Another week down, I hope everyone had a fantastic 4th filled with explosions and drinking- well only if you're of age ;).

This chapter marks the start of a glorious thing: Let the Kigo subtext begin!

Almost forgot... Enjoy!


Chapter 6, Letting it Out

"Since this is our first meeting, I want you to just get comfortable with me. Don't feel pressured to say anything you don't want to." This new woman looked at Kim with a friendly smile.

Kim just stared at her lap, giving off an embarrassed aura.

"A lot of people attend therapy. It's not something to be ashamed of, but you should look at it as an opportunity to let off some of the things bothering you without having to worry about repercussions."

"Can we not call it therapy? It makes me feel damaged."

"Sure thing, Kim."

The girl before her fidgeted and said nothing, just thinking back on what made her show up to this in the first place. There was something going through Kim's mind, something she was sure she would never be able to tell any of her friends or family. Thus after one too many nightmares, she found herself in this room- on this chair, feeling as vulnerable as the day she nearly died.

"Let's start out with why you're here." The older woman moved one of her crossed legs up and down slightly. "I already know you've got a lot on your plate with starting college soon, being a world savior, a teenager. Are you stressed at all?"

Kim sat silently still staring off at her lap. This was a stupid idea. What was she going to tell this woman? Would she open up about her whole life, and share her deepest secrets with a complete stranger? It sounded ludicrous. So imagine her surprise to find herself letting it go. "Yes."

Her therapist's closed smile grew a little more at this. "In what ways?"

"Nightmares." Kim's attention averted to the window, as she stared out over Go city, not really looking at anything. "Not that I've never had them before. They're kind of a given with the job that I have, but these especially are... I don't know how to describe it. They feel."

"They feel?"

"I never remember what they're about, just waking up, the emotions are still there. It's suffocating... confusing... I don't really understand."

"And you don't have any idea what the subject is?"

"Well..." Kim turned to look this woman in the eyes. "It's about Shego."

"Now I know who Shego is, but I want you to tell me. What does she mean to you? "

"Shego is my..." Kim paused and took a moment to look reflective. "I don't know if there's a word for it, but Shego is a different version of myself I guess. Obviously there's some huge differences, I don't have super powers and all, but I realized a few months ago that Shego is the person I almost was- err, the person I could be I mean. Could have been."

"Because she was once a teenage crime fighter like yourself?"

"Yes, but I have a lot of sympathy for her."

"Which is understandable. It's normal to have sympathy for people who have fallen into hard times, or in this instance, illegal activity."

"It's not just the sympathy." Kim blushed, was she really going to say it? "I kind of... have these feelings for Shego."

Georgia froze and searched Kim's eyes.

"N-not like... romantically."

"Sexually?"

"What! No, no not- ew, god this is Shego we're talking about!" Kim's blush spread further down her face into her neck.

"What feelings are we talking about?"

"I don't know! That's why I'm confused." Kim suddenly got animated. "I have all these dreams about her ever since the fire, and I never remember them, but I wake up in cold sweats. Panicked and breathless, terrified that I've... I don't know? Lost her? I guess that's it."

"Tell me what happened during this fire."

"Shego unleashed something, a while ago. Her powers were much stronger than anyone could have imagined, much stronger than anyone had experienced, even herself. And unfortunately I think I was the reason she discovered them. I was not exactly thinking rationally, because I had just had all of my memories of her erased, and I confronted her face to face about wanting to help her change.

"Things predictably didn't go over so well and the anger she had about her past surfaced as this intense... I don't want to say monster, but she was different. It wasn't the Shego from before, it was a different side to her that scared me pretty bad. She was irrational, impulsive, nearly killed me that night because I don't think any part of her was fully conscious.

"The powers that she formed that day, she used them on me six months ago, during the Atlantic Quake... I can't legally tell you what happened, but she nearly killed me a second time on that day. Luckily there was an intervention by law enforcement and I made out with just a few broken ribs and a severe burn on my forearm.

