affection; she had gently prodded Sakura to talk about her life with Syaoran, and her friend happily shared stories of life with him: how they divided chores, how they played pranks with each other, how he called her at work—stories that told Tomoyo so much more.

And when Sakura bought her present for Syaoran—a cute little wolf pen holder and an engraved fountain pen—Tomoyo couldn't resist asking, "Why aren't you making him something like chocolate? It's traditional to give handmade gifts, Sakura-chan! How unromantic of you to deny Syaoran a gift made by your hands!"

Sakura giggled. "I can't, not when we live together! He'll know—and he'll probably eat the chocolate before Valentine's Day just to annoy me—that silly amber-eyed wolf," she said affectionately. "And no matter what project I start he'll know it's for him."

Tomoyo smiled broadly. With very little prodding from her and Eriol, Syaoran and Sakura had actually slipped into a very cozy, loving domestic arrangement. This had to be discussed with her partner in crime. She was sure that, as she and Sakura talked, Eriol and Syaoran were also talking as they met for their weekly music brainstorming session. After all, it was what they had agreed on.

"Oh, this is for you," Sakura smiled, and took out a present from her bag. It was a DVD with a 3D rendering program which she had commissioned for Tomoyo and her designs, one with an archiving and indexing feature which would help her best friend locate her designs.

"Oh, this is perfect!" Tomoyo smiled. "Thanks so much, Sakura." She placed it in her bag, next to the only other Valentine's Day present she received: seedling packs for hybrid roses, lavender, and nadeshiko, peach, and sakura blossoms from the man who had helped her hold herself together. She was taking the seeds to a hothouse for cultivation, and she thought of Eriol fondly; his kindness was something she relied on for so long.

"Why are you smiling so nicely?" Sakura asked curiously; they had stopped at the Cat's Eye Cafe for a snack.

"I'm glad you're happy," Tomoyo said as she reached out to take Sakura's hand. She offered the bait for the knowledge she wanted. "But I heard you and Syaoran argued a few days ago. Eriol-san says you locked yourself away from Syaoran all night."

Sakura sighed. "Yeah."

"Eriol-kun says Syaoran said he told you a lot of hurtful things," Tomoyo prodded.

"He did," Sakura said softly as she stirred her hot chocolate. She missed the little ritual of Syaoran blowing on it to cool it down as he normally did for her when they were at the cafe or at home. She then told Tomoyo the story of their argument, omitting only the part about her confused feelings for Syaoran. She didn't want Tomoyo to know just yet.

Tomoyo looked thoughtful. "He waited for you to come down and made breakfast?"

"And he apologized over and over," Sakura smiled at the memory. "Even after I went to work the next day he messaged me with 'sorrys' several times and even explained what he meant. Sheesh! And you know how hard it is for him to use that word. But he—I realized he had a point. I can't be a victim forever, and I can't live in the past. He's right, though he didn't deliver it well, sure—but that's Syaoran for you. It's not easy but with his help I'm trying to let go—and Tomoyo-chan, I hope I'm strong enough to let go."

"Had any nightmares since?" Tomoyo asked, concerned. She knew Sakura still suffered from nightmares of the past and fears of abandonment.

Sakura blushed. "We've slept together since then, and my dreams have been peaceful...it's like he keeps the demons away. He..."

She was cut off when Tomoyo screeched happily. "TELL! Oh, you're such a meanie, Sakura, tell tell tell! What was it like? How sexy is he? Ooooh! Have you made love every night since then? I bet he's better than Yue in bed!"

Sakura laughed. "No! Keep your voice down; people are staring. No, not that way. He just held me—spooned me, and we just slept. Period."

"Oh Sakura-chan..." Tomoyo fondly patted her friend's hand. "Sorry about that. But seriously—think about it. He is your husband, after all. Making love is normal, and you know how wonderful it can be. I hear Syaoran is a very passionate lover," she baited again, rather naughtily.

"I—I can't, Tomoyo-chan!" Sakura reddened, because she had thought about it, especially in the mornings when Syaoran sometimes unconsciously pressed himself into her and she would notice he had a morning "happy". Since he liked to sleep in boxers, she had no way of ignoring it. She wished she had the courage to wake him with a kiss, and things would move from there, from kisses to touching to feeling to nakedness—oh God she wanted to explore him, see how beautiful he was—and...

