Author's note: I wanted to say a quick thanks to those sticking with me! Also, I appreciate you anonymous reviewers. I like to reply to all my reviews, but since I can't let you guys know personally how much I appreciate you, know that I do and please continue!
Also, if I was one to name a song as a theme for a chapter, this one would have to be 'We Suck Young Blood' by Radiohead, for Jane's creeptasticness while the guard is on mission. It's certainly an unsettling bit of music by an awesome band.
Please note that this chapter does contain some dark and mature themes that are not appropriate for sensitive readers.
When Demetri's lips touched Edward's, the shocking reality of it caused him to remain unresponsive for a few seconds. However, once Demetri's tongue swiped Edward's lower lip, sweetly requesting entrance to his mouth, the pleasant warmth that had spread throughout Edward's body ignited into a conflagration, wholly incinerating his qualms.
Edward's hands reached out to clasp Demetri's hips of their own accord, pulling them flush with his own as the kiss deepened into a whirlwind of needy lips and tongues.
Demetri's hands wandered from Edward's face down his chest, resting momentarily over his pectorals before clasping the front of his shirt. He turned Edward slightly and pressed him against the closest bookcase, bringing his body impossibly closer. Edward hummed in delight as he could feel every inch of Demetri's torso deliciously matched against his.
Edward roughly attempted to pull Demetri closer as their mouths still remained molded together. Demetri's mouth was firm and unyielding, his body strong and unbreakable. Edward thought of the scalding heat he had experienced when kissing Bella, and reveled in the temperate warmth of Demetri. He wanted to feel more of him.
The shirt that Demetri wore was tucked neatly into his trousers, and Edward hurriedly pulled it out, his hands going underneath so that he could feel a bit of Demetri's unclothed skin. Still, it was not enough, and Edward dug his fingers viciously into the flesh of Demetri's back, dragging his hands downward.
Demetri moaned loudly, grinding his hips into Edward's. Their arousals brushed against one other, and Edward's eyes clenched tightly closed and his head fell back at the exquisite satisfaction of it. Demetri took the opportunity to place hot, open-mouthed kisses hungrily down Edward's throat.
Once their lips were no longer joined, it was like Edward was jolted back to reality, and reminded of their precarious position. He had come here to stop this. This could not happen. He'd already let things get ridiculously far.
Edward had almost found the willingness to speak when he heard someone loudly clearing their throat. He abruptly pushed Demetri away, looking down in embarrassment.
"What's going on here?" Felix guffawed. Edward was awkwardly trying to gain control of his body and straighten his clothing.
"Nothing," Edward stated, knowing that if he could blush, his face would be bright red. Demetri looked slightly hurt, appearing as though he was ready to retort, but kept quiet.
"It sure didn't look like nothing," Felix said, walking over to Demetri and elbowing him in the ribs. Demetri shoved him off, scowling. Edward tried to shrink away, curling into himself as tightly as possible.
Edward looked at Demetri briefly, the want in his eyes and thoughts so consuming that Edward swiftly looked away again.
"Did you need something, Felix?" Demetri asked, the irritation in his voice causing it to rise.
"Evidently nothing as important as what you needed," Felix chuckled, wagging his eyebrows at Edward. Edward turned away, hoping that Felix would not notice the excitement that had manifested itself in his trousers.
"Back off," Demetri said to Felix, his impatience growing.
"Hey, now, if you weren't such an exhibitionist you would've taken your heavy petting to a more suitable location," Felix replied, smirking jovially.
Edward felt like he was burning alive. "Felix," Edward started.
"Don't worry, I'm not a gossip," Felix stated, cutting Edward off.
"Now, did you come here with a purpose, or are you simply filling the role of resident peeping tom?" Demetri asked again.
"Let's see, what was it? Oh, yes, Aro requested to see us, apparently there are some things that need handling in London," Felix finally relayed.
"Ok, Felix, go on and tell Aro we'll be there in a few moments," Demetri said. Edward had sat down in one of the chairs, hiding his face between his knees.
"Sure thing, Demetri. Is he okay?" Felix asked, pointing towards Edward.
"That remains to be seen," Demetri replied, pushing Felix away as the large vampire was not leaving fast enough.
Once Felix had left the library, and Demetri and Edward were alone, Demetri approached Edward slowly, kneeling down so that he was on the same level as him. He placed a concerned palm on Edward's shoulder, but Edward shrugged it off, keeping his face firmly between his knees.
"E?" Demetri said, his voice full of worry.
"I don't wish to speak of it," Edward said before he could be prodded by Demetri's interrogations.
"E, I feel like we should honestly talk about what j—"
"No, Demetri," Edward looked at him. His face was so understanding and caring; Edward loathed the thought of speaking. Demetri had laid himself bare in front of Edward, confessing something that Edward was sure had been difficult. Somewhere over the last few weeks, this man had become dear to him, and any torment Demetri suffered should not be at Edward's hand. This, however, could not be helped. "That—what just happened- was a mistake. I-I came here simply wanting to speak to you as a friend. I love Bella. You said you would have any part of my heart that was left, but the truth of it is, there is nothing left. My heart was irreparably shattered into uncountable, miniscule pieces, and the parts strewn about. I've nothing left. Obviously, I cannot tell you that you have no affect on me physically. That, I am certainly confused over, but I simply c—"
"You are a liar. You're afraid. I can tell you're not simply about the physical; your desire comes from somewhere else. Please, E, just consider a few things. Living—and living well- is so simple, but you can't get over yourself far enough to see it! You hold onto these things that are unchangeable as though your life depended on them…and they do, E, just not the way you see it. If you continue this way you will die, but it won't be the nice, balmy blackness you crave, E. Your body will still be here, but your mind will be in that place where there are nothing but regrets, and believe me, in that place you can hate yourself as much as you want!" Demetri shouted. Edward glanced up briefly and saw that Demetri had risen to his feet and was pacing back and forth like a caged animal.
