"You guys sure you got everything?" Caleb asked as Hanna tugged on his jacket from her perch on the outdoor steps. She'd been trying to get him to hurry for the last fifteen minutes.
"Yes, we have everything," Spencer promised as Toby hoisted little Bridget up into his arms.
"Bye!" Bridget called, waving her chubby, little pink hands at her parents.
"Bye, baby girl," Hanna cooed, blowing her three year old a kiss.
The farewell from his daughter only served in making Caleb more frantic about leaving. "Maybe it isn't a good night-"
Before he could continue, both Spencer and Toby-and Hanna-groaned.
"Caleb, you have this problem every time you and Hanna have a date night," Toby reminded. "Bridget is fine. Me and Spence will take great care of her."
"Unless you're saying something about their babysitting skills," Hanna probed, giving her fiancé a pointed look.
"Yeah, Caleb," Spencer chimed in, placing her hands on her hips. "You aren't implying we don't take great care of your little munchkin?" She raised an eyebrow. "Are you?"
Caleb shook his head slowly, a smile fighting its way onto his face. "Okay, fine. You win. We're leaving," He conceded, deadpan.
"Finally!" Hanna cheered, dramatically.
Caleb reached for his daughter one more time. "I love you, Bridgey," He whispered, kissing her baby soft face.
"Daddy," She scolded, frowning. "My name is Bridget, spelled B-R-I-D-G-E-T, not Bridgey!" As soon as the toddler spoke, Spencer felt three pairs of eyes land on her, fully aware without asking who had taught the little girl such etiquette.
She couldn't hold back the giggle that erupted from her stomach, watching her favorite three year old correct her father. "Sorry," She defended, still laughing, holding her hands up in surrender. "I'm just helping her learn the basic skills of life."
"Cool, why don't you also teach her to not wet the bed?" Caleb suggested, curtly.
Hanna, who'd taken Bridget from Caleb's arms, handed her off to Spencer. "Sometimes I regret making you God-Mother over Emily," She rolled her eyes.
Spencer gaped at her best friend, artificially offended. But before she could retort, little Bridget spoke for her. "But I like Aunt Spencey better than Aunt Emmy," She said plainly, like it was basic knowledge.
Spencer grinned widely at Toby as he and Caleb laughed. "Do you want me to tell Aunt Emmy that?" Hanna asked her little clone.
"I don't care," The little blonde nonchalantly shrugged, before bursting into giggles. Spencer now rolled her eyes in Hanna's direction. Bridget was somehow the spitting image of both Hanna and Caleb at the same time.
After another long goodbye-again, mostly from Caleb-Toby closed the door as the couple made their way to their vehicle to hopefully attend their dinner reservations.
"I swear sometimes, Bridget, you're the only one in that house with common sense," Toby said, tickling her tummy.
The little blonde squealed and kicked her way out of Spencer's hold and into Toby's. Spencer may trump Emily but Uncle Toby trumped all. "What about Gramma?" Bridget inquired.
Spencer laughed at Toby's expression, which was dumbstruck, knowing the three year old would be repeating this information, verbatim-or at least what she retained-later to both her parents and Ashley Marin.
"She doesn't count," Toby placated, tickling the little child under her arms again.
"Stop!" She squealed, kicking her way down to the ground before taking off like a rocket, heading for the kitchen.
Spencer had to laugh, watching Toby chase after their God-Daughter, running around the kitchen island and into the living room, pretending she was faster than him and allowing her to believe the myth that she was winning this race.
It was so easy to look at that sweet little angel and forget the panic that had overpowered all their lives when Hanna first found out she was pregnant.
It had been the end of their senior year. Hanna had showed up to Spencer, short tempered and hysterically on edge, before blurting out that she was expecting. Apparently she and Caleb hadn't been as safe as they'd led on.
Ashley Marin-and Tom, for that matter-were far from happy but the teens' real concern came in the form of a black hoodie under the alias A. Mona had been murdered just mere months before and that had everyone uptight and agitated already, without adding a baby into the mix.
But, fortunately, -A was unmasked and arrested four months into the pregnancy and by the time Hanna's due date rolled around, Ashley had come to terms with their situation and amended that it was not a good idea to have two, unemployed, no income, eighteen year old parents out on their own to supply for a baby. She demanded Hanna go to college and that Caleb seek gainful employment as soon as available and in return, Caleb would be allowed to move in and she'd help raise her grandchild.
