This takes place on a weekend some time after Mercedes gave Sam the journal (Chapter 6: The Reckoning), but before Valentines' Day (Chapter 7: The Rumors).
Drabble requested by gurlchocolate: The moment that Sam knew he was truly in love with Mercedes
The Apple of My Eye
Even though he had yet to actually write in it, Sam took his journal with him everywhere. It occurred to him that aside from the necessities that Mercedes provided for him, this was the first tangible gift that he had gotten in years! How was she so amazing? She genuinely cared about everyone, everyone, even if they were simply rotten people; she cared about people. She sang like a professional and her voice could bring tears to your eyes. She was wonderful with the dogs, but even more impressive with children and babies.
God, she would make a perfect mother, he thought as she picked up the pig and felt on it. They were at the petting zoo with some of the handicapped children from the community center. "What is this thing? This thing must be a bear!"
"NO!" The children cheered.
"No? Well, then! Is it a chicken?" She asked them.
"NO!" they laughed.
"Are you guys kidding me? What in creation am I holding, then?" She asked them.
"Pig!" The children were excited to answer.
She felt the animal again and said, "You kids are smart. You're so smart! Well, let's see, if it's a pig, then it definitely has to say MOOOO!"
"NO!"
"No? Why not MOOOO?" She asked, doing the entire full "moo" for them.
"That's a cow!" The kids yelled out different versions of the same statement.
"So, what does a pig say, then?" Mercedes asked.
"OINK, OINK!" Sam laughed as she continued to play this game with them, using a sheep, a duck, and a pony. It had been his idea to take them to the petting zoo, and that was because Mercedes felt it would be too hectic to try to take them to a carnival that was passing through. A few times, she got on the ground and pretended to be certain animals, so that not only their kids, but other kids at the petting zoo could ride on her.
Sam, in a moment of impulse reached over and pulled her to him, "Climb up," he said, helping hoist her onto his back.
"What am I supposed to be climbing?" She asked, with a laughing, shaky voice.
"Me," he told her. She laughed even harder as she felt little hands press against her backside, trying to assist her get onto Sam's back. He reached for her legs and hoisted her up. "Now, you get to ride," Sam said, giving her a piggy back around a small open space in the area. She laughed as he ran around, carrying her. She had to admit, she had never been given a piggy back ride. She generally gave them.
"Sam, do NOT let me go!" She command when he jumped over something.
He smiled and said, "Nope, never." He realized what he said and stopped running. All of the kids were running behind him and they stopped too, and exploded into laughter about what they had just seen. Sam gently stood Mercedes up and squeezed her hand. "Wasn't that fun?" He asked her. She smiled brightly and nodded.
"But, whose next?" One of the children asked. Then, Sam had to run around with different children on his back. After all of that, most of them were ready for a nap. Sam had the littlest of the kids being carried on his shoulders, while he held the hand of the next littlest and the two after that held Mercedes' hands, though she also held Cluster and Kissy's leashes.
"You were great with them, today," Mercedes said, impressed, as they helped all of them into their seats in the van.
Sam smiled and said, "I'm actually pretty sure that I'm an overgrown child, myself – so I get along with them, pretty well. Besides, I've always wanted kids," he shamelessly admitted. He watched this look of surprise cross her face, then her expression settle into a soft smile. "Shocked?"
"At first, I was, because I immediately thought about the fact that you have yet to speak about what you want in a woman, so I guess it threw me for a loop that you talk about wanting kids. But then, I thought about who you are – strong but nurturing and protective but respectful… You would make the perfect father, Sam. Some lady's going to be very lucky to bear your children."
"What about the lucky guy who is going to get Miss Mercedes Jones to become his gorgeous little Missus? I was watching you with the kids. I always watch you with them. Not only are you going to be a perfect mom, but you'll be a wonderful wife, too…" Sam said and bit his lip. He'd said entirely too much and Mercedes' face seemed to agree with that last thought. Mercedes shut the back door of the van and got into the passenger's seat, now suddenly quiet. She hadn't even said thank you, mostly because she was trying to figure out if that was supposed to be a joke.
Sam made sure that each of the children was secured in their safety belts before climbing into the driver's seat. "I think that I'll drive around for a while and give them a chance to get a proper nap," he said as he buckled up. He looked over at Mercedes and said, quietly… "I meant it. You will."
"People say things like that, like they really consider me like any other woman, but they really don't. People think of me as blind first, then as a woman… and for whatever reason… the blind part becomes difficult for people to get past long enough to see the woman part," she said, softly and sadly.