Demetri noticed Edward staring. Edward tried to cover his face once more, but Demetri was in front of him in two long strides, pulling Edward by his shoulders and up to his feet. Edward felt ashamed and weak; he could not look in Demetri's eyes.
"Look at me," Demetri said, his tone the exact opposite of what it had been moments before. Edward simply looked over Demetri's left shoulder. "E, I am begging you...please look at me." Demetri gently shook Edward where his hands grasped his shoulders. Edward's eyes widened and he was finally able to meet Demetri's desperate stare. Edward, once again, was softened by Demetri's nearly topaz eyes, and started feeling guilty for a whole new set of reasons. He started to look away, but Demetri shook him again. Demetri removed his hands from Edward's shoulders and onto either side of his face, holding it firmly in place.
"E, I have come to care for you deeply," Demetri whispered. "I cannot bear to continue watching you do this. Leave it."
"I c—"
"Don't say you can't. Because you can. I knowyou can. I won't continue to watch as you let yourself spiral downward. You've let it go on long enough. Those that care for you no longer wish to see you suffering, that includes your Bella," Demetri said, as he hands travelled through Edward's mess of bronze hair, attempted to smooth it down for him. The gesture was very affectionate, and Edward wanted to lean into Demetri's hands once more. "If there was a way I could return her to you I would, E. I would let you go to her with joy in my heart, if she was what made you happy. But…there is no way to bring back the dead. You know that as well as I."
Would I want Bella if she were still alive? Edward thought. He swiftly decided that, of course, he would…but did he not desire Demetri? Demetri was quite correct when he stated that Edward was definitely not one to be swayed by the physical, but he had been relying on that as an excuse for his body's reaction to Demetri. Edward was drawn to more than Demetri's physicality, but would he be able to accept that?
As for everything else Demetri said, Edward knew it to be true, but his thoughts were so overloaded that he could scarcely begin contemplating it all. Demetri continued his soft touches through Edward's hair and on his face, looking at Edward expectantly.
"Right now, I don't have anything to say," Edward stated lamely.
"I understand, E, but please think over these things. I won't press you right now. We have a job to do regardless." Demetri's fingers paused on Edward's face. "I would very much like to kiss you again, but I'll refrain." He chuckled lightly, swiping his thumb over Edward's lower lip. Edward wanted to run his tongue across Demetri's digit and taste him once more, but somehow withheld and finally broke eye contact.
Demetri nodded and began tucking his shirt back in. He gestured towards the way out of the library saying, "After you."
The two men walked in an awkward silence to the circular throne room where they would find Aro. Edward's confusion was replaced with trepidation the closer they got to approaching their destination. He knew that 'some things that need handling in London' would not translate into something as simple as his first and only mission.
Aro greeted them brightly upon their entrance to the room. "Demetri! Edward! So lovely of you to join us. I am simply joyous to see the two of you making friends!" Aro stated, looking pointedly at Edward. Edward scowled at Felix who merely shrugged his shoulders, smirking.
I couldn't help it…he reads minds, Felix thought.
"Well, now that we're all here," Aro paused gesturing to the members of the guard stationed around the room, "I'll begin going over what needs to be done. I require Felix, Jane, Chelsea, Edward, and Demetri to travel to London, England."
"Your mission, should you choose to accept it…" Felix whispered and started humming the Mission Impossible theme song. Aro flashed him a warning look. "What? Edward's American! He gets that!"
"As I was saying...It appears as though we have a problem with either a newborn, or an extremely unstable vampire…perhaps both. There have been several murders reported, each body drained of blood and the fingers removed. Some of the bodies have had certain shapes carved into the skin with a sharp object. It's all rather messy," Aro said, the corners of his mouth turned down as though he would be disgusted by such things. Edward felt a bit sick. This was what he had been dreading over the past several weeks.
"We have the jet prepared and ready, you five will need to leave immediately. This needs to be taken care of as soon as possible. Ready your things for the airport. You have fifteen minutes to leave. Have fun and be careful everyone!" Aro finished, dismissing them with a wave. Edward let out a large breath and started to exit the room.
"Edward," Aro called. "May I speak with you for a moment?" Edward wanted to groan. He looked at Demetri briefly as he was leaving, Demetri looking at him apologetically.
"Yes, of course, Aro," he replied flatly. Aro rushed over to where Edward stood.
"I am going to need your full attention on this mission, dear boy. No holding back. I want to make sure you're aware, any information you withhold, I will know about," Aro stated gesturing to his head. The implication was clear to Edward. "I know this is going to be difficult, young man, but we must do our job! We mustn't leave any loose ends lying about, and your ability is essential to that."
"I understand," Edward replied, taking a few steps back from the ancient vampire.
