Longest chapter yet. Hope that's okay.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.


Chapter 7

After Eliza was born, we'd visited Lima. Not a lot. And we never got far away from our parents' houses. Or Hudson's. The more famous Rachel got, the harder it was for her to escape the press, but in Lima we were safe. Sure there were nosy people and shit… but we were careful not to announce she was coming. For that reason, we didn't run into many people. That was a blessing.

That being said, none of us were too keen on heading back. The accident and everything surrounding it had been headlined news all over the country. And Lima was definitely in the spotlight. They'd interviewed a few people we'd gone to high school with… I didn't remember any of them. Rachel probably would have, but she didn't watch them.

But sorta like everything else, we just had to go with it. I wasn't sure about Q and Britts coming, for several reasons, but apparently they'd been home a few times over the last couple of years too. And Rachel had specifically asked for them to come… so they came.

After Rachel got back from her walk that day, she went back to sorta pre-Quinn visit in some ways. She stayed in her room. She slept. She wasn't drinking as much and that was good. But we were on door duty more days than not. Some days she'd let Britts in. Some days Q. Most days I could talk my way in to the room, but she wouldn't speak to me. She wasn't saying much of anything to any of us.

More times than not, she was living in this in-between space. We'd catch her walking around like she didn't know where she was. One time I found her in the driveway. Q found her on the beach a couple of nights later. Kurt found her pacing the deck the next day. Brittany found her sitting in the shower. Every time she was confused and disoriented. We just led her back to the bedroom and watched her sleep.

We flew out a week later. I had my interview and was starting work next month. I didn't mention my famous friend and her famous tragedy, but my fucking face had ended up all over everything anyway, and they knew who I was.

The reason that I took the job was that they pretended that they didn't.

Rachel's manager had arranged for a private jet to fly us out and Hiram met us at the airport. It was a short drive to the Berry's house. I wasn't sure why, but we'd all decided to stay there. I mean shit, I knew why. No one wanted to leave her. We hadn't really discussed sleeping arrangements, but Rach was in zombie mode so we just decided to wing it. I was happy to have Brit with us. And learning to tolerate Q. That was enough. My mami was coming by later. So was Q's. Britt's parents were stopping by tomorrow.

The Hummels and Hudsons were meeting us there.


To be honest, I was slightly worried about Rachel seeing Lucas. The little boy had just turned five. He was three years older than Eliza but he always loved to see her. He played with her and was always really sweet. I told Rach he got that from his mom, Kara. But to be honest, it was just a Hudson thing to do.

Both their cars were in the driveway when we pulled up. Hiram told us they were gonna be there, but Rachel hadn't said much about it. Kara and Carol met us outside.

Kurt squealed. He loved his stepmother and I was honestly glad he got to see her again. Circumstances aside.

Kara hugged Kurt and then walked up to Rachel. "I'm so happy to see you," she said. She hugged Rachel as well. The chick was completely genuine. She'd loved Rachel from the first moment she met her three years ago.

Q's face was screwed up. She couldn't understand it either. "Don't ask," I muttered so only she could hear.

After an inordinate amount of fucking hugs and introductions, we went inside.

"Lucas is so excited to see you," Kara began. "He's downstairs with Burt…" She didn't finish before Kurt jetted off. She grinned at that. "He's just a little confused and well, we didn't want to…" She frowned. "We didn't want him to upset you. So if you aren't up to it, Burt can take him home."

Lucas had stayed with his other grandparents while the Hummels and Finn and Kara had been in California for the funeral.

Rachel smiled for the first time in six days. "I'd love to see him, Kara." She turned to look at me. "I'm sure Santana would as well."

I nodded. "Of course," I answered. Cause Rachel wanted me to.

Brittany clapped her hands. "I can't wait to meet him," she smiled.

Q just nodded. She didn't trust anything right now. She was never more than ten feet from Rachel. To be honest, I was never more than five.

"I'll go get him," Kara said.

And when she walked to the stairs, Finn was walking up.

"Rach," he said. He pulled her into a hug.

It was always weird watching him hug her. When we were younger, I had the constant desire to stab him. I was never sure why. I think it was because he looked like he was gonna swallow her or something.

But… he honestly cared about her. Loved her. And when he hugged her, she broke once again.

I saw Carol's tears the same time I saw Britt's. She led her into the kitchen with Hiram and Leroy.

It was awkward. Me and Q just standing there while they hugged and she cried. He was trying not to cry but it wasn't working out that well for him. I chanced a look at Q's face...

