Casting
The WatchMaiden (or Narrator) - Terra

House of the Masked Montagues:
Lord Montague: Batman
Lady Montague: Cat Woman
Romeo Montague: Robin
Benvolio Montague: Speedy

House of the Capulets of Craft:
Lord Capulet: Trigon
Lady Capulet: Arella
Juliet Capulet: Raven
Tybalt Capulet: Gizmo
Helena Capulet: Jinx

Others:
Nurse to Juliet: Starfire
Friar Lawrence: Cyborg
Mercutio: Beast Boy
Paris: Aqua Lad
Princess Wonder Woman: Herself... in her dreams
Apothecary: Poison Ivy

Chapter Seven
By the Infamous Azure Couch

Juliet floated above the ground in her main chambers as she meditated. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos. . . Azarath Metrion Zinthos. . ." She repeated in her trance. Even though she was meditating, she couldn't help but feel restless knowing that her Nurse was a key element of her immediate future. What is that idiotic nurse doing? I hope she's not flying into Magnolia trees, oaks, houses, ferns . . And Azar forbid! into Romeo. Worry said in Juliet's mind as she, well, worried.

You know you want to 'run' into him, right, Juliet? Flirtatious asked suggestively as little-by-little Juliet's emotions were getting out of hand.

" 'Scuse me?" Juliet raised her eyebrow in inquisition, but Flirtatious only gave her a knowing look, refusing to answer her inquiry.

Thinking once again about her Nurse, the clueless creature that she was, Juliet began to worry once more. However, she recovered from her fretting with a humorous thought. "Oh, she's so slow! And she's not fast at flying, either," Juliet said with a wry smile.

Did I detect some sort of double meaning there, Juliet? Sarcasm stated more than asked.

"Would you all just shut up already and let me concentrate on my, um. . . fianc–future. . . I mean. . . uh, yeah." Juliet began to stutter over her words as she thought of her Ro— er, uh, I mean her potential marriage.

What was that, Juliet? What exactly are you trying to say? Obnoxious said with an amused smirk.

"Drop it." Juliet told them flatly. In response, all the emotions quieted as they heard a rather clumsy entrance. Furniture crashed, smashed, boomed, and banged into each other. It was none other than the non-eyebrowed Nurse! Well, you know the one.

Helloooooo Nurse! Obnoxious exclaimed in a most cartoony fashion.

"Be quiet!" Juliet said in absolute annoyance as the Nurse walked into the room.

"But I hath not said-eth anything, yet." The Nurse said in utter confusion.

"You just did." Juliet said under her breath with heavy sarcasm.

"Oh, never mind. I'm tired. Go away! Oh, no, you can come. Well, leave me be for now, my 'hot' mistress. But, on second thought, you can– oh, what's that word again? Filet? Stray? Cliché? Par-tay? Oh, whatever." The Nurse patted the infamous azure couch that decorated her mistress's chambers, indicating for her to sit next to her. "Just get on the couch." She finally said in defeat.

Juliet hesitated to sit next to her. She might not have the best fashion taste as her mother could attest to, but even she could tell the Nurse clashed with what she was sitting on. "You do know your colorous skin clashes with that couch? Orange and blue just doesn't work. If only my dad knew that. Ugh, I wish my mom would pick out his loincloths. . ."

Eventually, Juliet sat on the couch and tried not to look at the obvious contrasting of color between the Nurse and the couch. "Oh, my aching bones!" The Nurse sighed and started complaining. "I have been flying into magnolia trees all day. . ." She said to confirm Juliet's fears.

"Oh, dear Nurse. Pray tell me, what did my Romeo say to thee?" Juliet asked in eager expectation, although she'd never admit to it. When the Nurse did not answer Juliet, she started to urge the Nurse to speak. "C'mon, Nurse. I beg you, please, to speak! I need to know." She said in frustration.

"Sweet Throknar! You are in such a hurry. Can you not see I am out of breadth?" The Nurse mispronounced as she caught her 'breath'.

"How can you be out of breath when you have enough breath to tell me you are out of breath?" Juliet challenged, but it fell on deaf ears. The Nurse still was breathing in and out (although rather easily adding to Juliet's frustration) and she did not answer still. "So, is thy message good or bad? Answer the question!" Juliet demanded as she was getting fed up with the Nurse. "Tell me if it's good or bad and I'll wait for you to catch your breath to fill in the details."