"Good, good, Edward. I am delighted to have your full attention on this," he said, smiling warmly. "By the way, please don't allow personal matters to get in the way of your work here; it's simply a good rule." Aro raised his eyebrows and nodded, agreeing with himself. Edward gave Aro a tight-lipped smile, and returned the nod.
"Good day, Aro," Edward said, and exited the room. He found Chelsea waiting for him outside.
"Hello, Edward," she said meekly. Edward tried to smile at her. "It will all be okay. I promise." The expression on her face was honest. She slipped her arm around Edward's waist.
"I certainly hope so, Chelsea."
"Walk me to my room?"
"Sure, but don't take forever. I need to gather a few things myself," Edward replied.
"I would never," she said in mock indignation. Edward chuckled softly as the pair began walking.
"Edward?"
"Yes?" Edward asked, looking at Chelsea, his fondness for her etched on his features.
"Whenever you need to talk…" she left off.
"I know. Thank you," Edward finished.
They reached Chelsea's room where she quickly packed a few belongings, and then they headed to Edward's quarters. Demetri was leaving his room as Edward and Chelsea approached.
"Do you mind if I walk with you two to the cars?" Demetri asked, looking at Edward. Edward looked at Chelsea and then back to Demetri.
"I don't mind," Chelsea said, and Edward nodded in agreement.
He left Chelsea and Demetri in the hallway, hurriedly packed a few things, and made his way back out. Edward knew they would talk about him, and was proven correct as he picked up on Chelsea's thoughts easily. She had not yet learned how to keep him blocked. Edward was thankful he was exceptionally quick, and the pair didn't have much of a chance to speak.
Chelsea took Edward's arm, and Demetri stood on his other side. The three began strolling to the parking garage, and every few strides, Demetri's hand brushed against the back of Edward's. Edward had the suspicion this was intentional, but did not stop him. Every time Demetri's skin made contact with Edward's tiny bursts of affection coursed through him, and he found it comforting.
Edward had much to think about.
The trio found Felix and Jane already waiting for them in the parking garage. Demetri quickly announced that he would be driving, and Felix immediately called shotgun. They would be taking one of the larger SUVs to the airport in order to accommodate all five vampires and their bags.
Edward slid into the middle bench, and Chelsea sat beside him. Jane took her position alone in the back. Once they were all settled, Demetri started the car beginning their journey to the airport. A few moments of silence passed, until Felix started searching through the radio stations. Jane took the broken silence as an opportunity to speak to Edward.
"I am simply elated that we have the chance to work together, Edward. I've been looking forward to it for weeks," she said sardonically, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the back of the bench that Edward and Chelsea sat on. Her attempt at conversation was dripping hostility, and Edward was unsure of how to respond. He saw in the rearview mirror that Demetri was staring at him.
Be careful what you say. Jane is…not quite right, Demetri thought, maintaining eye contact with Edward. The silent exchange did not get past Jane.
"What are you telling him, Demetri?" she asked snappishly. Chelsea shifted in discomfort, and Felix rolled his eyes.
"Letting him know how wonderful you are, and how he should speak freely with you, angel!" Demetri replied buoyantly, turning his face to the left so that Jane could see his bright smile.
"Could you not have simply said that aloud?" she said, crossing his arms petulantly.
"I didn't want to embarrass you, dear heart. I know how unwilling you are to accept flattery," Demetri said. He returned his full attention to the road after one last fleeting glance at Edward.
"I do not mind a smidge of flattery every now and again," Jane muttered to herself, leaning back onto her seat.
Edward picked up with ease that Jane had a soft spot for Demetri, and he was disturbed by that, to say the least. Edward cringed at Jane's inner musings and tried unsuccessfully to block her out. Demetri was being polite when he thought she was 'not quite right'.
The rest of the drive to the airport was spent in relative quiet, the only noise coming from the radio, which Felix had left on a station that was playing popular American hits from the nineteen seventies. Edward didn't think he could stand another moment of the Rolling Stones, Genesis, or KC and the Sunshine Band; he was about to complain about said music when they finally arrived.
Edward's relief was short-lived, however, because when the five vampires boarded the jet, Felix plopped down right next to him, and the music that had irritated him on the radio was now echoed—and off-key- in Felix's thoughts. Edward laughed quietly and turned towards Felix.
"Would you mind changing the station?" Edward asked.
"Sure. Would you prefer…something like…this?" Felix began reliving Edward's embarrassment. Through Felix's thoughts he could clearly see himself, clawing at Demetri's back like a cat on a scratching post and devouring his mouth. Edward had not realized how much Felix had witnessed.
"Why wouldn't you have interrupted sooner?" Edward whispered, angry in his discomfort.
"Demetri is a good buddy. He's usually a very private person. I knew that it would have to be some kind of big deal for him to let you attack him out in the open like that," Felix said, leaning in so that he could speak to Edward in a low voice. It had looked like Edward was attacking Demetri. Any outsider would have assumed he had been the instigator. Edward hands twitched nervously on his knees.
Felix leaned in a bit closer to Edward and motioned with his finger for Edward to move in closer still. Edward obliged and Felix thought, If you fuck with Demetri's mind, I swear you will regret it. He's the only family I can remember, and you will keep his feelings in mind. Felix backed away from Edward before speaking, "That being said…" Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight! Whoo, baby! Felix commenced singing in his mind once more.
