Chapter Seven: Haddock Hiccup

Merida arrived at the camp with Iris hiding in the back of her father's armor as Angus walked behind her.

"Okay, this is it." Iris whispered into Merida' ear. "Time to show them your manliness. Shoulders back, chest high, feet apart, and strut!"

Merida awkwardly walked into the camp tying to remember everything. She hoped this would work. She had come too far to back away. Merida ignored the look of curiosity on their faces as she guessed she looked slightly odd. While walking, Merida passed a group of the less fit recruits as one picked his nose and grinned with half of his teeth missing.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" Iris asked.

"They're disgusting." Merida whispered as one man picked imbetween his toes with a pair of chop sticks.

"No, they're men." Iris corrected. "And you're gonna have to act just like them, so pay attention."

They then ran into three men. One man had short black hair as he flex his muscles while the other two looked. One man had long blond hair that goes to his legs. The other man had short blond hair down under his helmet as he also possessed bright green eyes.

The short black haired man mused about this before punching the man in the stomach, knocking him down.

"I hope you can get your money back!" The black haired man called out.

"I don't think I can do this." Merida groaned.

"It's all attitude!" Iris said positively. "Be tough like the guy with the short black hair."

The short black haired man spat on the ground before looking at Merida.

"What are you looking at?" The black haired man asked.

"Punch him." Iris whispered to Merida. "It's how men say hello."

Merida punched the black haired man in the back of the head, and he landed on top of a large chubby boy with short blonde hair, in a Viking helmet.

"So Snotloud, you made a new friend?" The boy squeaked as he got up.

"Good." Iris continued. "Now slap him on the behind. They like that."

Merida slapped Snotloud's rear as he exclaimed and grabbed Merida by the neckline of her armor.

"I'm gonna punch you so hard, it'll make your ancestors dizzy!" Snotloud called out before the boy got between them.

"Snotloud, relax." The chubby boy said. "Just count to ten."

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven… Eight… Nine… Ten." Snotloud said as he sighed and let go of Merida.

"Feel better?" Fishlegs asked.

"Yeah Fishlegs." Snotloud said. "Besides, this chicken boy isn't worth my time."

"Chicken boy?" Iris called out from her hiding place. "Say that to my face you limp noodle!"

Snotloud grabbed Merida and prepared to punch her when Merida ducked, and Snotloud ended up punching another blonde haired man, knocking out a few teeth.

"Oh…" Snotloud said nervously. "Sorry Tuffnut.

Merida crawled off as she watched Tuffnut kick Snotloud into Fishlegs, and all three of them got into a big fight.

"Guys, wait!" Fishlegs called out.

"Look, there he goes!" Snotloud said as he pointed at Merida.

Oh come on! Merida groaned inwardly as she ran for it.

Merida hid in a tent filled with poultry as the three boys rushed right through. Snotloud and Tuffnut barely managed to stop short of a rice line before Fishlegs accidentally slammed into them, knocking the whole line over and spilling the huge pot of rice.

"Uh-oh." Merida whimpered as all the rice covered soldiers walked towards her. "Uh… So guys, what's happening?"

()()()()()

Inside the tent of General Haddock Stoick, Hiccup watched a map with red and blue flags showing the territories Alvin's men had captured while Emperor Johann's consult Drew watched.

"The Huns have struck here and here." Stoick said, pointing at the map's mountain images. "I will take the main troops up to the Tung Shao pass and stop Alvin before he destroys the accompanying village."

"Excellent strategy General." Drew said in an oily manner. "I do love surprises."

"Son," Stoick said as if he didn't hear Drew. "You will stay here and train the new recruits. When Drew believes you're ready, you will join us… Captain."

Stoick smiled as he handed a long straight sword to Hiccup as he gaped.

"Captain?" Hiccup asked in awe. He'd only been in the army for a few years, and he was amazed that his father entrusted him with such a rank.

"This is an enormous responsibility, General." Drew said proudly. "We should use a soldier with more experience."

"Hiccup was number one in his class." Stoick said dismissively. "He has an extensive knowledge of training techniques, and his military lineage doesn't hurt either. I believe Haddock Hiccup will do an excellent job."

"Oh, I will!" Hiccup said excitedly. "I won't let you down! This is… Well…"

Hiccup swallowed quickly. He was twenty. He wasn't a small boy playing with wooden swords anymore.