Of course, Hanna went into labor exactly when Caleb had barely started his new job and Spencer was the only one with her. It was during a street flooding thunderstorm-go figure-and the power was out. Instead of deciding to rough it on the cold, wet, slippery roads, Spencer opted to stay in the dry cover of the Marin household, telling herself they could just wait it out, until the streets cleared and then they could send an ambulance to come get her. Labor usually took hours upon hours of waiting. They could hope Hanna would take a while.
As always, hope breeds eternal misery.
Two hours later and Hanna was ready to push. Spencer had called and called Caleb and Ashley and Toby and Emily and Aria and even her own parents, all for help to no avail. Not one answered. Apparently the storm cut the reception too. She called the hospital, only to be told they couldn't help if Hanna wasn't there and Hanna couldn't get there until the storm was over. She called until her battery and Hanna's both ran out. Finally, resigned to the fact that this baby was coming, whether they were ready or not, and by a complete miracle of God, Spencer was able to coach Hanna and deliver the little screaming, pink bundle of joy.
Hanna passed out not long after holding her newborn baby and Spencer spent the duration of the storm-four and a half hours-rocking the baby, cuddling it and checking Hanna's vitals.
Not long after the birth, Hanna pronounced her brainiac best friend God-Mother over little Bridget Elody Rivers. Everyone agreed, still not over how impressed they were by Spencer's courage. Especially Toby, who had been so contrite that he hadn't been there for her in her hour of need. Even Aria and Emily, who Spencer had beaten out for God-Mother, agreed that she had definitely earned the title.
Spencer smirked as Bridget came running straight towards her with open arms. She scooped the little girl off the ground without thinking twice. From the first day of her life, Spencer had a very special connection to the pint sized blonde.
"Base!" Bridget called to Toby, who had been still chasing her.
"That's no fair, Bridge," Toby complained, coming to a standstill.
Spencer gave him a look. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm babysitting two toddlers, instead of one."
Both Toby and Bridget had complaints about that. "Hey!"
"I'm not a toddler! I'm a big girl!"
Spencer's face couldn't help breaking out into a huge grin, staring at the little girl. "Of course, you are!" She cooed, kissing her little blonde head. "And big girls have to eat."
"Ooo, can I have chocolate cake-or a pie-Oh! Do you have white whippy sauce that Daddy sprays on my cupcakes?" Bridget spouted off as Spencer carried her to the dining room table and sat her in a chair. "No, wait! Do you have brownies or a giant muffin from-"
As she continued to list all the sweets she wanted, Toby and Spencer made their way over to the cabinets, trying to find something the picky little princess would like. "I see she got her mother's taste," He murmured in his wife's ear.
Spencer swatted him, playfully. "It's not like Caleb is dishing out fruits and veggies."
Toby chuckled as Bridget explained, very loudly and animated, a chocolate malt she got from the Chubby's Diner in Philly once and a surprise chocolate desert she'd had last week. "I doubt he's the one giving ten pounds of chocolate a day," Toby said wryly.
After another minute of listening to Bridget retell how she had gotten double chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast with chocolate syrup, Spencer caved and laughed. "Okay, fine. You're right. It's Hanna. But we give her lots of candy too," She pointed out.
Toby shrugged, smirking. "Who could say no to that little face?" He asked, motioning towards the three year old, who was still vividly recounting more desert items that she ate in place of an actual meal.
Spencer shook her head, mocking him. "You really are wrapped around her little finger, you know that?"
"No," He grabbed her waist, pulling her over so that the gap between the two of them was non-existent. "I'm wrapped around your finger too."
Spencer smirked, playful again. "Oh, I see," She raised an eyebrow. "How so, exactly?"
"Oh, I don't know," He laughed. "Maybe because I give you exactly what you want, always."
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do not!"
"Do too!"
"Do-"
"Hey!" Bridget yelled over the couples banter. "No one is listening to me!"
"Of course, we were, honey," She placated, lifting the little girl out of the chair. "You were talking about desert," She rubbed her nose against the little girl's. "Speaking of which, why don't you go watch the TV while me and Uncle Toby make you brownies?"
"Can I watch TV and eat my brownies at the same time?" Bridget asked, waving her arms, a little grin coming to her face.
"Yes," Spencer allowed, fighting to roll her eyes. Hanna's kid. "But afterwards you need to take your bath and go to bed."
"Will you tuck me in?" She asked, sweetly now, bringing her chubby hand to Spencer's face.