Edward thoroughly believed Demetri when he'd said Felix was temperamental.
The flight to London took a little more than an hour. Edward kept his eyes glued to his armrest the entire time. He couldn't hush the voices in his mind: Felix singing, Jane thinking of the impending slaughter, Chelsea concerned for him, Demetri contemplating Aristotle on Rhetoric. Edward couldn't help smiling over the last; Demetri's quirks that had annoyed him so in the past were only now serving to endear him to the younger vampire.
They arrived at their destination in the middle of the night, and checked into their hotel without event. As a group they decided to get to work straight away, and resolve the problem as soon as possible. They congregated in Jane's room to discuss their strategy.
"The first thing to do would be to visit the most recent crime scene," Demetri started. "I should be able to figure out from there how many people are involved and find their locations. The most recent murder was committed early today, so we may be able to pick up on some scents, as well." Chelsea and Edward nodded in somber agreement; Felix smirked in anticipation, while Jane appeared gleeful in a way that made her sadism apparent.
"Since you're new at this, E, the main thing you need to keep in mind is anonymity," Demetri said looking at Edward. Please, be safe, and do everything you can to finish this. This will not be easy for you…try not to make Jane upset. She can be volatile, he thought. "We don't have any particular method. Simply remain hidden, finish things quietly."
"This will be easy," Jane commented. The unease that had been festering in Edward's gut began to rot, and he feared what would come before the night was through.
"I hope you're right," Edward replied.
The five vampires made their way silently to the scene of the most recent murder. It was a narrow alleyway outside of a pub on the outskirts of London. There was still brightly colored police tape blocking the scene, and it seemed oddly garish in the glowering darkness.
Edward watched Demetri as he traced his fingertips across the rough brick walls of the alleyway. He closed his eyes inhaling deeply, holding impossibly still for several moments. Everything was eerily silent, the normal sounds of the evening drowned out by the brutality that had taken place less than twenty-four hours prior.
"There were two of them here," Demetri started. "One of them was not responsible for the messy kill. Does that make sense?" Demetri opened his eyes, looking around at the group. Felix shrugged.
"Maybe trying to hide it? Clean it up?" Chelsea suggested.
"That seems plausible," Jane commented. "Can you find them?"
"Yes, of course. Hmmmm, the closest one is about twenty kilometers from here. Not too horribly far. Should we go ahead?" Demetri asked of Jane.
"I see no reason not to. Does everyone approve?" she asked. Everyone knew it was rhetorical. If Jane wanted to go, then they would all go.
After the facts Demetri uncovered, things began to move rather quickly.
Within half an hour, Demetri had tracked one of the vampires to an isolated flat on the outskirts of London. Edward found it odd, as did the rest of the guard, that the vampire would have a permanent home. Most of their kind were nomadic, and wandered about feeding from different areas as to not draw attention to themselves.
Once they were within a few miles of their destination, Edward began scouring the minds in the area.
Edward was uneasy, undoubtedly worried about the oncoming altercation, and –if he would admit it to himself- concerned for Demetri. He knew that Demetri had been doing this for centuries, but he could not help but feel some anxiety for his well-being.
…..have to find some way to get her under control… Edward heard the frantic thoughts clearly. We have to leave this place….drawing too much attention. How could this have happened?
"I hear someone," Edward whispered. They were still about a mile from their destination. "They are thinking about trying to leave the city and trying to get someone under control."
"We'll have to approach the flat, block the exit, and subdue the vampire. We're also going to have to try to get some answers about what has been going on. Edward," Demetri gave him a pleading look, "we definitely need you working hard on this. Edward, Jane, and Felix go inside. Chelsea and I will guard the door." They all nodded and continued forward.
The closer they approached the more perplexed Edward became. He was picking up on more thoughts coming from the same flat, and could smell a vampire and humans.
I smell humans, Demetri and Jane thought at almost the exact same moment. The tone of their inner thoughts was much different, however.
Edward was unsure he could do what was required of him. If he wasn't absolutely certain it was impossible, he would've felt as though he were on the verge of losing consciousness. He knew he had to do this for his family, but Edward was terrified that the monster he had kept restrained for so long would spring free once it saw brutality.
Jane had stopped within a few hundred feet of the flat. "Edward, do the humans know about us? About vampires?" she asked. The others had stopped as well, waiting to see what had changed now that there were humans involved. Edward crossed his arms over his chest and looked away from Jane.
"No," Edward lied.
"Are you sure, Edward?" Jane prodded, narrowing her eyes. "Aro would be upset if he found out you kept any pertinent information to yourself."
Demetri took a step towards Edward and thought, Please, E, you've no idea what she's capable of.
Edward shuffled his feet a few more moments. It's my family or those people in there, he thought before admitting, "I'm not sure the exact situation, but it does seem as though they are aware that the one with them is a vampire. We would have to ask some questions of them to find the entire situation."
"Ah, I love interrogations!" Jane admitted excitedly. Edward started trying to think of anything other than what was about to happen.
At his very core, he thought he was a selfish bastard, and he wanted his family safe, and at some point, he had decided he wanted to live.
The vampires continued forward silently towards their destination. This will be over soon, Edward, Chelsea thought, grasping Edward's hand and squeezing it briefly. It did not serve as any comfort.