...and that was where the fantasy ended for her. She couldn't bear it if they got into some kind of physical relationship and then they would wind up using each other for comfort without love. She didn't think she could live with that.

Oh but the temptation to give in to the bliss of making love with Syaoran was overwhelming.

"But...Tomoyo-chan, about Yue—I think..." Who could you trust if it wasn't your best friend? She took a deep breath. "I think I was using him to distract me from Syaoran."

"Really?" The teasing glint disappeared from Tomoyo's eyes. Finally, the conversation had gone where she wanted it to.

"I don't understand what I feel about Syaoran," Sakura said slowly. "I can't stand not being with him, and the thought of losing him drives me crazy. I—I can't even think of the prospect of losing him," she said quietly.

Tomoyo hid a small gasp. Sakura had never been this way with any of her exes; she had simply fallen, and gone straight to "hanyaan" or sweet mode. Her emotions for Syaoran were strong, yet she was fighting desperately against them.

She really does not want to lose him, Tomoyo thought. When will she realize that she already loves him, that all her subterfuges are nothing but symptoms of denial? And that he truly is different from all the others who've been in her life?

"Perhaps, Sakura-chan, you should trust Syaoran a little more..."

"That's what you said before," Sakura sighed. "It's not that I don't trust Syaoran—No. That's a lie. I don't trust myself and as a result I don't trust him—and yet I want him there all the time and I need him so badly..." Sakura bit back her tears. "Oh Tomoyo-chan, I am so confused! He needs—he deserves—someone without my emotional baggage, someone beautiful like Alia," she said miserably.

"Sometimes it's a question of what he wants, instead of what he needs," Tomoyo said soothingly. The implications of her statement sailed right past Sakura though.

"Syaoran deserves someone—who's good enough for him," Sakura said miserably. "Someone who's not as—soiled—as me," her voice trailed off in a whisper.

Tomoyo stood up so suddenly, the table clattered. Her violet eyes were blazing. "Don't you dare, Sakura-chan! Never ever dare think of yourself as someone lesser than others. Just because all those—those bastards," and Sakura gasped; Tomoyo never, ever cursed!—"made you feel that way does not mean you are that way! I will never forgive you if you let them destroy you when so much life, so much love waits for you and you're too wrapped up in your misery to see it. Misery can be such a comforting crutch, Sakura-chan, but you can't let it define you!" She was breathing heavily from the emotion and Sakura stared at her, wide-eyed. Was this Tomoyo?

Little did she know that Tomoyo's anger stemmed from the fact that Sakura could not see that the one she loved—and Tomoyo believed Sakura was already in love with Syaoran—was still there. Syaoran cared about her, had married her, held her in his arms at night. There was all the groundwork for a beautiful beginning of love—and Eriol and she knew that Syaoran had finally realized he was in love with her ever since. He and Sakura had an eternity of tomorrows ahead of them.

What Tomoyo would give to still be able to hold her lover again—even just one last time...she clenched her fists and bit back the urge to cry. She would never have those things anymore—not since he had died. And to her horror, it was she who felt tears begin in her eyes. It was almost a year since the accident, and yet—she still could not accept it!

"Tomoyo-chan," Sakura stood up, horrified. How had the conversation gotten to this? "Tomoyo-chan, I'm so sorry..."

Her best friend had a point, she reluctantly admitted. But why was Tomoyo so affected? She reached out a hand to touch Tomoyo, who for the first time in their long friendship, turned away.

"Please don't apologize, Sakura-chan. You do that too often. I apologize for the outburst, though," she said quietly. "Please forgive me but I must go." She stood up and took her paper bags off the floor. "But promise me—stop being blind. Stop listening to your insecurities and start listening to your heart and what it feels, wants, and needs. Let go and let Syaoran in. It's for your own good." She bowed, smiled, and left.

And she left a confused Sakura behind. Let Syaoran in? What did she mean?

Sakura drove home, trying to make sense of what had happened. When she got home and took her coat off, Syaoran arrived shortly afterwards.

"Rough day?" he asked as he shook the snow off his boots, and took off his jacket. He kissed her forehead as she welcomed him home.