Dios mío… I grabbed her arm and drug her out before whatever the hell it was she was thinking spilled out of her mouth.

I threw open the back door and pulled her onto the patio. "Get that shit in check, Fabray," I snarled.

She had that controlled anger face going on. She was about to explode. "I'm fine, Lopez," she hissed.

I rolled my eyes and let go of her arm. "You show your dumb ass in there and Rachel will never forgive you. I know you got some misguided jealous tendencies when it comes to Hudson, but you best swallow that bullshit right now."

She started to speak, but stopped herself. She decided to take a few breaths instead. "The last conversation Finn and I had wasn't what you'd called pleasant."

I could only imagine. "Tough shit. They're over their differences. You get to be over yours."

"He still loves her," she mumbled.

I groaned. "So does half the world, Q. You're gonna give yourself a serious ulcer worrying about who loves Rachel more." I sighed. "Be glad people fucking care about her and stop wanting to piss all over the territory you've assumed is yours."

"Let's just go back inside." She seemed a bit calmer but I didn't trust that shit.

I shook my head. "No. Listen up. Luke's in there. And he's a kid. So suck it up and smile and play nice. And if Hudson takes a swing at you, I expect you to be the bigger person and take the fucking hit." I thought for a second. "And be nice to the wife. She's cool."

The muscles were flexing in her jaw. "Does she know? That Finn has that one true love thing for Rachel?" She sounded disgusted.

I shrugged. "I figure she does. Gotta be a bigger person than us if she can overlook it, huh?"

She turned to walk back inside. "Or dumber," she muttered.

Fucking A. I shook my head and followed her in.

Hiram met us at the door. "Burt and I are grabbing your bags out of the car," he said. "You're all staying here?" He was looking at me, but he was totally talking to Q.

Leroy had what you could call a forgiving nature. H, not so much. I absolutely got him there.

I nodded. "Is that fine?"

"Of course," he said. He looked at Quinn then. "Does you mother know you've landed?"

She nodded. She was definitely back to shy mode. A result of years of being an asshat, I guessed. "Yes. I spoke to her last night." She bit her lip, like she was thinking. "I'm very sorry for your loss, Mr. Berry." Props to her for looking him in the face and all.

He nodded back. "Your mother sent a beautiful card and has been by a few times to check on me since I've gotten back. She's even brought me dinner. She's a wonderful person. I wish I could've gotten to know her under different circumstances." He looked away.

Q was totally stunned. Apparently Judy hadn't mentioned this to her. She was mulling over what to say when he walked off.

"That's kinda weird," I said, just to kill the silence.

"My mom's all about the PFLAG now," she answered me. "Guess she has to be with a lesbian for a daughter."

I shrugged. Stranger things had happened.


When we got back to the living room, Carol and Brittany were sitting with Rachel and Leroy. I guessed Finn had gone downstairs to get the kid.

Quinn sat on the other side of Rachel and I took a seat across the room. I could see her face better from here. I was extremely worried about this. Rachel always had a soft spot in her heart for Lucas, and I loved that about her. But he was gonna probably be asking some really difficult questions.

Kurt brought him up a few minutes later.

"Look who I found," Kurt said. "He was hiding behind the couch the whole time."

The kid was a smart blend of his mother and Hudson. He had that easygoing personality and genuine smile. He walked in slowly, mom and dad trailing nervously behind him.

"Hi," he said. He was biting his lip.

"Hi," Brittany answered first.

Carol smiled. "This is Brittany, Luke. She's a friend of your daddy and uncle Kurt's. They went to school together. She's a dancer. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

He smiled at her. "Yep."

I was watching Rachel. She was… I wasn't sure, really. Not smiling. But not frowning. She was just sort of watching him.

"Daddy," she turned to Leroy. "Can you get my bag?"

I had no idea what the hell she needed her purse for. I hoped I'd gotten all the pill bottles out. Q shot me a look and I shrugged as softly as I could in response.

Her purse was sitting next to Papa B, so he handed it to her. She opened it up and pulled out a present wrapped in blue and orange wrapping paper. My first thought was how the fuck had she fit that in her purse…

"I missed your birthday," she told Luke. "I've had this for a few weeks though and I remembered to bring it. Because little boys only turn five once." She smiled at him.

He smiled back, obviously wanting to take the toy and rip into it. Someone though, probably his mother if I was a betting woman, had taught the kid manners. "My mommy said Lizzie's in heaven."

Seven people held their breath.

Rachel just nodded.

"I'm gonna miss her." He frowned.

"Me too, sweetie." She frowned back. I couldn't breathe. She held the gift out. "You can have it. It's yours."