They finally entered the home, and each step Edward took brought him misery. The flat was welcoming and bright. The furniture was well-worn by frequent visitors, and children's toys littered the carpet. Each way Edward looked he encountered countless snapshots and family portraits. Every picture featured a subject with a shining smile, the family content in each other. Most of the depictions featured a little boy, no more than eight years old in the most recent photographs, revealing an expression of absolute trust, love, and adoration for the picture taker.
Edward was once part of a family of three, feeling the same adulation that this little boy had, in a life that seemed so foreign now he could scarcely recognize it as his own.
As planned, Demetri and Chelsea stayed by the door, while Felix, Jane, and Edward entered the main room. The foyer was visible from the living room, so Chelsea and Demetri were left with a clear view of what was going on.
Jane wasted no time in torturing the vampire into submission, and the humans needed no persuading, as Felix simply stood by them serving as intimidation. The little boy had been sleeping soundly, his dreams filled with colorful visions of sunshine and immaculately white clouds, but the excruciating pain that the vampire experienced at Jane's hand caused him to scream, waking the child. He immediately ran to his parents who tried to comfort him as best as they possibly could. Edward was nearly forced to his knees by the pitiful cries of the child, and the pure fear that consumed his young thoughts.
"Are you responsible for the murders in London?" Jane asked, bringing the vampire's face within inches of her own.
"Yes, yes it was all me," he readily agreed. Edward knew he was lying.
"Edward, is he telling me the truth?" she asked perceptively. He hesitated and wanted to lie, but knew he could not.
"No," came the whispered reply. Edward cringed and turned his head. The screams started anew, and Jane repeated the question, this time with better results. His thoughts went to a young female vampire with glowing red eyes and flowing black hair. The story that followed in the vampire's thoughts made Edward's dead heard sink to his feet.
"It's a newborn. He created her. He fell in love with her when she was human. The change addled her mind somehow, and now she's completely insane and out of control. These humans are her family. Her sister, brother-in-law, and nephew. None of them know where she is right now."
Is that how it would have ended with Bella? Insanity and countless mutilated bodies?
"That does not matter," Jane said portentously. "Demetri knows."
Edward knew what would follow after Jane had the information she needed.
The happy family from the photographs sat before him trembling in fear, and Edward balked at the knowledge that it was he who allowed this to happen. It was he that provided the information Jane needed, because Edward felt he was more self-interested than compassionate.
"Jane, the child is too young to be aware…."
"Be quiet, Edward. You know we can't afford to make exceptions." She looked at Edward conspiratorially and whispered, "Besides, you've never tasted anything as wonderful as a child. The younger the better." Jane quirked an eyebrow, a cherubic smile contradicting the lunacy of her eyes. Edward heard the resigned thoughts from the other three vampires in the room and realized just how twisted Jane actually was. The way she behaved was actually commonplace, and no one was shocked at Jane's actions.
E, maybe you should go outside. You've done your job, we'll finish in here, Demetri thought.
Edward had never felt more disgusted in his existence. The vicious notions that ran through Jane's mind of just how leisurely and horrendously she wanted to kill those humans caused Edward's perspective to shift, and he knew the least he could do would be to make sure they did not suffer. He knew that none of these vampires could match his speed, and steeling himself for the guilt that was sure to follow, he swiftly approached the three humans, cracking each of their necks with an audible snap. Not that it mattered due to the speed at which he acted, but he took the little boy first, abruptly ending his fear. His last thoughts echoed in Edward's head like a macabre record stuck on repeat, Please don't let them hurt my mum.
Before Edward had even a moment to recover he heard Demetri shout, "NO!" as Jane turned her tremendous power on him in vicious anger. Edward fell to the floor with a ground trembling thud, and began writhing in life-altering pain. The fire coursed through Edward's dried up veins, igniting them into a hellish blaze, causing each second to tick by as eons. All he could hear, see, think, or remember was pain. His life was forfeit; he had never lived and would never die, because he was pain in its purest, most simplistic form.
As abruptly as it started the agony ended. Demetri was struggling against Felix who was restraining him. Chelsea had taken over restraining the male vampire, and had her eyes clenched tightly and her head turned away from Edward.
"Let me go, Felix," Demetri pleaded. "I won't touch her…I need to go to him." Felix nodded and released him, worried that his friend would attempt to attack Jane. Demetri promptly rushed to Edward, helping him into a sitting position.
"E? Can you hear me?" Demetri questioned, trying to get Edward to make eye contact with him.
"Why does it matter to you, Demetri?" Jane spat out.
"Because it's important to me that he is well," he snapped back. "As though I have to tell you anything."
Edward fell back onto the floor, once more thrust into torture. Edward screamed and clawed at his body, trying to find some kind of release. His flesh felt as though it was being flayed from his bones. This time Felix intervened within a matter of seconds, picking Jane up and shaking her thoroughly. The fire ceased for Edward again, and he hoped that was the last of it.
Edward got to his feet with Demetri's help, although he did not need it entirely. His body was already mostly recovered, although the memory of the pain was still starkly fresh.
"Jane," Felix started. "You can't simply go around fucking people up when you get mad. We are telling Aro about this." Chelsea nodded firmly in agreement, still maintaining her hold on the rogue vampire.
"No," Edward said. Four sets of eyes turned to look at him incredulously. "I deserved it. It's… fine. "
"You did deserve it! You ruined my meal and my fun," Jane exclaimed, her lower lip in a pout.
