Tell Me...

Los Angeles, 1994…

The late afternoon sun shone through the kitchen window. The sounds of running water and dishes were punctuated by grumbled mumblings and gleeful laughter. She smiled to herself and continued packing the remains of dinner. Her hands moved deftly, setting the food in the ice chest, a thermos of hot coffee sat on the counter. More laughter and then a yelp.

Evangelina sighed but didn't really mind her children's so called 'bickering'.

"No soy vieja." Guy stated. Evangelina stifled her laugh seeing her baby boy stand, hands on his waist glaring at his sister and wearing the flower printed apron with frills.

"Uh-huh." Phade giggled again.

"Dejalo en paz." Evangelina ordered with a serious look.

"Yeah, quit bugging me." Guy echoed feeling more confident now that their Mother was on his side.

"But you do look pretty." Phade teased. "All's you're missing is the pink bow and some trencitas." She ruffles his silky hair and got her hand smacked for her trouble.

"Ma!" Phade whined holding her 'injured' hand and frowning.

"Te dije que lo dejez en paz." Evangelina repeated. She couldn't deny her children were a handful but most of the time they entertained her. She decided it would be better to separate them before they really started fighting. "Es mas, tu me vas a llevar."

"What? Why-!" Guy protested but quieted down at his Mother's serious look.

"Y tu, terminas esos trastes."

Guy huffed, glanced at his sister who was grinning and somehow had managed to get out of dish duty.

"Yeah, don't leave any food on the plates or grease on the cups." Phade added as she followed her Mother out of the kitchen.

"Bien lavados, Guy." Evangelina called over her shoulder hearing the jingle of car keys in Phade's hand. She sighed knowing her daughter was taunting her little brother….

w

Dean watched TV, his eyes occasionally straying to the unconscious woman lying at his side. Reassured by the steady rise and fall of her chest he turned back to the TV. His mind wandered brought up questions, doubts… he shied away from the deal. He tried not to think about it, to think too much on the things he wanted because there wasn't any point to it now.

Again his eyes strayed to her though he quickly looked away, frowning at the TV.

How wrong was it?

Phade belonged with Ryan. She'd chosen him, more than likely the kid was theirs…

Dean had avoided thinking about that, the fact she had a husband and child.

He'd stopped trying to figure out how she'd ended up without any memory of their brief stay in Los Angeles. Now that she wasn't- or rather she hadn't- tried to kill them, Dean was ok with not bringing it up again. In all honesty he didn't want her to remember because if she didn't believe them all his insistence would leave her with doubts. She would question whether they weren't lying to her and what if she went looking for answers? What if she found the same articles he'd pulled up from the net?

Dean looked at her again, wondered if she hadn't already been snooping around, doing her own searches… If he wanted to find out he'd have to bring up the subject. In doing that he'd have to reveal a little more, tell her more than he'd already managed to get out and maybe she'd hear something that would confirm he was telling the truth… Did she want to know?

He latched onto that hope, that maybe Jaden was doing the same thing he was doing, ignoring and denying. Maybe she didn't want to know about her past…

Sam had brought up another point. A point that supported Dean's original theory that her 'amnesia' was of the mystical variety. What it didn't explain was everyone else's memory of Jaden.

It was fact she'd met their Dad, after all it had been John who took her home. Then there was Pastor Jim who couldn't exactly recall when it was Jaden had first called him for help but had on occasion taken her in. The problem with that was the Winchester's knew Jaden had been living in Los Angeles. She'd been working for the souled vampire and she couldn't have been in two places at once. And why wouldn't Pastor Jim have mentioned knowing her, even in passing or in regards to a hunt? The least he could've done was pass on the knowledge of the Devil's Trap.

And how the hell did a little old lady with that kind of knowledge go un-noticed by a hunter? Even if she did live down south and far from the US border. Someone had to have found her and the granddaughter she apparently instructed…

So maybe… maybe those memories were real? Jaden could've grown up like them. How likely was it though? Then again, she'd been calm and collected on her hunt. She'd dusted the vampires, stomped and hacked the evil little slugs, disemboweled those demon mutts and extracted information from the pustuly demon.

'But she panics over a possessed man?' Dean wondered but in her defense the demon had sucked out the old witch's life from her body. Those black slimy tentacle things had been pulsing- Dean shuddered, tried to distract himself by focusing on the movie only that had finished a while ago. Dean watched the infomercial and the perky blond listing the benefits of the product, which was?

A cream. What else.

Sam still hadn't said much, not since their last blow up.

The list.

It always came back to the names on the list, the people- a few he barely recalled meeting- friends of his Mom's. All of them dead and why did Jaden use Aldama? Was there a connection or just coincidence? It wasn't a very common last name…

Frustrated, he clicked the remote dousing the room in darkness. He made himself comfortable next to her and tried to sleep.

