A/N: I am not one for long introductory notes. But I would like to apologize for the delay in getting this up, my internet was spotty yesterday, so this is a day late. Hopefully now these chapters will come faster because I can base what happens to Eowyn in sequence with important events in the book, which means more of JRRTolkin's brilliance and less of mine (which is a very good thing).
A/N: I am still not JRRTolkin. All credit for this world goes to him and him alone.
The night deepened, and the slight breeze from the windows was chilling. Faramir had gone to find blankets from his adjourning bedroom, and Eowyn shivered as his warmth slowly left the chair. "There are some things I can't say out loud," she told the night sky. "What will happen when I come to them? This is coming out too fast. I was going to have more time to plan out what I wanted to say. And what will happen when I'm done? Will he realize he made a mistake and… Maybe Eomer was right and I should have kept family stories between family." Shivering again, this time not from the chill, Eowyn curled in on herself.
"Eowyn?" Eowyn heard Faramir walk across the chamber, and stop a little bit before the chair. "Is this too much for one night? Do you wish to stop now?
"Will you still read my mind if we marry?" Eowyn asked looking up at Faramir.
"If? Do you doubt we will marry? I think we can persuade Eomer to…" Faramir trailed off and looked closely at Eowyn's face. "You doubt my affections? Eowyn!"
She put her hands over her ears. "Don't. Don't swear love to me. You don't know everything. I can't tell you everything. Not after a thousand nights."
"Then I will wait for the thousandth and first if I have to. But I don't see why I cannot profess love! I do love you Eowyn."
"You haven't heard the whole story! You cannot make a true judgment until you know everything. Maybe not speaking out wasn't my fault, but there were other instances that I was to blame for."
"I doubt that. But you shouldn't feel obligated to tell me your story. The reason I told you parts of mine was because I wanted to be able to talk to you about anything. I do not need to hear your story to love you. The more I hear the more I understand you, which is a blessing to some one who loves you so. But say only what you want to, or need to. I will not love you less for being unable to speak about everything. There are scares that we both have that only time will mend, and will hopefully only sting in the future."
Eowyn was silent, considering his words. Faramir gently wrapped the blanket around her shoulders. "May I sit?" he asked. "Do you want to continue tonight?"
"I do. But I do not think that you should swear undying love until you know as much as I can tell you." She looked up at him. "Sit, please," she said. "Your presence comforts me." She admitted softly.
"As yours does me." He said kissing her hair. They sat silent for a moment, and then Faramir asked, "What did you do to protect the women of your house from Grima?"
Eowyn smiled bitterly. "Most people said that I did nothing and that I let him and his guards abuse them one by one."
"We both know that as vulnerable as you and they were, you would never let that happen with out doing some thing." Faramir responded.
Eowyn sighed. "I could only protect them at nights. Their quarters were undefended, and when a woman didn't come in for the night it was assumed that she was off with a man. Until Wormtongue came I would swear that all of the nighttime companionship was willing, but after he came there was no way to tell. I suggested that they move their pallets into my room. Because Wormtongue was only going after the women who were directly connected to me, I had more than enough space for them."
"Did it work?" Faramir queried.
"Sometimes. Not always. Sometimes he still got to them, but it was less often after that, and usually during the day. I was caring for my uncle almost all the time, which put me directly in Wormtongue's path daily. He tried to make serving my uncle into a living hell, in an attempt to make me leave my uncle's side, I think. Anything that I messed up, any flash of spirit and at least one of my women would come into my room bruised." Eowyn bit her lip.
"I don't think he knew that the women were staying in my room though, at least not at first. There was this week that summer where I woke up to find a rose on my bedside table. When I asked the women about it, they said that they had not placed it there, nor had they heard anyone come in to my room at night. My room was such that my bed was closest to the door, and the women slept on the other side of the bed, probably almost invisible at night. The next day there was a second rose and a note professing an anonymous person's desire to court me. The note was well written, but I was uncomfortable because to deal in secret was not the way of the Rohirrim. I threw both the flowers out and burned the note.