"Yes," Spencer repeated again, knowing where Bridget was headed. "And, Uncle Toby will kiss you goodnight."
To that, the little girl beamed and Spencer felt Toby smirking behind her. "And will you make my brownies with chocolate chips?" Bridget asked, as if realizing she forgot an important detail, her eyes getting bigger.
"Definitely!" Toby promised from his stance, leaning against the counter.
"And white whippy sauce?"
"Would we deprive you of your white whippy sauce?" Toby teased, pretending to be stunned.
"Whipped cream," Spencer corrected, her tone completely serious, looking at both of them. "It's called whipped cream, you guys."
"Whipped cream!" Bridget exclaimed, throwing her hands up in excitement. "Oh! I haveta tell Daddy that!"
Toby pinched Spencer as Bridget kicked her way down, running again, to the living room to watch TV, hearing The Little Mermaid come on.
"Ouch!" Spencer complained, going to kick him in the groin.
"You're turning her into a mini you!"
"Oh, like that's a bad thing."
Toby shook his head, incredulous. "The world can only handle one," He teased, snaking his arms around her waist as she came to stand next to him.
"You really enjoy babysitting Bridget, don't you?" Spencer prodded after a second, looking at him.
Toby shrugged, squeezing her tighter to him, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I feel it's our duty as God-Parents," He kept his tone light.
"I'm serious, Toby," Spencer pulled back, looking him square in the eye for a few moments. "You really like being around kids. It's like you're in your element."
It was true, though Toby had always been a little more introverted than most, he had somehow found a certain bliss in playing with a child. Bridget yelling his name and running into his arms was one of his favorite things in the world. The way the little girl adored him made him feel like he was a better man, a better person than the boy who had once hid in an ally after two brothers crossed the street upon seeing him, a better person than the teen who had Killer sprayed across his locker door, more like the person Spencer always treated him as.
Toby shrugged, nonchalant though. "Yeah, I like being with kids. Big deal?"
"It's just… ." Spencer trailed off, trying to phrase her words right. "It's so great to see you so happy and to see how happy you make Bridget but… . I just, I don't know if I could ever … if we could ever-"
Toby cut off her rambling. "Spence," He moved his hands to her face, cupping it. "I know how scared you are about having kids. We already agreed we'd revisit the subject when you graduated." Spencer had decided, after the hell she had for a high school experience, to attend Hollis instead of trying for the Ivy Leagues.
Toby was the only person who knew how much anxiety she still carried with her, even after all was said and done with -A. He was the only person she could turn to in the dark hours when she was held captive to a panic attack or to the nights that she couldn't sleep and could only stare up at the ceiling, worried about every bad scenario that could possibly take place in the hours she was unconscious. He was the only person she trusted to see her like that, torn down to a mess of tears and loud sobs, muffled against his t-shirt. She needed to stay in Rosewood because she needed him and-unfortunately-his job was at the local police department.
Spencer had once confided that she had changed her stance on child. Originally she said she wanted one child. Now-even after Bridget-Spencer wasn't sure she could handle even that. She still felt out of control and in a panic so much of the time. How could she possibly handle another life, depending one hundred percent on her? Spencer loved little Bridget so much but at the end of the day, she got to hand her back to Hanna and Caleb and wish her a goodnight.
Toby tugged Spencer into his arms, drawing her head under his chin. "Spence," He breathed into her hair, trying to soothe her.
"Do you really think I'd make a good mom?" Spencer whispered, her face pressed into his shoulder.
Without missing a beat, he whispered back, "I know you'd be."
X.
After the brownies were made-exactly to Bridget's meticulous liking-Spencer and Toby joined the little girl on the couch.
"Can I have another?" Bridget asked, as the movie was nearing to an end, her little voice starting to grow sleepy.
"No, baby," Spencer shook her head softly. "You need to get ready for bed," She stated, pulling the toddler into her arms.
Spencer knew just by the fact that the little girl didn't fight her that she was getting really lethargic.
"I don't think she's going to stay awake for the bath," Toby laughed, turning the television off.
"If she accidentally drowns, you're telling Hanna and Caleb," Spencer called over her shoulder as she carried the little girl to the bathroom.
Spencer made quick work, getting her into the tub and hurrying to wash her hair before she got too relaxed. For the most part, all seemed to be going well. The toddler seemed fairly calm and content to sit still. But Spencer had done this enough times to know the signs of Bridget getting fussy and she knew the second the little girl shoved her hands away, a tantrum was coming on.
