(I own nothing)
~Chapter Seven~
Neither of them woke until late into the next morning, when Naboo and Bollo realized that their morning employees (Howard and Vince) had neglected to show up.
"What the hell do you think you two piss-offs are doin,' still in bed?" The shaman reprimanded from the door. "And what the hell are you doin' in the same bed?" He asked, watching their reactions. Vince looked as if he hadn't heard; he'd brought his pocket mirror out and was working on making himself look presentable. Howard, however, looked rather ruffled, his cheeks burning bright red.
"Er, um, what do you mean? Why wouldn't we? We've shared a bed many times. Often, actually. We do often. I mean, why wouldn't we?"
"Hmmm... well, there'd better not be anything funny goin' on at all, you know? If I fink you're doin' anyfing inappropriate to him, I have Bollo rip your arms off," The shaman told him, giving him a warning look that was just serious enough to let Howard know that he meant business.
"Um, excuse me, sir, but I'm not going to be doing anything to him that he doesn't want-"
"And what does that mean?" Naboo demanded, glaring at Howard with eyes narrow enough to rival Howard's own tiny peepers.
"It means," Vince said, finally stepping in to the aid of a fairly flustered Howard, "That if he's touchin' me at all, I'll be the one advocatin' it. Yeah?"
"Well, it took you fools long enough," Bollo grunted.
"Oh? And what exactly is that supposed to mean?" Howard demanded.
"Only vat it's been pretty obvious since season one that you tow have just been itchin' to 'ave a go wiv each other. A bit annoyin,' really. Fought you'd 'ave figured it out by now, but apparently you two dimwits are too stupid to see that. Meanwhile, Bollo and I 'ave 'ad to put up wiv your flirtin' for the last four years. So it's abut time you fools get on wiv it." Vince and Howard were speechless. Their first instinct, of course, was to argue, but were left silent when they were unable to think of any adequate arguments. "Now if you'll excuse us, it's gettin' pretty disgustingly sweet in here, you two hangin all over each over like vat. I'm gettin outta here before I'm sick all over myself. You comin, Bollo?" The gorilla nodded, grunting in agreement and following the small shaman into their own shared bedroom, leaving Vince and Howard clinging to each other in silenc.
"... Fair dues," Howard finally admitted. Naboo did have a point there.
"That's not exactly how I want to be woken up every morning," Vince yawned, stretching his long, thin limbs. "Although..." He fell silent.
"What is it, little man?" Howard asked, instantly concerned. "Everything alright?"
"Actually, it is alright," Vince said, smiling widely at him. "I was just finkin' how I don't mind at all, wakin' up next to you like this." Howard wasn't sure what to say.
"Get down here, you lazy berks!" Naboo's voice cut into the silence once again. They scrambled to obey him; ignoring Naboo could have some dire consequences.
"Howard," Vince whined, forehead now wrinkled in concern. "What do you fink Leroy and all me other mates are goin' to say?" Howard felt his heart sink. He had been worried that this might be a problem.
"About us being together?" Vince nodded. "Well, you're not exactly the straightest person, yeah? I mean, you must have been with other blokes, right?" Howard didn't like to think about it, but knew that it was a fact of life that Vince had more experience than he did.
"Well, yeah. That's not the thing. I mean, Leroy and I had a fing for a while." Howard ignored the twinge of jealousy and instant dislike for the other man.
"Well then, what's the problem?"
"Look, Howard, don't be offended, but it's... you. I mean, you're my tall, creepy jazz freak friend. What do you fink they'll say about vat?" Howard would have been offended, if he hadn't known that he meant it as nicely as possible.
"Well... I don't know them very well, but does it really matter what they think about it?"
"Well, no... but I can't help but worry about it, you know? I mean, what am I supposed to do about parties and the like now that we're more or less together?" Howard sighed. Leave it to Vince to be overly concerned about his parties and social life.
"Well, Vince, considering that I don't want to go to most of the parties you like to go to, I don't think that will be too much of a problem. I'm not going to stop you from doing things that you love, and I know how much you enjoy dancing and partying... It'll work out well, though, because while you go out and party into the early hours, I can have a nice quiet night, by myself or with Lester, and I can listen to jazz or something like that. Yeah? Maybe don't go out every night, spend some time with me every now and then..." He didn't want to come across as sounding needy or clingy, but at the same time, he wanted Vince to know that he wanted to spend time with him.
"Well, yeah, you berk. You fink I'm gonna wanna be away from you all the time? And if you really really want to... nah, you wouldn't want to do vat." He shook his head, smiling knowingly.
"What?" Howard demanded.
"Well... you don't like to go out and about, but if you wanna get outta the shop for a bit tonight, there's a brand new jazz club opening down the street from the velvet onion... fought you might want to check it out wiv me?" Howard was speechless. Was Vince actually asking him on a date? And to a jazz club, nonetheless? "'Ello? Are you just goin to stare at me, or do you wanna go?"
"Sorry! Yes! Of course I'll go with you!" Howard blurted. "When? I mean, what time? You already said tonight. I'll have to, um, check my calendar, but I think I'm free tonight." Vince laughed at Howard's discomfort and eagerness.
"Aright, then. Let's go tonight... I fink Naboo and Bollo are goin' to be havin' a big shaman meeting here tonight anyway, and you know how those go." Indeed Howard did. Some things were better left unsaid and unmentioned. "Somefin' about givin' Naboo back his powers... guess he had them suspended." That could explain a lot... Howard had some things to talk about with Naboo later. "So... what about around five or so?" Howard nodded, a little too quickly.
"Oh, customer," Howard observed, straightening his jacket self-consciously. Vince grinned, gently tugging on the collar of Howard's jacket, pulling him down to his level and kissing him quickly on the cheek, leaving him flushed.
"I'm going to nip upstairs, forgot my topshop tie! Can't believe it; I just got that one yesterday. It's genius; have you seen it yet?" Howard shook his head. "But you can handle this here, yeah? Just hold out 'till I get back?" He winked, and Howard, still slightly in shock from the sudden display of affection, didn't respond other than to stare blankly at the little man.
"Excuse me, sir? I need to buy this, please." Howard smiled, again straightening his jacket (this time with no Vince there to mess it up). Of course he could handle this! He was Howard Moon!
A/N: so I realize that this chapter is somewhat shorter than the rest, but the next one will be much longer- and it will be the last chapter! I know, it's sad... but I might do another Mighty Boosh one, although probably after I've finished one of my Yu-Gi-Oh! ones.
Let me know what you think! remember, reviews will earn you my undying love (unless you're mean...). so review! :)
*as always, many thanks to soundofmadness223*
~alex~
