The week following the Quidditch match also happened to be the week before Peter's 18th birthday. Although he was technically already of age in the wizarding world, in the muggle world 18 is a big birthday, so everyone had decided to pull out all the stops for a huge party. The difficulty was, however, that an atmosphere of extreme awkwardness had fallen over the Gryffindor seventh years. Sirius and Marlene were spending every waking moment trying to hide the fact that they were secretly meeting up whenever they could, despite the fact that every single person in Hogwarts, Dumbledore included, knew they were seeing one another. Lily was struggling to make eye contact with James after the face paint debacle, while also desperately wanting to be near him. James had no idea what was going on, as he was still unaware Lily didn't know she had his name and number all over her face at the game, and was very confused as to why she was suddenly acting so strangely. Remus and Ella were constantly surrounded by a cloud of awkwardness anyway, but the increased tension seemed to heighten their uneasiness too. The only people not feeling the awkwardness were Lucy and Peter, but that was because a) Lucy was otherwise occupied with… "homework", and b) Peter was spending all his time and effort trying to plan his party to be so spectacular that Lucy would consider letting him be "homework."


It was late, and both the Head Student dorms were full of Gryffindor seventh years. Lily was lounging on her bed with half of the marauders (Sirius and Peter) and Lucy, who was taking a rare study break, although Lily was not so easily fooled ("You're such a hard worker Luce, we should all be aiming for the sky-high academic precedent you set"). Peter was talking animatedly about the party he was planning, but Lucy - the main focus of his monologue - wasn't really listening, instead she was enraptured by the newest edition of Witch Weekly, pausing every once in awhile to contribute a "hmmm" or "yeah". Sirius however, ever the loyal friend, was listening carefully, and contributing ideas. After a while, the conversation turned to those absent from Lily's room.

"So what about it Sirius? You and Marlene?" Lily nudged her housemate and he blushed, a very bizarre sight for the normally confident Sirius. He sat up from his position lying on the bed with his head in Lily's lap to turn and look at her, scandalised.

"What on earth are you talking about ginge? Nothing's happened between me and Marlene since the Quidditch match, and if you remember, we were all tremendously drunk. That's it. And anyway, even if something were to happen, it would be a complete disaster, she's not even my type- i mean, over summer obviously she… and only an idiot would say they hadn't taken notice… and obviously she deserves so much better than Dickby, but me? I'd be a pants boyfriend and you know it ginge. No. she's great, amazing really, but-" Sirius paused to collect himself. "No. Don't be thick." His usual casual confidence returned and he changed the subject quickly.

"What about you though red? You seemed very chummy with Prongs this weekend, even painting his name and jersey number on that pretty freckled face of yours." Now it was Lily's turn to blush. Lucy, who had been mysteriously missing the day of the match, looked up from her magazine finally, visibly shocked.

"You did what?" She sat up and, in doing so, pushed Witch Weekly onto the floor. There was no distracting her now.

"Okay let's all calm down. Sirius' girlfriend was the one who vandalised my face, and if you must know, I didn't even realise it was there until I washed it off before bed." Sirius suddenly looked very… well, serious.

"Don't you dare tell him that! He's been walking on air for the last three days, he even let me use his room for… a meeting, and he's bringing all of us food from the kitchen every night. Absolutely no one," he pointed individually at the others lounging on Lily's bed, "will tell Prongs. Understood?"


James himself was having a very strange evening. He, Remus and Marlene were all also lying on a bed, but they were all in a very different state, having nearly finished an entire bottle of firewhiskey between the three of them, leading to a mess of limbs and a lot of giggling and incoherent speech. The topic of conversation however, was very similar to that of the others.

"The problem is," started Remus, "that you can meet someone absolutely perfect… someone… someone funny and smart and … and kind, and the timing can just be so wrong."