"Thank you, Aunt Rachel," he said, walking closer to her. He took the package "Can I open it?" He asked her.

"Of course you can. That's why I brought it." She patted his hand.

Brittany was sitting on one side of Rach and Q was on the other. Brittany was trying to smile at him. Quinn's face was a mask. I knew what the fuck she was thinking though.

"Rach," Finn started. "You didn't have…"

She held up her hand. "Stop. Of course I did."

I noticed Kara's face. They were sharing a look. We were all kinda holding our breath still. I wasn't sure if she was gonna break or not, but I kinda wanted to see what the hell she'd gotten him at least.

He pulled the paper off as fast as he could. He held up the box to his daddy as his eyes lit up. "It's an iPad!" He squealed. "Look Daddy!" He was jumping up and down. "Thanks, Aunt Rachel," he said, jumping into her arms. "You're my favorite aunt ever."

She held him to her. "You're my favorite little boy ever," she said. She smiled at Kara. "I hope this okay. It's a kid friendly one. They're new. He can play games and surf safely. I know he likes to play with yours, so I thought we should get him one that fit into his hands and was a bit more indestructible."

Kara nodded. "Of course it's okay. Uh… thank you. You really didn't have to…"

Rachel shook her head. "It was his birthday. I forgot to call him. I couldn't not…" And then her voice choked.

And fuck.

"I'm Quinn," Q said, leaning up and offering her hand to the little boy before Rach could start crying. Quick thinking on her part. Cause that totally caught every one of us off guard. "We haven't met," she smiled at him.

He settled into Rachel's lap, clutching the box to his chest with one hand and shaking her hand with the other. "I'm Luke and I seed you before in the pictures."

Quinn's eyebrow shot up. "Pictures?"

He nodded. "Uh huh. My daddy has pictures when he's in one of those black suits," he scrunched up his nose and looked at Finn. "What's it called?"

"Tuxedo," Kurt answered for him.

"Yeah, Tuxedo. You had a dress on." He studied her. She was in shorts and a t-shirt. He looked like he couldn't believe she'd had on a dress before. Looking at her now, I couldn't blame him.

She started to answer him, but he just turned back to Rachel. Gotta love a kid's attention span. "Can I play music on this, Aunt Rachel?"

She nodded. "Sure you can."

He hopped down and ran over to Kurt. "Will you show me how?"

Kurt scooped him up. "Of course I will," he said, kissing his cheek. "Let's go find your grandpa and see if he can get the box open. I don't want to break a nail."

I rolled my eyes but figured I'd refrain since half the people in the room were de facto related to his little fairy ass.

"You have a really cool kid," Brittany said, breaking the silence. She stood up and walked over to Finn. "You look good too." She hugged him.

"Thanks, Britt. I've seen a few of your music videos. Your dance moves still kinda amaze me."

Kara laughed. "You'd think the amount of time he spent around all of you would've rubbed off somewhat. He may be the worst dancer I've ever met."

Brittany nodded, even as we laughed. "No, he totally is. You're right about that."

Had to love my girl's honesty.

Carol stood up. "I'm going to find the boys and make sure no one broke a nail," she announced. She smiled at Rachel. "Thanks for the gift, Rachel. You remain one of the few people who can constantly amaze me."

Rachel smiled softly at that. "I try," she offered.

Leroy smiled too. "I'm going to find my husband and make sure he got the bags put away," he said, following Carol out.

Q was watching Finn. They hadn't spoken to each other, but if my estimations were correct they'd made eye contact at least half a dozen times. I wasn't sure when the ice was gonna break. I decided to just say fuck it and break it myself.

I stood up. "So Hudson, this is Fabray. Fabray, Hudson." I said, eyeing the both of them.

"Quinn," he muttered.

"Finn," she uttered back.

Holy shit, I needed a drink.

"Hey," Britt interrupted. "Did you guys not recognize each other? That's really weird."

"Nah Britts, they recognize each other." I smiled at her. "Just trying to break the tension that was high school drama and has no place in this house right now," I pointedly added.

Kara was the one who broke us from said tension though. At least for a moment anyway. "Rachel, I was wondering if I could show you something? I don't mean to monopolize your time or anything, but I just wanted…"

Rachel stood up before she could finish. "Sure," she answered sweetly.

Kara smiled at me and Britt. "Would you like to join us?"

Britt nodded, even as I shook my head.

"You guys go. I'm thinking I need to stay here." I pulled Brittany aside, when they walked out. "Her pills are in my bag. Don't let her near it. H should've locked the wine up, but… she's resourceful when she's nervous." I whispered.