"Five months later she contacted me anonymously, so no one else would intervene. Both of us had been preparing for this reunion in different ways. I went better suited to handle her new powers, in case she changed again into the person she was that night, and the person I knew she could be. I wasn't prepared for what happened though.

"She had learned to control that power, and used it while we fought. It was overwhelming for the first few minutes. I was terrified, but I guess that makes sense considering it didn't seem like there was going to be anything to save me this time around."

"Then why did you go? Knowing it could potentially kill you?"

"I always go. I guess it's a flaw of mine... I'll never turn down an opportunity to do good things, even at the expense of my own life."

Her therapist smiled softly at this. "It's not a flaw, Kim. It's called bravery. Heroism."

"If you say so."

"What good were you expecting to come out of this meeting?"

"I was still convinced, or some part of me was, that I could save Shego. I've been obsessed with it for months- just the thought of bringing her back from the evil that she turned to."

"And you think that this is something you can do?"

"I've been wrestling with the concept. At times I feel like it's my duty, but other times, when she has me defenseless in her hands on the brink of death I feel justifiably stupid."

"I don't think it's stupid to want to do good."

Kim raised a small corner of her mouth at this.

"So what happened during the fire?"

Kim's blush returned. "We just kind of fought. I know it sounds ridiculous, but fighting with Shego is one of the things I look forward to most in life. It's been such a stable and reliably fun time for me over the course of nearly four years, even if I don't remember it. My body still does though."

"You just fought?"

"Yeah, her immense heat and flames set fire to the building though, and we had to escape before either one of us officially won. She got away after that and I haven't seen her since."

"So why the nightmares then? Why are you afraid of losing her?"

"I don't want things to change between us. I mean I do, obviously I don't want her to keep stealing and working for a man who kills people, but I like the time we spend together even if on occasion it does become deadly. If Shego were to just stop being a part of my life, it would suck majorly."

"What kind of relationship do you have with her? Other than the fighting I mean."

"Uh... there kind of isn't one. Just the fighting."

"Do you wish it was more than that?"

"What like friendship?" Kim bit her lip at the thought of being friends with her arch nemesis. "Even if I wanted to be friends with Shego, which let's be honest is super freaky, she has absolutely no interest."

"Why not?"

"She tried to kill me a few times. There's that. Also she's an evil villain which kind of puts a damper on the whole, let's go to the movies and have sleepovers thing."

Georgia chuckled and folded her hands on one knee. "As far as I can tell, Shego is a way for you to get rid of your stress. When fighting you release this tension, and afterwards all the frustrations are gone. Would you say this is a fair conclusion?"

"You're saying I'm just using Shego as a punching bag?"

"No, but I can see how it would sound like that. She's more of the personification of your anger. Shego feeds on your frustration, and in return you're relieved of the things that make you upset. It's a natural therapy in the most extreme way."

"You think she needs me?"

"In a way, I suppose she does just like how you need her. Let's stop for a moment and pretend that you will never see her for the rest of your life. How does this make you feel?"

"Awful."

"How do you think it would make Shego feel?"

"I... I don't know, I can't tell you how Shego thinks. It would probably make her happy."

"Do you feel like an annoyance to her?"

"Yes. That's my job, I'm supposed to be the person who constantly foils her plans, or I mean Drakken's plans. She's mentioned on multiple occasions that she wishes I would just disappear so it would be easier for her to do her job. She even tried to do it with the memory... eraser... So that's why he did it!"

"Sorry?"

"No it's just- I realized something just now it's not important."

"Well anyway, I don't think Shego finds you annoying."

"You don't?"

"Well honestly if someone was constantly stopping me from doing something I could see how I would have a lot of unresolved anger towards that person, but at the same time it's got to be a lot of fun to do what you two do. The passion you have for each other in this" she paused looking for the right metaphor "dance, is what really solidifies your feelings for each other."

"What feelings are those?"

"Desire."

Kim snorted. "I do not desire Shego."

"Probably not in a way that you're used to, but yes I think a part of you needs this woman because of the crutch she's been. Like a drug you've been taking all these years, she's the answer to your problems. You don't have to face the death and despair associated with crime fighting because Shego has always been there for you to take it out on."

