Hello C:
I don't own digimon, bla bla bla.
This is probably going to be a little cliché Dx
Matts POV~:
After everything that went down with Tai I was nothing short of terrified of being in the same room as him. God he was a jerk. I didn't want him anywhere near my brother, who had just went through such trauma. I hate you, I'll always hate you. Those words we're engraved in my head, I haven't been able to get them out. He didn't care about me, after all Sora did he was still mad at me for dating her. He was selfish. He only kissed me to get back at me I bet, he wanted me to question myself. He wanted me to feel like a fool. I wasn't, so what if I thought he was a little cute? I don't anymore. He's a disgusting animal.
At this point I was pacing Takerus room with a furious look on my face.
"Matt?... Are you okay?" Takeru asked looking confused.
"Oh, sorry" I said pushing away my anger.
"Matt... You didn't tell Kari or anyone what happened did you?" he asked in a worried tone.
"Oh God, no. That's not my story to tell. You can trust me, I wont tell anyone".
"Thanks Matt" he said smiling with relief.
Tais POV~:
"Kari... Are you sure they want me there?" I asked as Kari pulled on my sleeve, urging me to walk faster. I felt uncomfortable with her arm that close to what I had done to myself, though it was hidden under my sweater.
"Yes, for the thousandth time yes! I don't know why you're so nervous all of a sudden" she reassured me, which for some reason didn't work.
"Is Matt still there?..." I asked nervously, already knowing the answer.
"Yes Tai, I already told you he's staying as long as he can until better". I wanted to see Matt, I wanted to see him so bad. Yet at the same time I wanted to turn and run. I couldn't let him see me after all I said to him.
Maybe I could explain it to him. Maybe he'd understand what I was going through. No. I couldn't even explain it to myself. I was gay, I could never admit it to myself, I longed to be with Matt. No. It was all lies, this isn't me. I'm not like that. God. I needed him. No. I needed to be away from him. He made me hurt myself, it was him. He was playing games with me. I must be insane, I've got something trapped in my body. Some kind of evil virus that's turning me homosexual. I bet I have a black gear stuck in my back. Yes, that's it.
I wanted the minutes to slow down, as we got closer and closer to Takerus room. Yet at the same time I wanted to be in there, with Matt. God I was selfish, I was there to see Takeru not Matt. Matt just happened to be there. We were outside his room. My stomach was overflowing with butterflies. Why was I feeling like this? Nothing made sense.
We walked into the room.
"Hi Matt!" Takeru said cheerfully. God he was brave. He was in the hospital with terrible injuries, and he was still cheery as he was when he was just a child. I looked over at Matt. He was gorgeous. His long luscious dirty-blonde hair was shaggy and uncombed. His beautiful blue eyes were full of worry, God he had such compassion for his brother. He had five o'clock shadow, which for some reason just added perfection to his face. Seeing him just made me even more confused.
He looked at me with cold eyes. I looked at him. Neither of us spoke.
"So! How are things going?" Kari said, breaking the silence.
"Um, I'm going to go get some coffee..." Matt said walking out of the room.
"Wait Matt!" Kari called after him. Matt continued walking. I guess that's what I get for what I said to him... My heart sunk as he left.
"Tai, what's wrong with you too?" Takeru asked.
"Nothing, I guess he's just-" Kari cut me off.
"No Tai, it isn't nothing. He went to your house one day, and came home the next without saying anything. Ever since then you've been acting weird. Somethings wrong".
"Kari, you don't understand. Not only that, but it's none of your concern. I'm here for Takeru, not to discuss my personal life". I looked around, I wasn't there for Takeru. I wasn't making anything better. I was just worrying him.
"Look I'm sorry, but I've got to go" I said walking out of the room. No one rushed after me. It was better if I left.
I walked down the hallway. I walked down the stairs slowly. In the front of the hospital there were children gathered. It appears it was some sort of story time going on. A man holding a book sat on a chair in front of the children.
"Congratulations! Today is your day. You're off to Great Places! You're off and away!" he read to them. I knew that book, "Oh! The Places You'll Go" by Doctor Seuss. Kari and I were in love with Doctor Seuss when we were young.
"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go." he continued to read. Maybe it was a book intended for children, but it all made so much sense to me. I do know what I want. I wanted Matt. I wanted him so much. I needed to accept myself. I needed him to accept me.
So I'm not sure why, but with a childs book motivating me I was going to take a crazy chance. I was going to tell Matt everything. No. No, no. No more doubts. No saying no to my true feelings. Okay. So my goal? Find Matt, apologize to him, explain everything, and pray he feels the same way.
Maybe I didn't think that plan through, because as soon as I saw Matt walk through the door returning from picking up coffee my heart sank. I was so ready to confess my infatuation for him. I pushed myself towards him.
"Matt!" I called walking fast towards him.
"Oh... Hi" he said unimpressed.
"Listen, Matt. Can I talk to you?".
"I'd prefer if you didn't" he said coldly.
"Matt, I need to talk to you" I said, praying he would talk.
"I'm sorry for everything I've done for you. I know you hate me. I'll leave you alone" he said without emotion.
"No Matt... Please let's just talk about this" I was close to tears, I hadn't planned on getting so worked up.
"Okay Tai. Let's go for a walk" he said. I was so happy, he actually accepted. We walked down the street in silence. I had no idea what to say. "Okay Tai, if we're just going to walk around in silence I'm going to leave" his words stung.
"No Matt listen... I don't hate you".
"Okay, now that we've established that you don't hate me I'm going now". I couldn't let him leave, I had to tell him everything.
"Don't leave" I begged.
"Tai, you were a complete asshole to me. I'm just going to stay the fuck out of your life. Being friends with you would go nowhere" ouch.
"Matt, I love you. Whenever I'm with you I get this wonderful feeling. I only yelled at you because I'm scared of admitting my feelings to myself, let alone anyone else. When you kissed me everything felt right... I think you're a beautiful person. I'll understand if you still hate me but I needed to tell you that..." the words flew out, as much as I tried to hold them in.
…...