Brittany smiled and nodded. "I'm a good bodyguard, S. No worries." She leaned over to whisper in my ear. "Heads up – Q's about to have a stroke. I know you wanna hit her sometimes, but don't let her, okay?"

I nodded. "Tit for tat, B."

She patted me on the back.

For their part, Hudson and Q hadn't knocked off the staring contest since the others left. I cleared my throat. "Okay, dipshits. Get this out now. Cause we are not wading around in this fucking weird ass pissing contest all weekend." I moved closer and sat down next to Q. "Good to see you, b dubs," I told him.

"You too, Santana." He said. He sat down in the chair across from the couch. "I have to admit I was shocked to hear about you coming."

Quinn clenched her fists.

"You had to have known Q's been at Rach's. You talk to Kurt everyday." I cut in.

He nodded. "Seeing and believing are sometimes two different things. He said you'd changed," he offered, looking at Quinn. "He wasn't exaggerating."

She quirked her eyebrow. "Is that an insult?"

I cleared my throat. "Let the damn man make an observation, Q." I cut my eyes at her. We'd just fucking talked about this. Take the fucking hit and shut up. I might as well had been talking to a badger.

"You shouldn't have come," Hudson stated, standing up.

I groaned inwardly.

She jumped up and moved closer to him. Cause apparently everything I'd told her not ten minutes earlier was definitely me just wasting my breath. I stood beside her. Quiet Quinn was fucking scarier than Raging Quinn.

"Rachel's in pain. And there's no doubt in my mind that you're going to take advantage of it. Because that's what you do." He was basically growling at this point.

He was watching her face. Me too for that matter. She definitely had that motherfucking calm before the shitstorm of the century currently crossing it.

"You were always jealous of Rachel," he continued, because apparently he'd left his brain in his wife's purse. Guess she let him keep his balls. "You wanted what she had. Her voice. Her kindness. Her boyfriend…" he snarled. "Now you want her pain. It's amazing how you can make that about you. Even here daughter's death. I wondered how low you would stoop, but I had no idea…"

… And holy shit she was fast! I jumped and grabbed her around the waist. He was fucking smart enough to jump back. She was wriggling, and she was fucking strong. "Stop it, dumbass," I said, as loud as I dared.

Scariest shit about all of this… she wasn't speaking. She stopped moving though.

I let her go and slid between them. I held one hand behind my back, to keep her in place, and poked him in the chest with the other one. "Listen up. I get you don't want her here. And I keep having to make this announcement, but this isn't fucking about you, Hudson. Fall in line."

He rolled his eyes. "And when did you become her biggest cheerleader?"

"Fuck you both. I don't really give two shits about your drama. I just don't want Rachel to see you posturing about like two jackasses. Get over it." I snarled.

He smirked. "Do you know why she's here? Ask her. She's talked herself into believing she loved Rachel. She thinks that that makes up for all the hell she put her through."

I groaned. "How many years ago was that, dude? Seriously. Get over it. If you've forgotten you've got a wife in the other room. And a son. Neither one of you is Rachel's knight in shining armor."

"You can't possibly believe her," he growled.

I started to answer him, but Rachel beat me to it. "Finn." Fuck. I hadn't even seen her walk in.

We all three turned around to look at her. She was standing in the archway, one arm around her waist.

"Rach," Quinn started. Her voice had completely gone soft.

Rach ignored her. "Finn," she said again. "Kara told me what you planned… I… uh…" Her eyes filled with tears. "I know it's too late to cancel it, but I really wish you'd have asked me first."

We both spun around to him.

"I just thought…"

Rachel held up her hand. "It's fine. Just, don't…" she waved her hand toward Q. "I wanted Quinn to come. She's been nothing but kind to me this last week. I don't know what you're arguing about, but I don't want Kara to hear you. Or Lucas. So please stop." She smiled sadly at me. "Brittany is teaching him how to dance." It was the first time I'd noticed the glass in her hand. Fucking Hiram.

"Whatcha drinking?" I asked.

She shrugged at me.

I tried not to moan. I looked at Hudson instead. "And what the fuck is she talking about?"

"I just invited some of the old gang, you know, to a memorial service. Nothing fancy… just…" he looked away.

Quinn didn't bother biting back her own moan. "You are still a moron," she muttered. She frowned at Rachel. "Are you okay?" She asked, moving closer to her. She put her hand on Rachel's glass.