"I think I had an argument with Tomoyo, but I'm not sure..." How much could she safely tell Syaoran without giving away what she felt about him? Sakura's eyes widened; I should have shut up, Syaoran's too perceptive, he'll know!

Thankfully Syaoran only hugged her; he then tilted up her chin when she relaxed. "Cherry, it's normal for friends to fight. I suppose it was very personal 'cause you're not talking about it voluntarily, yeah?" She nodded, and Syaoran smiled. "Listen—leave her alone for now. Then ask her out for lunch or dinner. Tell her," and his eyes sparkled with mischief, "that you want her to design a nice cocktail dress or gown for you. Leave the choice of design and stuff entirely up to her."

"As a peace offering?" Sakura smiled.

"Yes, and you need one; my family is hosting a grand reunion sometime soon and I'd love to have you meet them," he said.

"That's a great idea. Thanks," Sakura kissed his cheek, and he resisted the urge to turn and 'accidentally' catch her lips with his.

"Oh, this is for you. Happy Valentine's," Sakura grinned, and tossed a green and yellow package at Syaoran. Inside was the cute little wolf pen holder, and a new silver fountain pen—with green ink included.

"Green?" Syaoran raised one dark brow. "Silver?"

"I told you—I think you should like green more," Sakura giggled. "I know you love blue, but like I said, green kind of is a nice color on you. Plus it's supposed to inspire creativity!"

"Well, when you put it like that," Syaoran laughed. He fully intended to try out the pen, and when he saw she'd had it engraved with his name, he smiled; she loved kidding him about his mania for labeling the things he owned. "Thank you. I am so gonna owe you a good White Day gift!"

Sakura, to his surprise, blushed. "You don't have to, really. Just—just stay...I mean, you being here..."

He understood, and wrapped her in his arms. "You'll always have me, whether you like it or not," he smiled. "And it brings a curse upon you to not return Valentine's Day presents with presents twice their value."

"Says who?" Sakura's eyes widened.

"All four of my sisters. They used to blackmail me with it when I was a kid. Shiefa even said I'd grow up, ahem, an 'inadequate' man if I didn't return presents twice their value to them," Syaoran groaned.

Sakura laughed, tossing her head back. "Awww! You must have been such a cute, gullible kid!"

"Yeah, so?" Syaoran cringed; this was embarrassing!

"I would have loved kidding you! Tomoyo-chan and I had this friend, Yamazaki-kun, and he told the most awful lies and stories. You would have loved him; he could make stories out of anything!"

"Humphf. Sounds like he'd make a better best friend for Eriol. Did you know that prick likes telling stories as well?"

"Eriol-san?" Sakura was surprised. "Really?"

"Unfortunately, yes. So what's for dinner?" Syaoran asked.

"What would you like?" Sakura walked to the kitchen and Syaoran followed.

"Mmm—how about that bolognese sauce, ribbon pasta, and the sausages I bought?" Syaoran asked as Sakura opened the refrigerator. "Don't forget the cheese!"

"Sounds good to me," Sakura smiled as Syaoran, without being asked, filled a large casserole with water, set it on the stove to boil, then reached for the onions and garlic. He began to peel and chop them, and she placed the ground beef in the microwave to defrost it.

As she waited for the meat to defrost, she watched Syaoran. He had a habit of biting his lip when he was concentrating, and she loved the way his teeth worried his lower lip. She found herself wondering what his lips would taste like, and smiled. His amber eyes would go somewhat dark too, when he was thinking—as they did now. His bangs would hang in his face and he would brush them away impatiently with the hand that wasn't holding a knife, or send a blast of air from his lips to blow the hair away. Sakura longed to brush his bangs away herself, but didn't dare; how would she explain it?

Her feelings, Sakura realized, complicated things; she was more sensitive to the things he said and more shy around him. Little intimacies she used to take for granted, like touching him or kissing him, suddenly were infused with fear as she was terrified he would see through her and what she felt for him. Everything he said, she would examine to see if she had missed some kind of meaning in it.

And she was furious at herself for complicating things. But if she went back to the way she felt before, it would mean never seeing how beautiful he really was, how wonderful a friend he was—how uniquely Syaoran he was, a gift to her from some kindly God who allowed her to find consolation in his warmth, in him allowing her to be part of his life.