"God Lupin you turn into such a romantic when you're drunk," replied Marlene, her speech slurred and muffled by her position, lying with her head nestled in James' armpit. She sat up and looked at him, her hair stuck to her cheek, slightly covering her eyes. "Plus, sometimes the timing is perfect, the person is… alright, and it still doesn't happen properly. That's tragic." James leaned over and brushed the hair out of her face, and smiled drunkenly.

"And how properly exactly should it happen, if it happens properly?" He knew he wasn't making much sense, but Marlene understood perfectly.

"Well you should just be able to be, not thinking about other things, just each other, and you shouldn't have to worry about what your friends think, or your exes, or anyone." She suddenly looked very sad. "It shouldn't be complicated." James laughed bitterly.

"You're telling me, blondie. At least you and Sirius know where you stand, even if you are the worst kept secret in the entire wizarding world" ("I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer Potter") "Sometimes someone can be so open with you one day, even paint your name all over their face - metaphorically obviously-" Remus and Marlene nodded, hiding knowing smiles. "And then they'll ignore you for days as if they can't stand you. That, my friends, is tragic."

"So basically, friends, we are all completely tragic romantics."

"Pretty much."

"We're pathetic."


Much later, when Sirius returned to the Head Boy's room, he found his two friends and his… and Marlene, all asleep on top of one another, one of them snoring gently (although he could not tell who) (It was Marlene), and suddenly his heart lurched. She fit so well into his life it scared him. He was sure that if they walked into the great hall for breakfast holding hands no one would bat an eyelid, but he knew things weren't that simple. He couldn't let this… thing… with Marlene become a thing. He was possibly the best known "blood traitor" in the wizarding world, and Marlene was muggleborn, she was in enough danger as it was without being linked to him. He couldn't stand putting a target on her back. He cared for her too much for that. He… shit. He loved her too much for that.

"Oh dear, padfoot, your girlfriend seems to have partaken in some kind of scandalous three-way in our absence, sorry pal." Peter awoke him from his reverie. One of the three bodies on the bed stirred but quickly settled again.

"She's not my girlfriend, wormtail. She'll never be my girlfriend." His voice came out much more harsh than he'd meant it to, but decided it was best. He couldn't put her at risk.

"Oh really? And what exactly have you been doing with her up to this point then? All those nights and free periods in the broom closet outside the library?" Peter smirked to himself as he got ready for bed. Sirius braced himself.

"Just fun, you know me. Give me two weeks and I'll be onto someone new." He felt sick. Peter looked sceptical but they both changed in silence and within five minutes they lay in darkness, Sirius completely unable to fall asleep. On the bed, Marlene lay still, a lone tear escaping her eyes and landing on Remus' chest.

By the time the Marauders awoke Marlene was gone.


"Why is it none of the girls I sleep with ever stay the night?" Remus joked. Sirius was stony-faced and silent. His mind was made up.

The boys walked into the great hall, Remus and James somewhat worse for wear, listening to Peter's continuous party plans. Sirius still hadn't said a word. He stared at his plate in silence. After a while, Remus looked up.

"Okay Marlene this isn't fair, you're not allowed to look that fantastic when I feel this awful. Honestly, would it kill you not to look like a goddess all the time?!" Remus faked outrage and Marlene smiled modestly, but it did not reach her eyes. He was right of course, she'd spent longer than she would ever admit making sure she looked absolutely fantastic. Her makeup was flawless, her hair looked naturally perfect (but of course it took her a long time and a lot of product to make it so) and her uniform was slightly tighter than it had been two hours before, thanks to a cheeky charm Lucy had taught her. As far as she was concerned, Sirius Black could eat his heart out, he would never again get close enough to her to smell her delicious - and very expensive - perfume. She sat as far away from him as possible, and pretended to be enraptured by Peter's party plans. She could feel his eyes on her, but she refused to pay him any attention.

Lily had somehow ended up seated next to James, and the conversation that ensued was one of the most awkward anyone has ever experienced. James was horrendously hungover, and his concentration wasn't helped by the smell of Lily's freshly washed hair and the way the light was hitting her fiery hair. Lily herself could not help but notice how sweet and vulnerable James looked in his hungover state. These factors led to neither of them really knowing what to say, and after a few comments such as "how was your night?" "yeah marlene said" "what classes do you have today?" "oh right, me too… obviously… we do the same subjects." Just horrible.

