Sansa discovered upon her sea voyage that she thrived at sea. The ocean was exhilerating, and she spent much time on deck, watching the water, pondering what hid in it's depths. She was delighted when she saw dolphins or a whale. She loved looking in all directions and seeing nothing but sky and sea.
She wondered what was going on in King's Landing right now, the chaos their sudden disappearance had stirred. A freshening breeze blew through her hair and she inhaled deeply, and thoughts of King's Landing left her mind.
Shae was not doing well. She claimed it was just sea sickness, but it didn't seem at all like sea sickness. Shae stayed in bed mostly and cried. She cried when she thought Sansa and Sandor were asleep, and Sansa had caught her crying when she would return to the cabin. Always Shae would quickly wipe her eyes and sniff, trying to pretend nothing was the matter except nausea brought on by the rocking boat.
One night Sansa lay in bed, letting the gentle rocking of the ship lull her to sleep. She was almost out when Shae began to cry. Sansa was immediately fully awake, as she always was when Shae began to cry before Sansa was fully asleep. Sansa sighed inwardly, Shae tried hard to keep from letting anyone know something was wrong, and she obviously didn't want to speak about it. Sansa didn't want to invade her friend's privacy, but she was sure that if Shae just spoke to someone she may feel better.
Sansa sat up and looked over at Shae, who was curled up with her back to the room. She had a fistfull of blanket and was holding it against her mouth in an attempt to muffle her crying.
"Shae, what ever is the matter?" Sansa asked in a tone that was both exasperated but full of concern. Shae stiffened at the first sound of Sansa's voice, but the jig was up, Sansa was confronting her.
Shae sat up, her pretty black hair askew. She sat there in a slump, Sansa was sure if she were to tap Shae lightly on the shoulder Shae would fall over. After a moment of staring ahead dispondantly Shae looked at Sansa and said in a teary voice, "If I told you what was the matter you would hate me."
Sansa put a gentle hand on her handmaiden's back and murmured, "No, that is not so. You have been such a dear friend to me when I had no one else in the world to trust, I could not hate you."
A few tears streaked down Shae's face and she said in a trembling voice, "Really milady, I want to believe that. But you are a lady...and I have not been."
Sansa rubbed her hand over Shae's back in little circular motions, trying to bring Shae comfort as Shae had so often tried to do for her. "Come now Shae, for so long now my life has depended on me keeping my feelings hidden, lying and saying what people wanted to hear rather than what I truely wanted to say. I think a little honesty would be refreshing." And she smiled supportively at her friend.
Shae nodded, stifling a sob, when she was sure she could speak without crying she looked into Sansa's eyes and said, "I am a whore."
Sansa's expression went from one of concern to one of confusion, her response was simply a bewildered, "Huh?"
"A whore?" The Hound asked, sitting up in his sleep and looking around groggily like a drowsy dog that had just caught the sent of a rabbit but wasn't sure if it wanted to give chase or go back to it's nap. Sansa smiled and shook her head and motioned for him to lay back down with her hand. He did so and was asleep again instantly.
Shae was sure Sansa would be upset, having put so much trust in a whore, having been friends with a whore, but she said she wanted the truth, and Shae was tired of hiding things too. She continued saying, "I was a camp follower when I met Tyrion. His man Bronn took me from another man and brought me to Tyrion. He brought me to King's Landing and put me to work as your handmaiden so we wouldn't be found out."
"Oh." Sansa said softly, then continued saying, "So you've been...with him this whole time?" Shae nodded gravely, ready for the anger and disgust, resentment and judgement she thought might come. Sansa was a sweet girl, but she was also a high born lady, most high born ladies had no tolerance for whores.
"So, were you ok, with him making you...exlusively his?" Sansa asked awkwardly. Shae shrugged.
"At first it was a job. I told him what he wanted to hear, did what he wanted me to do. And when he offered to make my being only his worth my while...well milady you wouldn't know it, but whores don't know much constance or comfort in their lives, I couldn't refuse. But after awhile it wasn't just a job. I wasn't just doing...that. He would confide in me, he treated me like a person. I can tell you milady, there aren't many people in the world who have treated me well." Shae gushed, she hadn't expected to say so much, and she hoped her frank answer hadn't offended Sansa more than the initial shock of discovering she was a whore on the side.
"Did you love him?" Sansa asked, her thin eye brows arched in consideration, her expression thoughtful.
Shae took pause for a moment and inhaled a deep breath then nodded and said, "I did milady. I believe I do."
Sansa pondered what she had just been told, it was quite a shock. She had been raised believing in fairy tales, princes were charming, knights were valiant..all that nonsense. Whores never came into the fairytale, but she had been raised to think they were bad people, and that a lady would never debase herself by conversing with one. What would all the grand women at King's Landing think if they knew Sansa had a whore for a hand maiden? Seeing as the Queen was rumored to be a glorified incestuous whore who plotted the death of her husband and King Sansa didn't give one whit what the "Noble" women thought of her. She had been a good little dove, only cooing when spoken to...that gave her lots of time to listen, to hear all about everyone's dirty little secrets. She knew what most of them truly were, behind all the pretty gowns, flashy gems and false lady like behavior.
After a few moments Sansa sat up straight and said, "I am sorry you had to leave Tyrion because of me." She didn't understand why Shae loved Tyrion, but there must be some goodness in him after all.
Shae shook her head and replied, "It wasn't your fault milady. He had been trying to get me to leave King's Landing for awhile now. He is afraid it's becoming to dangerous there, and that we would be found out, and that his father would have me killed. I went to him after I agreed to come with you, I told him you were leaving and had offered to take me. He gave me a sack full of gold and told me to go with you." Shae said, the tears welling up again. Now Sansa fully understood, Shae didn't want to be parted from Tyrion.
"You don't think Tyrion will tell anyone what you revealed to him, do you?" Sansa asked, feeling her chest start to tighten.
Shae shook her head, "No milady, he won't. They may be his family, but he knows what they truly are. And he always hated the way Joffery treated you. He said he was glad you were escaping, and that he wanted me to go to, for my saftey."
Then Shae asked timidly, "Do you hate me?"
Shae's voice drug Sansa from her pondering and she looked at her handmaiden and smiled and shook her head. "No Shae, I don't hate you. You did what you had to, to make a living, to stay alive. Isn't that just what we all are doing...trying to stay alive?"
Shae smiled and hugged Sansa, who hugged her handmaiden in return. "Perhaps it will get a little easier in Meereen." Shae said hopefully to her friend. They sat together in an sisterly embrace as they pondered life in Meereen and the possibilities, and for a moment Sansa allowed herself to imagine it being grand and wonderful...a fairy tale made real, though she knew it probably would not be anything like that.