Syaoran noticed Sakura was watching him, and suddenly felt embarrassed. She was probably comparing him to Yue; the emotional scars he bore from their fight over Sakura watching Yue in the gym were related to his belief that Sakura thought Yue was more attractive than him.

He'd never really cared about his appearance before, and no matter what Eriol said, he didn't think of himself as a handsome man. He was scrupulous about his hygiene, but he'd never gotten to getting facials, massages, and other things men like Eriol considered necessary. He didn't think of himself as a pretty boy.

Should he start then? Syaoran wondered. Would it be a case of, if he were more handsome, dressed more snappily, and was more charming, could he win Sakura over and get her to moon over him the way she did with Yue? He wished he was more suave, a better dresser, someone who didn't curse as often as he did. In short, someone Sakura could fall in love with, not just plain old Syaoran Li who had a potty mouth and liked to trash her.

But he wouldn't be true to himself if he changed that way all of a sudden and he knew Sakura never asked him to change anything essential about himself. That was the warmest thing about her: she accepted him as he was, and even forgave him when he forgot to forgive himself. Her presence was enough to keep him warm, and he felt that he would be a happy man if she agreed not to divorce him after the two years were over.

Not that he wasn't already happy. He was part of her life—that's what he wanted, right?

The complication was that he now saw her as a woman—one he desired, one he loved. Sometimes he was tempted not to sleep beside Sakura because he sometimes had erotic dreams about her. He wanted her; he'd stopped denying it, but he also respected her need for space, and time to heal old wounds.

If only he hadn't fallen for her. If only they could go back to their once-innocent friendship. Yet innocence, once lost, can never be reclaimed.

His grip on the knife slipped, and he almost cut himself; luckily his reflexes allowed him to pull his hand away before the knife could do damage.

"Syaoran!" Sakura was at his side in an instant.

"I'm okay," he said quickly. "Look," he held up his hand.

"Oh, thank goodness," she said as she inspected his hand.

Syaoran raised his hand to her cheek, not knowing he was leaning in closer as he did. He was mere inches away from her, letting himself drown in her eyes, and he smiled gently.

Sakura smiled back, and snuggled her cheek into his palm. "Don't scare me that way again, okay?" she said

"I promise," Syaoran said. The moment, whatever it was, had fled them but the sweetness would linger for a long time.


Disaster

A few weeks later, Sakura was humming to herself as she walked the corridors outside Yue's office. It was a holiday, and she wasn't afraid she would run into him; he was rarely around these days. Probably with his new non-Chinese girlfriend—amend that to fiancee, she thought bitterly. She was doing research in the library for a proposal she was writing, and she was thinking of ways to present the ideas she had in mind. She felt positive and enthusiastic; Syaoran and she had been enjoying their days together, and she'd even helped him once as he scored some cute lyrics for Eriol that made him cringe. He'd even sat patiently and waited as she'd gotten her hair highlighted and bobbed to the shoulder-scraping length it had been in high school; he was floored when the results were lovely. Syaoran then insisted that she go with Tomoyo for facials and massages and other beauty routines regularly—and even paid for them when he saw how happy she was and how good she looked.

Sakura smiled. Syaoran. It was lovely to have such a wonderful friend for a husband, and she was happy he seemed to feel the same way. They were supposed to have dinner tonight at the Cat's Eye cafe, something they did at least once a week, and she looked forward to seeing him.

She found the materials she needed in the filing room near Yue's office, and uttered a gleeful, "Yes!" She pulled them out, leaving notes and flags to mark what she'd gotten folders. Arranging them in a large envelope, she exited the room, eager to finish and maybe spend some time shopping for the groceries before meeting Syaoran.

"Oh, there you are," a familiar voice said, and Sakura froze. Yue! What was he doing in the office? "I was looking for you." Yue came closer, practically breathing into Sakura's face. "You look beautiful. Marriage...seems to be good for you." His arms formed a prison, and Sakura backed up, cringing.

"No," Sakura squeaked, and found herself backed into the wall behind her. "Leave me alone!"

"So tell me," Yue began, and Sakura didn't like the glint in his eyes, "was this an arranged marriage? A marriage of convenience? How come I never see your husband in the office? How come you don't talk about this guy, whatever his last name is, since you don't use it?" His tone was accusatory.