Rach held the glass tighter. "I'm fine. I'm going to spend some time with my dad. Please don't fight," she frowned, eyeing Q. She brushed a piece of Quinn's hair out of her eyes. "It's silly. I asked you to come. So you're arguing about something that's pointless basically. Don't; okay?"

I watched Quinn's shoulders deflate. She was nodding, even as she continued to eye the glass. "Wanna give me that?" She asked hopefully.

Ha. Good luck with that.

"No thank you," Rachel answered. She smiled at her. "Be nice, Santana," she said, winking. She turned around and walked away.

Gotta give the girl credit for knowing me. As soon as she was gone, I poked him in the chest again. "Have you lost your fucking mind?" He backed up. "Who the fuck did you invite to this little shindig? Do you even realize we don't talk to these people? That Rachel is The fucking Rachel Berry. You can't just throw a memorial service. Jesus Christ!"

"It's just the Glee members. The original ones. Even Mercedes and Sam…" He was frowning. I guess the clue he needed to get hit him all of a sudden. "Does she always drink?"

Q stepped around me. "The only thing keeping me from kicking your ass is Rachel, Finn Hudson." She was the one poking him in the chest this time. "I know what you did that day. I know it's because you figured it out, didn't you? You knew how she felt…" what the fuck was she talking about? "I get it now."

He held her gaze. "So go tell her," he challenged.

She shook her head. "I wouldn't stoop to your level. I was hoping you'd changed. I was wrong about that. But not surprised."

"What the hell?" I asked them.

They both just stared.


Quinn paced the floor of her living. Back. Forth. It was ten o'clock. Or three minutes after. She kept glancing at the time.

"You're going to wear a hole in floor, Quinnie." Her mother was watching from the doorway. "What time does her train leave?"

"Twelve thirty," Quinn muttered.

"You've got plenty of time then. Sit down. I know you and Rachel have become friends and I know you're going to miss her, but you'll only be an hour away from her in a month."

Quinn ignored her mother and continued pacing. Her mother was right. About all of it. But what she didn't know was that today was going to potentially be the day that every single thing in her life changed. The thought was causing her to panic.

She'd decided to just tell Rachel. That was simple. Just tell her how she felt. She'd been spending so much time with her lately, and she'd… she'd had a million chances. But she'd chickened out every single time. She just couldn't find the words to say it out loud. Well maybe once... maybe she knew. But... The fear of rejection was scary to most people, but to Quinn it was downright fucking terrifying.

Instead, she'd spent hours writing it all down. Pages and pages. And then she'd revised it. Rewrote it and addressed the letter to Rachel. She'd bought Rachel a going away gift – a music box – and inside she'd put the letter. She figured Rachel would get it when she got to New York. Rejection was easier to deal with ten hours away.

She held the gift in her hand. And continued pacing. She was about to just get in her car and take it to Rachel's house. Leave it with her fathers and walk out. She could get in her car and just drive until she could breathe properly again. She saw her keys lying on the coffee table and went to grab them. That's when she noticed her phone vibrating. It was Finn.

***Rach wanted me to text U. She took early train. 2 excited bout NY. Said C U later.***

Quinn read the message four times before she threw the phone and the gift against the wall and ran to her room.

Her phone shattered. The music box stayed intact.


I ran my hands through my hair and sighed at the two of them. They were about as stupid as I was frustrated.

"So in case you two fuckwads, didn't notice, Rachel is drinking. I'll leave you to beat the hell out of each other. Just go outside and do it," I muttered, walking off from the epic staring contest they were having.


Ten minutes later – still no sign of Rachel. We'd looked all over the house. Britts felt like shit cause Rachel told her she was going to the bathroom. Wasn't her fault though. It was totally these two morons standing in front of me frowning.

"Look, she couldn't have gone far," I told the room. "We just need to calm down." I took a deep breath. "You guys head out front and look," I told Kurt and the Hummel-Hudsons. "We'll head out back."

They nodded. I was trying to separate Q and Finn anyway. Quinn kept touching something in her pocket. It was probably her cell phone, but I wouldn't put it passed her to have a shank in there. The last thing I needed to deal with right now was her gutting his ass.

"Where's Rachel?" Lucas asked.

"Napping," I told him before they could answer.

He nodded like that made sense and followed his dad out the front door.


"Rachel?" Leroy called into the backyard as soon as we walked out.

I sighed. I wondered how deep she'd gotten into that bottle.

"Rach?" Brittany tried.

"Rachel Barbra Berry!" I was a little more forceful.

I looked up to see Quinn standing on the other side of the big tree in the yard. "Over here," she called out. She was staring at something. I assumed it was my tiny little friend.