"I mean, yes sir." Hiccup said somberly.

"Very well then." Stoick said confidently. "We'll toast China's victory together at the Imperial City. Also Drew, I expect a full report in three weeks."

"And I won't leave anything out, boy." Drew said moodily as he followed Stoick out of the tent.

As Drew left, Hiccup looked at his new sword.

"Captain Haddock Hiccup." Hiccup said, liking how the title sounded. "Leader of China's finest troops. Oh no! The greatest troops of all time!"

Hiccup chuckled at the idea. He exited the tent to find all the men fighting with rice all over the floor.

"Oh… Boy." Hiccup groaned as a soldier walked over to them, saluted, and passed out.

"Most impressive." Drew scoffed sarcastically.

"Good luck, Captain!" Stoick said unfazed and got onto his horse before riding off.

"Good luck… Dad." Hiccup said as the man who had raised him from boyhood rode off into the horizon, followed by his troops, in perfect order.

"Day 1." Drew commentated with a smirk.

Drew walked up.

"SOLDIERS!" Drew called out, and everyone stopped fighting and stood at attention, except for a man about Drew's age in green lined armor.

"HE STARTED IT!" All the soldiers called out.

()()()()()

Merida was curled into a ball, reluctant to move when she noticed a shadow come on her, and she looked up at a man about her age with short brown hair with a few small breads, forest eyes, brown armor, and a dark brown helmet in his arms. He was also a good foot taller than her.

"I don't need anyone causing trouble in my camp." The man said sternly.

"Sorry." Isis said before remembering she had to be a boy and lowering her voice as far as it could go. "I mean uh… Sorry you had to see that, but you know how it is. You get those uh… Manly urges and you've just got to kill something… Or fix things… Cook outdoors…"

"What's your name?" Hiccup said, unfazed.

"My name?" Merida said nervously. "Uh… I uh…

"Your commanding officer just asked you a question!" An young man in a blue robe snapped.

"Well don't worry." Merida said quickly. "I've got a name, and it's a boy's name too."

"Snotloud!" Iris whispered from her hiding place. "How 'bout Snotloud?"

"His name is Snotloud." Merida muttered, but Hiccup heard her.

"I didn't ask for his name!" Hiccup snapped. "I asked for yours!"

"Try Uh… Chew!" Iris said quickly.

"Uh Chew!" Merida said, so nervous she couldn't think.

"Uh Chew?" Hiccup asked skeptically.

"Gazuntite." Iris said. "Oh man, I kill myself."

"Iris!" Merida whispered angrily.

"Iris?" Hiccup asked again.

"No!" Merida said.

"Then what is it?" Hiccup called out.

"Gustav!" Iris said triumphantly. "Gustav was my best friend growing up!"

"It's Gustav." Merida said calmly.

"Gustav?" Hiccup asked, and Merida knew Hiccup found the name odd.

"Well now that I think of it, Gustav did steal my-" Iris began before Merida pout a hand on the back of her neck where Iris was to shut her up.

"Yes." Merida said. "My name is Gustav."

"Let me see your conscription notice." Hiccup said, and Merida quickly gave it to him.

Hiccup opened it and his eyes widened.

"Dun'Broch Fergus?" Hiccup asked. "The Dun'Broch Fergus?"

"I didn't know Dun'Broch Fergus had a son." Drew mused.

"Well he… Doesn't like to talk to me very much." Merida said as she tried to spit on the ground like Soutloud had done, but she just got a line of drool on her lip. "Ei."

"I can see why." Drew said offhandedly. "The boy's an absolute lunatic."

Everyone chuckled until Hiccup gave Merida back her notice.

"Alright everyone!" Hiccup called out. "Thanks to your new friend, Gustav, you'll spend tonight picking up every single grain of rice, and then tomorrow, the real work begins."

Hiccup left as Snotloud and Tuffnut growled angrily at Merida as Fishlegs just groaned.

"You know," Iris said. "We're gonna have to work on your people skills."

"You think?" Merida groaned. She hadn't been a soldier for more than five minutes, and she was already the troublemaker… Again.


Chaos dose not own Mulan, Brave or HTTYD but she owns Iris, Hikari belongs to WingBladeWeaver1357, and Drew belongs to RedDiEnd.