I love you?
"Lord Sesshoumaru?"
Silence.
"Lord Sesshoumaru?"
He nodded his head and almost felt like sighing. Here it was again, that troublesome questioning tone that brought nothing but problems with it. Sometimes he couldn't help but wonder if the girl ever ran out of question, or was she simply made out of them. He was actually grateful he didn't have any kids of his own. Well, sort of…
"I was just wondering, have you ever said 'I love you' to anyone?"
Now that was slightly shocking. He glanced at her way. Her big brown eyes were looking straight at him, earnest and wondering.
"No." He had learned by now that it was better to be strictly honest. She was the type who didn't let go once the thought entered her little brain. If she wouldn't get the answer from him, she'd probably start to ask the same thing from every person who she met. That might also include asking about it from Inuyasha, and that was something he did not want to her to do. His stupid half brother should never hear about this.
"Oh, I see", Rin said, sounding rather sad. She lowered her head and bit her lower lip, a habit she had when troubled about something or other.
Sesshoumaru had to admit, he was confused. What on earth had brought on such a question and what was she thinking now? What was there to be troubled about?
Rin looked up again. "Has anyone ever told you that they love you?"
He was starting to feel slightly uncomfortable. This subject was not something he was used to, in good or bad. "No", he stated and turned to look the other way. Now was the right time to come up with a plan to escape.
"I see", the girl sighed again.
Sesshoumaru was dying to know what she was thinking. Unfortunately, knowing would require asking about it and that was absolutely out of the question. Although now might be the right time to make an exception. Jaken was lost somewhere so there was no fear that he might hear this horrible conversation.
Before Sesshoumaru managed to come to any conclusion about what to do, Rin opened her mouth. "Would you like someone to say it to you?"
Sesshoumaru blinked. This was starting to get beyond uncomfortable. "Rin, what are you talking about?"
Rin's eyes were fixed on the blade of grass she was holding between her fingers. She began to divide it into pieces never looking up, and when she was done, she picked another one and started from the beginning. Sesshoumaru waited patiently for the girl to organize her thoughts.
"Well, I was just wondering…"
"What is it Rin?" Sesshoumaru encouraged (he was surprised he did that) when she didn't continue.
"I was collecting some food in the forest and I saw a woman and a boy there", she told him and then fell silent again. It also looked like she was going to destroy a lot of grass during this talk.
"Rin."
Sesshoumaru's tone made Rin finally blurt it all out: "Well you see, Lord Sesshoumaru, they were talking about this and that and then the mother said to the boy that she loved him and the boy said it too and then the boy asked why they're saying it and the mother said that people need to know they're loved and then I realized that I don't remember anyone ever telling me that so I was just wondering if…if…well…" Rin's head fell to her knees and she wrapped her arms around them.
This was one of those rare moments when Sesshoumaru really, truly wanted to be somewhere else entirely. Actually, he wanted to pretend that he had never heard any of the things the little girl had said. Even more he wished he had never asked anything. He should have known it was no good doing something against his usual habits. Habits were good. They exist for a reason!
What was he supposed to say anyway? Should he comfort her? Out of the question! That was not something he would do. Not that he'd even know how to do something like that. He didn't remember ever having to comfort anyone.
Then again, he sort of wanted to comfort the girl. Her sad face was something he did not like seeing. He wanted her eyes to sparkle with excitement, not glisten with tears.
Okay then… How about he patted her head?
No no no. Absolutely not! No physical contact needed.
Should he say it was okay…
But why on earth would he say that when the girl obviously wasn't okay?
This was horrible.
Suddenly Rin raised her head and looked at him. "Lord Sesshoumaru? Do you think my parents died without me because they didn't love me?"
Now what kind of question was that? Was she joking? Hmm, no she was seriously troubled by it. How unusual…
Of course he couldn't tell the child that she was beyond stupid for thinking something like that. Even humans weren't unpractical enough to find bandits to slaughter them just because they didn't love their daughter. However, Sesshoumaru really thought he shouldn't say that out loud. Rin looked rather vulnerable at the moment. That's why (and because he honestly didn't know what else to say) he simply said: "No."
"Ah. That's good then", Rin sighed relieved.
"Is it?" Sesshoumaru couldn't help it. It sort of slipped out of his mouth, just a quiet mumble but it did come out all the same. He'd never done that before, let things slip. Would Rin notice if he started to bang his head against the nearest tree? Probably…
"Yeah… I was afraid that they wanted to get away from me… But that's a bit silly isn't it? I mean, I don't really remember anything about them so why would I remember the 'I love you' – part? They might have said it."
Sesshoumaru was very quiet and his face was carefully under control so he wouldn't make any unnecessary noises or expressions that would encourage the girl to continue. He didn't really trust himself at that particular moment. The tree he was leaning against was staring to press his back rather painfully but he didn't dare to move or he might do something he later regretted…
"But really, Lord Sesshoumaru, wouldn't you want someone to say it to you?" Rin asked, now in a considerably better mood.
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened in alarm. Once again he found himself pondering how he should answer. Silence would be like avoiding the issue, denying would (knowing Rin) make the girl feel sorry for him (which was probably worse than anything else) and admitting would simply be lying. He looked at the girl with a bit of suspicion.
Rin was now looking at the clouds and talking to herself. "I wouldn't mind hearing it…"
Yes, Sesshoumaru was officially terrified. Not that anyone could find out about it since there were no signs about it on his face. That of course didn't change the fact that inside his head there was a screaming voice that told him to run away as fast as he could. He was able to run very fast if he wanted, it wouldn't take long to get a safe distance between them. Honestly, did she want him to say that he…he…
Suddenly Rin stood up. "I think I'll go pick up some flowers and I'll try to find Jaken, too. I think he's lost somewhere."
She smiled so brightly that Sesshoumaru thought he was off the hook. She would go do what she did best (she was very good at picking things from the ground) and he could get lost in his own mind and forget the stupid talk about l…l…lo…lov…well, that thing.
Rin was just about to disappear into the woods when she turned around and looked at Sesshoumaru with a pair of very serious brown eyes. "Lord Sesshoumaru?"
He didn't answer, and he most certainly didn't look.
"I love you", she whispered and ran off. He could hear her laughing quietly as she ran. She was happy again.
Sesshoumaru on the other hand had never been that embarrassed in his entire life. It was his turn to start destroying the grass, one stalk of hay at a time.
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Hello my dears! It's been a while since I updated this. I can't believe I'm writing something like this but oh well... My best friend likes stuff like this so she'll be happy. (Actually I just wanted to be a bit mean to Sesshoumaru...)
A Thousand Thankyous to everyone who have reviewed, favorited and alerted!!! ^^ Lots of hugs and kisses!! Levae a review this time too, pleeese! ^^ Ooh, and if you have time, please go and read my story Roommate, My Roommate featuring Sesshy and Naraku. It's a collection of oneshots like this one and its completely random but I sort of like it myself and I'd like to hear your opinions, too. (No, it's not yaoi, so don't turn away screaming). There was something else I wanted to say but I forgot what it was...
Oh yeah, thanks for correcting my mistakes (meaning spelling errors and such)! I'm really very grateful, I learn a lot from those. I won't correct them though, I have my reasons, but your corrections won't be wasted, don't worry! ^^
Love, Val