"Well, to start," the Nurse started with a voice that could match an average teenage girl's, "his face is handsome, but not as much as his legs." She said to her mistress's confusion and Juliet wondered for a moment what exactly the Nurse had seen. However, she soon abandoned the thought since she decided she didn't want to know the answer to that question. "And as for his hands, feet, and body; they are most glorious."

"You do realize this is my potential finacé, do you not?" Juliet said after she gave a low growl. "Now, what about his answer?"

"He was not the most polite man in the world, but he's as gentle as a ram." The Nurse said instead of 'lamb', which only added to Juliet's confusion. "Well, that's it. Hast thou eaten thy midday meal, yet?" Juliet sat there in absolute speechlessness. She couldn't believe the incompetence of her Nurse. Well, maybe she could, but it seemed to be at a whole new level of stupidity.

"The news, Nurse! What about the news?" Juliet nearly yelled at the Nurse in suspense.

"The five o'clock news is not on, yet." She answered in a almost-logical manner. However, it was only infuriating Juliet more.

Juliet breathed in and out deeply as she tried to calm down before she burst a blood vessel and bled to death before her prospective wedding. "Azarath Metrion Zinthos. . ." She chanted several times more. "Now, what doth Romeo say about marriage? What about that?" She asked after she had cooled down dramatically.

"Well, if that's what you wanted, thou shouldth said so earlier!" The Nurse said cheerfully. "You see, Lord Capulet told Lady Capulet that—" The confused Nurse began only to be cut off by Juliet.

"I doth not care what idle chatter my parents have!" Juliet said almost cross, although the Nurse did not notice. "Now, what did my love Romeo say?"

"Oh, silly me! Your lover says," Juliet blushed because her Nurse used the wrong term. She quickly recovered, though, "like an honorable gentlewoman, who is kind, handsome, and quite loveable, I dare say— Where is your mother?" The Nurse asked as, once again, her attention span had reached its limit.

"Where is my mother?" Juliet asked her as she sweatdropped. "Well, she's sharpening her thorn maze as she loves to do in her pastime. Where else would she be? Your answer is as strange as always, I suppose. . ." Juliet offered and tried not to allow Rage to step out of its boundary. " 'Your lover says like an honorable gentlewoman— I mean, gentleman, 'Where is your mother?' "

"X-hal! You are not making the sense, my hot mistress." The Nurse said once more.

"That is so not right when you say it." Juliet couldn't help but murmur under her breath. "So, now, what did Romeo say?"

"Do you have the admission to go out and take confession today?" The Nurse asked, using the wrong word. . . again.

"Um, yeah. I'm a big girl. I can go to the Church by myself and everything." Juliet said with fake enthusiasm, clearly mocking the Nurse. It was evident to everyone. Well, everyone but the Nurse, of course.

"Then hurry up and rush over to Fired Lawrence's cell." The Nurse said, accidentally thinking that the Friar was 'fired'. But lo and behold! As hard as it is to imagine the Nurse processing any neurological movement, it had happened. "There's a husband there who's waiting to make you his strife." Well, maybe her brain couldn't handle the strenuous task of putting together a logical sentence. Almost saying something intelligent for once, the Nurse displaced the word for 'wife'. "Now, go to the Church's Chicken. I know not what reason you would want to meet at a fast food restaurant with your beloved. . . I must go a different path to get a rope's ladder. Why a rope needs a ladder, I do not know. However, your lover," she said the word casually, making Juliet look down in discomfort, "will use it when it is dark to approach your window." The words, now verbalized, made Juliet blush from embarrassment. The Nurse did not notice, however. "I'll go for my lunch break, now. You go to Fired Lawrence's cell." The Nurse paused for a moment before adding, "I wonder why they put that man in prison. . ."

—Fin—

A/N: Um, there were some unnecessary parts in this chapter that I edited out. I also thought it was funnier if I stopped here. Whaddya think? I also edited the next chapter and then will try to write more on chapter nine. MeLo-Chan and I haven't gotten together in a while to write more, but I'll see what I can come up with. Review please!

Signed,
Her Sappiness