Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended.
**Set after the motorcycle crash in New Moon.
Kaleidoscope
Every color hides a rainbow. Like Edward's eyes — black and blood red, so clear in their violent, triumphant rage. She wonders when she has ever seen him like this — awake and screaming. Of course, crippling pain and Vicodin tend to dampen edges, even the ones she longs for. New Moon AU.
•••
Every color hides...
She remembers learning in physics class how, with paint, combining all colors results in black — or really, a muddy, grungy brown — but with light something else happens entirely. You can only make white light by combing every other color in exact proportions. White light is a rainbow.
She can see it in the little pill. It pulses in time with her heart-inviting colors like olive and dun brown. She can still smell him, but he hasn't returned. She knows why she wants him back. Not-Edward is cruel, but at least she gets to see Edward. At least she isn't lonely.
"If I take this, will you be there?" she asks the air. No one hears her. The beach is almost empty and it's getting chilly.
She will do this to Jacob. She will do this to her father. She knows that they should hate her forever for it. But she's tried living with herself, with this new knowledge of what she's capable of, how he can't forgive her. She gives up. Yes, it makes what she did before even worse. Yes, it means she's weak. Yes, she's sickened by her very existence.
"Will you be there?" she asks again, very softly.
Because this downward spiral can only end in a rainbow.
...
As soon as he gets there he realizes how big it all is, how little a chance he has of finding her. Is she on the boardwalk or the beach? The waves were loud, but he heard weird squeaks and groans, too, like the gears on one of the ancient rides. Maybe that narrows it down.
"Fuck," he mutters, just because it feels nice to let something out, ease the frantic pressure in his head.
He turns to look at the old wooden staircase that leads to the beach.
He'd say fuck her to hell, only he's very afraid that she's taking care of that herself.
•••
A/N: Thanks for reading!