"We're not here for your fun or for you to feed! We have a job to do, and Edward took care of more than his fair share," Demetri countered, his voice shaking in anger. I can't tell you how sorry I am, E. I did not want you to have to do that. I can see already you're letting this get the best of you…don't let it, please…don't let it.
Edward looked at Demetri and answered his thoughts. "It's fine. I deserved it," Edward repeated. Demetri looked defeated, realizing Edward had already begun his self-deprecation. Their eyes met briefly before Demetri shook his head and began speaking.
"We have a job to finish. The female is in Epping Forest. That isn't far from here. Let's bring the male with us in case we need him to find the female, and we'll burn the house with the bodies inside," Demetri ordered tersely.
Upon hearing the word 'bodies' Edward was pushed back into the reality of what he had done. Demetri had asked him not to let it get the best of him, but he had just murdered innocent people. Never, even when he left Carlisle to gorge himself on human blood, had he taken the life of someone who was completely blameless. He had just murdered a child; a little boy who still had beautiful dreams, and who saw the world as a place of endless possibilities. He not only took his life, but took away the possibilities that that child's life represented, snuffing out everything that child could have become. But if he hadn't done it then Jane would have shown him a new realm of fear that he couldn't have comprehended previously.
"Come on, Edward," Chelsea said gently while entwining her fingers with his. She guided him out of the flat, as Felix, Demetri, and Jane started the blaze covering what Edward had done.
They found the female vampire they were seeking in an old hunting lodge, deep in the forest. Demetri located her easily, and Edward heard her thoughts well before they approached her.
"Do you want to know why she cuts off their fingers?" Edward asked Demetri, breaking the silence that had covered them oppressively.
Jane and Felix were several yards behind them, guiding the male vampire, and Chelsea still clutched Edward's hand.
Demetri looked towards Edward and asked, "Why?"
"She sees their humanity in their hands. She can no longer control her strength, and crushes everything she attempts to hold. It makes her feel isolated.
"He also used to tell her how much he loved her warm fingers on his skin. She is sure he misses that, and looks to find something to please him, but she grows frustrated when the fingers become cold so swiftly. So she continues to kill and gather more," Edward finished flatly, his face scrunched and hands in his pockets.
Edward's emotions felt out of control, so much so that he was shutting down to try to protect himself. How could something like love so thoroughly destroy an entire family? Edward was, once again, thankful that Bella had never been made immortal.
"E, I—"
"It's fine," Edward said, repeating his new phrase. He felt strangely numb and disconnected.
They found the female a few moments later. It took Felix, Edward, and Demetri to restrain her. Her thoughts were wild and feral, her intentions absolutely demented. She was only calmed when her lover was allowed to put his hands on her. Chelsea attempted to use her power to grant them a reprieve from their last moments of sorrow by loosening their bond, but the male understood what she was doing and rebuked her for it.
The female came back to herself in her last moments, her final thoughts an apology, before the high-pitched keening of her body being ripped apart silenced them. Her mate soon followed.
Together, they all built a large, hot fire and threw the remains of the two lovers on the pyre. It only took a few moments before the characteristic purple smoke began curling in the night sky, and the heady, sweet smell of immortal flesh burning permeated the air.
Edward stood by listlessly as the appendages turned to dust. He turned to his left as the wisps of smoke danced aimlessly in the air by his face, mocking him with their frivolity.
Demetri was crouched by the fire, his skin clinquant in the fire's glow. The tendrils of smoke encircled his head like a demonic halo, and Edward thought of him again as an unholy seraphim. The flames flickered causing the shadows on his face to change erratically, bringing a new plane of Demetri's face to Edward's attention with each shift.
Edward backed away into the shadows where he belonged, away from the desire he did not deserve to see manifested.
With the job done, there was no reason left to linger in London. The five vampires gathered their things from the hotel and left before daybreak. Jane complained that she wasn't given time to properly clean up before their departure, but Edward would not hear it. He wanted to leave this behind him.
Demetri, Chelsea, and even Felix had made attempts to get Edward to speak, but it was pointless. Edward was withdrawn and taking up residence solely in his own mind for the time being, while the rest of the world was hidden by fog.
Edward passed the time on the short flight by closely inspecting his fingernails, which were caked with dirt, blood, and venom. When he assisted in tearing the newborn to pieces, the recent kill she had made caused him to be spattered with gore. The neatly pressed shirt he wore was spotted with the venom and blood mixture, and his forearms were sticky with it. He pulled the coat he wore closer around him to make sure he was covered, and promptly returned to the task of scrutinizing his fingers.
They arrived back to Volterra quickly, and made their way to the throne room to report to Aro. At Edward's request no one brought up Jane's behavior, although Aro clearly saw what happened when he had them report. He simply thanked them all for their hard work and dismissed them. Before leaving, Aro affectionately patted Edward on the back, giving him a tight-lipped smile. Edward only stared at him before turning his back and exiting. He neither spoke nor looked at anyone as he left the room.
Edward went straight to his room, discarded his bags, shredded off his ruined clothing and went to take a shower. He had to get the muck removed from his arms and fingernails.
The bathroom was immaculately kept, with fluffy crimson towels and bathrobes in the same shade. Edward laughed humorlessly before turning on the water to the highest temperature. He waited until it heated up and the room filled with steam before stepping in.
