Mister Lonely

Mutuality

xx

I couldn't sleep all night. I kept repeating that day's events over and over in my head as I lay motionless on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Maybe I dozed off at some point, maybe I didn't. I couldn't tell because whether it was my thoughts or my dreams, my head was always displaying the same thing. All I knew was that eventually I got up at six in the morning the next day. I wasn't exactly hungry, but I continued to plod down the stairs to the kitchen for breakfast.

Dishes clanked noisily together as I rummaged through the cupboard looking for a cereal bowl. I winced slightly at the sounds, not sure whether or not I was being too loud. I seemed to recall the knowledge that my parents slept like logs, and I hoped that the same went for Ruby.

Evidently not, though.

"What's the racket?" My twelve-year-old sister yawned as she trudged down the stairs in her Barbie-patterned pajamas. She plopped down at the kitchen table and stretched. "Craig, put a shirt on. And make me some cereal," she said groggily, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

I rolled my eyes, pouring another bowl of Cheerios.

We ate for a few minutes, and then Ruby started asking questions.

"How come you're up so early?"

"How come you're up so early?"

"I don't like sleeping while other people are up. Plus you were making too much noise. Answer my question," she pressed.

"…I couldn't sleep."

"Why? I've never seen you up before noon on a weekend."

"I've had a lot to think about lately."

"Oh? Like what?"

"Stuff you wouldn't understand."

"Like I'll believe that."

"Better believe it."

"Girl problems?"

"No."

"Boy problems?"

That kind of caught me off guard. "What?"

"So I have a gay brother?" She rested her chin in her hands, leaning her elbows on the table and grinning at me intently. "Who is it?"

Ruby was smarter than she seemed sometimes. "Fuck off."

"Come on! I've always suspected you were faggy, anyway."

I flipped her off, and she returned the gesture enthusiastically.

"Do I know him?"

"No."

"Can I meet him? Is he good looking?"

"I'm leaving."

I stood up, despite a protesting Ruby, and went to the door, pulling a sweater on. I couldn't find my hat right away so I just decided to leave without it.

The sun was just coming up, and it was freezing outside. I buried my hands in my coat pockets and hunched my shoulders as I stepped down to the icy sidewalk.

xx

I walked to the coffee shop, which was open with a few people already ordering coffee. I stood outside the window, craning my neck to see who was at the counter, but it was the man from yesterday who I now assumed was Tweek's dad. After further inspection of the café, I discovered Token lounging at a lone table in the corner. He didn't seem to have noticed me, but you never know with that guy, so I pretty much had no choice but to go talk to him.

I entered the shop, striding over to the tall dark boy. Shoving my hands in my jean pockets, I kept my gaze away from him, staring out the window watching the cars drive by.

"I thought you might come here."

My eyes narrowed at this little comment of his, but I kept them averted.

"So?"

"So," he replied coolly, "I came because I wanted to talk to you. Have a seat." He leaned back in his chair, interweaving his fingers together behind his neck as I sat down rigidly.

"Interrogating me won't get you anywhere."

"I'm not here to 'interrogate' you, Tucker. The opposite of that, actually. I came to give you answers."

This answer caught me off guard. I looked up into his calm, dark eyes, searching him for some sort of sign that he was deceiving me. I found none.

"I'm aware of certain… Events."

There were two problems with this asshole. One was that he seemed to know everything. The other was that he didn't have much consideration for the concept of 'keeping secrets'.

I shot him a half glare, but didn't say anything.

"I just thought you might want to know how Tweek feels."

This caught my attention. "What?"

"He was very confused, at first. But I'd have to say I have a good grip on what's going through your mind, so I explained it to him."

"What the fuck drives you to think you know how I feel?" I acted mad, but I was more scared. Terrified, actually. I had no doubt in my mind that Token knew exactly what I was thinking, although I'd never admit it.

"Well, let me guess. You hold certain feelings for Tweek, feelings that you yourself can't grasp but you know that whatever they are, they're real."

I hate this guy. Down to the very core.

