This chapter was a product of listening to nothing but Within Temptation. Still, I think it turned out pretty good! Thanks go out to all who read/reviewed/favorited/alerted. There are probably only two chapters left before this concludes. Maybe. Yeah, two or three. Anyway, please enjoy the chapter!
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or its characters.
It was all over the news. Papers, magazines, radio, the television. Everywhere.
"This just in, Father Daniel's body was obviously shot three times in the head. Police have confirmed that there was no way that this was an accident. An innocent leader of the church has been murdered in cold blood. If you know anything about this killing, please call…"
"Father Daniel was a good community man. He had saved hundreds of people starvation by inviting them into his own home for a fresh meal and a place to stay the night…"
"Hundreds of church members are here in front of the church making a memorial to the good priest known around as Father Daniel. His legacy…"
It was sickening, absolutely disgusting. That man's face mocked me from every media source as if his twisted soul was trying to get revenge on me, trying to get me to break down. Well guess what, fucker? I wasn't going to go down that easy. Tch, did he think that was the first time I've murdered someone in cold blood? Wrong. Bloody wrong.
"What are you doing?" Mello asked tiredly from the door.
I was leaning over the bathroom sink, washing my hair and getting ready to dye it with a color I bought yesterday. The green tint was too much right now and it could possibly identify me.
"You're a genius, jackass, figure it out."
Sighing as if I was a source of endless trials, he leaned against the doorframe and continued to stare at me.
"You're dying your hair color a…a 'raging red'."
"Fuck, you're just too smart, Mels," I sneered before grabbing a towel and drying my hair. "Don't know how you managed to figure that out."
"Well," he began with a very familiar annoyed tone, "I still haven't figured out what that priest could have possibly said to piss you off that much. You killed him, Mattie, in a room full of witnesses!"
"No one saw me do it," I hissed as I angrily rubbed my hair dry.
"But plenty of people could have seen you go in there, and then come out! Fuck, Mattie, why don't you just tell me what happened?! I'm not going to turn you in!"
"It's none of your motherfucking business! I don't need your permission or even your approval to kill anyone I want!"
"But…he was a priest, a spokesman of God," Mello begged. "What would make you want to kill an innocent-"
"Don't fucking give me that!" I interrupted hatefully. That man wasn't innocent, I didn't care if he was a spokesman of the so-called "God" or not. He could have been Buddha for all I knew, and I would have still shot that fucker in the head. "He's just a man, a goddamn man, and it's not like you've never killed anyone innocent before!"
He winced from that, but didn't back down. Mello was known for being a stubborn guy and even intentional jabs at his tender spots wasn't enough to put him down. "He was not just a man, no matter what you may think! He is a man of God!"
"That man was nothing but a perverted priest who fucks the alter boys and then takes his stupid followers' money! That's all they are!"
Throwing his hands up in frustration, Mello said something that made my blood freeze. "Fuck, Mattie, you're so obsessed with priests being pedophiles! It's not like you were raped by one!"
I didn't see it, didn't feel it, didn't even realize what I had done until I saw Mello sprawled on the floor and felt the pounding in my fist from where it had connected with his jaw. Those shocked turquoise eyes looked up at me before a sickening realization dawned on him. No, no, no! I didn't want him to know, to pity me!
"N-no, I wasn't!" I screamed pathetically, but I was afraid it was too late. Mello was an extremely fast learner especially if physical pain was involved. But no, I was stupid. I took that bullshit given by the man for years without saying a word and I even had the nerve to believe that I was going to heaven for doing it.
"Matt, oh Mattie," he whispered as he watched me struggle to keep my composure. "I didn't mean-"
"Shut up. Just fucking shut up." I was too tired for this, too tired of fighting. Work was in a few hours and I needed to finish my hair.
~_~_~_~_~_
The cold winter air stung at my exposed flesh as I walked through the streets to my job. It was a small computer pawn/repair shop where my job was to strip information off the machines for anything valuable before putting it up for sale. There were plenty of idiot people who thought that pressing the "empty trash" option was enough to get rid of their personal information, so my job was never done.
As soon as I walked in, Cam, the owner, greeted me. "Hey man! Whoa, nice hair…"
My urge to tell him to piss off almost won, but I steeled my self-control before I could say anything that would make me lose my job. "The girlfriend was sick of the last color," I replied cheerily, hoping that face didn't betray my true feelings.