Sakura managed to hiss, "Not that you would know what it means to be a husband. Or to love, for that matter."

"But I will find out soon," Yue smiled. "I have an invitation for you—and your husband." He held out a dove-gray envelope. "Try to attend, will you? Together."

She pushed him away and gathered what was left of her pride, stalking away from him slowly instead of giving in to the impulse to run.

Naoko, who happened to turn into the other end of the corridor, put a hand over her mouth. She didn't like the look of what had happened, and Yue glared at her when he turned to walk back into his office. Quietly, she followed Sakura, who wandered back to her office haphazardly.

Sakura wanted to talk to Syaoran so, so badly. Once she reached her office, she opened the envelope...and then turned pale once she read the entire invitation.

Our parents,

Penk Eng and Dao Yip Lim

Noribo and Arika Satoshi

have given their blessings to the joining of our hearts

Yue Deng Lim

and

Loraina Kirika Satoshi

would be honored by your presence

for their nuptials

Details for the reception and venue followed, and a photo collage of the lovers appeared on the inside envelope of the invitation.

It's Alia! Sakura covered her mouth in shock, recognizing Alia from the photos that Syaoran used to have before she moved in with him. He'd politely gotten rid of them when they got married, keeping only a few in his own room—which, come to think of it, she hadn't seen those photos for a long time. Syaoran had replaced them with photos of Sakura and him.

But, Yue—was marrying Alia? She fought the wild impulse to laugh. Didn't this sort of thing happen only in insane stories, or on television? Sakura fumbled in her bag for her cell phone to call Syaoran.

No. She couldn't talk to Syaoran! She could not tell him that their exes were marrying—she didn't know why but she couldn't. Blind with tears, she grabbed her wallet and fled, leaving everything else behind—her purse, her car keys, her cell phone, everything.

She was, if she cared to admit it, terrified that Syaoran would break down and be upset over Alia remarrying, as she knew he was still in love with her. Though he hadn't mentioned her for some time, she suspected he was keeping it in out of respect for her.

That she was wrong was something she never suspected.

When Sakura disappeared for the rest of the day, leaving her purse behind in her office, Naoko knew something was very wrong.

She breathed a silent apology to Sakura and went through her things. Her driver's license was in the bag and it listed her address in a quiet area of Tokyo—an expensive community in a prime location. Sakura's new husband, it seemed, was a wealthy man, Naoko was surprised to note; he'd seemed like a regular guy (albeit extremely handsome) the one time he'd gone to their office.

Gathering her courage, Naoko summoned a taxi and gave the driver that address. At the gates, Naoko stopped, awed by the large yet cozy house, with fireblossom and sakura blossom trees—both still bare in the winter—lining the large driveway. A gleaming BMW sat in the garage, and what she could see of the furnishings were rich yet cozy. She got out of the cab, walked up to the door, and rang the bell.

Syaoran came out, curiously eyeing Naoko. "Yeah?" He barely managed to keep his voice this side of polite—bordering on rude.

"Ah...Li-san?" she began. He was so tall and good-looking, it was intimidating talking to him. "I am Naoko Yanisagawa, and I'm Sakura-chan's officemate. You might remember me from when you visited her before you were married?"

"Um...yeah?" Syaoran was curious and barely managed to rein in his normal tendency to be rude to strangers. But he reminded himself that she was probably a friend of Sakura's so he reined himself in.

"I..." She held up Sakura's bag and Syaoran's eyes narrowed. "I came to return this."

"What..." Syaoran's expression quickly changed as he grabbed the bag. He immediately noticed her cell phone inside, and he knew she would not leave it behind just like that. "What happened? Where is she? Is she all right? Where's Sakura?" He didn't realize he had grabbed Naoko's arm until the woman whimpered in pain. "Sorry." He released Naoko, drew a deep breath to rein himself in and asked in a gentler tone, "Please. Where is Sakura and what happened to her?"

Naoko looked up at him. Syaoran's eyes were wild, and she realized he was worried about Sakura. He must really love her, she thought.

"Li-san...I don't know where she is...I just want you to know... Do you know about...Yue?"

Syaoran didn't reply immediately, but his eyes hardened in anger. "Did that asshole do anything to her?" His fists clenched dangerously.

