Logan:
I couldn't tell her now. I couldn't tell her about the tour. I just couldn't. What kind of boyfriend would I be if I did? All of this is already on her back. She doesn't need more.
But on the bright side, I met her parents. They were in a hospital bed but I guess it still counts. Oh, who was I kidding? There was no bright side to this. Geez, I was going to cry in there. She was so torn. I slam my head on the wall, frustrated.
"Dude, calm down. It's alright." Kendall nudges me.
"You're kidding, right? We're stand in a hospital. Want me to tell you why? Oh yeah, my girlfriend's parents are in a hospital. And you're telling me to calm down?"
"Sorry, man." He whispers, quietly. "I know how this impacts you too. Everyone is hurting."
I shook my head. I was hurting people because I was hurt. "Forget it."
Caitlin enters the lobby, giving a silent thank you to the lady at the front desk. The lady with the nametag 'Cassie' gives her a sad smile and nod as Caitlin makes her way over to us.
"How are you doing?" Katelyn whispers to her.
Caitlin shrugs and doesn't look up from the ground. She mutters a quiet "I don't know" and we all leave it there. I wouldn't be in a talking mood either.
"C'mon. Let's get you home." I say, wrapping my arms around her.
She follows us into the car and we all sit for a moment in the car. I made no gesture to turn the car keys.
"Caitlin, we're here for you, okay?" James says, looking at Caitlin in the review mirror. "We'll be here for you thick and thin."
She nods and looks in the mirror and laughs. "I look horrible." I ease her, knowing her well enough she's trying to laugh the pain away.
My cell phone buzzes from the cup holder below and I glance at it nervously as it continues ringing. All eyes are on it with the flashing words GUSTAVO and NEW TEXT on the front. Dear Lord, why now? I look at the car time and it read 11:17. I looked back up at Caitlin who was looking at me, curiosity.
"Aren't you going to get that?" She asked me.
"Get what?"
"Your phone." She replied, bluntly.
"Oh. Right." I chuckled nervously and opened the cell phone.
GUSTAVO: My bad! UR tour is in the UK.
I stared at the cell phone. Was he kidding me?
LOGAN: U do know that London is in the UK, right?
Idiot. I thought and turned off my phone. I wasn't planning on dealing with Gustavo and his crappy attitude tonight. We eventually drove out of the hospital's parking lot with Caitlin gathering her thoughts, staring out the window. We drove into her drive way when it hit 11:45.
She got out and we followed her.
"Stay strong, beautiful." Katelyn whispered into her ear, bringing her in for a hug.
"We'll get you through this." Kendall nods, hugging her.
We all crowd around her like she's the sun and we're the clouds. I wondered what the neighbors were thinking. Six kids having a group hug when it was close to midnight. When we all pulled apart, Katelyn and Caitlin were in tears.
"I don't even know why you're crying." Caitlin laughed, in between sobs.
"Cause I care about you. And it kills to see you hurting." Katelyn smiles.
"Carlos, are you crying too?" Caitlin laughs while tears stream down her face.
My eyes look at Carlos and he really is crying. I look at the ground. I couldn't bare seeing people cry. If I kept it up, I'd be crying soon enough along with them.
"No, I've got sand in my eyes." Carlos mutters, wiping his face.
Caitlin gives a slow nod while the others boarded the car. Me and Caitlin both stood, looking at each other.
"Caitlin - "
"Logan, promise you'll never leave me." Caitlin interrupted, pulling me in for a hug.
"What?" I asked, surprised. Oh, she was making this a lot easier.
"Nothing." She said, pulling away. "Goodnight, Logan." She said, giving me a slight nod. She kissed me on the cheek and waited for me to make my way to the car. I did.
"Night, Caitlin." I said, opening the car door.
I slipped into the seat and sat there for about five seconds before starting the car. It spurted to life and Caitlin waved from the door. I backed the car out of her driveway and I drove Katelyn home. She gave us sad smile as she opened the door to her flat.
Soon enough, we were home. As the hotel doors slid open, we were greeted by the silent whoosh of the doors. The lobby was empty except for some who were in their pj's and couldn't sleep. Some were reading. Some were texting. I knew there was a high chance I'd be one of these people tonight. It was a silent way up to our apartment. As the key clicked and the door opened, the familiar room lit up. James made his
way to the couch and Kendall silently walked to the window and stared out to the city lights below. Carlos leaped up on the kitchen table and sat there, drumming a beat. He always tapped his fingers when he was nervous. It made me relieved he knew what was going on at this point.
"How do I tell her?" I asked, breaking the silence.
"About what?" James said, muffling his voice by stuffing his face into the couch.
"The tour. She has a lot on her hands."
"Honestly? I don't know how I can help you." James sighed.
I thought about it for a moment until I sighed and shuffled down the hallway. I was tired. I needed sleep. I'll figure this out soon.
"I'm going to bed." I mutter, not expecting or wanting a reply. Kendall gives me a nod, still looking out the window, hearing the horns and honks of passing cars. Carlos continues drumming his fingers as James gets up and opens the fridge. I'm not hungry. I'm sick to the bone.
I kick off my shoes and jeans and slip on a old Kings Of Leon T-shirt before shutting off the lights. I lay my head down and stare at the ceiling. From the dim lights of the city lights outside my window, a photo of me and Caitlin catch my eye. She sat on my lap, head tossed back. She's smiling. Laughing at something I had said. Her hair was blowing in the wind, her eyes still known to be bright under her sunglasses. I was looking at her, grinning in my purple fitted cap and wearing sunglasses myself. It made me wondered if we'd ever be like that again.
Photos were a big part of my life. They caught my memories. Some of my best times were recorded here. The best thing about photos is that no words are there but you get the vibe coming from it.
I shook my head from the dirty thought. Caitlin was strong. We could all do this. I sighed as tears started to brim through my eyes. Because well, Katelyn was right. Caitlin was important to us. And it killed me. It killed every part of me to know she was hurting.
I heard a shuffle of feet and a few tired sighs from the room next to mine - James. A few moments later, I heard Carlos' door close. Kendall was still in the living room. I heard him turn on the coffee machine. I ignored the sound and tried to go to sleep.
But the truth was, nobody was sleeping tonight.
