To the Broken Hearted and the Wearied Souls
I know you cry
I saw you die
I knew the pain inside your eyes
...
In this one moment, people cry and people died. Hearts are broken as hearts are mended. Smiled are shared, in the moment that one hides in the dark corner of their rooms afraid of the mere presence of sunlight outside. And when you're happy another's sad, and when you're broken, someone's out there glad….
...
Spencer was worried and distracted.
Her joyful escapades of the weekend, which had entailed generous servings of revenge on Aria and Hanna for locking her and Toby in the wine cellar, had all faded into a dry mist being replaced by a nagging, surging feeling at the pit of her stomach.
The world around her was bustling and busy, with hushed arguments and resentful agreements, sawdust making the air almost unbearable and men executing their plans in mildly soaked shirts. Despite, all of this, she was still.
In the middle of Hanna's in- construction store she was trying to recount the details of what had happened.
Maybe there was something she had missed. Maybe Emily had told her something that she had forgotten.
She came up with nothing.
Not seeing her friend, for almost three days, if she counted the day of the Gala was enough to nearly send her over the edge. Her anxiety was coupled with fear, when she listened to the voice mail that Emily had sent her that night.
"There's something I need to tell you Spencer. Call me!"
What was even stranger was the voice-mail, that followed, left 4 hours later by a now sober Emily.
"Hi, Spence, I called you last night. I don't know if you got the message, but it's okay. I got what I needed-".
It ended abruptly, with no goodbyes or prior warning.
Hanna and Aria had made numerous attempts at convincing her, that this was normal, but uncertainty had sprung up again after she had replayed the messages . The words had resounded off of her hollow bedroom walls, and somehow she had heard the urgency in Emily's voice in the first message and her stressed calmed in the second, as crystal clear as the sky that lavished the day outside today.
After, she had call Emily, and everyone in direct and indirect relation to Emily, she had been finally overcome by fatigue and fell asleep.
The sleep had done nothing to soothe her and she had woke up with the feeling again, only tripled in amount.
Presently, as she stood aiming to carry out her task as an Interior Designer, and failing miserably, she being overcome with possible scenarios of Emily's situation at the moment.
"Spencer….Spencer….?"
Spencer looked up, her eyes still drenched in distress. Brian stood, at least a foot above her, his eyebrows furrowed "Is everything okay? He asked his voice deep with concern.
"I'm sorry, did I space out on you again? " Spencer feigned a smile, straightening her back from the slumped position that she had gradually assumed over the period of time where had had halted to a standstill.
"Yea" he smiled, then grew troubled again "Are you okay?"
Spencer waved her hand dismissively, trying her best not to reveal her discomfort "I'm fine. Just have a lot on my mind. Is this the layout for the dressing area? "She pointed the sheet of paper that laid forgotten in his grasp.
He looked them as though he had just become aware of the material between his fingers "Oh, yea. Take a look" He handed it to her and watched as she appraised his designs "You know, you should really be showing this to Hanna"
Brian smiled a dimpled smile as Spencer eyed him from behind a mesh of hair that had fall limply over her eyes. He was definitely a beauty, which made her all the more cautious. She had learned the hard way that beauty on the outside didn't ensure beauty on the inside and plus she was too busy… and not to mention still heartbroken to be caught up in a romance.
"I know," he sighed "this was just gave me an excuse to talk to you"
Caution up, attraction down. This wasn't the time. She pushed the paper back at him, smiling nonetheless "Here, take them to Hanna. I'm sure they'll be more beneficial to her" she asserted.
Noticing the change in mood, Brian sighed but pressed on nevertheless, trying eagerly to fixate the air around them to the itching electricity that they had shared the day he had first saw her. She seemed different since then, and though Toby had mumbled something about the two of them, he knew that there were huge chunks missing from Spencer and Toby's story. He had been contented to stay out of it, but earlier today when he had asked his best friend of 2 years, if it would be okay to ask Spencer out, he had gave him the go ahead. Still, he wasn't quite sure; they were some nervous rambling, biting of the tongue and beads of perspiration dripping down Toby's head before he had finally told him 'yes'. He had however attributed the last factor the blazing, determined -to –melt- everything- in its path sun outside.
"Since, I'm already here," he started nervously "I was thinking that maybe we could... I don't know go out sometime. Maybe beyond the confines of our workplace" He laughed timidly, awaiting Spencer's response.
She didn't lift her head, she had already made up her mind and it was evident in her reaction what the answer was. Still, he waited for her to say it.
"I don't think that's such a good idea, Brian. I mean we work together, I wouldn't want things to get complicated or awkward"
"Well if we do go on a date and you don't call back, I know where you work." His attempt to lighten the mood failed miserably. Spencer gave a small laugh to ease his bruise ego.
"It's about Cavanaugh right?" he asked after a moment of awkward silence.