"Yeah, I know how that is," he sympathized. "Mine made me cut my hair. Used to be down to my waist."
The mental image was pretty disturbing, so I decided to just hurry myself to my newest job. "So this baby needs to be stripped?"
"Oh, that? Yeah. Hey! Have you heard about that priest who got murdered a few days ago? That's not too far from here! Some police showed up here asking around."
My blood froze and I began to panic. What did this idiot tell them about me?! What if the police were already at the house?!
"What did you say?" I choked out as I slipped behind some computers and began pulling out my gun.
"Oh, nothing really!" he chuckled. "They just asked if I knew anyone who went to the church, and I said, 'No, my only worker Mac's an atheist through and through.' Hey, but isn't your girl-"
He didn't even get to finish that sentence when my bullet silenced him. Panting, I looked down at the shaking gun. What the hell had I just done?! Fuck, this was another body! With the same bullet!
"Shit!" I hissed as I looked around the shop. There was no one inside yet, but soon enough there would be. This was bad, really bad! Why did I have to shoot him? He didn't say anything! But…no, I needed to cut off any ties. I needed to start fresh.
First though, I needed to get my ass out of this. Grabbing my tool kit, I headed to the body and worked quickly. Cutting meaningless messages into his skin with my left hand was the first measure. It would keep the police busy for a while and being ambidextrous, I knew that they would at least guess someone left-handed had done this. It didn't look like a right-hander attempting to write with his left hand, no it was just right. Next, I began stabbing his body with a screwdriver to reinforce the idea that this was a calculated murder of someone who had a personal issue with Cam. Next, I needed to get rid of the bullet, so I hurried for the nearest computer tower. Taking a deep calming breath and one last glance around, I swung the heavy thing into the man's skull. A crunching sound echoed in the small room, but the blow hadn't been enough. Hauling the machine up with my thin arms, I swung again and again. Over and over, I brought the computer down until his head was nothing more than a mush of bones and flesh. The smell was sickening, but I needed to press on. Dropping the tower next to the body, I leaned over and fished through the brain matter and other flesh until I found my bullet.
The sound of a car door shutting made me dive behind a shelf and pull out my gun again. I couldn't keep my breathing anything short of erratic and with a string of curses I realized that I was covered in the man's blood. Shit, it was just one thing wrong after another! Peeking around some of the computers, I saw some hooker waving to a customer. He drove off and she walked away. Good, I had time to finish things up.
Running to the washroom, I doused my boots in water to clean the blood from the bottom of them. Once that was done, I began to throw down all our monitors. Sparks flew and glass shattered, but it took a few more minutes before a decent fire got started. The flames would eat away some of the evidence, and the water from the fire fighters putting it out would wipe away even more. Panting, I ran out through the back. I was still covered in blood since I couldn't risk washing anything off but my shoes. I couldn't let them have any of my DNA, but I needed to get the hell out of here without gaining attention.
My only options was running through the alleys and taking the long way around the back of the neighborhood I was living in. There could be no more witnesses or I'd have to kill again, only leaving the police with more bodies and more information against me. I had to be careful or it was over.
Just stepping into an alley was enough to make me sick. The smells, the trapped feeling, it was just like that day. I was going to die, me and Mello. I had been so scared, just waiting for Kira to get me back. It should have been me who had died, shot over a hundred times. But no, I had to cheat Death, I had to offer up a scapegoat. Now look what it got me.
Sinking down against a dirty wall, my smoker's lungs burned badly, leaving me coughing and wheezing. I was near the end of the slums and soon I would have to sneak around through open space until I got to the suburbs where I lived. In the distance of a few miles I would be exposed to cars, pedestrians, police officers, and all other manners of being identified. It wouldn't be hard considering that I was covered in another man's blood. Still, I had no other choice. Stealing a car near the crime scene was expected and I couldn't do that. No, I really did have to make a run for it. Police sirens echoed loudly and soon the fire trucks and ambulances followed.
"Don't show me that you're scared."
"No, I won't," I gasped as I rocked myself. I could taste the tears and blood and even the tar that had built up in my lungs.
"Don't. Fucking. Show. Me."
"I won't, I swear!"
