Author notes: Again, thank you guys for the reviews. I appreciate all of them.
* I don't always write this fast, but I'm really excited about this. This chapter is different, more introspective and more focused on Jo than Alex. I hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
*****CHAPTER 07 - LIKE YESTERDAY*****
I remember like yesterday I
Carried a heart without hope
(Like yesterday - Colbie Caillat)
"Go," it was all Alex needed to hear before he left the courtroom less than a minute after his girlfriend. He should thank Owen later. Callie was his friend and Arizona probably could use his support, but they both had other people there to look out for them. Jo only had one and he would never leave her alone. This was his thing: take care of the people he loved. She was trying to look confident, but he knew she was nervous. The way she looked at him when she was leaving the room told him that she was about to fall apart and he didn't know if it was all about this trial or if there was something else.
They spent the night together in her apartment. After sex, a glass of wine and a chocolate bar, she was finally able to relax and fell sleep in his arms while watching a romantic comedy that she'd probably watched a thousand times before. Something about a thirteen girl who suddenly woke up in her thirties. He thought that it was stupid and under normal circumstances, he would tease her for being so cheesy. This time, though, he pretended to be paying attention.
Something she said before sleep came to his mind. "I hate courts." He was wondering when and why she'd been on a court before and if it has something to do with the frustrated look she had when the judge stopped her explanation about the case. He thought he was about to find out, when he oppened the courtroom door. Except that she wasn't there.
"I messed up. Again." Jo blamed herself for not being able to defend Torres against all those tricky questions. That lawyer... It was much worse than the last time. But now she was a grown up, she should've expected this. But she didn't. Definitely, she wasn't ready for that.
She felt tears coming up to her eyes - tears were always there, everytime she was nervous or mad. She needed some air. She knew that Alex would probably be right behind her, but she couldn't stand one more minute between those oppressive walls. He would probably think that she was on the bathroom, and she would text him once she was outside.
She only forgot one thing: The media. Once she opened the first door, the one that separate the private area from the common area, she saw a dozen of journalists standing right there, leaving no room for anyone who tried to pass. They seemed disappointed to see her instead of someone more important, but the calmness didn't last, because someone yelled that she was a witness in Travis Reed's case and all the buzz started again. Without turning back, Jo tried to find the doorknob behind her. No success. Then, she heard the door opening and she felt a hand in her shoulder.
"Alex!" Relief was all she felt. He pulled her by the arm and then she was back inside. The oppressive walls were still there, but they were better than those journalists. One more time, she felt sorry for Torres. If a witness was getting so much attention, she wondered how worse this could be for the defendant.
Alex led her to the nearest bench and sat by her side.
"Why the hell you didn't wait for me?"
"I couldn't wait, I needed to get some air."
"I was right behind you. It took me longer to find out that you weren't at the bathroom and come after you than it would take for you wait."
"I'm sorry."
"How are you?"
"How do you think I am? I messed things up and I will never forgive myself if she lose her license."
"You didn't mess anythig up. Why do you think so?"
"It wouldn't be the first time..." She couldn't hold the tears as her mind was full of memories. Fifteen years ago. Her foster sister was raped by their math teacher. The girl talked to the social worker and the guy had to defend himself before the judge. She was the only ocular witness, but she hadn't seen that much, so her testimony wasn't enough. The evidences weren't enough and the judge declared the guy innocent. She and the other girl had to move to another foster home and another school, far away from there and from each other.
For all those years, she put that memory on a hidden corner of her mind and never visited it. It wasn't the only hidden memory, there was plenty of them. That's what she did to survive. She focused in her goals and in the good things. That's how she conquered the life she had now. A normal life, friends, a career, a good job and a boyfriend who loved her - and right now had a concerned look in his eyes.
"What are you talking about?"
"Nothing. I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You can tell me you don't wanna talk about whatever it is, but you can't say that it's nothing."
If she wasn't feeling so suffocated by all of that, she would've smiled at the irony of that brief conversation. Since they first met, she had opened herself to him. She cried in front of him the first day she was on his service. She vented at him in the middle of the hall about a patient she was told more than once to just discharge. She told him about her crappy childhood. And all this before she could consider him as her friend. She didn't know why, but looking back, even when he was just the mean attending who used to sleep with interns, she felt safer to open herself up with him than she used to feel with her colleagues. Then he become her friend and ultimately her boyfriend and she was the one who was always speaking and asking questions. She always trusted. She still did, she just wasn't ready to talk about this yet. She promised herself that someday she would tell him everything. Someday.
"I don't want to talk. Not now."
Author notes:
* Camilla said once in an interview that Jo was abused and they would bring this topic later in the season. When I read that she would be testifying, this idea came to my mind. What if Callie wasn't the only one having flashbacks? I think it could be a interesting storyline at this point. Besides, I love "supportive and overprotective Alex" even more than I love "regular Alex".
