A/N: Good evening everyone! We want to thank you all for your support. It's so much fun to write this fic and even better when we see you enjoying it so much :D

Hope you like this new chapter! Let us know in the reviews xXx Terrie & Handy

Disclaimer: Same as chapter 1-5.


Blessed ~ Chapter 6

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Show mercy to those who have doubts.

Jude 1:22

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Laughter spilt through the swinging kitchen door and out into the hallway. Father John sat with Mrs Patmore to his right, followed by Sr Josephine and Ivy, and Anna on his left. They were all surprised by the amount of folded papers spilling out of the suggestion box.

'This was a brilliant idea, Father,' Anna said. 'We should have done it ages ago.'

'Yes, someone should have suggested it,' he returned with a grin. 'Speaking of which, do you have a suggestion in here, Anna? Do any of you?'

'None that she'll own up to, I reckon. Moving along now, my turn!' The cook grabbed one of the suggestions, clearing her throat, 'Oh, and this one is for me…

'Mrs Patmore should add more cheese to the cheese sandwiches, and butter too.'

'More cheese? Why maybe I'll start adding a bit of bread instead!'

Father John chuckled, 'They're growing children, they get hungry, Mrs P.'

'They're bottomless pits, more like! Two slices per sandwich, that's one slice more than last year,' the cook proclaimed.

'Next!' Anna interrupted, reaching for one of the pieces of paper. 'Oh yes, I like this one!

'Dear Father John,

We, Brenda, Judith, Pamela, Karen and Cynthia, would like to suggest the implementation of a night of dancing in our beloved Blessed Virgin. Maybe every Saturday? It would be such great fun, and everyone would love it! Miss Moorsum has said we could use her new turntable, and she has plenty of records so that it wouldn't cost anything. It would be just great if we were allowed some of the village teens too. We would like to thank you in advance for the time you will take to read this.'

Anna giggled. 'I think the girls and Jane have been planning this one for awhile.

'Implementation, our beloved Blessed Virgin, thank you in advance…?' Mrs P uttered, 'You can't say no to that, Father. Not after their sacrifice of swallowing the whole dictionary.'

Father John nodded with a smile. 'I do like the idea, actually. Maybe not every Saturday, but why not once a month? It would be fun, and after all, we have teenagers here, and teenagers need to dance, don't they? I've cut a rug in my younger years.'

'They certainly do,' Anna agreed, with the image of a dancing Father John flashing through her mind. 'And not just teenagers. I like the idea too.' Oh yes, she loved to dance. It would be quite fun to have a dance once a month.

'I know a certain someone who'll be hating it, though,' Mrs Patmore cocked her brow. 'She's sure to give you grief over it, Father. Even when she was a girl, she hated frivolity.'

'But not you, huh, Mrs P?' Father teased her.

'Me? If you're suggesting I am a froliker...you'd be right, Father,' the cook joked.

'Well, put it in the good ideas pile then…' Father handed the paper to Ivy. 'Is that our second one?'

'Yes, the first was the shutting off lights an hour later on Friday and Saturday,' Ivy replied.

'Oh Sister Madeleine won't like that one either, not one bit!' the cook huffed.

'Shutting the lights off at nine on weekends is too early…' Father John said, 'And they end up using their torches anyway.'

'That's true,' the other's agreed.

'I'm just saying she'll make a fuss out of it, so grand you will be forced to give in,' Mrs Patmore insisted.

'I won't, Mrs P. I certainly won't.'

'My turn next!' Ivy proclaimed, taking another suggestion from the box.

'Me and my mates would like to spend a day at the beach because the beach is just there but we never go.'

'They've never gone to the beach?' Father John asked the others with a surprised look on his face.

'Oh no, Sister Madeleine doesn't like the water,' Anna explained. 'And she says it's dangerous to take so many children.'

'It's a sin to live in such a beautiful place, with the countryside and beach, and these children spend most of their days at the Orphanage during the summer. But Sister is right. It would be a big undertaking. So many children to watch in the water.'

'Maybe not, if we don't take them all at once. What if we took them in groups of say, twenty? With you, Father, and Jane and me, and a couple of the sisters. You'd like to go wouldn't you Sr Josephine? There would be plenty of us to watch over them.' Anna was getting excited about the whole idea.

'You're right, Anna. Well then, we're definitely going to the beach!' Father said with determination.

'What's this?' Sister Madeleine came in; her arms already crossed in her standard defensive posture. 'Certainly not a tea party at this time of day?'

Mrs Patmore immediately rolled her eyes. The young women, Ivy and Sister Mary Josephine, froze. But Father John and Anna seemed not to mind the woman's presence at all.

'We're reading the suggestions, Sister,' Father replied. 'The box was full.'

'Again with that nonsense?' The old nun shook her head in disapproval. 'What could those children suggest that would be good enough for us to approve?'

'Well, there are a couple already, and I'm sure there will be more still,' he said, going through the ones they had picked. 'Lights out at ten on Friday and Saturday. A dance, one Saturday a month after dinner. A day at the beach.'

