"Can't Stop" – Part 7
Summary and notes in part 1.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Degrassi! (I'm not even Canadian…)
7 –
Bianca's POV –
I'm pacing around my room. It's five thirty, I'm still home alone, and I'm wondering when did my life go to hell?
Let's back up shall we? In detention I got a note from K.C. He wanted to go to the boiler room with me. He was interested in hooking up. No strings attached. Simple and fun, well, with me doing most of the work. He's a cute boy. We flirted shamelessly last week. I could care less about his baggage – criminal past, pregnant ex-girlfriend. He could care less about my reputation. It was a no brainer, right?
I'm wondering about Adam. What is he going to say? When the hell did I start to care?
Adam's POV –
I open my phone to see a text from Bianca. Just the girl I was thinking about. Sexy, inappropriate thoughts.
**Hey. Are we ok? – Bianca**
I frown as I try to make sense of her question. Why wouldn't we be? Sure I could have cancelled in person, but she texted me back that it was cool. I am baffled why she's texting me now.
Bianca's POV –
A few moments later my phone beeps. I feel a bit relieved to read his message.
**Yea. What's up? – Adam T**
Now I feel stupid. I got insecure over nothing! So we didn't talk today, I guess it makes sense because we didn't share any classes. Adam cancelling our session doesn't mean he's having second thoughts. Now I'm annoyed with myself.
This is not me. I don't care what guys think of me. I hook up with them on my own terms.
K.C. is the perfect candidate for a classic Bianca hook up. Flirting with him is easy and doesn't put butterflies in my stomach. His eyes broadcast lust, yet they don't bore so deeply into mine that I feel a stirring in my soul. If he has a long chat with friends I wouldn't feel worried that they talked him out of being with me. And if I hooked up with him, I would feel fine continuing to hook up with other guys. He's interchangeable unlike Adam.
Whoa. What am I doing?
I need to end this train of thought and text him back. I'm sure Adam thinks I'm loopy right now. Especially because of the delayed response. I pick up my phone and write him back.
Adam's POV –
I've been sitting on the couch with Drew for the last ten minutes, when I finally hear back from her. I scoot away from Drew as I open my phone. I really don't want him to find out who I'm texting.
**Just checking ttyl – Bianca**
My eyebrows shoot up.
Despite being born one, it is apparent that I will never understand girls. What was she checking?
"Dude, are you alright?"
I look over and see Drew looking me with curious eyes. I guess I paused over the phone too long. I snap it shut.
"Yea, I'm cool."
"Who was that?" he asks.
"Who was what?" I stall.
He gives me a knowing smile. "You've been continuously checking your cell phone during the past few scenes."
I shrug. 'Dammit.' Why was he so perceptive? "It was a message from Clare."
His face changes, "Oh."
Another lie. It's official. I am an asshole.
"I'm glad they want to make amends. You guys shouldn't fight," he says supportively.
I nod. "Yea."
After he turns away I open my phone and text Bianca back.
Bianca's POV –
**Ok. See u at school – Adam T**
I lean back on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. Why am I obsessing over this? I just need to pull back a bit. Maybe I should go to the ravine tonight after all? Alcohol would definitely take the edge off. It's not like I could have a heart to heart with my best friend. I don't have any close female friends. Owen and Fitz are fun but I'd have to be drunk to confess my deepest secrets.
Then again, maybe getting drunk is a bad idea…
I turn my head and enjoy the feeling of the soft covers on my cheek. Suddenly I remember being tangled in these sheets two days ago – with Adam.
I sit up quickly. Looking around the room I find much of it reminds me of him. I can't touch my lamp without remembering how he told me to leave it off. At the time I thought it was an odd request, though in hindsight it made sense. He didn't want me to see him. 'He's not comfortable with his body.'
It's ironic. Once I found out what Adam was I hated his body. I was horrified that I started to like someone who had been born a girl. I hated him for deceiving me. In time I realized most of that anger was because that revelation meant we could never be. I had been considering going to the boiler room with him. That wasn't going to happen and I was mad at myself for still liking him.
When we were hooking up I didn't care. I was with Adam and his body was not a hindrance. He was making me feel good and I wanted him to feel good too. It surprised me how much. He is a guy between the ears, and while his body doesn't match up it doesn't change who he is.
I stand up. I know something that works better than alcohol and mindless hook ups to make me feel numb. I grab my book bag and head to the living room. I pull out a pen, notebook, and math textbook. I'm going to do my homework for a change.
.
tbc
A/N: Aha! No cliffhanger this time. Though it seems like something's going on…
