Hello there! Im not dead, partially, I've been very busy with uni and work and tired all the time, on the plus side many things are falling into place so i have that going on for me, enjoy and stay tuned for more ;)

- Alex

IMPORTANT. had to take the chapter down for a few minutes, realized the ending part was missing, fixed it :)


I woke up next morning tangled up in Steve, the more the days passed the more I knew that my time with Steve was going to an end, I sat on the bed and examined his face, he looked so peaceful so perfect, I ran my hand through his blonde hair and smiled sadly, oh how I was going to miss him.

"You okay?" he asked, I nodded.

"Just thinking" I said, he smiled.

"That's dangerous Alex" he said, I slapped his arm playfully.

"That was mean Stevie" I said.

"What are you thinking about?" he sounded interested.

"Us, this war, our lives" he raised an eyebrow.

"Care to share?" I smiled.

"I was just, I want a big house in Manhattan, or maybe Long Island , or a pent-house" I said, Steve sat and grabbed my hands "And a child"

"A child?" he asked, I nodded.

"If it's a girl, we'll name her Sarah Rose," I said wishfully, Steve suddenly pulled me into a hug, I pressed a kiss to his neck.

"I love you Alex," he murmured against my hair.

"I love you too Stevie" I whispered, I pulled away so I could look at him again "If it's a boy we'll name it Joseph Alexander" I said in a serious tone, he laughed.

"One?" he asked, I nodded.

"Just one Stevie, if you want a second you better find out how to birth it yourself," I teased, he laughed again and I realized that his laugh was the most amazing sound in the world.

The months kept passing and I dreaded the approach of March. I could tell that Steve had noticed the change in my behavior, because I had become clingy, pulling him into maintenance cupboards for quick makeout sessions or practically pouncing on him whenever we made it to our tent or room for the night, I was not ready to let him go, not yet, not ever.

We had just made it into the room, when I pushed Steve against a wall; it was the night before the big mission, March third. I kissed him roughly and he responded the same way, I urged him out of his uniform and got out mine, jumping on Steve to wrap my legs around his middle, his hands traveled up and down my back.

"Alex" he panted in between kisses "Alex, what's going on?"

"Nothing" I answered as I kissed my way to his neck, he moaned "I love you Stevie" I said in between kisses.

"I love you too Alex" he answered as I kissed his neck, his hands tightening their hold on me, it was probably going to bruise, and maybe those bruises would accompany me for the next few days.

I returned to his mouth only to have him starting to kiss my neck, I pulled his hair as he bit down a particular soft spot, whispering his name as he bit harder. I needed him; I needed him so badly.

Waking up the next morning had been the hardest thing I had ever done, we had to be there extremely early. I got in my uniform silently, I stood in front of my mirror, my hair was still undone, Steve came and hugged me from behind resting his head on my shoulder, I leaned into him.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked; I nodded.

"Just a bad feeling Stevie, I'm pretty sure it will go away once this is all over" I said, Steve smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek, he then left to continue grabbing his guns, I after pulling my hair into a pony tail, I grabbed mine. We both walked to the car that was waiting for us, and it drove us to base, from there we were taking a plane close to location.

The whole morning was a rush, I kissed Steve goodbye as he prepared his motorcycle for his trip, once Steve left I regrouped the Commandoes, for we needed to be ready, Bucky acted as my right hand man and Peggy had decided to help Phillips, Howard was to be going with the team of engineers once the area was cleaned out for them. With the commandoes I prepared the zip-lines that led straight into the heart of Schmidt's HQ. Morita was the one with the binoculars waiting for the opportune moment; once he gave the word we all grabbed all cables and swept in crashing the windows as we made an entrance.

