If you watch Prince of Tennis for cute Ryoma-chan, then you'll only be getting a pale imitation of him here, sadly. But if you watch it for Shinji, you'll still be seeing a pale imitation of Ryoma.

The Great Kouhai Exchange

Day 2: Gossip Boy and Sadistic Mothers and Pale Imitations

"You bastard, give me those scissors! I know how to cut hair better!" said Momoshiro, glaring at Kaidoh.

Kaidoh snorted. "You know how to cut hair? You're a... hooligan! You don't know the art of cutting hair!" said Kaidoh angrily.

"Yeah, right! You look at the mirror!"

"You're a wannabe! Let me do it!"

"I'll never!"

Tezuka and Shinji were twitching. Eiji was sparkling. Fuji was smiling. Inui was collecting data. Kawamura and Oishi were panicking... or not.

"Guys, we need to work together in order to make Ibu-kun look amazing!" said Oishi, rubbing his palms together. There was a [sinister] smile on his face. Who said mothers couldn't be sadists? I know my mother's one!

"Nya, Oishi, we can't have that!" said Eiji.

"Why not?" said Oishi, pouting.

"One percent chance you can give Ibu a proper haircut that looks like Echizen's, three percent chance that you will give Ibu a mohawk, and ninety-six percent chance that you will give Ibu the very same hairstyle you have now,"

Oishi gasped. He said: "Do you guys think I'm that mean? I will never do that!"

"That can happen, Oishi. Sorry." said Fuji.

"But-"

"We need to make Shin-chan look like a pale imitation of Ochibi at the best, nya!" said Eiji happily.

X

In a corner, Kawamura and Ibu were chatting like two sensible teenage boys.

"And so I heard Atobe say: 'I'm hot. I'm wanted, and everything you're not, Shishido-'"

"Can't we just talk about something else Kawamura-san? I mean, I've had enough of Atobe and his bogus. He always thinks of himself and nothing else. He'd get the satisfaction of hearing people talk behind his back because they think of him."

"Sorry." said Kawamura, looking ashamed.

Why did he gossip? Only girls gossiped! Could it be that he was slowly turning into a girl?

Nah.

He was just turning into a Gossip Boy.

Um, ew!

X

"Ah, I think Kunimitsu (Tezuka glared harder at Fuji) could give Ibu a good haircut, don't you think so?" said Fuji, "After all, their hair looks almost the same."

Everyone looked at Tezuka and nodded, amazed at Fuji's wisdom. Well, what could you expect? He was a genius.

"No." said Tezuka.

"But why not?" Eiji said, pouting.

"No."

X

In the end, Tezuka agreed.

"That's great, Kunimitsu!" Fuji said, smiling, and he handed Tezuka scissors.

Tezuka stared at the scissors, puzzled.

"Buchou can't use scissors!" ...was what Momoshiro wanted to say.

"Aw, that's all right, Kunimitsu," said Fuji, patting Tezuka's back, "You can use this,"

And then he handed Tezuka a sword.

The regulars and Shinji gasped.

X

Shinji didn't die, thankfully. He admired his reflection, and tried to ramble about it.

He could only find himself saying 'mada mada dane' and 'che'.

X

"We should get Ibu-kun a cool cap!" said Fuji.

"Oh yeah!" said Eiji.

"Let's get him a Fedora!" said Momoshiro.

"Do you even know what a Fedora is?" said Kaidoh, who didn't know what a Fedora was and hoped Momoshiro would explain it.

Sadly, Momoshiro just said: "Yes."

X

The regulars ended up in a mall, where they could have gotten a haircut from a professional. Shinji did look good, though. Bangs suited him well.

"Let's get Ibu a suit!"

"I have one already." said Shinji flatly, like Ryoma would. How a hairstyle could change a person, I would never know.

"It was a hand-me-down from your brother who was obese and worked in a circus." said Inui.

"...Che,"

X

Fuji held up a black suit, "See, Ibu? You can use this for prom!"

TO BE CONTINUED

Uh, Suite Life of Zack and Cody reference, anyone? (Shut up. I'm not too old for it, I swear.)