"I...I don't know..." Naoko stammered, put off balance by Syaoran's language.

He noticed. "Sorry. Please—go on."

"I-I was at the fourth floor, and I saw Yue—he was cornering Sakura. She fled shortly, but then Yue... He saw me, he glared at me... I don't know what happened, but I'm a little scared for Sakura. She disappeared after that... left her bag behind. Please, talk to her, okay? Yue... He can be nice, but he's made her cry so much..."

Syaoran swore so badly, Naoko cringed. This time he didn't apologize; instead he gritted his teeth. "I'll find her. Thank you for telling me." He left the door ajar, then came back with his car keys. He shoved some large bills into Naoko's hands. "Sorry I can't take you where you're going. I have to find her. Take a cab." With a loud screech of tires, he peeled out of the driveway and left.

Naoko stared at the door; he'd left it wide open! She resisted the urge to peek, carefully closing and locking the door before leaving. Sakura's husband been rude and peremptory, but she also saw how he was close to the edge when he'd realized something was wrong.

Wow, I wish I could find someone who loved me that much, Naoko sighed.

And she couldn't resist one last look at the house. Clearly Sakura and her husband both cared for the house; one could see it in what was visible through the windows. And it wasn't just a home for two; she estimated at least four bedrooms.

They'll have very beautiful children, Naoko smiled, and exited the gates to hail a cab. I hope I get to see their babies. I think I'll write a love story about them someday.

End of Chapter 7


Acknowledgements are due to: 'Tomoyo' of the ECRS team who helped shape a key scene here; 'Chiharu' for her support (and bless you, wonderful person!) and Ms C, who patiently guides me and who advised the move of the Yue/Sakura scene to chapter 8 for a very good reason.

Reviewers are wonderful people! Thank you again to beaucoup riant, butterfly(dot)KISSU, Twilight Kisses, DontWakeMeUp, butterflyangellover14, lhaine07, Karithinia, AngelEmCuti, X(dot)ViixAn3elic(dot)X, rondallagurl, Skei-Fyr, Link Fangirl01, puasloma, Julia and Tania, michiko14anime, teenureen, cupid17, Dream of Autumn, harney, broken emerald, anigal08, DN Angel and Cardcaptor Sakura, aegyo, redeyes143, winterkaguya, Emina01*14, ~harmony~, lurkerreadergrrl, CheeseyCraziness, Teruna Hime, Dream Fighter75, Mrs. Radcliffe 13, and xSapphirexRosesxFanx. Reviews are like cookies for me—and I love cookies, so thanks so much!


Preview for chapter 8 (up soon! This is in addition to the preview in Chapter 6)

"No...No, Sakura, no please don't cry, I hate it when you cry," he said as he took her into his arms. "Shhh, please." He held her small body as she shook in his arms, wishing more than anything that he could take her pain away. Mutilating Yue sounded like a good idea right now, but...He clenched his fists as Sakura wept into his chest. She'd held it together for so long, and then twice in just two months, that sodding pansy had made her cry so hard, Syaoran wanted to rip him apart.

But he controlled himself, with an effort. No. Sakura and her feelings were what mattered now, not tearing that (stupid ugly asshole) Yue apart, however tempting the thought was. She might think he was angry at Yue for marrying Alia—and not the real reason: he was furious at Yue for hurting Sakura.

"Cherry—come on, please, look at me, Sakura—that's it—we are not attending that wedding. You hear me?" Syaoran touched her chin gently.

Sakura sniffled and managed to ask, "But why?"

"I don't want to give that asshole another opportunity to hurt you." Syaoran's eyes were flaming bronze, and Sakura was surprised.

"But Syaoran..." Sakura wiped her tears away, "this is an opportunity for you."

"Me?" Syaoran was incredulous. "To what? If you mean you want me to sock that poncy boy in the face for you, sure! Do you want me to?" He looked very eager at the prospect of having Sakura's blessing to rearrange Yue's face.

"No, no..." Sakura laughed through her tears. "To see Alia. To get some closure. It...it will be good for you."

"You're insane," Syaoran whispered as he pulled her back into his arms. "You've been hurt so badly and all you can think of is me getting closure? Screw that, Sakura. You're what matters. Okay? Never mind me."