Edward could barely feel the water; his thoughts were concentrated on scrubbing his fingernails. The shower was fully stocked with everything he might require, and he quickly found a small brush with which he could clean his hands. He began scouring the hardened nails with ferocity as though trying to purge himself of the self-loathing he was experiencing. If only he could get his hands clean, then he would be free of what he'd done. He could forget it.
Edward cleansed and rubbed and polished and buffed his fingernails, but the stains would not come clean. He added more force and the brush crumbled in his hand. He grabbed another one and began scrubbing again in desperation, and, once again, the tiny plastic tool could not withstand Edward's panicked grip.
The pieces were angrily thrown into the wall, imbedding themselves into the tile with the force at with they were flung.
Edward screamed in pathetic desolation as the bleakness of his current position finally overtook him. He pounded his fists into the wall repeatedly, causing the tile to crack. He followed-up by splaying his fingers widely on the cool wall, staring at the grime that directly reflected his soul: dirty, black, mucked up, and filthy. He laid his forehead against the wall in between his soiled hands, the coldness a vast contrast from the heated water that cascaded over his body.
He barely registered the sound of the door opening, and couldn't bring himself to care.
"E?" Demetri called out quietly. "I'm not trying to look, but I know you're upset, and I couldn't help but hear you."
Edward heard some rustling behind him, and Demetri slid back the shower door. Edward looked over his shoulder and saw Demetri pointedly looking away from Edward's naked form, holding up one of the bathrobes. Edward chuckled maniacally and put his forehead back on the wall, continuing to laugh softly. Demetri sighed and reached in the shower, turning off the spray.
Demetri stepped into the stall and placed the robe over Edward's shoulders and began wrapping it around him. It was a bit awkward and difficult to do, as Edward's hands were still splayed on the wall. Edward unexpectedly brought his arms down, capturing Demetri's and holding them around his torso. Edward clutched Demetri tightly, silently imploring him to keep him tethered to the small shards of reason he had left. His body started to tremble and quake with tearless sobs and Demetri only held him tighter. Edward's legs would no longer support him, but it was okay because Demetri would not let him fall.
The two men slid to the wet floor of the shower, Edward's back against Demetri's chest. Edward continued to desperately wail; now that he'd started he was not sure how he had kept from it for so many weeks. Each thought he could not keep at bay pounded into him unremittingly, and his body could no longer contain them. He thought of Bella, his lost family, and his current position as a murderer of the innocent and he screamed, thinking that maybe the forcefulness of his voice could chase the torturous musings away.
Demetri tried his best to soothe Edward by crooning to him softly and smoothing his soaked, matted hair from his face. Edward suddenly became aware that the only thing shielding his naked body from Demetri's gaze was the plush crimson robe that had become soaked from the shower floor.
"E, shhhh, it will be alright. You are good. Everything about you is good. You could not commit an evil act if you tried," Demetri whispered into the crook of Edward's neck.
Edward momentarily stopped his sobbing to say, "But my hands are so dirty." He held up each of his digits and displayed them for Demetri, his fingers twitching frantically. Demetri brought Edward's pointer finger to his mouth and kissed it sweetly and gently. Edward held his breath.
"Some stains take longer to get rid of, E," came Demetri's breathy reply. Demetri's warm lips felt like flower petals on his finger, soft and smooth. Demetri embraced Edward impossibly tighter.
"Edward," Demetri started. Edward was stunned to hear his full name fall from Demetri's lips. Demetri speaking his name felt like a warm hug, and the delicate pronunciation was intimate in a way that was different from the appellation spoken by anyone else. It made Edward feel safe and cared for. "I know that the pieces of your heart are scattered. You feel that you will never find them all again, but, trust me, I am very good at finding things. I already know the shape they are to go back in," Demetri stated, clutching Edward's left pectoral tightly. "I can feel how good your heart is Edward, even in its absence."
Edward let his breath out in a rush, and sobbed once more quietly. "How can you stand to be near me? I can barely tolerate myself."
"Edward, I have not been moved by another in well over five hundred years. How could I not want to be near you?" Demetri replied delicately, the movement of his words vibrating Edward's throat, as Demetri's lips still rested in the crook of Edward's neck.
Demetri inhaled deeply and said, "Would it be too forward and deplorable of me to tell you how exquisite you smell, E?" He ran his nose across the expanse of Edward's neck, tickling the tender flesh that existed there. Edward tilted his head to the side, and Demetri took it as an invitation, covering Edward's exposed flesh with small kisses.
Edward felt the pleasant tightening in his stomach again and a rush to his groin. He tried to shift so that he could hide his embarrassment from Demetri, but in his nearly unclothed state it was impossible. What was it about Demetri that caused him to so thoroughly come undone? Whether it be his kind words, brutal truths, or angular beauty, Edward could not keep his arousal contained when Demetri touched him.
Demetri noticed Edward's awkward state, and whispered kindly in his ear, "Don't you ever take care of yourself, E?'
Edward could barely speak as his mortification multiplied tenfold. "I've never really…done…anything to…you know…" Edward spluttered out.
"E," Demetri stated in a shocked tone. "You would feel much better if you did. You need a…release, for lack of a better word."
Edward took in a ragged breath. Demetri was cradling him gently, his smell was intoxicating, and his warm breath gently caressed the wanting skin of his throat. The venom that flowed to his groin made him painfully hard, and he was practically throbbing and pulsating with need.