"You're not scared! I am not scared!"
"Gods, Mello! You're not scared!" I sobbed as I held my knees even tighter. "I'm not scared!"
"…Mail."
Whispered so sweetly, so softly. It was like a soothing balm over my fevered skin. "We need to…get…going," I mumbled as I struggled to gain control of my breathing. "We need…to…finish this."
Forcing my exhausted limbs to push even further, I stood up. I needed to get out of here, get far away. Mello, that's where I needed to go. Shoving my sunglasses further up my nose, I looked around before tearing off. One foot in front of the other, just pushing and pushing. I kept as far away from the road as I could and ran. Oxygen wasn't a concern, just sheer will power. Stumbling and abused ankles were nothing. There was nothing but getting to him, to Mello.
Fear of losing him because of my own stupidity made me run even faster. My body knew what to do, and instinctively I snuck around through the suburbs, getting into the back alleys. The final obstacle, my back fence was hurdled with much difficulty and a landed with a loud thud. Something cracked somewhere in my body, but it was too hard to figure out. Having finally stopped moving, I couldn't find the physical strength to do anything. Even breathing didn't seem possible. Everything was spinning around as my brain tried to do damage control, but the lack of oxygen from my worn lungs was making that impossible. Everything was struggling, and I just laid there.
Darkness covered my body and I thought I caught a glimmer of gold before I lost consciousness.
~_~_~_~_~_
Someone was whispering not far away and I found it hard to open my eyes and see who it was. Instead I just rested against the soft covers and listened.
"Shit, holy fucking shit!"
"The police believe that this was a murder and arson. The owner, Cameron Jackson was a salesman of used computers and had only one worker that has not been identified yet. It seems that the fire damaged many things and the police have not shared that information with us. Still, this homicide seems to have been personal. It's also interesting to note that this has taken place three days since the murder of Father Daniel and also three blocks away from the church he had been found dead in."
"Mattie, shit, what's going on?! Ok, what are we going to do? We have to get out of here, but-"
I couldn't take it anymore. "Mello, get in here," I commanded in a raspy voice. Rolling over, I rubbed my eyes and forced them open.
"Matt, you're awake," he sighed in relief. "What the fuck is going on?!"
Looking up at my angel, I could see that he was flabbergasted. His beautiful eyes were wide and his hands were moving around nervously. He was not used to being out of control, of not being the one to do the stupid shit and then cry for help. Well, I didn't plan on crying for help. I knew exactly what we needed to do.
"You need to get us a van," I stated flatly as I pulled myself out of bed. I noticed that I had been washed and that my clothes were gone. They were probably burned too. "We're leaving here as soon as I get rid of the evidence that we were here."
Wringing his hands, he began to pray as he turned on his heel.
"Wait," I warned as I grabbed his wrist. Looking back at me, he seemed lost. "If you leave me, I'll kill you," I hissed. This was definitely not the time to abandon me and if he did, to hell with being caught. I would hunt his ass down until I could snap that neck with my own bare hands. "I'm dead serious, Mels, I will kill you."
Shoving him away, I pulled on a pair of pants that had been set on the bed and I proceeded to prepare for our move. The gallons of bleach that I had been storing were pulled out along with my hair net, gloves, and face mask. Each room was emptied of our personal things such as clothes, brushes, or anything else that would have our DNA on them. Everything else, like the furniture, stayed put and I began the cleaning process. Everything was vacuumed, and then all the smooth surfaces were bleached. Carpet was steam cleaned with a soft bleach product, air vents were scrubbed, windows were wiped, curtains were steamed. The kitchen was cleaned out of food but I left the dishes. I just cleaned them all with bleach.
By the time I was finished with the bedrooms, the halls, and the kitchen, Mello walked back in. He looked around at the bags with our stuff and the necessary food that would be packed up in the van.
"I'll pack up," he sighed.
When I didn't reply, he just did the work. As soon as all our junk was cleared, I finished off the cleaning. All of the trash bags full of the cleaning supplies and the trash from cleaning up were shoved into the van as well so that we could dump it in another city. Looking around the house, I couldn't help but feel sad. I had spent so much time finding a place where me and Mello would be able to settle down and live happily, and now this.
"It never ends, does it?" I asked myself softly.