"Bridget, please," Spencer hushed as Bridget squealed, a loud, piercing sound ejecting from her mouth, her hands splashing the water around her. Spencer knew from past experience that when Bridget got like this, it was time to put her to bed. Spencer was God-Mother, not Fairy God Mother.
Quickly grabbing the cup and rinsing the baby blonde off, Spencer reached for the towel on the ground next to her and wrapped the toddler up in it. "Shhh," She hushed as the little girl buried her face into Spencer neck. "It's alright," She murmured, stepping out into the hallway, still carrying the towel clad toddler.
Toby seemed to hear the commotion and was standing outside the door. He too had had his fair share of Bratty-Bridget moments. Spencer pressed her finger to her lips as the little girl had gone from a demon to an angel in a split second and had her head resting on Spencer's neck now.
Toby nodded in understanding and headed into the bathroom to clean up whatever mess Bridget had created.
"Thank you," Spencer whispered to him, though he probably barely heard it.
Carrying Bridget into her and Toby's room, Spencer quickly helped the little girl into her night clothes and dried her hair as thoroughly as possible, being gentle as the Hanna-like child was already dead on her feet.
Finally, feeling about as tired as Bridget, Spencer tugged the little girl under the covers, tucking them around her.
She was so exhausted, she didn't even ask about Uncle Toby kissing her goodnight. "Goodnight, Baby-Bridget," Spencer whispered, kissing the little child's forehead, using Aria's popular nickname for the child who'd captured all their hearts.
Believing she was long asleep, Spencer turned for the door, heading to help Toby clean up the bathroom. But as she turned to leave, the little girl gripped Spencer's hand. "No," She whispered, her lisp even more pronounced than when she was fully awake. "Stay," She tugged on her hand.
Without needing to be asked twice, Spencer laid down next to Bridget, falling asleep almost as fast as the three year old.
X.
Spencer didn't know how long she was asleep but sometime later a hand slipped up the back of her shirt, gently rubbing circles on her back with his fingertips. "Shhh," He whispered, kissing her shoulder softly.
"Toby," She whispered, mostly for the benefit of the little girl on her other side.
She expected him to be as tired as she was but instead of lazily tucking himself into her back, he spoke quietly in her ear. "I know you think you'd be a terrible mother but I watched you tonight with Bridget. She had a tantrum and you handled it effortlessly. I wouldn't have known what to do. Emily wouldn't have known. Aria wouldn't have known-and she's been trying to get pregnant for two months. No one besides Hanna and Caleb would have known exactly how to handle it. Except for you."
"Toby," Spencer shook her head, almost rejecting the praise. "I didn't do anything other than get her out of the tub as fast as I could."
"Oh, please, Spence. If it had been me, the room would have been cover in soap and baby shampoo."
Spencer just laughed quietly, still conscious of the sleeping toddler. "I think you're just trying to make me feel better."
"Maybe," Toby admitted, shamelessly. "But it's true. I know you'd be a great mom. Every time I see you with Bridget, I can just see how wonderful you'd be. You're so kind and smart and firm and playful. And you love so unconditionally. With all of your heart."
"Guess where I picked that up from," She teased, toying with the collar of his shirt. "I love you, Toby," She whispered after a second, pressing her lips to his.
"I love you too," He whispered back, pressing another kiss to her mouth.
"We probably shouldn't do this now," Spencer whispered, breaking the third kiss. "Baby in the bed and all," She nodded towards Bridget, wrinkling her nose. "I don't think we should scar her for life."
"No, let's leave that up for her parents," Toby winked.
Before Spencer could laugh, Bridget rolled over and gripped Spencer's middle, tugging her closer.
"Guess I've been trumped," Toby snickered as Spencer rolled over to cuddle Bridget.
"Guess so."
X.
Toby groaned, waking to the loud thrashing at the front door. "Open up!" Hanna yelled, pounding harder. "Open up!"
Toby shuffled off the bed, careful not to wake up the two sleeping girls, who were completely oblivious to the ruckus at the door. "Hanna," He groaned, feeling the usual slight annoyance that came whenever Hanna was near. "Hanna, do you mind being-" Toby's-very sleep deprived-voice apparently went unheard as Hanna Marin ducked under his arm and made a beeline towards the bedroom.
Caleb, who was still standing in the doorway, chuckled. "She missed her."
Toby nodded, still not quite awake. "I can tell."