Ella was mysteriously absent from breakfast, leaving Remus the only marauder not faced with romantic awkwardness, as Peter continued his party monologue at Lucy. She couldn't imagine what there still was to talk about to be perfectly honest, but she tried to focus on his rambling, her eyes flitting around the Great Hall, finally settling on the staff table, looking for her… boyfriend? Lover? Professor? The lines were so blurred she couldn't quite decide.

Of course she knew that technically having a relationship with a professor was wrong; frowned upon, but he awoke something in her that made her want to break every rule in the book. Besides, they'd been seeing one another since before he came to Hogwarts, which was ages ago anyway. Their relationship was established, he'd said. She'd liked the sound of that. Very adult. Very mature. She looked around the Gryffindor table, at the other students she was grouped with. None of them were nearly as mature as she was, he'd said when she spoke about them. Peter, with his sweet little crush on her, like a little boy, then James and Lily, neither willing to be the first to admit their feelings - very childish, he'd thought, and she'd agreed - and Sirius and Marlene, running around in cover of night, hiding their relationship from their friends very badly - at least Lucy was good at it. And he knew that Lucy was terribly fond of her little Gryffindor friend group, they were all very nice and funny and were always there if she needed a laugh, but be realistic, Lily was really the only one she could imagine remaining friends with after school was finished - perhaps Marlene too, but not likely, she was always just a bit wet in Lucy's opinion, wasn't she? And surely if she was friends with Lily she'd have to see Marlene, and probably eventually, once they'd stopped messing around, Potter too - who was very childish with his pranks, even if he was nice and funny - and… God, he'd bring the whole posse with him, even little Peter. No - a fresh slate would be best, they'd agreed, and although she would miss the carefree shenanigans of her school friends, would miss being a teenager, he'd promised her a future with him. He'd promised they'd run away and be together, that he had plans. She had to think of her future, not her past, he'd said. He really was very clever.


When the night of the party arrived, Lucy sat on Lily's bed putting her earrings in, and actually looking forward to the evening. She'd decided to go to Peter's little gathering - it was his birthday after all, and she enjoyed the sleepover vibe of getting ready with Lily and Marlene in the Head Girl's room - but of course she would leave early because she had homework to do. She'd put more effort into her appearance than normal - she was naturally pretty and didn't really see the point in primping herself and wearing uncomfortable clothes when wearing jeans and a quidditch T shirt to a party normally had the same effect as hours of prep did for other girls, especially on boys like Peter. She was actually wearing a dress, an understated shift with white lace, one of the only ones she owned, which she'd paired with black boots and a leather jacket, and she was actually visibly wearing makeup; only mascara and a pinkish lipstick but still, the effect was miraculous. She was almost giving Marlene a run for her money, who looked fabulous as always in a little black dress and red lip that Lucy was sure would be happily smudged by Sirius Black by the end of the night ("Not bloody likely." was Marlene's unusually cold reply after Lucy shrewdly voiced her thought.) The two girls then sat quietly as Marlene painted her nails (blood red) and Lucy played with her hair, deciding she wasn't quite up to gossiping about Marlene and Sirius' problems. Just as they were both wondering what on earth Lily was still doing in the bathroom (it had been nearly an hour since they'd heard the shower turn off) the Head Girl swung the door open with purpose and walked out fully dressed and made up. Both Lucy and Marlene were taken aback. Lily was wearing a deep green dress that brought out her eyes beautifully and contrasted wonderfully with her hair which, in the last hour, had shortened dramatically. Instead of her normal long wavy hair, curling slightly down to her lower back, Lily now had pin straight hair that ended suddenly at her collar bone.

"Um, Lil?"

"It was time for a change." And with that, the redhead grabbed a small shoulder bag and led the way down to the common room, followed shortly behind by Marlene and Lucy.