"Usually it doesn't," Mello replied as he walked in. "For us, it never will."
Anger clawed at my chest, pounding through my mind. How could Mello, the reckless bastard, the confident bitch, how could he give in so easily? What made fate so damn strong that he would be willing to roll over to its whims?!
"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I screamed at him, shoving him against the door. "We can't give up, never! Don't tell me you're scared!"
"I am scared!" he screamed back with tears threatening to fall. Those words struck me harder than anything he had ever hit me with before. Mello was scared, my Mello, my god, was scared.
"I refuse to believe that," I hissed angrily. "And you can't believe that either!"
Dragging him to the van, I threw him in the back where no one would see him and identify him. Handcuffing him to the back door, I made sure that he had no chance to escape. Hate boiled within me, that this weak creature dared to pretend he was Mello. This thing couldn't be the one I loved, the one that I adored. No, he was just an imitator. Soon enough Mello would be back. When he was back, everything would work out. It would all be ok. For now though, I just had to go.
The van started up smoothly, and I backed out of the garage with practiced ease. We were running again, but this time things were different. Pulling my bag to the front, I grabbed a pack of cigarettes and my lighter.
~_~_~_~_~_
Everything was racing past, blurring together. I couldn't remember if it had been days or weeks since we headed off on the road. All I did was drive and fill the van with gas. I didn't eat, but maybe I drank. It didn't matter. Driving did.
I vaguely realized that there were empty morphine needles on the seat beside me, and that my ashtray had been overflowing for a while now.
Lights were flashing, and I drove away, I hated those lights. Signs sped by, but I couldn't read them.
I hated him, I realized as I threw down another cigarette I light on the wrong end. They said that the opposite of love wasn't hate, but indifference. That's how I knew that I still loved him too. And you can't smoke a cigarette if you light the filter.
My body wanted rest.
Push.
The human body can subject itself to only so much suffering before it decides to pull the plug. I wasn't completely sure what had happened, but I realized that we weren't on the road anymore. Blood was running down my face and I felt cold water against my thighs. I tried to understand what I was seeing, but the meaning just slipped past me. Someone was screaming, but the words just ran together like paint. Like Linda's pain when I threw the water balloon at it. Mello told me to, and I did it.
Wow, Mello told me to do a lot of things and I always did it. When he told me get on my knees and blow him like the bitch I was, I did. When he told me to put down the game and play with him I did. When he told me to eat his veggies I did. I did, I did, I did. I murdered. I sold drugs. Sometimes he didn't tell me, but I did it anyway.
Smoking, he always hated smoking.
Holding my eyes open was too hard. Besides, none of it made sense. Still, resting for just a moment sounded like a good idea. I wish that I wasn't so cold and so wet, but I could suck it up. The water lapped at my bloody face, but I slipped off to a better place. A place where I didn't have to run away.
"Mattie!"
"Hey, Mels, what's up?" I asked as I sat on the itchy grass behind the large house.
"Found you," he stated so proudly.
"Uh, I wasn't hiding."
"Yes you were!" he pouted before pouncing on me.
I could have dodged, but I didn't want to. I wanted to feel that soft hair stroke my cheeks, that sweet chocolate breath brush over my own wanting lips. I wanted to look up into those brilliant eyes and drown in them.
"Kiss me?" I dared to ask softly.
Giggling, Mello gave my hot mouth a quick peck. It was always like this for him, a game of will-I-get-caught? Still, it made me happy to be this close. Tilting his head to the side Mello looked down.
"Want another?" he asked curiously and I nodded eagerly.
With another breathtaking smile he leaned down again and this time, he didn't pull away.
Author's Notes: Alright, so don't be bothered by the weird formatting, especially near the ending. I did that more for a sense of disjointed thought, of confusion. It's not fanfic's fault (for the first time). :) So? What do you guys think?! Any guesses as to what's happening or what will be the end? Oh, I was also dying to give Matt a reason to have redish hair. I LOVE how the fanart had him with red hair before the anime showed up and screwed that idea up. Still, in my mind the red looks way better than the weird brunette/greenish hair. Oh well.
Please review and let me know how you felt about this chapter! Also, feel free to point out spelling errors or give some constructive criticism. (note: most grammatical errors on my part are on purpose, but if you really feel the need, go ahead and point that out too.)
