Disclaimer: don't own.
Nearly all the men, women, and children of Colchis had gathered on the broad plain outside their city's east wall to watch what was sure to be an epic spectacle. In their center sat King Aeetes, a gray-haired and gray-bearded but still vigorous man who gripped the arms of his golden throne with long and powerful fingers. His daughter Medea, a raven-haired beauty with bright red lips and strikingly pale, porcelain skin, stood at his right hand, masking her anxiousness with supreme self-control.
In the center of the unplowed plain, two gargantuan bulls pawed impatiently at the earth and snorted. No ordinary cattle, the bulls were the creation of the smith-god Hephaestus, given to Aeetes by his father Helios, the Sun-god. Their hides were golden, their hooves of solid bronze – and from their vast nostrils fire spurted with every breath. It was Aeetes' command to Jason that he yoke these bulls – neither of which had ever known the plowshare – and plow the earth, then sow it with dragon's teeth, from which mighty warriors would spring whom Jason would be compelled to fight. Only after completing these seemingly impossible tasks would the young Thessalian prince be allowed to depart with the Golden Fleece.
Off to one side, where the Argonauts stood in a little cluster, said prince was – not to put too fine a point on it – freaking out. He paced back and forth and wrung his hands convulsively, muttering to himself a string of indistinguishable syllables broken occasionally by very jarring profanities.
"Would you knock it off already?" snapped Jade. "Medea worked her herbal mojo on you, didn't she? The bulls' fire-breath can't harm you, and they'll submit to your touch without a fight, so you've got absolutely no reason to worry."
"The sorceress did make such a promise, but how can I be certain the unguent will succeed? What if she prepared it incorrectly? Or what if she has deceived me, and all her protestations of love are feints made at the prompting of her father to lure me into destruction?"
Time to light a fire under him, Jade thought. She said, in a mocking, sing-song tone, "What if, what if, what if. God, for a mythological hero, you're such a wuss. Forget about wrestling bulls – you couldn't even take down a two-day-old calf, could you?"
Rage swelled in him, making a blood vessel in his forehead stand out and palpably throb. "I will not have my bravery impugned by the likes of you! Stand aside, wench!" He gave her a rude shove and strode forward toward the fearsome bulls, which, out of sheer boredom, had begun to lock horns and tussle with each other.
One of the pair spotted Jason in the corner of his eye, and turned to face him. The creature opened its mouth wide and unleashed a stream of flame that baked the earth before it to a crisp, then tensed its forequarters and prepared to charge. Its compatriot did likewise.
Jason, seeing this aggressive display, froze in his tracks. "I…um…I may need a bit more unguent. The heat of the day is making me sweat far too much, you see, and it's all running off. Just a bit more, and I'll be ready to go. And…I'll go get it…right over there…bye now!" He turned tail and sprinted into the distance, as the watching Colchians burst into raucous laughter and catcalls. Only Medea remained silent, but her clouded eyes betrayed her dismay and embarrassment on her lover's behalf.
The seven Hollywood Arts students were no less distraught. "Well, so much for the Fleece – and getting home," muttered Robbie.
"It's not over yet!" The force of Jade's outburst stunned everyone in earshot, herself included. When exactly did I get so passionate about leading? "…Look, if Jason isn't up to the task, we'll just have to pick up the slack ourselves. Where's Trina?"
The elder Vega sister had wandered a few yards away from her friends, and was fiddling with her left sandal. "I swear, there's just no way to fix these things that doesn't make my ankles look puffy. Can't somebody invent high heels already?"
Jade sighed. "Focus, bubblehead. You've got unbelievable strength – a hell of a lot more than Jason, that's for sure – and you're as tough as iron to boot. Why don't you have a go at yoking those bulls?"
"And mess up my hair? I don't think so. It's bad enough that I can't get ahold of a good conditioner here – you think I'm going to roll around in the dirt and muddy up my scalp?"
Tori groaned, turned and yelled into the crowd, "Anybody want to trade sisters?"
All right, desperate times call for desperate measures. Jade slowly opened her palm.
Trina gasped. "Is that…is that what I think it is?"
"Yup. A tube of lipstick. I had it in my pocket when we arrived, and I've been saving it ever since."
"GIMME! Gimme gimme gimme!" Trina snatched for it, but Jade yanked her hand away.
"You get it after you yoke the bulls."