"The next day there was a necklace, which I gave to one of the needier families at Edoras. The next day I was missing a blanket from my bed. I was scared of this, and I asked one of the guards who watched over my uncle to come and guard my room. Wormtongue heard me and told the guard that he should not listen to the silly worries of a woman, but should do his duty to the king. When we were alone Wormtongue told me that I was thoughtless to desire to leave the King unprotected because I was scared of the dark. However, he offered to come and guard my room if I needed it.
"I declined. Vehemently. But that morning one of the girls in my room woke up and… oh Faramir. He was in my room! She called out, and I woke up in time to see him slink away, but… oh Faramir. He had left me those presents and took my sheet and –Faramir when she woke me he was standing over my bed looking down at me!" Eowyn was shaking. Faramir wordlessly held her close.
"Eowyn I-" Faramir began, but was cut off by Eowyn.
"Don't." She said fiercely. "Don't tell me it will be alright. I got a lock on my door the next day – the first and only bedroom door in Meduseld that had a lock on it was mine. I cannot sleep with out my room locked. I barely slept from the muster at Dunharrow to the gates of Gondor because I was too afraid that some one would come in
"Wormtongue pulled me aside the next day. 'How could you possibly put a lock on your door? What if the King needs you at night? How could to be so selfish to lock yourself away from the world?'
"I couldn't speak. Faramir, I was tired of getting bruises from him, visible or not. Wormtongue dragged me in front of the King and demanded that I remove the bolt from my door.
"'Why is there a bolt on your door, Sister-daughter?' Uncle asked, he was so tired, worn out by the simplest activities. But he still insisted on meeting with his advisors regularly. Wormtongue had gathered them to show off my foolishness.
"'I do not feel safe at nights, Uncle. There has been… some one has been in my room.' I willed uncle to listen to me, but of course Wormtongue stepped in.
"'Where is the proof that some one has been in your rooms? Surly, my Lord-King, you must recognize this as a child's fancy. Do not allow her to inconvenience you in such a way!'
"'You are too hasty to dismiss her, Grima.' Aldwin, the oldest advisors said. 'Lady Eowyn is not known to have flights of fear.'
"'Is there any proof that this has happened?' My Uncle asked.
"'My lord, I was given two roses and a note, which I burned, and a necklace, which I gave to those who need it. But the day before yesterday I woke and found a favorite blanket missing.' I whispered. 'I only can give you my word that this is so.'
"'And what exactly is that worth? The word of a woman?' Wormtongue simpered. 'My lord, she is obviously lying to gain attention, do not let her do so. She is at a willful age, you must show her you do not put up with womanly nonsense.'
"'That's not all!' I gasped. 'Yesterday one of my women woke up to see a man standing over my bed!'
"The advisors were upset, uncle was furious. 'What man was inside your room? Did she identify him?' He asked.
"'My lord,' Wormtongue cut in. 'I think a better question would be why the women were sleeping in her room. It is most improper.'
"'They sleep there because they do not feel safe, because some one, probably the same man, has been attacking them night after night!' I cried.
"'That is absurd. No one attacks women in Edoras, the punishment is banishment!' Wormtongue crowed. 'So these women pretend to be abused in order to be able to sleep in the royal chambers. And now a woman, who has already lied to get in, has probably lied again to be able to keep sleeping in luxury. '
"The advisors looked thoughtful, I couldn't tell if they were on my side or not. I had to end this before I lost whatever fragile protection I had made. 'Uncle,' I said desperately. 'My life is yours. If you need me, ever, at any hour, all you have to do is send a guard to knock at my door and I will come to you. I will not give up my honor to serve you. Uncle, I am your family yes?' Uncle nodded. 'And I am a princess of the Riddermark?' It felt strange to pull my rank, but Uncle nodded again. 'As such I have rights to keep my chamber how I will as long as it does not harm any man, woman or child?' Uncle nodded a third time, Wormtongue was straining to cut in, so I asked 'Then may I please keep a lock on my door, with the knowledge that I will not shut myself away from my duty to you, and as it harms no one?'
