CHAPTER THE SEVENTH

[an NEED MORE REVIEWSSZ! It's hard beingf a teen i need more self gratificatshun!]

The lights illuminating the empty stage dimmed momentarily. A collective silence of anticipation fell over the thousands-strong audience, as we waited with bated breath for our heroes to emerge.

Then the lights were back on, and we saw that B4MBV had already come onstage under cover of darkness! OMFG! There was my muso bae, Tucker Shields, mere feet away from (and above) me! I got a raging fan boner right there and then! The entire crowd burst into fervent applause. Tucker bowed humbly at the crowd that had assembled for him and his band. Then he winked specifically at me! My heart skipped a beat, like that song by the band X or whatever. I looked up at Legolas' divine face, and I could tell that beneath his veneer of coolness, he is just as excited as I was.

Tucker pushed his glorious curly bangs away from his lean, handsome face as he tuned his sexy Fender guitar. "Thanks for coming out here tonight, Rohan!" he shouted in his angelic tone. "And a special thanks to Princess Melanie for gracing this venue with her august attendance! Meet me after the show so we can shower you with, um, free fan merch!"

The crowd burst into applause for my radiance, much louder than the applause for the actual band. Legolas swoops in front of my face and French kisses me with no holds barred, and I kissed back with equal passion. Aragorn, Jon Snow and even Tucker Shields himself all looked soooo jealous of our pure, undying love, and this made me smile with sweet satisfaction. Some wolf fireworks went off in the background, enhancing the festive vibe of the concert.

Then, without further ado, B4MBV launched into Only Shallow Tears Fall, which is one of my favourite songs by them! They played with such great energy and emotion that it sounded even better than the record! (vinyl all the way bitchezzz) It was the best goffgaze concert I've ever been to, and that's saying something, because I've been to at LEAST two or three! The band stayed on point for the entire duration of the two-hour set, and Tucker's stage presence was never anything short of electrifying. Pyrotechnics went off periodically, resulting in terrific awe from the mesmerised crowd. We at the front were awash in the subtle glow of the colourful screen display onstage behind the musicians. The combined mood of music and spectacle was truly breathtaking.

After To Here Knows Where You Belong, the band left the stage. Just then, all of us started weeping solemnly, upset that this cathartic aural experience had come to an end. I don't believe there was a single dry eye in the stadium. Except for Jon Snow, who just seemed to be moping a bit. I admired his hardiness, and I kind of wanted to make out with him, but Legolas is right next to me, so never mind.

So instead, I spoke up. "Everyone! Listen!"

Everyone listened.

"You know what we need?" I shouted to the crowd.

"What do we need, beautiful Princess Melanie?" the crowd asked in uncanny unison.

"A friffing encore, bitchezzz!" I screamed intensely.

The crowd went wild.

"Let's form a friffing prayer circle, so that B4MBV might return!"

So we all arranged ourselves into a perfect circle, arms linked. We all looked like some kind of humanitarian poster, only this was real life and we weren't trying to make any particular political statement.

I was between Legolas and Aragorn. Holding hands with both of them AT THE SAME TIME was like a dream come true for me!

We all hummed devoutly, eyes closed in deep spiritual longing FOR GOFFGAZE.

Aragorn whispered sensually into my ear in a kingly voice: "Gee whiz, Melanie! This prayer circle is a great idea! The band is certain to return for an encore now!" He gave me a chaste kiss on the cheek. I was blushing sooo hard.

Legolas opens his eyes and he seems suuuper pissed off at Aragorn for some reason. "Well my appreciation for my girlfriend Melanie's idea is far greater and runs far deeper than yours. So there."

"Oh guys," I giggled understandingly. "Let's not ruin the prayer circle now!"

I glanced over at Jon Snow to see if he might join in on the veritable circlejerk of jealousy. But he seemed to be preoccupied, casting a worried glance around the venue.

"What's the matter, Ser Snapback?" I asked augustly.

"Tyrion, Bronn..." he said in a vacant, sulky British monotone. "Haven't seen my friends since the show started..."

"Maybe they've gone to get drinks," I suggested. Then a crimson shade of anger crept upon my royal face. "But they should be praying anyway, goddamn it! B4MBV aren't just going to encore themselves, you know!"

Just then, as if by magic, the band reappeared on stage.

The crowd went wild all over again, the circle gradually dispersing as we returned to our places.

"Bullet For My Bloody Valentine! Bullet For My Bloody Valentine! Bullet For My Bloody Valentine!" we all chanted ecstatically as they picked up their instruments.

Tucker cleared his throat and explained: "Usually we see encores as pretentious, and therefore consider ourselves above them. But since among our audience tonight is Melanie, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL WE HAVE EVER LAID EYES UPON, we have decided to make an exception.

The crowd changed their chant: "Melanie! Melanie! Melanie!" I joined in on that one, too. It was only proper, after all.

"Come up here, Princess Melanie," Tucker Shields continued. "Play some tunes with us!"

Legolas gives me another kiss, longer and more intense than the last one. I love how he does that.

"Good luck, babe," he croons.

"How about you join me up there, babe?" I asked wisely.

So he does.

We got up on stage. One of the band members (I don't know any of their names aside from Tucker, lol) handed Legolas a Les Paul guitar, just like the one he has back in his tent. I got my own acoustic guitar, which was signed by every single member of the band, as well as pretty much every other musician I like.

The crowd was cheering for them, for us. For me.

Then we played an incredibly noisy, feedback-drenched cover of the soulful R&B classic, Stacey's Mom.

"Stacy can't you see,

You're just not the girl for me,

I know it might be wrong,

But I'm in love with Stacy's Mom...

Read more: Fountains Of Wayne - Stacy's Mom Lyrics | MetroLyrics" I sang, gazing intently at my Elvin bae as he worked his fingers across the fretboard of his new instrument.

The concert ended with a deep sense of satisfaction for all attendees. For me most of all, because Tucker gave me a signed B4MBV shirt, as well as CDs, cassettes and vinyls of the band's entire discography. Then he gave me a kiss.

I could tell that Legolas is seething again with unadulterated jealousy, but I didn't care because Tucker is a friffing hottie. And besides, I'm a princess so this kind of thing is okay.

Just then the band's manager appeared onstage. He was wearing a cowbo hat and cowbo boots, and a gold star with the title of 'Sherriff' engraved on it. His handsome face had a plastic-y sheen to it.

"Well well why, by all the snakes that are being in my boots, that was being a totally terrific time of music and melodies as well! Just doing a letting of you fine folks know that the after-party is being at my house, and y'all are most certainly having a being invited to the shameless shindig and furthermore!" Sherriff Woody concluded.