"This is ridiculous."

"You said it yourself. You like fighting. Why does one enjoy such a primal act of violence? It's human nature to solve problems with violence." Kim's eyebrows connected. "Have you ever tried to stop Drakken and Shego by sitting them down and talking through the issue?"

"No, that's stupid."

"Why?"

"Because Drakken doesn't listen to reason. He's a crazy man who tries to take over the world, how do you reason with someone like that?"

"And so you choose to solve his violence with violence?"

"It's not like that. I don't have a choice."

"I'm not disagreeing with your options. I'm justifying something that you're afraid to admit."

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"You're afraid of losing Shego."

"That's not the same thing." Kim was on the verge of acting out against this woman when she sat back and admitted defeat. She truly thought violence was the answer. It was her go to defense mechanism for conflict. How could it not be? She had been fighting since puberty, it was all Kim knew. She was more like Shego than she wanted to admit, and this thought was terrifying. "I don't want to be a violent person. I've gone my whole life trying to stop violent people."

"You're not violent, Kim. You're doing what's necessary and while violence is not the answer to everything, it would be a lie to tell you it solves nothing. If it's what saves the world, if it's what makes you happy then why not?" She smiled. "It's not hurting anybody."

"Tell that to my ribs."

"Well, it is a fight after all, but I meant that it does more good than harm." Kim didn't look like she was buying it. "You save lives. You're a hero, tell me that isn't worth everything you go through?"

"It is... that's why I do it." The room fell silent, and Kim's therapist looked at her watch.

"Alright, this first meeting went excellently. Now I'm going to give you some homework for the next time you come in. I want you to keep a journal of every dream you have. When you wake up immediately write down everything you remember or feel, and what or who it's about."

"Ok."

"Good I'll see you next week, Kim."

The younger woman nodded and left the room, feeling even more conflicted than when she first walked in.

"So how did it go?" Kim's father opened the front door for her as she walked out of the office with him.

"Uh... not how I expected."

"Why's that?"

"I feel like there's a lot of stuff in my life I never put any thought into. You know I never questioned why I help people, I just always thought it was the right thing to do. Now I'm thinking about Shego, and Global Justice, and all of these things that I used to just feel were straight forward. Global Justice, good. Shego, bad. But maybe I'm not seeing the whole picture, maybe the in-between is what I really need to focus on."

"I don't want this woman to convince you that anything is what it isn't. Shego is still bad. Global Justice, while I admit is not entirely good, is as good as you're going to get, not including nonprofits of course."

"Yeah." Kim didn't want to argue and got into the car, they drove home in silence.


The next few nights were relatively uneventful. It was as if someone had switched off the nightmares and she instead woke up each morning full of energy and enthusiasm about the day.

It was another week until Shego contacted her for a rematch and Kim went, feeling much less secure about herself and what they were doing than she ever had. This confrontation was different too. Since Shego hadn't been committing crimes as of late, there wasn't any reason for either of them to meet, let alone fight. The whole thing was just a bit awkward.

"What are we doing?" Kim walked into the room where Shego was warming up, dressed in her flame-retardant battle suit.

Shego turned to her in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Why are we doing this?"

"What do you mean why? I'm doing it so I can prove I'm better than you. So you'll stop feeling like you need to show up because you'll know you're going to lose."

"Why though, what difference does that make? You're not even committing crimes anymore."

The older woman said nothing in response.

"Tell me what I am to you."

"What kind of request is that? We meet, we fight, I win, you go home or to the hospital. That's how it's always been."

"We only ever fought because of Drakken, and now that he's been under Global Justice's watch for six odd months what more do you have to prove? If you think you're so great why do you keep calling me to fight?"

"Look, you don't want to do this? Fine I've got better things to do than show you up." Shego started walking towards Kim to leave the room. The younger girl reached out and grabbed the green woman's wrist to stop her.

"We have issues, you realize that right?"

"Maybe you have issues." Shego snatched her hand away and rubbed it, as if it would wipe off the other woman's touch. "But I'm perfectly fine."

