Riker's Story: Mirror Page 1

Riker's Story: Mirror Cracked!

By Steve2

Disclaimer: I do not own the Star Trek series or Married with Children series. This is simply a story for fun. No profits are being made. Enjoy the humor.

Chapter 7: It's Time To Go. Get Me Outta Here!

"A surprise party?! You shouldn't have! Hah-hah-hah!" Commander Al chortled in glee for the first time as someone had managed to replicate a keg of beer. With foam even. Looks like someone remembered a little something or other about splitting the beer atom.

Gathered around Al were numerous people drawn to the day's hero festivities as an alternate to going to work and having to produce something. It was much easier to get a drink, eat some finger food, and show up late with a reasonable excuse like you were meeting Commander Boondy, er, Bindy, er, Bandy… whatever.

As the drinks flowed and the finger food poked, Guinan linked up with Captain Picard who was watching the festivities from the corner of the room as that was the best place to see someone trying to stick a shiv up your back. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, he remembered.

"So what do you think of this Commander Al Bundy?" she asked, looking at his antics of dancing to some piped in music, a beer in his hand.

"I'd say that it is a good thing he is wearing a one-piece uniform and cannot take off his shirt and subject us to a sight I'd rather keep unseen and away from my thoughts," he replied seriously.

"There's something about him that I cannot put my finger on. He's not as powerful as Q. He's not even stronger than Ensign Parker over there. But there's something about him..." she trailed off.

While initially upset that the ship didn't have a nudie bar, being in this universe had affected Al and he did his best to enjoy himself and the party at hand. He got 10 kegs of beer flowing, the cheap finger food flowing, and a Vulcan doc getting sloshed on kool-aid sludge. But what surprised him was when Geordi wheeled in a gift. It was a very large white box with a red bow.

"For me?" Al asked all smiles.

"You deserve it, Commander," Geordi replied, one hand around the waist of a pretty Ensign who only last story had been infatuated with Commander Riker with Geordi coming up his usual second place.

Commander Bundy pulled the wrapper and the box fell off in pieces revealing a black leather recliner with the stick on the side to get the foot rest up.

Ooooohh. Heaven.

"Oh, man," sniffed Al. "This is fantastic. Thank you from the bottom of my heart." Sniff. Al sat down in it easily, a satisfied smile on his face. Aahh.

He put the foot rest up. Double Aahh.

He kicked his shoes off. Triple Aahh.

"Now I can put my finger on his power," Guinan gagged as she raced for the main door.

Captain Picard was one step behind and encountered Mr. Worf at the door also in full retreat. "Mr. Worf, I want answers on how to return Commander Bundy back to his reality and I want it ASAP. Got it?!"

"I'll get right on it, sir," he replied, moving to assist a gagging Geordi who had escaped with his date.

A CRACKED MIRROR REALITY AWAY

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Was tired. Fell asleep in kitchen area. Wok up to si Peggi smiling at me. Lipstick on her two fronte teethe. Wanted feet rubed. No choice. *#&$) *#&%$&^ ! No choice Must git go home soon. Bad people here. Very bad. End report.

-o0o-

Commander Riker went looking for Bud. He walked by the same fritzzing and sparking control panel from the last chapter, noticed the controlled environmental settings on the lower decks had changed for the worse, considered fixing it, thought it over while swaying his head to the left, then to the right, shrugged, and walked off. He still had other business to attend to first.

Unfortunately, that business included him making his mandatory stop on the bridge for new assignments before tracking Bud down.

The turbolift doors opened, and Riker walked out on the bridge. Lt. Peggy looked up from her station where she had been coloring the display lights with her lipstick out of boredom, and also so that all the lights would look symmetrical and match her outfit. "Oh, goody, you're here," she smarmed. "Ha-ha-ha. For today's punishment, I want you to rub my shoulders. Unless you want to do something else?" Wink, wink.

Captain Marcy Darcy (hahaha) got to her feet, a scowl on her lips. "Now just you listen here, missy! You try rubbing her shoulders on my shift, and I'll send you to the brig! It's time to rub my tushie! Chop-chop!" She aimed her tushie at Riker.

"Oh God. Kill me dead!" he wailed.

"It is your punishment time, mister," Captain Marcy Darcy (hahaha) said. "Now come here and rub my tushie. Then you can do Peggy's shoulders before cleaning my bathroom." She wiggled her tushie at him.

"OH GOD! Whaa-aaa-aaa-aaaa!"

Commander Riker did something he had never done before women. He retreated to a stronger position, namely anywhere off the bridge. He hauled ass as soon as the lift doors opened and sprinted in record time for Engineering.

-o0o-

Bud, hunched over his ancient Atari system while wearing his cool red and green glasses, looked up and said, "We've just entered the orbit of Risa. Mom and Marcy didn't suspect a thing—I rigged it so that their outputs read that we were on our way to the spacemall all this time. The same solar storm is in progress that was going on when you beamed up. Did you finish my special little project?"

"Hmm?" Riker replied, distracted and looking over his shoulder as if to see a vengeful captain and a Lt. with waxy red ruby lips storming down on him to drag him back to foot rubbing Hell! "Oh, yes. That. Yes, it's done. She didn't realize a thing. I gave her a local sleeper while doing it. She'll be up in a few minutes anyway, so the sooner you get me out of here the better, okay?"

"Sure, sure. What's the rush?" Bud asked as they walked towards the transporter room. The vacuum was still there, and Riker punched it before getting on the other pad, stunning the mad beast.

Suddenly, a voice blared over the intercom. "Wiiillllll? It's time for my 4pm bon-bon feeding! Punishment time!"

Riker shivered in a cold fear.

Bud shivered in a cold fear for the man.