"Aw, darn it…" Trina silently weighed her options: on the one hand, freedom from mortal danger; on the other, access to cosmetics. At last she clenched her fists in determination and cried, "Let me at those overgrown hamburgers!"
"That's the spirit!" Jade stood aside as Trina charged into the fray. The first bull immediately reared, and warning smoke began to pour from its nostrils; but before it could follow the smoke with actual flame, Trina seized its face and blocked its nose with her hands. Jade could tell from Trina's wincing that the convection heat she faced was painful indeed, probably blistering her palms; but, to the elder Vega's credit, she refused to relent. At last, the creature tore itself from her deadly grip and gasped for air. Trina seized the opportunity and struck the bull with a mighty uppercut, sending it sprawling. The other animal, infuriated, charged at her from the right, but she spun about in time and intercepted it, wrapping her arms around its midsection and halting its forward motion.
As Trina energetically grappled with the two bulls, Robbie pointed into the far distance, where the sky met the horizon line. "Do you see that?"
"Uh, dude? You're the one with the super eyesight, remember? Of course we can't see…" Jade stopped as she realized what Robbie meant – for, while the phenomenon had been imperceptible to her naked eye before, it was now growing exponentially and impossible to miss, even if it was also impossible to believe.
Fissures were appearing in the sky. It was as if the heavens were a porcelain bowl which some giant was tapping all over its surface with a ballpeen hammer; with every blow, a web of cracks radiated outward.
Jade looked back to Trina. The powerful Latina had just downed the smaller of the two bulls with a well-timed elbow strike, and gave a shout of triumph. The Goth turned her gaze to the sky once more; the rate of fissuring was accelerating.
This doesn't make any sense at all. It's like the whole world is…breaking somehow. And the closer Trina comes to winning, the faster it breaks…
Wait a minute.
"Robbie," she asked slowly, "Do you know any telling of the Argonaut myth where Heracles yokes the bulls of the Sun instead of Jason?"
The frizzy-haired youth, who was standing at her left elbow, thought for a moment. "Um…no. Every version I can think of explicitly says that Jason carried out all the trials of Aeetes, with Medea's help. In fact, come to think of it, usually Heracles isn't even with the Argonauts this late in the story. He gets left behind – sometimes it's because he's too heavy and he threatens to swamp the ship just by being on it, sometimes he runs off to chase after his boyfriend Hyllas after Hyllas gets abducted by water nymphs. After all, the storytellers had to have some reason why a mediocre guy like Jason gets to save the day and bring back the Fleece, instead of the world's mightiest hero."
"Okay…" Jade could not shake a growing feeling that something was wrong, terribly wrong. She didn't know precisely what, but somehow she knew that Robbie's words were the key to it all.
Suddenly, as she stared at the horizon, her vision split in two. In her left eye was the world she knew – marred by the strange cracks in the sky, but otherwise whole. In the right was the same landscape, but transformed into a scene of hellish horror. The dome of the sky had fallen completely, leaving only a black void, and shards of blue drifted in a tumultuous blood-red sea. The earth was riven with fissures from which poured great streams of lava; everywhere and everything they touched, stone, plant, animal – or human – was instantly reduced to steaming cinders. At last all the world was one great ash-heap; and then a mighty wind arose that swept it upward in spirals and out of sight. Nothing remained above or below Jade but the abyss, and silence.
As she cried out in terror, startling her friends, her eyesight returned to normal. The earth was restored, and the blue heavens as well – but the cracks were still there, and broadening.
Only Jason ever yokes the bulls…
"STOP!" She ran forward into the open, flailing her arms about wildly, ignoring the Colchians' baffled looks. "Trina! Stop it NOW!"
One bull was already unconscious; Trina was sitting astride the other and had her arms locked around its neck, while it struggled desperately in her grip, trying in vain to throw her off. "Okay, you're the one who…unnngh…who told me to do this, and now you want me to….nnngh…let go? Make up your dang mind already!"
"You don't understand! You have to let Jason do it! Otherwise you'll destroy everything!"
"But…oh, fine. Whatever." The older girl dismounted, leaving the bull to roar and buck about in the field.
Jade looked about frantically until she spotted a small scarlet-haired figure in the midst of the throng of sailors. "Cat! Go find Captain Chicken, and bring him back here ASAP!"
"You don't have to spell it out for me," Cat said huffily. "I know what an asap is."
"What? There's no such thing as – gaah! Just go!"
