She turned her face back to look at the lake, she didn't want him to see the puffiness under her eyes. Didn't want him to know how much she hurt, didn't want him to know that he had caused it.

"Mrs. Patmore told me you'd gone for a walk." He said quietly, continuing his slow steps towards her.

"How did you find me?" She said still looking straight ahead.

"Sometimes Mrs. Hughes, I find that you know me better then I know myself, and I think that goes both ways." With that he sat down beside her, he slowly took his shoes off, then removed his socks and let his feet dip into the cool water of the lake. He looked down at his feet and saw hers right next to his, and he couldn't help but smile. Side by side, that was how they were supposed to be.

"Are you enjoying retirement Mr. Carson?" She finally asked after a lengthy silence.

"Oh lovely, I get to sleep as much as I want, do whatever I want. I am the king of my castle." He said attempting to sound happy.

"I'm happy for you then Mr. Carson." She said with a hint of resignation, he seemed to be fairing just fine without her, after this afternoon he would return to his lovely cottage and she would return to her unhappy life.

"I'm lying of course Mrs. Hughes, I hate retirement." He said shaking his head.

"Really? I think it would be lovely to sleep as late as you'd like, nap whnever you fancy."

"It would be, however my body awakes at 5am every day, no matter what I do. And napping, well forget it. Once the puppy is awake I can forget about napping, besides I used to take afternoon naps in my pantry all the time." He looked a bit embarrassed at his own confession and her resulting gasp.

"Is that what you did every afternoon when you said you couldn't be distributed during your paperwork. You cheeky-" she said with a smile, him cutting her off just in time.

"Yes, well we do what we must. I'll admit I haven't had a good meal since I retired as well. It seems cooking skills have surpassed me completely. I'm also rather lonely." He said quietly.

"Lonely? But you said you have a puppy, surely she keeps you company."

"She does a bit, but she makes more work for me then a lazy footman. At least the footmen respond when I yell." They both chuckled at that.

"What is her name?"

"Well I was forced to change her name, originally I called her Lady but I have since changed her name to 'Stop doing that for the love of.'"

"Seems like rather a long name."

"Yes well, she had truly earned it. To be honest Mrs. Hughes, I think I may give her back to his lordship. She is a sweet dog but she's not happy with me."

"How could anyone be unhappy with you?" She asked in all seriousness.

He faltered at that, starring at her quietly contemplating her question.

"You seem unhappy with me Mrs. Hughes, at least you did. You slapped me, twice in fact if you recall."

"I do recall Mr. Carson, and while you fully deserved the first one I will admit you did not deserve the second one. I was surprised by your actions and I acted incorrectly. I'm sorry." There was a lull as he took in her words.

"If I could do it over again Mr. Carson, I would not have slapped you. I would have kissed you again."

"If…" he said, trailing off, the shock of her words overtaking him. Perhaps if he had stayed they could have mended things, perhaps they could have been okay.

"But life is full of ifs, as you well know." She said gently placing her hand on his.

"Indeed it is." He said solemnly, entwining his fingers with hers.

They stopped speaking, and simply sat there holding hands for almost an hour. Their fingers stayed entwined though, both their minds racing, trying to figure out both their hearts and their future. He knew he couldn't live without her, not again. She knew she couldn't live without him, but likely would have to. Finally as the air turned colder and clouds began to cover the skies she spoke.

"I cant marry you." She said very matter of factly.

"I don't recall asking." He said matching her tone.

"But you would have. You said so earlier, I know you better then you know yourself. You would ask me, and I would have to refuse. So instead I will simply give an answer before the question is asked, I cant marry you."

"Would why be an unreasonable question?"

"It would all be for naught." She said simply. He held his breath, waiting for her to continue waiting to understand.

"If we married," she said without any emotion, "it would be an admission that we have wasted our lives. I decided as a young girl I would never marry, that my independence and success were more important to me then any man. If I marry you now I have to admit that the choice I made all those years ago was wrong. That I've wasted my entire life being unhappy for no reason, perhaps if this all was happening twenty years ago or even ten I could say that it simply took a long time to find the right man but now…its too late for that excuse. I love you Mr. Carson, more then I have ever loved another person. But admitting that means I have to face my regrets and I cant do that. I cant admit that my entire life has been wasted, it would too terrible a lesson."

"I suppose I must say that I understand." He whispered.

"Do you? Do you really? I don't want to hurt you Mr. Carson, that is the last thing I would ever want."

"I do understand Mrs. Hughes, I had the same reservations myself. When I'm alone I can almost convince myself I don't love you. That I made the right choices in my life, that while I will always wonder about another way my life could have gone there would still be no comparison to the life I have had. But well, when we held hands at the beach. Your touch told me the truth, that I've spent all my life being a butler when I should have spent it loving you. But now, as you've said, its too late." With that he released his hold on her hand, bringing his up to wipe the tears away from her eyes. She turned her head to look at him and smiled the sweet, defeated smile he had occasionally seen from her in their darkest moments.

"I should get back to the house." She said taking her feet out of the water and patting them dry with her skirts.

"Yes, and I should get back to 'stop doing that for the love of.'"

They both shared a smile as she began to walk away.

"I miss you dreadfully." He yelled to her.

"I miss you too." She said looking back at him briefly. He turned back to look at the lake. He had to figure something out, there had to be a way. If he couldn't restore the balance to his life, if he couldn't restore her to his life, he'd drown under his own sorrow.

A week later Mrs. Hughes was snapped from her afternoon rest in her sitting room by frantic knocking on her door.

"What on earth…" she mumbled to herself, slowing rising and walking towards the door. Checking her hair on the way lest anyone notice she was napping. As she turned the handle the door swung open, forcing her to jump back quickly. In walked Mr. Carson. He quickly closed the door behind him and moved towards her.

"Mr. Carson, what on earth-" but her sentence was interrupted as his arms wrapped around her waist and his lips crashed down onto hers.