"Do you want to know what that feeling is?"

Before he could get it out of his mouth, I leaped from my seat and threw a punch straight to the teen's face. Before it could come into contact, though, he caught my fist neatly with one hand and heaved a disapproving sigh. Instead of fighting back like most would do, though, he stood up, left a tip on the table, and strolled out of the coffee shop, just like that. I stood there in frustration watching him climb into his car in the parking lot and drive away. A few shocked people stared at me with fright, and I sent a death glare around, hastily making my way out of the place.

Damn that Token, reading my mind like a goddamn psychic and making a fool out of me in that sickeningly smug way of his. I wanted to beat something up, but making a victim out of an innocent wouldn't end well so I ran, desperately searching for someplace isolated to take out my anger.

I finally stopped running when I got to Stark's Pond. It had always been a place of solitude, at least for me, and it was a far away enough place from the rest of South Park. I walked over to the thick trunk of the tree that watched over the pond, leaning against it in exhaustion. Everything was going wrong and I didn't know how to fix it. I had talked to Token to get answers but the bastard just wouldn't quit being so conceited and irritating! In a blind rage, I slammed my fist into the tree, scraping my knuckles on its rough bark. Paying no attention to injury, I brought it into contact with the tree again, with more force this time. I heard bones cracking, but it didn't matter.

I continued to pummel the tree with angry vigor for a few minutes, before I sank to my knees in the snow, staring at my throbbing hand. It hurt, but I didn't care. I felt tired, and suddenly all I wanted to do was sleep. I lay down where I was, closing my eyes.

xx

I woke up. My vision was clouded over and it was snowing violently, bits of ice whipping my face as they blew by.

Had I been sleeping? Where was I?

I couldn't feel my face. Or my hands or feet. Pretty much the only thing I felt at the moment was confusion. I lay in the snow, staring up at a pair of wide, hazel eyes that leaned over me.

"…alright?" His lips were moving, but I could barely hear him.

"What?"

"Are y-you alright?" Tweek repeated.

"I'm fine…"

He gave me a disbelieving look. "Ngh, you look t-terrible. Can y-you get up?"

I sat up slowly and stiffly, wincing as my sore bones screamed into place. I groaned slightly as I caught sight of my mangled right hand. My head was spinning, and I was pretty sure Tweek was talking to me but I couldn't hear him. The only parts of my body that I could feel were throbbing with pain. I doubled over where I sat and fell over into Tweek, who twitched in surprise and braced his hands against my chest to keep the both of us from falling over.

"I-I'll take you to the hospital."

I stared down at my busted hand. "No."

"Agh! Then y-your house?"

"No."

"Where do -ngh- do you want to go?"

"I want to stay here." I was shivering acutely, speaking through my clenched teeth. "Can I talk to you…?"

"I-I really think we sh-should get out of the storm-"

I silenced him by bringing my good hand gently up over his mouth. "Please."

He fell silent.

"I'm sorry I've been acting like an ass lately." Maybe for a little- or a lot- longer than just 'lately', but that was besides the point.

"But I finally understand." I looked up into those wide, ever-nervous eyes of his and then wrapped my arms around his torso in an emotional embrace. His thin hands feebly gripped the upper sleeves of my jacket as I pulled him into a hug.

There was no doubt about it. "The person I love," I breathed, pulling back a bit from the hug to look at him, "is you."

Both of us were silent for a few seconds. Then Tweek finally spoke.

The electric blonde blushed, hesitating for a second. "Craig… I-I think I love you, too."

My eyes widened in surprise. I hadn't expected my feelings to be returned, but…

I smiled down at him, and at the moment, I felt no pain or ache, only happiness.

He smiled back at me timidly. "May-maybe we should get to a hospi-"

"There's one more thing," I interrupted, and without hesitation, I closed my eyes and gently pressed my lips against his. His body relaxed a little bit in my arms as he returned the kiss, and we stayed like that for a while before the cold soaked in and we pulled apart, shivering.

"Now we can go."

xx

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