The men who stood around Cat leapt to the side to give her room as she unfurled her wings and soared into the sky. Gliding on the air currents, she spotted the captain of the Argo huddled in a nearby glade, his chin resting on his knees. As she descended, she heard him whimpering to himself: "Of course I could do it. But why take the risk? What if I were to die and leave the crew without a leader? Why, they should commend me for having the good sense to run away!"
Being so absorbed in his self-condolences, he failed to hear Cat's graceful approach until she suddenly hooked her arms around his chest and lifted him into the air. "Put me down, manic one! Put me down, I say! How dare you defy your captain?"
"Wow, you're almost as noisy as my brother was when my parents told him they were sending him to obedience school! Tee hee hee!"
She lowered the thoroughly flustered Jason down onto the plain. As soon as his feet touched earth, he turned to flee once more, but found Tori and Jade blocking his path. His hand went to the hilt of the sword that hung at his hip – but, with a blur of motion, the sword was in the Latina's hands instead.
"Nuh uh," said the Goth, crossing her arms. "You're not leaving until you yoke those bulls and plow this field."
"Everyone defies me today! My authority is in tatters! I shall be the laughing stock of all Thessaly!"
Jade strode forward and poked his chest with her index finger. "You really wanna fix your reputation, testosterone boy? Then get. To. Work."
"Blast you, woman of the prickly tongue! Your logic is…" He sighed heavily. "…irrefutable. So be it."
Turning, Jason advanced toward the two ferocious bulls. Almost immediately the nearer of the pair snorted fire that raked Jason's bare chest and biceps, making him cringe in terror – but Medea was as good as her word, and the herbs she had applied to his body deflected the flame without any harm to him. His confidence now restored, he hefted the heavy yoke and dashed forward, slamming it down onto the shocked bulls' necks; as soon as he touched them, their knees buckled, and they made no attempt to resist, thanks, once again, to the sorceress' magic. The fickle crowd that had booed him only a few minutes before now cheered wildly, while Medea smiled and Aeetes gaped in shock and dismay.
The cracks in the sky silently resealed themselves. Jade let out a sigh of relief.
"Okay," said the sweaty and dirt-covered Trina, "you wanna tell us what's going on?"
"You were breaking the boundaries of the myth," Jade explained. "I think we all have a certain degree of flexibility in what we can do here – André was able to charm the dolphins and get us through the Clashing Rocks, for example, because that's Orpheus' proper job – but we can't stretch things too far. No matter what version of the story you're reading, Heracles never yokes the golden bulls, only Jason – so when you tried to usurp his role, the myth-world started to shatter. If you had succeeded in subduing them, it would have been the end of everything."
Trina's face went completely white. "…Oops."
"Well, this is just great," said Tori. "It's not enough that we have to face all these deadly perils – now we have to make sure that we don't cause the freaking apocalypse by facing the wrong perils."
"Relax, Vega," Jade replied. "Maybe we'll be able to turn that disadvantage into an advantage somewhere down the road."
/
When Jason had successfully plowed the field with the twin fire-breathing bulls, he proceeded to the next step of Aeetes' challenge and sowed the furrows with serpent's teeth, from which, just as had been prophesied, rows of fully armored warriors promptly sprung. As per Medea's instructions, he hurled a stone at one of their number, which immediately set them to fighting amongst themselves until all had fallen. But Aeetes, violating his word, refused to hand over the Fleece; and so the desperate Jason met Medea that night in the grove of Hecate once again.
She withdrew a clay flask from her cloak. Inside was a peculiar greenish liquid that bubbled and frothed with great abandon. A whiff of its musky odor reached Jason's nose, and he found himself flooded with a powerful urge to sleep.
"Wake up, my love," said Medea sharply. "This is to be used on the dragon that guards the Fleece – not on you."
"Again you have come to my rescue in my hour of need." Jason cupped her face in his hands and kissed her pale brow. "When we return to Pagasae, I shall make you my queen, and all the Achaeans will hail you as their savior."
"Words cannot express how I long for that day to come," she replied. "But there is one other matter before we go to enchant the dragon – those strange seven members of your crew continue to pester me to return them to their far-away home. Would you have me obey them, or no?"
His face darkened. "No. Never."
"But…I was given to understand that you would give them leave to depart once they had served you on your quest. What more is there that they can do?"
"That I do not yet know. But to have seven such extraordinary persons in my service, and dependent upon me for the very necessities of survival – it is surely a gift from the gods, and not one to be tossed aside lightly. So long as I am master of the Argo, they shall have no escape save death."