Los Angeles, 1994…

Running. She hadn't always hated it, not when they were little and played tag. It was fun when you were chasing someone, when you were just kids playing…

She'd never been a runner, not after they got too old to play those games. Running was Luis's sport. He and Guy did that almost every morning barring natural disasters. She thought they were nuts, told them it wasn't normal and threatened them with physical pain and embarrassment after their ungodly attempt to get her up before the sun came up. And why? To ask if she wanted to go running with them.

No. Phade did not like running, avoided participating in any sport that required her to run preferring to dance- anything with music was better than running. Phade could still run if she had too, had no problem keeping pace with her brothers so long as they didn't decide to race because she'd never beat either of them.

Their Dad always said she just needed the right motivation, something to get her moving just a little faster; burning coals under her feet had been Guy's suggestion.

'He was wrong.' Phade thought as her legs carried her further into the half built housing complex. It was her Dad's turn to keep watch over that week. The company was loosing money and materials to thieves that came in night and stole what they could find. Wood, sacks of cement, copper wire or pipes- anything they could sell. Her Dad knew there wasn't much to take but what there was they needed to get the job done. He was the over seer, he was in charge and so it fell on him to make sure the job was finished on time.

It was why Franco Vartan was sleeping at 'the office' instead of in his warm bed next to his wife. It was why Evangelina had Phade drive them out to the site to drop off his dinner. It was why she found herself running.

Phade cut through two of the house frames, slipped between the beams that outlined the floor plan and raced through the soft dirt. Dirt the landscapers would fill with grass and flowers once her Dad's part was done.

There was no moon, something she wouldn't have noticed or cared about but was a godsend that night. Phade sucked in another breath, expelled it almost immediately and took another but had nothing left with which to yell for help. She needed to scream, needed to call her for help, to warn her Dad…

Fear kept her running through the stitch in her side, past the burning in her legs and the suffocating feeling gripping her chest. Fear had kept her frozen in place while her Mother gasped her last breath, a cry for God to help her…

Tears blinded Phade but she was heading in the right direction, straight to her Dad, to safety. Because he would make it alright again. That's what he did, what a Father did.

'You're fooling yourself.'

Phade knew it was true but she couldn't let herself think about 'it'.

The man who stood over Evangelina's corpse.

The man with yellow eyes.

"Dad!" Phade gasped. Her feet pounded up the metal steps causing the trailer to sway. She banged on the door glancing over her shoulder, afraid he would be there. "Open the door! Let me in! Apa! Let me in! Abra la puerta!" she yelled switching from one language to another without noticing. It was one of her Dad's pet peeves, something he always complained about.

Phade pushed on the door, kicked it as she sobbed and then it opened. She fell into her Father's arms and tried to tell him, tried to explain… He was asking her, holding her shoulders and asking what was wrong.

"Mom…" Phade sobbed and realized the door was open.

"Que tiene tu Mamá?" Franco demanded. "Por que lloras?" He tried not to let the panic rising in his chest over power him, tried not to think of what might have happened to his wife, he tried not to think of Luciana… Phade pulled out of his grip and whirled around. The door slammed shut with Phade resting against it, as if her presence would keep it shut against the demon.

"Phade!" he scowled, once more tried to pull her from the door but she refused to move. Again, Franco looked at the door, wondered where his wife was, why she wasn't with Phade…

"Mamí…" Phade sucked in a harsh breath because saying it would make the nightmare real. There would be no more hoping she was imagining things, that her Dad could fix this. However much she wished he could make things right again, Franco Vartan just wasn't God.

'For all the good that does us.'

Her lack of faith wasn't new to her family and her parents didn't accept it. They forced her into church every Sunday, put her in catechism classes with Guy and paraded her along with the other sheep up to the altar to repeat her prayers and answer the questions the Priest asked.

They all ignored her repeated protests, said she couldn't have seen a man with yellow eyes because real people didn't have yellow eyes. They got mad and told her to stop lying. She got smacked for saying anything about Aunt Luc and the 'accident'. And all she heard people say, heard them repeat to her Dad was; "These things happen for a reason…"

The hollow words repeated by everyone, what they fell back on when their fucked up lives took a wrong turn and they found themselves asking why. That platitude people offered up in comfort when there wasn't an explanation that could make sense of such tragedies.

"Donde esta!" her Dad yelled. Phade could hear the strain in his voice, the way he looked at her like he already knew but wanted her to say it wasn't real.

Wasn't he supposed to say that to her? Wasn't it his responsibility as a parent to comfort her?

She shook her head, the words stuck in her throat as more tears ran down her face.