Surprised, then not so surprised Spencer looked up and quietly admitted "No, it's about me." This wasn't a lie, Spencer thought. It was all about her heart mending. So what if she hadn't gone out on a proper date in nearly two years. She wanted to give her heart the proper time it needed. Life was too short, to waste on the unnecessary after all. She didn't want to put herself out there just to find, maybe on the day of her wedding to someone else that she was still stuck on a certain blue eyed boy. So, yes, it was in her right to say 'no' and that's what she did.
Somehow signals caught misdirected and Brian sighed happily "Okay, then, well then I stand a better chance. If it was another dude, then I'd know I was done, especially Cavanaugh, the girls flock to him." He laughed, then purse his lips, his eyes growing serious "I'll keep trying. You seem like something special Spencer."
Charm, Spencer thought as he walked away. Sociopaths had charm too, she would still keep her defense up, she decided.
She looked over at Hanna at the other side of the store, despite all of the chaos around her, she stood out like a sore thumb. In a sea of grey shirts, messy haired, sweaty people she was fabulously dressed, a sharp penciled shirt, pressed to perfection, her blonde hair like golden waves cascading gracefully down her neck and a whiter-than-white blouse, one button down, revealing enough cleavage to leave onlookers curious.
Directly in front of her Toby stood, seemingly uninterested in whatever Hanna was ranting about. His eyes caught hers, they were anxious, searching hers with an aching familiarity. She darted her eyes away quickly, but look up again just as quickly to get another dose of the safe surrender that the sight of him emitted towards her.
He smiled his face lighting up. Why did he have to make things so easy?
There was a safety and a calm that couldn't be forced with him. It was the same calm that had been avoiding her all day, with all the worry about Emily.
Spencer stuck her pencil in the binder before closing it shut. She strode over to where they stood, Toby eyes watching her every moment with dancing eyes, and an un-telling satisfaction"
"These dressing rooms are too wide. Are they going to live in there? We need the extra space for the actual clothing." Hanna was nagging as Spencer approached them. "Are you even listening to me Toby?"
"Hi Han? Spencer interrupted "Do you think we can get an early lunch today?"
Hanna spun around to her friend, "Oh yes! I'm starving! What are we having? Chinese? Oh no, I had Chinese with Caleb last night, so Chinese's out." She rambled on.
Spencer chuckled lightly under her breath "Han, I was actually asking about Toby and I… if you think we can get go out for lunch early"
Simultaneously, Hanna and Toby's face grew shock. "You- you want to go out –to lunch? With Toby?" Hanna stuttered looking at Toby now for some sort of information that she maybe had missed out on.
"Yes" she responded definitely "Is that okay?"
Still shocked, Hanna responded with a curious nod. "Okay, go on but be sure to be back soon. We have a deadline to meet."
Grabbing a nearly stoic Toby by the hand, Spencer grasped her purse with the other and left with him tagging behind her. Brian eyes trailed to the exit, questions forming in his mind.
"I need your help" Spencer had said when they were both comfortably seated in her car.
Sensing the edge in her voice, his answer was immediate "What is it?"
"It's Em. I'm worried about her, and I know Hanna and Aria told me not to, but I have this gut wrenching feeling that something's up so I thought that maybe you could help. You do know her well"
Toby did know her well, he knew that many a day, Emily would leave for a number of days to ski in the mountains or swim in a lake. She was quiet the adventurer. Toby also knew Spencer very well also. He knew that when things bother her, it was for a reason. He was familiar with the wailing ache in her voice.
"Let's try her apartment."
Emily's apartment stood near the border of Rosewood, littered amongst the other dozens of tiny apartment. Spencer shivered at the contact of the wind against her sun soaked skin; it was hung heavy and almost claustrophobic in the air, and though the sun beamed happily overhead, it did nothing to disperse the almost haunting atmosphere.
Up two flights of hard, cemented steps, with slightly increased heart rates, Spencer and Toby finally reached the floor where their friend lived. Spencer knocked loudly on the light green slight door "Em? Em? Emily?" She called out and when no answer had returned she turned to Toby helplessly.
Moving her easily out of the way slightly, Toby gave his turn, to no avail however as there came no response.
Spencer leaned against the wall, defeated and even more worried than she had been before, when Toby began to pick precariously at the lock on the door.
"What are you doing Toby?" she asked perplexed
He lifted up his head, his body stooped "Getting us in, don't worry, we'll leave everything the way we met it."
She looked around uneasily, until she heard the click of a lock, and her heart sprung. He allowed her to enter first then followed behind her before closing the door behind them.
"What exactly are we looking for?" For once Spencer was clueless.
"Anything that would tell about where she might have gone"
Everything was squeaky clean, her bed perfectly made, her photos perfectly aligned, her shoes in military order. The room was over meticulously cleaned. Something about the way, it was done, remind her of her cleaning.
Spencer looked around the room, her eyes doing a surface scan, her hands doing an in depth search. She managed to carefully turn over the items in her drawer, careful not to askew them. At the other side of the room, Toby was searching just as fervently; making sure that no stone was left un-turn.
