I was used to this by now. How much it hurt to do anything now. How easy it was to brush off the marks he left on my skin. So why did I still try to hide this from Arthur?
I know why.
I just don't want to admit it to myself.
It will always haunt me, but it is what needs to be done.
Suppressed. Destroyed. Ignored at least.
Now when Uther does what he feels needs to be done, I take it as a reminder.
A warning.
It's been two weeks since I saw him that night. He hasn't shown any sign of being that way. He doesn't seem like the type. Just like he didn't show any sign of his sorcery. His bloody sorcery.
I roll over on my bed.
Sorcery isn't evil. Though it does change everything.
I rolled over again.
These thoughts won't help anything. I've been lying to my father this whole time. We have said that the spell has caused me to not be able to fight, due to something in my muscles. Or something along that line of thought. I've forgotten. Gaius says he is working on a natural cure. Lies again. My life is surrounded by lies.
For some reason, I don't care. Actually, I'm damn happy about it.
Uther is right. The thought runs through my head at another time of him beating me. He is right about everything. It's my fault Arthur found the cave. It wasn't chance. It does have something to do with me.
It was my magic. That's what led him there. The spell I put on him so that I could find him. Magic wants to follow the same paths, over and over. I had used the magic that had brought me down there before. So it brought him there.
Uther is right about magic as well. Partially, at least. It isn't evil. It does corrupt, however. Slowly but surely, it corrupts the best of us.
Uther's slap brought me back to earth.
"You will tell me, Boy."
I made my decision then.
"Yes, Sire, I will."
"There is about a week left on that potion, right?" Gaius asked me and Merlin.
"Two days," Merlin said quickly, "Until I don't have to listen to this prat complain anymore."
"Two days," I repeat before adding, "Until we see if he isn't as much as an idiot as we think."
We all laughed at that.
Midnight.
It is the time of the night when the best can happen.
The worse can happen as well.
It is the time when some of those who fall asleep will never wake again.
I let out a loud laugh.
"Sire, ye should be getting!" Sir Cevelan got though his laughter. A few of the other knights nodded.
"Well, if you're that desperate to get rid of me." I said with humor, "then you can check on the night guards!"
I got out of there before they could protest.
So be it. If you will not join me, then I will become you, and your power will be harnessed to my will!
The feeling of ice running throughout my mind and body.
The pain flashes through my mind.
The muttered, "troeanlia vocietiana therfokrod feastotanela!" followed by a dying breath.
Searching through the book, fear heavy on my heart.
You can't hide anything from me, Merlin.
Sadness at the fact that I can. I do.
You are completely useless.
Feeling like I'm falling off the wall, yet clinging to it with all my might. Covering it up with a sarcastic remark.
I wanted you to know that I never doubted you. All right, maybe I did, but it's your own fault. You've got a suspicious look about you. Shifty. Like you've got something to hide.
Pain at the truth in his words.
My methods are infallible, my findings incontestable. The facts point to one person and once person alone. The boy, Merlin!
The look on Arthur's face as the words are said.
And what would you know about magic, Merlin?
Nothing.
Everything.
Merlin if anything should happen to me look after Gwen; the world may think she is just a servant - dispensable; But she not dispensable to me.
Pain mingled with happiness.
For once Merlin will you do as I say!
Not if it means leaving you.
I feel great! What the hell did you give me?
Something you would kill me for allowing.
An arrow speeding toward Arthur.
The fear on his face when he figured it out.
Arthur collapsing at Morgana's feet.
Fear and panic.
Desperation.
Finding the spell that was muttered so long ago.
The loss of all feelings.
I woke up with a scream.