The look in her Mother's eyes… She'd been scared- an echo of Aunt Luc…

"Que le paso!" Franco yelled. "Contestame!" He grabbed her shoulders roughly, pulling her away from the door and demanded answers but what could she say? What would they believe?

w

Jaden started awake. She threw her arms out still feeling her Father shaking her and yelling, felt him pulling her down again when she tried to push him away…

"You were dreaming. Jaden." Dean repeated drawing her face around to his. "It was just a dream." He murmured seeing her eyes focus on him. He kept his arm around her, tried to soothe the nightmare away by whispering to her. He used the same tone he'd used on Sammy when they were younger. He tried to look in her eyes but Jaden pushed his arm away, pulled herself out of his arms and sat up.

Whatever shed been dreaming, whoever she'd been fighting with, it left her feeling anxious, jumpy… She winced, her hand moved to the gauze at her neck but instead of touching the bite she flipped her hair over her shoulder. Beside her, Dean sat up, one hand resting on the covers by her knee. Jaden closed her eyes and willed herself not to give in, not to drop her guard, not to fall in his arms and let him hold her, offer her a moment of peace, a moment away from the world and all its fucked up problems.

Again, she saw their faces. She saw the fear in their eyes… they'd tried to speak, tried to say… something… some warning… last words of caution…

"It was real."

Dean heard her whisper, heard her words and frowned because there was no mistake as to what she meant. He just didn't know what had been torturing her in her sleep.

Jaden went against her better judgment, ignored the little voice in her head telling her she needed to keep quiet, needed to forget the memories she'd tried to keep buried and just go on as she had been doing.

Hunting.

Jaden began with a truth she'd hidden from the few people she considered friends. No one outside of her family knew why…

"A demon killed my Mom."

Dean stiffened.

"Right before senior year…" she dropped her eyes to the coverlet. "Everything just fell apart. My Dad…" the sting of tears burned in her throat. She focused on the geometric pattern in front of her, saw the stray threads and pulled on them.

"How do you know?" Dean asked. His voice sounded harsh and he made the effort to soften his tone. "You saw it? The demon?" he leaned closer, his hand sliding up her arm but she didn't seem to notice.

"That smell." Jaden made a face, her nose scrunching at the memory. "It was all around, the stench from hell..." Her fingers pulled on the thread tearing a large piece off until she had the coverlet coming apart. "Sulfur." She clasped her hands together ignoring Dean's hand as it fell away from hers. "I told my Dad." The words just came out, too easily, too trusting... "Just like I told him about Aunt Luc." Anger filled her remembering them, remembering their reactions… "You know what he said?" she asked finally looking at him. "What they all said?" she glared at him, her brown eyes bright in the dark room. It seemed as if Jaden was blaming him along with those others. "They said I was traumatized." She scoffed with disgust. "You believe that? Me. Traumatized." She ground out and fixed her eyes on the mirror across the room. "Because a demon tore a hole in my Mom's chest while I hid in a fucking corner. Because I hid where she told me instead of getting help. Because I was too scared to do a damn thing-!" she vibrated with anger, bit her lip so the words would stop. Dean could see her knuckles were white. He took her hand hoping she didn't stop talking. He was finally getting some answers, some of her past but what this had to do with her 'amnesia' he still didn't know. What he was beginning to realize was that her Mother was on Sam's list. Just like her Aunt was one of those names but he still didn't know how they were connected.

"I was scared…" Jaden whispered. She let out a heavy sigh, her shoulders drooped. Jaden raised her free hand and pinched the bridge of her nose, squeezing her eyes closed to get rid of the tears threatening to spill over. "John warned me."

"What?" Dean frowned.

"People don't always believe kids." Jaden could almost hear the raspy soothing voice of Johnwhisper in her head. "They don't know what's out there; have never come up against something like tonight. It's easier to pretend they're all stories." He'd been… nice, had tried to comfort her when everyone else was telling her she was crazy. John had reassured her in a way that made her feel less alone, not so much a crazy person like her family was saying. "Truth is, fiction is based on fact."

For months after, Jaden had wondered if it wouldn't have been better to be raised by a family who knew the truth. To have a Father that would understand and believe…

"He said it was easier to pretend you didn't really see the ghost or ghoul or whatever supernatural thing that crossed your path. He said people avoided those kinds of truths." A flash of anger passed over her features. "They'd never believe me…" Again, she hid her face from him so he couldn't see how that hurt. To know the one person who was supposed to love her, the one person she was supposed to trust, to have her best interest at heart… her Dad would never believe.

"You didn't believe me." Dean said. "When I told you we hunted ghosts."

"Again…" Jaden sighed tiredly and shook her head, tried to keep the fight in the alley from bringing up that hallucination-.