"It's just part of having a kid, man."
Toby rubbed his eyes, hoping to rub away some of the sleep. "You two make quite a team. You can't say goodbye, she can't stay away."
Caleb laughed again, patting his best friend on the shoulder. "Just wait until you have a kid."
And though he was exhausted, Toby couldn't help the grin those words brought on his face.
X.
Spencer felt her arms being roughly shoved aside, away from the little girl she was cuddling. Forcing her eyes open, she became acquainted with the sight of Hanna tugging Bridget into her arms.
The little girl didn't open her eyes even a crack and yet she burrowed further into her mother, without a doubt of who'd picked her up. "Mommy," Bridget whispered, still predominantly unconscious.
"Shhhh," Hanna whispered to her clone, tugging her baby blanket off the bed and wrapping it around her three year old's body.
Spencer sat up now, observing the two of them. She'd seen them practically every day since Bridget had been born and yet, at this very moment, Spencer couldn't look away, completely fascinated by the interaction.
Bridget's eyes were still completely shut. And yet, somehow, she knew exactly who was holding her. Or better, she knew it was her mother holding her. She recognized the feeling of Hanna's arms, like no other.
Had Spencer had that bond with Veronica? Wracking her brain frantically, she realized she had. Whenever she was hurt or sick or afraid, that was exactly who she wanted, always. There was a security in your mother's arms, an unexplainable feeling of love and compassion and safety that no one else's arms could exactly supply.
Spencer had seen Hanna hold Bridget next to every day for the past three years and yet she'd never felt this. This feeling of almost jealousy, of sadness, like Hanna had something that she craved but not exactly what she wanted.
"Did you have a good time with Aunt Spencey and Uncle Toby?" Hanna asked after a moment of snuggling her daughter.
"The best time!" Bridget beamed, clapping her hands together.
Her words made Spencer want to clap her hands together and grin too. It pleased her greatly to know the little blonde enjoyed spending time with her, that Bridget thought she was sufficient enough to take care of her.
"Say goodbye to Aunt Spencey," Hanna instructed gently, handing Bridget to Spencer, who'd moved to the edge of the bed.
"Goodbye!" Bridget exclaimed loudly, planting a wet kiss on Spencer's cheek. "I love you."
Spencer couldn't control her beaming smile now. "I love you too, Baby Bridget."
Out of the corner of her eye, Spencer saw her best friend smirk.
"Ready yet?" Hanna mouthed.
X.
Later that night, after they had gotten resettled into bed, Spencer turned on her side, facing Toby. "Did you really mean what you said?"
They hadn't exactly been silent but they weren't been keeping up a conversation either. This question certainly seemed out of the blue. But somehow Toby knew the exact conversation she was referring to, without even needing clarification. "Of course I did, Spence. You'd be a great mom. I have no doubt in my mind."
Spencer shivered, though she wasn't cold. "You don't think-you don't think I'd screw them up? Make them hate me? Make them resent me?"
Toby's expression softened at her words. "Come here," He whispered, opening his arms for her to crawl into. "Spence, I promise you, you'd make an excellent mom. You work so hard for the people you love. Just looking at you with Bridget, you have this natural nurturing instinct, I swear." He rubbed her back gently.
Spencer picked at a loose thread in his t-shirt, feeling tears building up. "What if I'm not ready?"
"There's no rush, sweetheart. Whenever, if ever, it would be when you and I were both prepared."
"But I don't want to slow you down," Spencer whispered. "And… I don't want to let you down. What if I'm a terrible mother-"
"Spence, you wouldn't be. You have such a big heart," Toby promised, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "And you wouldn't be alone. I'd be there with you, always. This is a two person job."
"… . I don't know," Spencer said after a minute, still feeling inadequate, despite her husband's words. "I'm such a mess as it is. How could I…" She trailed off.
"I'm not pressuring you, sweetheart. But you don't have to worry about that. I know you're terrified you'll fail and be the world's worst parent and make your kid feel the way you felt but I'm promising you, that won't happen. Your child will never feel like you did. You would never allow that to happen and we both know it. You're not a mess, you're human. You make others smile, you take care of the people you love, you're protective and you're an incredible person. You don't have to be afraid, baby."
Spencer fell silent after that, hugging herself closer to Toby, keeping her arm wrapped around his middle. "Toby," She whispered after a few minutes.
"Yeah?"
"Thank you. For always believing in me."
He squeezed her tighter to his chest. "Always."
