thank you for all the interest in this story. I don't own any characters
The night before
Luna was sitting with her girlfriends, co-workers, neighbors. They had conspired to give her a combination bridal shower/evening out. She was touched, because she figured that she would probably be alone the night before, staring out the window, wondering what Neville was doing at that moment.
But instead, she was seated at a large round table in a local night spot, Ginny next to her, Hermione across from her, various girls around her, excited, drinking, talking about their boyfriends, husbands, honeymoons. One of her classmates leaned to her, slopping her drink clumsily, it had been about three hours since everyone started drinking.
"So where are the two of you going for your honeymoon?"
"Oh we're not having a honeymoon. Rolf has a series of lectures, I'm going to go with him across the country, then we'll be back in time for the spring semester. I have to finish up my classes, work with my dad."
"Oh, are you disappointed?"
"No, really I'm not."
And it was true. A year ago, if asked, Luna might have said that she was a little upset that there wouldn't be a honeymoon, wouldn't be a week long trip somewhere. But now, every time she thought about her wedding, it seemed like it was an event happening to someone else.
The wedding planner that Rolf arranged took care of everything, from the bunting that would decorate the ceiling of the reception room in the hotel, to the small candles on the tables that had a touch of silver glitter hand painted on them to give a glow to each table. Luna agreed with everything, it was easier that way. The only thing she insisted on was the color of lavender that she would be wearing in her hair and the peonies she demanded to have in her bouquet.
"But Luna, they are expensive this time of year, don't you think that roses would be better? You could even have them lavender if you want, they would look beautiful with the rest of your dress."
"No. I want peonies, I don't care if they are white, pink, whatever. Peonies. At least one."
Rolf looked at the wedding planner, a pleasant woman who shrugged at him.
"This is Luna's wedding as well. If she wants peonies, I will make sure I will get them. It will cost though, because the only place that would have it right now would be probably Hong Kong or Australia. Sending a bouquet overnight, fresh, you're looking at several hundred dollars alone in transport fee."
Rolf looked at Luna, a little exasperated for the first time. Luna shook her head at him.
She hadn't heard from Neville in weeks. Not since the phone call the day of his wedding. She had assumed that she would hear from him, at least once since that call. But there was nothing. No calls, no emails, no letters, nothing. At first, she doubted herself. Maybe he was no longer attracted to her? Maybe he changed his mind. Men did that, Hermione had told her once when she was going through something similar with her boyfriend. They told you they loved you, then got you to do things that you didn't want to do and then no communication whatsoever. Luna hated the idea that Neville might have done that to her, might have used her and then thrown her away. Twice. But still…she looked at the ring she wore on her right hand.
Neville was thinking of peonies as well. He was lined up at the supermarket, buying a few things that Hannah said she needed, she was cooking tonight. They had settled into a kind of routine these past few months. He would get up, get dressed to go to work. Hannah would get up later, do her online classes for her hotel management courses and then go to work as well. She had found a job, doing on-line reservations at one of the major hotels in their city. She made friends easily, was sure that she would be on the pathway to management soon. Neville didn't doubt her, despite what he thought sometimes of her job pathway, there was no doubt that Hannah absolutely made friends and connections very easily.
So here he was, lined up at the checkout with his three items. Pasta, cream and dill. He wasn't sure what she was going to do with it but she was definitely innovative with cooking, trying things that the restaurant at her hotel sometimes featured. He looked over at the right, at the candy selection, debating about whether or not he should buy something sweet. Then he looked to the left and saw the fresh cut flower selection. One flower was a big, hybrid kind of carnation and he suddenly thought of Luna. Not like he didn't think about her almost every day. When he woke up. When he was going to work. When he closed his eyes, talked to anyone, came home, saw his wife. He had avoided contacting her, wanting to give Luna the opportunity to give him up. He owed her that much. He had already verbalized how much he loved her, how much he wanted her. He didn't think she needed to know anymore then that. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe she hated him for leaving her without any closure. It had been about a month and a half since they last spoke, he missed her voice.
The night he spent with Hannah, their wedding night, was difficult for Neville. She had said goodbye to her family and friends and went up the elevator with Neville to their suite. It was very nice, silks and linens, cream colors and subtle lighting. Romantic flowers everywhere, beautiful candles lit up and soft music playing. Like a movie setting. Artificial. Which it was in a way, a little contrived for Neville. He didn't want to think this way, so he pushed the thought out of his mind as he waited for Hannah come out from the bathroom. She was dressed in a white lingerie set, small ribbons and sheer. Her hair was pinned up and she wore the necklace he had given to her. He had purchased it at the same time he bought the ring for Luna. Hannah had mentioned how she really admired it so that was easy.
"Hannah, you're beautiful." And this was true.
"Neville I love you so much…"
They spent the night together, like other nights they had spent together. It was sweet, loving, trusting. Neville knew that Hannah relied on him, financially and for affection. He would try, he really would. He would be with her and her family, they would have their own. It would be okay. He did love her.
He left the market, went back home and gave Hannah all the things she needed. There were pots already containing boiling water, Hannah chopping some herbs up while chatting on the phone to one of her friends or family. He went outside to the deck. Neville had bought this house a few years ago, worked on it periodically and they moved in a few days after their return from the honeymoon. Hannah wanted to keep their apartment for when they had work that would keep them in the city and Neville agreed. The house was an oasis for him, far away from work, away from demands on him and his time. Neville was better at dealing with people now then he used to be, better at speaking in public but he still hated it. He preferred the solitude of research, sometimes craving the aloneness, preferring to be lonely at times. Exactly how Luna had explained it to him. But maybe he only craved being alone because he couldn't be with Luna. He hadn't worked it out in his head yet. But he knew that he wanted to talk to her.