There wasn't much to the apartment and in less than a half an hour, they had search every conceivable nook and cranny and came up with nothing, not even dust.
Tired and defeated, Spencer sat on the floor, resting her back on the white sofa that took up half of her friend's living room. She sent a hand over her face, then through her lengthy mahogany hair. Toby sat quietly beside her "Hey, Spencer, I'm sure she's all right"
She said nothing for a moment; she just sat with her face buried in her hand. Her voice was broken and raspy when she finally spoke "It's just that the last time we spoke, she was so adamant to tell me something. She seemed tensed and worried and I brushed it off. I feel like I haven't been there for her in a long time"
"What are you talking about Spencer; you're a great friend to Em-
"No, I haven't been." Spencer rose to her feet, furious at herself "I knew the problem that she had. I knew the struggles that she was going through. Out of all of us, I feel like she lost the most. The fact that she's still sane is baffling. She lost nearly everything and I did nothing." Tears were escaping her eyes now, as Toby stood behind her a soothing hand on her back "Is it possible that someone can die right before your eyes and not even notice it." She continued, her eyes red, " Because I feel as Hanna, Aria and I were genuinely laughing, she was genuinely fading slowly, and we saw the signs but we were too caught up in our own worlds to do anything-" her words broke off in a sob.
Toby wrapped a crying Spencer in his arms, trying to soothe her. He spoke into her hair "You're being too hard on yourself Spence, you love Emily and I'm sure that she knows it. Wherever she is, I'm sure she's safe." He kissed her hair absently, before she looked up with red rimmed eyes, sniffing. He took her face between his hands, determine to soothe her "Emily is okay, she'll call, just-"he enveloped her into another hug "Just trust that Spencer"
They stood like that for a moment, her tugging on his leather jacket, he embracing her in his arms, swaying slightly as though to rock her to sleep. Her eyelid closed for a moment, as she was met with a blindly red behind them, then a surging darkness. His heartbeat was serene, lulling her to calm. She opened her eyes again, the images of her surroundings blurry, then fix.
"A ticket…" Spencer croaked suddenly
Toby released her "Huh?"
She pointed to the plane ticket on the table. In trying to search all the darkest corners they had forgotten to look in the most obvious of places. Spencer snatched it up in her hand, looking it over. Attached to it was a note: "Gone to Cali, be back Next week"
A sea of relief wash over both Toby and Spencer as they got confirmation that they friend was no doubt safe. All thoughts of her laying a ditch somewhere vanished. Hanna and Aria had been right all along and this was just her hyper active mind getting the better of her.
She looked up at him and smiled "She's okay!" plunging herself once again into his arms.
"Yea" he smiled.
Hanna had forgotten her purse in the store. She marched back, angrily, pissed at Toby and Spencer for not returning to work, even after she had left them both 20 voice messages. None of which were reciprocated. She was even more agitated at Spencer for super gluing her shoes closet door shut, in an effort of revenge for locking her and Toby in the wine cellar a couple of days ago.
She looked down at her slippers adorn feet and groaned.
What made the night even stranger was running into Ezra Fitz. He was in a hurry and didn't stay stood less than a microsecond to mumble his 'hi' before he was off again, into the dark night.
God, why was Rosewood so weird, she thought.
She grabbed the knob to push the key into the door. Her arm gave way, as there was no restraint on the entrance. It was already opened. Her breath caught in her chest, as she tried to make an excuse for what had happened here.
However, as the door slowly creaked opened, her heart accelerated a million paces and her body grew weak. She was beyond flabbergasted, in a suspended state of shock, and after she bent almost mechanically to retrieve one of the many photographs that had been strewn in dozens across the floor, she completely lost it.
Spencer looked down at the note that she had took from Emily's apartment earlier today. After they had found it, she and Toby had grabbed a celebratory lunch. It was comfortable to be with him, and in those moments, she pushed away the pain that she still felt. He had comforted her; he had helped her without a second thought to it. He was still the same caring Toby Cavanaugh. She was happy to know.
She held the note in her hand smile triumphantly- the reassurance of her friend's safety. Her eyes dance with the letters as they rose in their high letter and sunk drastically. Perfect cursives.
Something changed in her. Perfect cursives, perfectly tidied room. The old nagging feeling came over, and when she realized it, she gasped.
She quickly ran to her drawer, where ton and tons of postcards had been kept away. When she finally found the right one, she held it up, side by side by the note.
Her eyes grew with a frightening realization.
How had she not noticed before?
This was not Emily's handwriting.
It was Melissa's.
...
I don't know how this turn into a mystery. I guess it's combination of PLL, CSI, and Bones. Don't worry Emily's okay, she's just...*cough cough* yea so...
So tell me what just think? Is Ezra the new Lucas? Is Rosewood possessed? Is Emily sun tanning in California? Did Aria evaporate into thin air? Did Spencer running to Toby made you happy? Is this Brian guy, a new generation Ted Bundy? Tell me. I'm all ears.
-Tane