Everyone ran over.

"Where's Kurt?" Was the first thing out of her mouth.

Her dad sighed. "We've been looking for you for ten minutes. They're walking up and down the street. You can't just wander off like that, honey."

Leroy nodded. "You scared us. Please don't do that."

Brittany was frowning. I had my arms crossed and followed Q's eye line. I tried to figure out how much she'd drank but I wasn't sure if the bottle had been opened when she found it. "Serious, H…"

He looked stricken. "I forgot it was there. It was in the back of the pantry." Damn it. Did I have to do everything?

She sighed. "Please stop hiding the liquor, Santana. I'm not a child." She eyed her dad. "And I'm not going to get lost. I need to be alone right now. So please go tell Kurt and the others I'm fine."

The Berry men caught my eye. They deferred to all things Lopez when it came to my demands. I motioned with my head back towards the house. And just like that – they turned around and walked back.

She closed her eyes and slowly shook her head. "You're authority still astounds me," She took another drink.

Brittany sat down cross-legged a few feet away from her. "You lied to me."

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I know she told you to watch me. I shouldn't have lied."

She nodded. "If you want a drink, you should have one. You're an adult. Just don't tell me you're going to the bathroom if you're not. You don't have to trick me, Rach."

Pain crossed her face. I knew the feeling. No one liked lying to B. "Okay."

Quinn and I sat down across from each other. We were arranged in a tight little circle at the base of the tree. Kumbaya had definitely come back to bite me in the ass.

Rachel gazed back and forth. "What was that about? With Finn earlier?"

We shared a look and then Q shook her head at me discreetly. I agreed and nodded back. "It was nothing," she said. "If we're gonna sit out here with you, you're gonna have to share though."

I nodded. "I've been needing a fucking drink since we got here." And I wasn't lying.

Brittany shrugged. "I haven't," she smiled. "But now I kinda want one too."

"Pass the bottle around, Berry." Quinn smiled.

She handed it to her. "If you pour it out, I'm going to…" She thought for a second. "…jump in the pool."

Jesus. She wasn't fucking kidding either. "Nobody's gonna pour it out. That's good bourbon."

Quinn turned up the bottle like a professional. She didn't even grimace. She handed it to Brittany, who did make a face. I tipped it back and handed it to Rach. After she had her own drink, we started the process all over again. It was strange watching to be honest. We were just passing a bottle around, not talking. On the third pass, it was almost empty.

I spoke first. "Wanna talk?" I asked her.

She shrugged. We were all feeling the alcohol. "I want to spread her ashes."

We held our breath. She hadn't mentioned that.

"I want to scatter some at the beach. When we get home. But…" she sighed, and motioned for the bottle. Brittany handed it to her. She took another drink. "When I was little, I helped my daddy plant that rosebush." She motioned with her hand to her left. We turned and looked at the same time. "When I was sad or whatever…I would always pick a rose off the bush, I mean when they were in season. There was something about plucking each petal off the rose, it sort of was like plucking a piece of pain away…" she shook her head, trying to focus. "Anyway, when we were here last, Eliza wanted to come outside everyday and pick a rose. Do you remember that?" she asked me.

I looked away, nodding.

She made eye contact with Quinn and Brittany instead. "Everyday, she'd say 'wose,' and beg us to come outside. She loved the smell and she liked to wear the flowers in her hair." I watched her bite her lip "It sounds silly…"

Brittany shook her head. "No it doesn't. It's your memory, Rach. It's not silly."

"I don't know about Saturday…" She finally said.

Saturday was the day Kara said Finn had planned the memorial. I felt sick even thinking about it.

"We can call it off," I said.

"Services are for grieving families. And if you don't want one…" Quinn sighed. "…he should've asked you." She started to say more but closed her mouth suddenly. She shook her head. "Where's the treehouse?"

Rachel seemed surprised. "You remember that?"

She nodded. "Of course I do."

"What fucking treehouse?" I asked.

"I had a treehouse when I was little. My dads tore it down after I went to college. It was rotting or something." She turned back to Quinn. "I slept in it one night senior year…"


Quinn Fabray was drunk. Like belligerent, crazy, hobo drunk. She couldn't remember ever being this drunk. There was that one time the whole club had dipped into the alcohol vat, but damn… she was close to falling over.

"This is the stupidest idea you've ever had, Q." Puck said, taking a left turn. He was sober. A real first honestly.

"You took her home," she drawled. "And you didn't tell me." She smacked his arm.

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't know I needed to run my risk management by you."

"Well you do," she muttered, crossing her arms.