Luna went up to the bar, ordered another drink. She was tempted to have a whiskey with lime but didn't want to change up what she was drinking right now, her usual vodka tonics. The music was melancholy right now, a singer saying he was looking for love with a catchy beat and her friends were all having a good time. She was wearing a little tiara that they had given to her. She was a little self-conscious about it but didn't want to offend Hermione by not wearing it.
Hermione was completely drunk by now, saying things about her and Ron. Ginny wasn't around, she was at the other end of the club talking to a few men. Which was a good thing.
"Luna, I'm telling you, you need to keep an eye on Rolf when he's on his lecture tours."
"Yes Hermione?"
"Yup. Women will be all over him now that he will be unavailable; I married Ron and now girls everywhere keep coming on to him. I know he probably slept with a few of them since we've been married."
"Don't say that Hermione, that's not true."
"I work too hard, I never see him, he says that I'm too dedicated. Not enough time for him. Hah that's a laugh…."
Luna shook her head and wasn't sure if Hermione knew what she was saying, saddened because she knew only a few people who were married and clearly no one's marriage was working out the way it was supposed to, like the fairy tales. Happily ever after.
"Hey beautiful, you want a drink?" Some guy standing next to her, moving close to talk.
"No, I'm good, thank you."
"Hey, you're getting married…"
Luna needed some air. This was the third time some guy had tried to buy her a drink, even though she was wearing a tiny tiara and an engagement ring on her left hand. She shouted at one of the other women that she was going outside, going to take a breather. She'd be back in a few and she stepped outside the club, leaning against the brick wall, smiling at the bouncer who nodded at her, watching other people try to get in the club, watching couples walking hand in hand, cars driving by, listening to the chatter.
She felt her phone vibrate in her small handbag and pulled it out, answering it without looking, it was probably Ginny anyway, asking where she was right now.
"Hello?"
"Hello Luna."
She closed her eyes, a feeling of overwhelming relief pouring over her.
"Hello Neville."
"What are you doing right now?"
"I'm standing outside a club, it's my bachelorette party and my girlfriends are all inside, getting drunk."
Neville smiled. "I was just thinking where else would Luna be right now, of course at a nightclub, did you dress up?"
"A little bit, they insisted I wear a little tiara and a sash that says bride-to-be but I took the sash off when they were all too hammered to know the difference." Luna heard Neville laughing slightly and she leaned against the wall, comfortable now that he was on the phone.
"And your wedding plans?"
"I wanted peonies for my bouquet and you should have seen the look that Rolf and the wedding planner gave to each other when I insisted."
"I can imagine, they are out of season right now. Expensive but worth it."
There was a silence for a while, both of them listening to each other breathing.
"How was your wedding?"
"Nice. Crowded."
Luna smiled. She somehow knew that Neville wouldn't enjoy such a large gathering.
"Where did you go on your honeymoon?"
"We spent one night in the hotel where we were married and then went to the islands."
"Nice. Did you enjoy yourself?"
"Baby…" Neville lowered his voice and got up from the deck chair, moved to the farthest end of the lawn, watching Hannah through the kitchen window.
"I wanted to call you. But I wasn't sure what we are supposed to do now. It's different now that you're getting married, now that I'm married. Before, we could say it was a fling, an experience. But now…"
"I know Neville. I know that you want to end this."
"No! No, Luna I don't. I miss you more than before I even got married, I saw flowers at the supermarket and thought of you, I get up first thing in the morning and wish you were next to me, I sit in a meeting and picture you, I would prefer to be alone, lonely because it makes me think I'm closer to you."
"I love you Luna, I don't know what to do…"
"Luna?"
Ginny was standing there, looking at Luna. She mouthed "the guy?" and Luna nodded. Ginny moved to the side, watching her.
"Neville, it will be all right. I love you too, I don't know what to do either…"
"Neville?"
Neville looked up and saw Hannah there in front of him, looking at him curiously. He had somehow wandered into the corner of the yard where there were weeds, garbage pails, leaves and he hadn't even noticed, he was so involved with talking to Luna.
He covered the phone and said "Work Hannah, I'll be in a few minutes."
She nodded and went back towards the house. Neville waited and then put the phone back to his ear.
"Luna?"
"Yes Neville, was Hannah there?"
"Yes, I'm sorry."
"Don't be, my girlfriend was here, she could hear a little bit."
"Is that going to be a problem for you?"
"No, I think I needed for someone to know a little about what I was going through."
"Okay."
"I have to go now Neville."
"I know. Luna…"
"Yes?"
"I love you okay? We'll figure something out. I'll call you next week, arrange for us to meet."
Luna nodded into the phone, not realizing that Neville couldn't see her. Or maybe he could because that's exactly what he envisioned she was doing as she hung up.
"Luna, what are you doing?"
"He called me Ginny. I just wanted to talk to him, make sure I'm doing the right thing."
"You're not going to see him again after you're married are you?"
"I doubt it Ginny."
Luna lied to Ginny just like she lied to herself. If Neville asked her to see him, she wouldn't hesitate. She would be there. Just like he said. They would need to work something out.
"Neville is everything okay?"
"Yes Hannah, just some research questions."
Hannah set out the meal, talked about her day, talked about her family. Neville listened absentmindedly, knowing that tomorrow Luna would be married and they would be on equal footing again. It would be all right. Just like he said. They would figure something out. And soon.