Jefferson, already at the controls, shivered in sympathy.

In the background of the intercom, they heard, "Peggy! I'm not getting enough Riker punishment time of my own. I need more time for him to do more chores since that lazy Jefferson won't do it and I want you to let me have some of Riker's time."

"Listen, Marcy, I have him booked enough as is. Tell you what, though. He gets way too much sleep during his five hours off every night, so why don't you put him to work during that time."

Riker flipped Bud the little black book and said, "Energize, energize, energize, energize!"

Bud diddled with the controls, putting them back to their settings effortlessly despite Jefferson screwing them in his vain attempt to help and restore his status as the number 1 hunk on the ship.

Riker beamed out.

A CRACKED MIRROR REALITY AWAY

And beamed back to the Enterprise.

He looked around the transporter room for signs of a mad vacuum, found none, and then noticed it was clean.

He then noticed Mr. O'Brien at the controls who viewed him with a shocked expression, his mouth forming an

Commander Riker stepped off the transporter pad, his left shoe squeaking every other step, and headed for a lift.

As he stepped onto the bridge, the first thing that Captain Picard noticed was that his first officer's hair looked mussed, his beard had grown out without being trimmed back, he looked like he could use 30 days of sleep, and his uniform, while red and black, was not quite up to Starfleet standards. For one thing, command insignia were not drawn on collars with a black marker.

"Ah, Number One. It is good to have you back onboard," Picard said, rising out of the captain's chair, extending his hand.

"It's good to be back, sir," Riker responded, shaking the hand. He then looked about for any sort of attack by a red head with an affinity for bon-bons and tushie rubs. Finding none, he warily made his way to his customary chair. With a sigh of pure satisfaction, he planted his posterior into the space age fake-leather chair, enjoying the smell of a well-polished vinyl seat.

Counselor Troi sat on Picard's left. Her eyes were open with disbelief. Commander Riker actually looked good in denim jeans.

"Well, Commander. I, er, ah, can't wait to see your report." Picard smiled for lack of anything else to say. Then he pulled his tunic down because, let's face it, space-polyester is just not that comfortable of a material. Regardless of how resistant it is to space radiation.

"I'll get right on it, sir. But I can tell you this. It feels great to be back where I belong."

"Well, anyway, welcome back," Capt. Picard said.

Commander Riker, at peace for the first time in a week, and knowing he did not have to look forward to rubbing feet later, relaxed. He settled into the chair, letting it comfort and pull him in as he stuck his right hand down his pants near the zipper. He smiled and sighed.

Captain Picard noticed his behavior and turned to his counselor for an explanation.

She looked past Capt. Picard at Will for a second. Then, to Picard, "It'll take him a little time to readjust to our way of living."

A CRACKED MIRROR REALITY AWAY

Al beamed aboard the Dodge 2610X.

"Welcome back, dad," said Bud. He was wearing his red and green cool glasses again.

Lt. Jefferson said, "Welcome back, Al. You old mangy ugly looking dog. Whooo-ooo! I'm back to being number one again!" he jumped for joy as he left the transporter room.

"Bud!" screeched Lt. Peg. "Where's Riker and what is he... oh, hi, Al."

"Bud," hissed Captain Marcy Darcy (hahaha). "Where's Riker? And what's Al doing back here?"

"Yes, Bud," hissed Lt. Peg. "Can we get him back and send you-know-who off again?" she nodded to you-know-who.

Al looked confused, his eyebrows almost becoming one thick shag of hair on his forehead.

"Sorry, mom. The solar storms are ending."

"Oh." To Al, "Hah-hah. Al! Welcome back, baby. It's good to see you again."

"Ah well, shoot me dead before I have to listen to any more of this," he said matter-of-factly.

The curse was back to its intended, Bud thought as his scanners picked up the field's presence on Al's body.

Al quickly found an area on his uniform and stuffed his hand down his pants. Peg rushed to a side panel and ordered a spicy burrito for Al.

He shrugged when presented the hot, steaming mess, and then began eating it.

Mid-bite, she asked, "Bud, what are the chances of you beaming me down to the surface and then my beaming up onboard the Enterprise?"

"Not good, mom. The system needs two bodies, one from each side, to work."

Al interrupted any more questions. "Peg, you told me that the food dispensers were broken last week when I asked for a burrito. So how did they get fixed all of a sudden? Did the magical food-dispenser fairy come by and fix them?"

Peg looked uncomfortable and guilty. Her foot twisted and her hips bounced as she fidgeted, saying, "Well…"

"Daddy?" came a shaky question from outside the door.

Al looked away from Peg and said, "Come in, pumpkin."

Lt. Kelly Bundy entered shakily. She wore her traditional miniskirt and tube-top Starfleet uniform. Her outfit would have normally stopped men in their tracks, but this time instead of a blond head of hair complimenting the fashion statement, a green spiked hairdo with purple highlights insisted that she was going to have a tough time getting rid of that perm, thanks to a certain Commander Riker, and if she ever got her hands on him…

Bud chuckled, while looking through his black book, his thoughts going back to the holograms at hand.

-o0o-

In two different realities, two different ships continued their voyages through the black sea of space.

The End

Author's note:

I never wrote any further Star Trek fanfics. The next exciting adventure was supposed to be: DATA's STORY: TELEVISION ADDICTS! I had thought to create a stand-alone fanfic for all the command staff (Data, Geordi, Worf, Troi, and Crusher), but never finished it for a variety of reasons, the most notable being I had a life to live, a marriage to make work, and beginning a career testing software.

At this point there are no plans to continue this storyline. Should anyone wish to continue it, feel free. I don't mind at all. I simply ask you send me a PM with a link of where the new story is so I can read your work.