Sam hadn't started the car, so he reached over and grabbed her hand, "I have no idea how any man could look at you and see anything other than a woman. The man for you is never going to let your blindness deter him from getting you. I wouldn't," he said, bit his lip again and winced. Mercedes shyly withdrew her hand from his hold and chuckled.
"Whenever you finally get around to going after that woman for you – the poor thing is not gonna stand a chance against all of that charm," she said, uneasy. Soon, she reached for the radio and turned on some soft music, as to not disturb the kids. Sam began driving.
Sam could. Not. Sleep. After the long nap ride that he and Mercedes took the children on, after they dropped them all off at their homes, when it was just the two of them, she said, "I don't even know if I can have children. He reflexively pressed hard on the brakes and she reached for the dashboard to still herself.
He apologized, then asked, "Why did you say that? I mean, did doctors tell you that? Is there some kind of issue? Because… you know, if there is – there are plenty of babies and kids that need a mom like you who have nobody. I mean, it's not like it's hopeless, even if you have a condition or something." Mercedes smiled slightly and Sam stared at her, wondering what was going on in her head. That still way that she silently thought… it always intrigued him. He always wanted to be in the center of her mind, surrounded by the glorious thoughts that must be there.
"I have a condition that I take medicine for and I don't want to discuss it, but I may not be able to get off of it; even if I can carry a child – I wouldn't do it, because of the other condition. It wouldn't be fair to a child or a man to do that."
"If he loves you, really loves you – he'll do whatever it takes to be with you," Sam pressed.
Now, Mercedes mused, "You know, every time you say things like that, you say them like you know somebody who wants me like that." Sam's hands tightened on the steering wheel, but he didn't reply. After a moment, she asked, "Has Puck said something to you about me?" She asked. Sam felt his face turn red and he had to bite his lip to not snap at her. Puck?
"No. Puck and I aren't that close," Sam said. He and Puck sort of seemed to have this quiet understanding that they both wanted the same thing – her, and that made it difficult for Sam to be as friendly as he would like to, though he wasn't hateful towards him, or anything. "But, I do know someone who pretty much thinks the world of you," Sam admitted.
Mercedes smiled brightly and told him, "You are the sweetest person, Sam! Sometimes I wish that we weren't just friends." Sam flinched when she said that. He was about to refute it when she kissed him on the cheek and stepped out of the vehicle. How she realized that they were at the shop, he didn't know – but she headed for the shop, with the dogs like she hadn't just flipped his world upsidedown with that statement. So effing flippant! She frustrated the hell out of him!
Sam rolled the window down before she made it in and said, "Hey, Miss Jones? I just remembered that I have some personal stuff that I need to take care of, if it's okay?"
"Sure, Sam. Thank you for being my chauffer today. Lauren needed this day off."
"It was my pleasure. It's always my pleasure to be around you," he said. She laughed and went inside. Sam began to head for the Magic Mirror. Sometimes I wish that we weren't just friends… He wished that a lot of the time, more than he even ever allowed himself to admit.
Sam stopped the vehicle and sat outside. If he went in there, what would he say? "Hey Kurt, I know that Mercedes helped your lover win you over and I'm trying to do that with her, now." or "I have been thinking and dreaming about Mercedes Jones every single day and night, and today she may have given me the green flag to let her know." Sam shook his head, having no idea what he was going to do, because he wasn't even sure of how he really felt. This was a special situation in which he owed her a debt of full gratitude and maybe that was why… "Stop it, Sam Evans!" He fussed at himself. Why am I fighting this so hard? "Who the hell tries to fight off what's best for them? Who tries to deny the best thing that's ever happened to them? Someone who doesn't believe that they deserve the best. He froze at the door of the place.
Oh God – he felt this way for her within a matter of days, and it had just continued to grow and grow, but he knew that he didn't deserve her. That was why he fought it so hard. That was why he never moved forward. But, hell, if she wished, even sometimes… Kurt saw him entering the store and smiled as he made his way to the distressed looking blond. He was going to greet him, but Sam stopped him in his tracks when he said, for the first time, out loud (and Sam would recall, he realized it for the first time as the words flew out of his mouth) "I'm in love with Mercedes." He clenched his fists, shut his eyes and took a deep breath and shook his head. When he opened his eyes, Kurt was looking at him, compassionately.
"Of course, you are!" Kurt said and offered a hand out towards his office. Sam nodded and the two of them began to head for the fancy room, while Tina worked on something in the back of the store.
"I don't know what to do, Kurt. I want her to be mine," Sam said.
"Then you've come to the right person," Kurt told him.