It was the Saturday night after Nationals and the club was celebrating their win. Santana had scored a lot of alcohol, Quinn still wasn't sure how, and threw a party for the rest of Glee. There'd been a lot of singing. And a lot more drinking.

Puck sighed dramatically. "First, I didn't drink because you dumbasses are knocking it back like it's 1999 and second of all I turn into teenage girls' cab service. When we get back, I'm back on the bottle."

"I'm not going back," she slurred. "I'm gonna find Berry."

He shook his head at just how drunk she was. "I've already told you five thousand times, she's at home. I'm not sure what you're doing, but… you need to lay off, Q."

"Why'd you take her home anyway?" She asked, sipping a beer.

"Cause she said she wanted to go home. She was having a good time. And then she wasn't. I don't know. She didn't talk in the car." He pulled onto Rachel's street. "You just gonna walk up to her door? Knock?"

"Her dads aren't home tonight…"

He decided he didn't want to know how she knew that.

She had her hand on the door handle before he'd even put the car in park. "I'm coming in with you."

She shrugged.

They rang the doorbell first. Then they knocked. Puck had an epiphany and tried the doorknob before Q knocked a hole through the door.

"Rachel?" He called into the house. "You home?"

"Rach!" Quinn slurred beside him. "Where are you hiding, Rachel Berry?" Her voice had a singsong quality Puck had never heard before. "Rach…el," She called out. She saw the back door was open. "She's out back."

She walked out and Puck had a minor freak out worried that Rachel had fallen in the pool or something equally horrible. He ran around Quinn. "Rachel!" He yelled into the backyard.

"She's not here," he heard a voice from above them.

"Well then who's answering me?"

"The tree," Quinn pointed helpfully. "The tree was talking."

He followed her finger. "The tree sounds a helluva lot like Rachel."

She nodded and walked around him. "She's in the treehouse. I'll see you later, Puckerman." She started climbing up the makeshift ladder.

He ran up behind her. "Jesus Christ, Fabray. Warn a dude." He spotted her as she climbed up.

"Whatcha doin?" He heard Q ask her in that same singsong voice.

He rolled his eyes. Santana was right; Quinn Fabray was the biggest repressed lesbian on the planet. "I'm going to watch TV," he called to them. He didn't think Quinn would hurt her, but he wasn't about to leave the two of them alone. Drunk. There was a good chance they might kill each other. And a small chance they might hook up. He figured he should be there either way.


Quinn turned her phone on and bathed the treehouse in light. "Watcha doin?" She asked.

Rachel was sitting in the corner. "Quinn Fabray, may I ask why it is you have decided to climb into my treehouse? Or what, in fact, you're doing at my actual house?"

Quinn stumbled on a board, but righted herself in time. She sat down next to Rachel. "You left the party."

Rachel shook her head incredulously. "I find that answer inadequate," she told her. "I did leave the party. However that does not explain why you felt the need to come and find me."

Quinn shrugged. "Wanted to, I guess."

Rachel closed her eyes momentarily. "You are the most confusing person I have ever met."

"Not really," Quinn offered. "I'm pretty easy to read I think."

Rachel scrunched her face at that. "Nonsense. You happen to be the most closed off individual I've ever encountered. You are definitely not 'easy to read.' I never know if you are angry or just being, well… Quinn. Tonight, I tried three times to speak to you. First you growled at me. The second time you told me to, in your words, 'Fuck off, Berry.' And the third time, if I am not mistaken, you pretended like you were crying so I would leave you alone. I'm sorry if you've mistaken that to be 'easy to read.' I can assure you it is anything but."

Quinn turned to look at her. "I hear everything you say…"

Rachel's breath hitched. "What?" She asked quietly.

"You talk a lot. But I hear it. All of it. It's why I don't talk a lot. Cause when I do, I can't hear you. Then I don't know what you're thinking. That makes me feel fuzzy." She was staring at the other girl.

Rachel held her eye contact. "How much have you had to drink?"

Quinn shrugged. "A lot," she offered.

Rachel nodded and sighed. "And why are you here?" She asked again.

Quinn scooted closer to the other girl. "Cause you are," she answered.

She kept nodding. "Right. And you want to be where I am." She stated.

Quinn nodded this time. "Yep."

She eyed her. She noticed how close the girl was. "Are you going to hurt me?"

Quinn laughed at that. "I don't want to hurt you, Rach."

She didn't believe her. "You'll have to excuse my presumption. I just assumed that you would…" She stopped speaking though because Quinn put her finger on the other girl's lip.

"Shhhh," Quinn said, leaning closer.