"No, not again Jaden." He wasn't going to let her brush this away. "I've been trying to tell you-."

"Ok." Jaden cut in softly. She scooted back against the head board and rested her hands in her lap. It was a simple 'Ok' but what he had to say wasn't so easy. Dean hesitated, did he dare?

If he told her everything she'd most likely not believe him. So the question was, did he really want to lie? Was that how he'd win her? Because she'd chosen. She'd made her life in Los Angeles, with her family…

'She belongs with them… It's where she should be.' Knowing it didn't make the ache he felt any easier to bear. He was dead in a couple of months anyway… he was going to hell… so why hide the truth from her?

"Ok." He sat straight, once more put up his walls, readied himself to pretend he didn't care one way or another, to fake indifference… "You've got people in Los Angeles. Family." He couldn't help the slight hint of disapproval coloring his words. Jaden noticed, she rolled her eyes but otherwise said nothing. She knew her brothers, sisters and Father were there. Just like she knew what they thought about her and her choices. They'd voiced their opinions plenty before she'd left Los Angeles for good. So what did this perfect stranger know about her life in LA.

'He doesn't know shit. That's what he doesn't know. Nothing I don't already know.'

So Jaden kept her mouth shut and listened stubbornly refusing to think about the hallucination in the alley.

"We walked into the Hyperion to get a room. Sam's idea." Dean barely smiled. She'd held them at sword point and had almost given his little brother another smile. "You told us it wasn't that kind of hotel, pretty much kicked us out."

"Let me guess," Jaden interrupted dryly. "You didn't leave."

"You gave us a room." He smiled. Jaden crossed her arms but he wasn't going to tell her about his busted shower or the cold bath she'd knowingly let him get into. That she didn't need to be reminded of.

"Right." She said. "Only I don't remember that. Or helping you. I never took your brother to see some purple skinned demon-." And how the hell did she know about that?

'Tinga.' Her face paled.

She turned and saw Tinga framed in the rounded arch. She smiled at him once again admiring the flowing waves of violet hair that framed his aquiline features. He had two thin braids threaded with a thin silver chain on either side of his face and Phade could see a silver hoop in his ear. If she hadn't touched those beautiful eyes Phade would still think he lined them with kohl. But the gray cat like eyes framed by dark violet lashes looked smokier than ever. Phade was envious.

Tinga's allure was difficult to resist but not impossible even for humans. He never took advantage of you in this weakened state unless of course you really wanted him too. The demons from his home all had this extra pheromone that was constantly active; it was like being in heat 24/7 when you were exposed to them…

"And I'm definitely not some Amazon woman with special powers fighting some mystical war in another plane or dimension." She glared pushing the hazy picture out of her mind. Jaden felt the heat flush her face and ignored that as well. "This is all a big fairy tale you made up and I'm not sure why but its all because of him." Jaden jabbed an angry finger towards the opposite wall, where Dean knew Sam was probably awake. She was going to blame all the cooky-weird stuff on the evil Winchester.

'No way in hell is any of this real.'

"I'm not making anything up, J." but it was useless to argue the point with her, not when she was stubbornly refusing to listen to him. He'd told her some of the truth or tired to and again she called him a liar. He was getting tired of that, of insisting she listen to him. So why not let the matter drop? There would be another chance, another opportunity to try and convince her they weren't lying, that Sam wasn't evil…

"What was her name?"

Jaden looked confused for a second then realized who Dean was asking about. She dropped her arms and pulled her knees up to her chest.

Curiosity, its what killed the cat though whose no one knew for sure. Dean wasn't a cat but he was going to hell in a couple of months so what did he care if curiosity got him first?

'I'm already dead.' His guts knotted in protest. 'Get used to it. You know there's no way out of this. Not this time.' There was nothing anyone could do and he was going to remind himself of that whenever he felt the panic rise up to choke him, when Sam started up with another one of his plans and they got their hopes up.

Jaden dropped her head onto her knees; her fingers found the edge of her dress and plucked at the black lace.

"Evangelina Aldama." She spoke softly; barely a whisper and Dean had to lean closer to hear. "That was my Mom's name."

The silence lengthened and then Dean slowly wrapped his arms around her. Jaden didn't resist, instead she rested her head on his shoulder then buried her face in his chest with a little shudder.

"You're scared Buffy. You're afraid you'll get your heart broken or loose another loved one so you pull away from friends, family, lovers…"

The whisper of words in her head was true for herself and whoever this Buffy girl was… Jaden hoped one of them got the happily ever after.

w


AN: So here ends the bet and I'm not saying who won. lol. But now you know she has a reason for hunting and in PENANCE you find out more. So go on and read if you like and if you don't well that's tough cookies.