"'That sounds like a reasonable request, Sister-daughter.' Uncle said at last. I knelt before him in thanks.
"'Shall I go get your food ready for the midday?' I asked. He nodded vacantly, and I walked out of the room. When I reached the door I turned and said 'Women of Rohan do not lie. And I have told you already to stay away from my women.' And with that I left.
"By the end of the evening there were only two advisors for the King, Aldwin and Wormtongue. Most of my women were bruised when they came in to my chambers that night, and the weeks following was much the same.
"Eomer, Theodred and Theoden King were born within the same week during the summer, and there used to be one big celebration for the three of them. Eomer and Theodred always came home for that week. Uncle's birth day was the first of the three, and so Theodred, Eomer and I went to his chambers on that day. Wormtongue was there, of course, but Theodred and Eomer took no notice of him.
"Uncle had forgotten that it was his birthday, and was distressed because he had no presents to give his sons during the week. Wormtongue said 'Surely these men do not expect presents as they did when they were children. They must think highly of themselves if they expect a sick, weary King to use his precious strength and time to find gifts for them.'
"My father,' Theodred said kneeling. 'I have never expected any such thing, as well you know. Your interest in my cousins and me is enough of a gift to last a lifetime. I hope that I do not seem too frivolous if I offer you a gift. Consider it a token from your humblest of subjects.' He gave Uncle a horn, saying 'May all your charges lead to victory and glory!'
"Eomer was shaking with rage at Wormtongue's words, but he too knelt and gave Uncle a staff. Eomer used to whittle, and he must have spent long hours on the short staff to make it so perfectly smooth. He gave it, saying 'May your road to recovery be as short and smooth, and may you cast this aside sooner than you hope!'
"I made a green cloak. Uncle was often cold, and I wrapped it around him saying, 'May you never feel a cold bite of the wind when you ride.'
"Uncle was overwhelmed, and Wormtongue forced us from the room. Eomer stalked away, he was ashamed to look at me. 'How could you let him gain so much control here? How could the King be so sick if you were really looking after him?' Eomer hissed.
"I was too tired to defend myself anymore. I was not sleeping well, even with locked doors. Once during the day I forgot to lock my room and returned to it in the evening to find the bed thrown apart, the women's pallets ripped up, and two of my white dresses were slashed beyond recognition. Fortunately I had a few others that were being washed, and the one I was wearing was in good shape. We figured out a way to bring in new pallets for the women with out any one noticing, and my bed wasn't too destroyed... I never left the room unlocked after that. One key I kept on my person, the other I hid in the women's chamber so that my women could get in to my room if they ever needed to hide.
"Theodred saw the circles under my eyes, and the tears hidden behind them as Eomer walked away again. 'He's scared, and angry.' Theodred said. 'He forgets that you are not a man, however easy it is to pretend you are another brother. He forgets how hard it is to influence people if you have little or no power. It was no excuse for him to act as he did, but you know how he gets. Truthfully, I am scared too. I know you are taking the best care of my father, but seeing him so weak reminds me that I am next, whether or not I am ready. I pray that I never have to rule – I do not think I would be good at it.' And he tousled my hair and walked after Eomer.
"We exchanged gifts four days later, and in secret, feeling that Uncle would be upset that he forgot. It was Eomer's birthday, Theodred's had been the day before. I gave Eomer and Theodred cloaks, like the one that I gave Uncle. They gave each other knives and then went down to the kitchens to drink in celebration.
"They were sent out the next day, and it wasn't until the fall that I saw either of them again.
"Uncle began to use his staff as a crutch, and wore his cloak indoors, even though the summer was hot. His hair grayed prematurely, and his skin took on a sickly sallow color of an old man's. I felt that he was slipping away, and that each day I was failing Theodred, who seemed to be the only member of my family who still cared for me."