We quickly started fighting the Hydra soldiers, Steve looked torn between helping us and following Schmidt, I motioned for him to follow, he nodded and ran out of the room, I stayed with the Commandoes until we had neutralized all the soldiers, I then ran outside trying to find Steve or Peggy. I ran out to the hanger and saw Peggy and Phillips getting into Schmidt's car, I whistled at them, rapidly they picked me up and we raced in the direction that Peggy pointed that Steve had gone, it wasn't much until we caught up with Steve who jumped into the car next to me, Phillips accelerated so we could catch the Valkyrie.

We caught up with the giant plane, Steve looked at me and pulled me into a kiss before jumping inside the thing, I stood there in haze looking how Steve had just walked into his 'death', Phillips hit the breaks of the car before we fell down a cliff that signaled the end of the landing pit. My eyes watered as I saw the Valkyrie fly away, Peggy put a hand on my shoulder and suggested to go back into the headquarters, I followed in a semi numb state.

The commandoes were okay, Bucky ran to Peggy once he saw her and pulled her into a hug, then he hugged me too, I mustered enough energy to smile at him, but honestly I was exhausted, Peggy and I entered the control room and sat next to a microphone trying to connect with the Valkyrie. We sat there waiting for what seemed an eternity, until we heard some interference.

"Coming in, this is captain Rogers do you read me?" Steve's voice sounded over the speakers I moved towards the nearest microphone.

"Steve? Is that you, are you okay?" I asked rapidly.

"Alex, Schmidt's dead" he said, I smiled, he was okay, I took a deep breath.

"I don't care about Schmidt, how about you or the plane?" I asked.

"That's a bit tougher to explain," he said.

"Give us your coordinates and we'll find you a safe landing site," said Peggy, I looked at her thankful, she nodded.

"Its not going to be a safe landing, but I can try to force it down" he answered, Peggy and I exchanged glances, my eyes were tearing up again.

"I'll get Howard on the phone, he'll know what to do" offered Peggy.

"There is no time, this thing is moving to fast and its heading for new york" I stifled a sob as he said that, because dammit, knowing that he was going to be okay seventy years in the future was not as comforting as I thought, Peggy held my hand "I have to put her on the water" he declared.

"Steve please don't do that," I begged, my voice breaking.

"There's time" Peggy pressed, "We can work this out"

"I'm in the middle of nowhere, if I wait any longer a lot of people are going to die, Alex, this is my choice" he said, I nodded even though he could not see me.

"Always a bit too much self sacrificing Stevie" I said.

"Always" he answered, I looked down at my wedding band and closed my eyes for a second, Peggy still holding my hand "Alex" he said.

"We're here," Peggy answered for me.

"Steven Grant Rogers, don't you dare come home late" I said.

"I won't" he promised.

"I want you at eight o' clock sharp, or I'll have you sleeping on the couch for a week" my voice was shaky.

"It would be too cold"

'I'll get you a blanket"

"Or maybe you could just…" the communication was lost, and so was Steve.

"Steve?" I asked after a while, even though I knew that it was not going to work "Stevie please" tears were streaming down my cheeks, Peggy pulled me into a hug and in that very moment I broke down.

About what happened next I remembered very little, just blurry images of people offering their condolences while I cried and Peggy held me.

Next time I was fully there was a week later, I was wearing a black dress as the president addressed us, I was sitting between Peggy and Howard, we had won the war, yes, but I had lost my husband. I had refused to talk, I was not in the mood to do so, and the only reason of me being in this place right now was because Peggy had practically forced me to. I looked at the crowd and remembered the days when I used to address crowds as big as this one, back in my previous universe, it seemed so far right now, like an almost forgotten dream.

When the event was over Howard drove me home, Mortimer was waiting for me there.

"Alex, if you need anything, call me, I don't care if its three in the morning" Howard said as he walked me inside, I nodded, not bothering to smile.

"I won't be staying around much" I said emotionlessly, Howard looked at me curiously, "I will travel, I have to get out of here at least for a while" I said; Howard nodded.

"I think its for the best, yes, will we see you again?" he asked, I nodded.

"I can't leave my family forever" I said, Howard smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"Good, cause we'll be waiting for you"