"I could show you how….if you want?"
"I don't know, I-I really…" Edward couldn't imagine doing that with someone to witness it. He was, in most instances, overly proper, and the act of masturbation was something he could never have imagined doing—even in private.
"I'll only show you, E. I promise not to take advantage. I want you to feel good…to feel better," Demetri said, his hand moving from Edward's chest up to his cheek, turning his face so that he could look at him.
Demetri lightly brushed his closed mouth against Edward's lips, and the sensations caused Edward to moan quietly. He could not rebuff Demetri's advances any longer, and no part of him wanted to.
Edward shakily breathed out, "Okay."
Demetri removed the robe that was barely covering Edward, and the fabric fell into his lap leaving Edward completely exposed, his now bare back against Demetri's clothed chest.
The older vampire slowly and tenderly placed his palm over the back of Edward's right hand, entwining their fingers, as he guided it to Edward's rigid member. Together, their hands wrapped themselves around the most intimate part of Edward's body, and squeezed lightly. Edward could not stop the wanton moan that passed his open mouth. The heated flesh of his arousal had never been touched in any manner other than cleansing, and Edward could not explain how he had survived without it.
"Grasp tightly here," Demetri explained, his words tickling Edward's mouth where they were still joined, "and move your hand up and down. I've always enjoyed a slower pace to begin with." As he spoke, Demetri led Edward's learning hand. Edward closed his eyes and panted heavily as the first strokes sent him reeling.
"Sometimes, I like to run my thumb over the top," Demetri pushed Edward's thumb over the head of his erection, stopping underneath, lambently teasing his sensitive frenulum. "It feels wonderful to alternate between strokes and swipes."
Demetri began leading Edward through a steady rhythm. Stroke, stroke, swipe…stroke, stroke, swipe.
Edward felt he was running up a staircase that couldn't possibly go high enough. Each stroke and every swipe brought him higher and higher and he felt hot and cold, free and contained, here and there all at the same time. His body was going through a maddening paroxysm; Edward simply hurt with the gratification of it.
At the center of it all was Demetri. Demetri, with his carefully built wall surrounding his thoughts. Beautiful, caring, patient Demetri, whose hand had left Edward's, and was tracing mindless patterns into the bare flesh of his torso.
Edward's hand had sped up without his knowledge, and Demetri was kissing him unapologetically, his mouth consuming Edward's with a ferocity he had not known possible.
Demetri separated his mouth from Edward's to look over his body appreciatively and panted, "I can't begin to imagine anything as beautiful as you right now, Edward, and I've seen thousands upon thousands of sunrises over countless seas."
"Nnnnn, I think I'm about to… Could you unbutton your shirt, please? I…mmmm…" Edward could not finish his sentence, but Demetri knew what Edward needed. Demetri skillfully unbuttoned his top, and Edward's back was able to press against the bareness of Demetri's fully exposed upper body. Edward felt every muscle of Demetri's torso, as well as the rapid rise of fall of his chest. Edward writhed against Demetri, and moaned into his mouth. Both men were breathing quickly, both sets of lips parted, drinking in the flavor of each other.
The way that Demetri fit into the curve of Edward's back sent him over the edge, and Edward came with a surprised groan. Edward leaned forward as each breath hissed out through his clenched teeth. He threw his head back as his body shuddered, absolute pleasure radiating throughout his sensitive body, before slamming back into him with devastating force. The orgasm was almost painful in its intensity, curling tightly in his abdomen before springing outwards, and Edward felt overwhelmed with relief.
Neither man spoke nor moved for several moments as Edward recovered. Once Edward regained feeling in his appendages, he became very aware of Demetri's stimulation pressed firmly into his backside. Edward felt extremely selfish and guilty, knowing that Demetri's arousal must've been painful after witnessing what Edward had just done.
"I-I'm sorry, you must be…do you need…?" Edward stuttered out. After what he had just allowed Demetri to be privy to, he still could not speak of certain things.
"Don't worry about me, E. Do you feel ok?" Demetri questioned, flashing Edward a wide smile. Edward smirked shyly, running his hands through his messy hair.
"I do feel much more collected," Edward answered, laughing abashedly.
"I suppose you would like to get cleaned up now, and no more breaking things," Demetri chided jokingly, while sliding out from behind Edward.
"Don't leave," Edward interjected quickly. "I mean, could you wait for me in my room? I…I don't think I want to be alone anymore." Edward knew it sounded cliché, but the truth of the statement was made very apparent to him upon voicing it. Demetri gave Edward a lazy smile.
"Of course I'll stay, Edward. Nothing would make me happier."
Edward turned the water back on in the shower, and rinsed off quickly. He went into his quarters and found Demetri in one of the crimson robes lying in his bed, his drenched clothing discarded on the floor. Edward crawled in with him, sprawling himself over the comforter. He laid his head on Demetri's chest, as Demetri brought his steadfast arms around to hold Edward close.
See, I told you beds were good for sharing, Demetri thought, chuckling warmly.
Edward angled his face towards Demetri who ran his hand through Edward's hair before kissing him deeply and meaningfully, and this time Edward had no intentions of stopping it. The meeting of their mouths held many hopes for Edward, and it was there, in Demetri's enduring embrace, that Edward began to find his absolution.
End notes: So? Questions? Comments?
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