Rachel nodded mutely.

"Okay, that's better. Now listen. I don't wanna hurt you. I wanted to see you. I made Puck drive me cause he took you home and he didn't tell me. He was supposed to tell me if you left. He doesn't listen worth a damn."

"Why?" She asked when the girl removed her finger.

Quinn cocked her eyebrow. "Why what?"

"Why'd you want to see me?"

"Oh, cause you're Rachel. I always know where you are. It made me sad you went home…" she trailed off.

Rachel was stunned. She opened and closed her mouth several times. She had no idea what to say. "I'm sad too." She finally whispered.

"Why are you sad?" Quinn asked.

The other girl just frowned at her.

Quinn stared at her mouth for a moment. "You know people always say you've got these big puppy dog eyes, and you totally do, but…" she frowned. "I think I like your lips better. You've got a good pout. It always makes my knees weak," she slurred.

Rachel did what one could only call a phenomenal job of actually hiding the surprise from her face. "Weak?" She gulped out. She hadn't done such a good job of hiding it from her voice.

Quinn nodded. And then she licked her lips. And Rachel felt her own knees go weak and was suddenly very glad she was sitting down. She watched the girl's hand as Quinn moved to cup her cheek. "Your eyes are good too, though."

"What…what are you…" Rachel couldn't speak.

"Do you want me to stop?" The girl asked her. Her voice was deeper than Rachel had thought possible.

She shook her head very slowly. "No," she finally whispered.

Quinn nodded and leaned in.

And when Quinn's lips touched the other girl's, she smiled into the kiss.


"Shut. The. Fuck. Up." I was shaking my head. "Why the hell didn't you tell me that?" She told me everything. How the hell had I not known that?

She shrugged. "I was embarrassed. I didn't think…" She looked at Quinn. "She was gone the next morning. I thought she was freaking out. Or that she forgot. She never mentioned…"

Brittany smiled. "It's called gay panic. Q had it the next day like majorly."

Ha. No shit, I bet. Then I realized who'd spoke and swung my head around. "You knew?"

Brittany nodded. "Yeah."

Quinn threw up her hands in protest. "Hold up. I didn't tell her. She's just intuitive. I didn't even know she knew till a few years ago."

"I cannot believe you kept that shit from me, Rach. I thought the first time you kissed a girl was when we'd…" Holy shit. I put my hand over my mouth. I couldn't believe I'd said that shit out loud.

I didn't see Quinn's reaction, but I think I could physically hear her head turn around.

Brittany laughed. "Q said she was a good kisser. Was she?"

I groaned. There had to be a hole for me to crawl into somewhere around here.

"I knew it," Quinn muttered. I could hear that damn jealousy in every freaking word. Damn this girl was predictable.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh shut it, Fabray. We were drunk as fuck. It was a dare. We weren't even friends then. I'd just moved to New York and was crashing on her and Kurt's couch."

Rachek smiled and nodded. "It was a dare. Then I had to kiss Kurt. And then Rebecca. She was straight though. Remember her, Santana? She had that bright red hair?"

Oh did I ever. I laughed. "Holy shit. Do I remember her? How many times has she called my office the last few years trying to get your number? Either she's a famewhore or a little less than straight," I smirked.

Quinn's breath was labored. I watched Rach pat her on the knee. "Thanks for coming to find me," she told her, trying to change the subject. She made sure to catch her eye. "And I'm glad you remember that night." She smiled at her.

"I would never forget something like that," she whispered, looking away.

"Drunk Quinn was funny in high school," Brittany said. "Drunk Q is funny now. She talks about…"

"Nope," Quinn said, putting her hand over Brittany's mouth. "Stop sharing."

I quirked my eyebrow. I had an idea. I figured why the fuck not. Rachel was gonna drink no matter what. "We've got a basement. And we don't have anywhere to be. And Rachel's gonna fucking drink anyway so we might as well watch her. And in two days we gotta deal with all the assholes I personally never wanted to see again. So I say…" I grinned wickedly. "…fuck it, let's get wasted."

She glanced quickly between the other two. A slow smile spread on her face. "I'm game if you are?" She asked them.

Brittany nodded happily. Quinn sighed. "Okay, but no depressing drunk. Just tipsy. Agreed?"

We all nodded back to her.

We didn't need anything heavy tonight, but like I said earlier… I needed a fucking drink.


So, I hope you guys liked it. I'm out of commission for a few days and I wanted to give you a longer chapter.

Thank you so much for reviews. They help spur me. Any and all grammar mistakes are mine. Sorry.