Here's my brother's star wars story. I didn't write it.

Anakin was sitting on the john when Ahsoka burst in and cried, "We have to bring relief supplies to Prunonia!"

"What supplies?"

"Toilet paper!"

"Why does the military enterprise have to bring relief toilet paper to a planet?"

"The Seperatists are blockading the planet from toilet paper deliveries!"

"And... why should I care?"

"Their main export is prunes to the republic!"

"What do we do with the prunes?"

"The clone troopers get constipated really easily."

"Then let's go!"

On their way there they ran into Dooku. Anakin asked, "Why are you here?"

"I happened to be passing it on the way to Prunonia with a blockade of ships when I had to stop there because I had to use the restroom and there are no stalls on any of my ships. I never left because... well... I'm an old man and their main export is prunes."

This has nothing to do with Star Wars whatsoever but it's still classic Mike

My brother was outside when a kid named Kieran fell off his scooter and scraped his knee. Kieran started bawling and insisted he couldn't walk. My brother looked at the kid's knee and said, "We're going to have to amputate." then went into our garage and got our biggest, rustiest saw he could find. The second Kieran saw it he hopped back on his scooter and rode back home faster than anyone has seen him ride before.