"This is not normal you know. People don't just meet up every so often and beat the tar out of each other. They don't send each other to the hospital and get some kind of sick satisfaction out of it."

"Will you look at me. When do you think I last fit the bill of normal? If you don't want to fight why did you even show up? Stop wasting my time, Possible."

"I never said I didn't want to fight." Kim looked at her with resolve. "I just wanted you to know that I get something out of it too."

Shego's eyes narrowed. "Did I ask?"

"No, but you definitely thought about it." At hearing the other woman scoff, Kim explained. "I noticed nothing here is flammable." Kim motioned to the warehouse around them. She was right. It was made entirely of steel, empty of all but a few leftover machinery.

"Yeah, so? Maybe I'm not interested in being trapped in a burning building like last time. I'm wasn't thinking about you, Cupcake. But I sure am interested to know why you think so highly of yourself now."

"You need me, Shego. You need this, and if you want it to continue we're going to lay some ground rules."

This definitely peaked the older woman's curiosity.

"I may not know what exactly it is that you get out of fighting me, but I know that you enjoy it, and I do too. What I don't enjoy is being bedridden for 2 months while I'm waiting for my life threatening injuries to heal. If you want to do this, you have to promise not to willingly try and kill me."

"What kind of crap is coming out of your mouth?" Shego's face turned to a snarl. "I need you? I enjoy fighting you? I should promise not to kill you? I don't know what you've been doing since the last time we fought, but I can assure you I do not sit around and think about you, and I don't do play dates. Maybe you forgot who you're talking to- I shouldn't have to remind you."

"I'll leave." Kim stood in front of her, harboring second thoughts.

"Yeah? Then go. Leave like everyone else." It was a slip. The Villainess' eyes widened slightly.

Kim's eyes softened at the confession. "Abandonment issues? Really?"

"Shut up."

"That's what the problem has been this whole time."

"Shut your mouth, Kim."

"Look." She sighed running a hand through her long bangs. "I'm not interested in fixing you," she lied, "I'm done with that. I want to fight, I just don't want to die."

"Let me arrange that for you." Shego lit up and flew at Kim, charging straight at her. The two started their dance, trading blow for blow, the heroine learning when Shego's heat would be a factor and when it wouldn't, allowing her to get more confident in her attacks and blocks.

The sync was a bit euphoric for Kim, more than it had ever been. Now that she wasn't focusing on the stress of winning, of saving the world, it became more about the physical intensity of just giving as good as she got. Making sure Shego came out of it looking as bad as she did. And when they finally pulled away, looking nearly equal in terms of injury Kim smiled.

"What got into you?" Shego panted.

"Therapy." Kim fell onto her butt and laid back on the ground, limbs spread and suit unzipped to air out her skin.

"What?" The green woman stood up somewhat straighter. "You're talking to a quack about me?"

"Yes. Apparently, like I said, we have a lot of issues."

"Again, I'll rephrase that. You have a lot of issues. I am perfectly fine."

"Does a perfectly fine person work for a murderer and try to kill teenage girls?"

"Not in a societal opinion, no. But it's worked for me." Shego shrugged and started to let her glow fade, not really caring either way that it burned off her suit each time. On this occasion however she brought a spare and put it on as the heat faded. She stood there, now fully dressed, and looked across the room at the girl on the floor who had her eyes shut since she laid down.

Then her curiosity got the better of her.

"What do you get out of it? You're not masochistic are you?" An evil smirk graced her features.

"You relieve my stress, simple as that." Kim did a sit up, just long enough to look at the other woman as she talked. "Fighting you is a great way to ignore all the stuff I have to go through on a daily basis what with saving the world, and dealing with college, Ron... When I fight I forget all of it. I'm just focused on you, and it feels great."

"Yeah well don't get all mushy or anything."

"I don't mean to." A comfortable silence filled the space between them. Both girls remained still, Shego's eyes flickering in excitement.

"So... next week then?"

Kim gave the ceiling a wide smile. "I'll be there."