The change was not unnoticed. She made a beeline towards Remus on the other side of the room and as she walked, heads turned. James was just returning from the kitchens carrying crates of butterbeer accompanied by Sirius and 20 bottles of firewhiskey. When the head boy caught sight of Lily he paused for a millisecond, then said "Can someone help me with these? They weigh a tonne." Remus pulled out his wand, levitated the crates from James' arms and sent them flying towards the closest table. They immediately started unpacking themselves, five butterbeers flying back to the hands of each of the marauders and Lily.

"Nice hair Evans, did you have a breakdown and chop it all off or was it more of a fashion statement?" Sirius laughed and nudged her.

"Wow, you really know the way to a girl's heart, don't you Black?" Lily said wryly. Marlene walked past with Lucy and audibly scoffed.

"Yeah, well, um, excuse me." Sirius set down his butterbeer and followed Marlene towards the table.

Remus and Peter left to set out the rest of the drinks and snacks on the table, leaving James and Lily alone in the corner.

"It does look very nice, you know." James said quietly, taking a step closer to her. "Your hair, I mean." Lily blushed.

"I just thought it was time for a change, you know?"

"Yeah, absolutely." He reached out and ran his fingers through a loose strand of her hair, then let it fall back against her collarbone. "Very pretty." He whispered.

Lily's skin was on fire. She could feel his breath on her neck and she was sure her face was as red as her hair. She looked up and their eyes locked. There was something fiery behind his intense gaze.

"Unbelievable, she is." Sirius huffed, forcing himself between them to retrieve his butterbeer. "How does she expect me to know what's wrong if she won't talk to me?!" James and Lily snapped back to reality, redfaced.

"Who?" James asked, knocked for six by Sirius' quick return.

"The lovely Miss McKinnon of course." Sirius said cuttingly, his sarcasm obvious even to the dazed James and Lily.

"What happened?" Lily took a long swig from her butterbeer, gazing at the firewhiskey Remus was just about finished unpacking, longing for something just a little bit stronger.

"She just won't talk to me." Sirius' anger was fading into something much, much worse. He was hurt. "Why won't she just talk to me?"

"Maybe you should tell her, mate." James said, his eyes boring into the side of Lily's head.

"Tell her what, exactly?" Sirius asked sceptically.

"Well I know you're pretending you don't have feelings for her but maybe it's time to admit it and stop playing games." Lily could feel his eyes on her and was sure her cheeks were crimson.

"I can't." Sirius' voice broke and James finally looked at his best friend.

"No. No padfoot. Don't you dare."

"It's the only thing I can do." Sirius hung his head, and Lily was too concerned for him to display her deep annoyance at the fact that neither of them were making any sense.

"Sorry Evans but I have to speak to this idiot. Will I see you later?" James had grabbed Sirius' arm and was dragging him towards the staircase, but locked eyes with Lily with the same intense gaze as before.

"I'll be here." Lily tried to match the intensity of his gaze, but in a split second his face cracked into a genuine smile.

"Great, looking forward to it." And with a wink and a yank of Sirius' arm, he was gone.

"Subtle." Came an amused voice to her left. Remus was back. Lily realised she had a smirk on her face, gently touching the place on her neck she had felt his breath. She started and turned towards him, the crimson colour back on her cheeks.

"What are you on about?" She went to run her hands through her hair self-consciously, only for it to end suddenly ten inches shorter than she'd expected.

"Please, you were literally biting your lip while you were talking to him."

"I was not."

"You want him."

"The only thing I want from him is to leave me alone."

"I can tell him that if you like?"

"Don't you dare."

"I knew it! You little minx."

"I will never speak to you ever again if you tell him."

"Don't think I have to."

"Oh god." Lily whispered, all colour gone from her face now. "Does he know?"

"He definitely suspects. Maybe you should tell him yourself."

"Yeah, maybe when pigs fly."

Remus brandished his wand. "That can be arranged, ginger."

She laughed in spite of herself.