'And those are the good ones? Who made them think we would agree to...?' Sister Madeleine eyed the others.

'We did, Sister. That's the whole point,' Father replied.

'Lights off at ten?! A monthly dance? The beach?! This is an orphanage, not a house party.'

'Exactly, Sister. This is an Orphanage. We have children here, not convicted criminals. They need to have fun and play. They need to do what children are meant to do,' the priest persisted.

Sister could see he was not backing down. 'Whatever you say. You are in charge now, aren't you? But when things go bad, I'll be here to say I told you so. The Bishop won't like what you are doing.'

'The Bishop?' Father questioned, puzzled, trying to understand what the old nun exactly meant.

'The Bishop. Just you wait,' she stated before walking out the kitchen door, leaving them alone again.

'What did she mean by that?' he wondered aloud, bringing a hand to run through his hair.

'Oh, she loves to write letters to her superiors about this and that,' Mrs Patmore muttered. 'She has a talent for stirring up trouble and filing complaints. That's what she does best.'

'I wouldn't be too worried about it,' Anna assured him, resting a hand on his arm. He smiled at her. 'Nothing's ever come of it, and I don't think most of her letters have ever been replied to.'

'I'm not worried,' he said. 'I just wish she would be more tolerant with the children.'

'I'm here to tell you, Gertrude Poovey was never a child, not even when she was born,' Mrs Patmore offered with a grimace.

'What do you mean? She was born old already?' Sister Josephine asked, confused.

'Oh yes, she was. In her soul.' The cook nodded before standing up from her chair. 'You stay there reading those while I peel some potatoes for dinner. Gotta get to work...I'm listening, though. And you two,' she pointed at her two helpers. 'Ten more minutes and you come help me. We have an army of little 'uns to feed.'

'All right, let's continue.' Father clapped his hands together. 'It's your turn, Sister Josephine.'

'Oh, yes!' The young nun took a random suggestion and began to read, but after the first couple of words, she turned red. 'I think…' she stammered, unable to look at the priest. 'I think this one is for you, Father.'

Everyone eyed him as he settled his readers on his nose. 'Let's see, hmm, my yes…' It was his turn to flush. 'Yes...thank you...er...next? Oh, that's me.'

xxx

Isaiah Rivers, the head caretaker, cleared his throat and removed his cap. 'It's those rascals there, Father,' he began, glancing scoldingly toward the boys. 'They pee on the bushes, and it's killing them. The only reason I don't whack them with my rake is that they run too fast.'

This month's gathering had officially opened with a prayer. For the first time in the long-held tradition of monthly meetings at the Blessed Virgin Orphanage, the children had been invited to attend. Change was indeed taking place. Father John was now in charge, whereas before these meetings were overseen by the iron fist of Sister Madeleine. Now, he made sure everyone had the right to speak, to suggest and to discuss, and that included the children, as long as they were respectful. For the teen boys part, all they wanted was for it to be over and done with, but this would change once their priest made his special announcements.

'No need to whack anyone with your rake, Mr Rivers,' Father said, suppressing a chuckle.

'It's all these liberties…' Sister Madeleine grumbled from her chair near the front. The idea of being a mere member of the crowd making her particularly moody today. 'All these new liberties make them unable to see right from wrong.'

'Sister -'

'Actually…' Mr Rivers interrupted Father John because he wanted to add, 'The boys here have always done it, even with Father Benedict.'

Father nodded. 'And why do you do that, boys, hmm?' he asked the culprits.

'Not worth going inside just for a wee. It's faster to do it in the bushes, isn't it?' Philip replied, crossing his arms with a smirk.

'Be that as it may, it's still wrong, Philip, and you know that. And if I hear about it happening again, you will be punished.'

The boys looked at each other in shock. Father John punishing them? He wouldn't, not really, would he?

'Better still,' the priest continued. 'You said your bushes are dying because of their actions, didn't you Mr Rivers?'

The caretaker nodded with an angry frown.

'And I see that you and Alf have so much work to do...I think our boys here should start helping you. See how hard it is to keep a garden beautiful and well maintained. They'll value it more, and they won't want to pee on their own work ever again.'

'Oh yes!' Mr Rivers rubbed his hands together. 'That's a grand idea, all right!'

'Good. Starting tomorrow morning, you…' Father pointed to the older boys. '...will be our summer gardeners.'

'Oh no…' the teens whined, wrinkling their noses in complaint, but Father John had the last word on the matter, and it was time to move on.

The suggestion box had been opened earlier in the day, and it was time to discuss the ideas. Good ideas that everyone who was at the opening of the box was excited about. Everyone that is, except Sr Madeleine.

'All right then,' Father John continued, holding up some slips of paper. 'These are the suggestions from the box we have agreed can be (and with a nod and a wink to the teenage girls) implemented. Please try to hold your applause until I'm finished.

'Number one, we will have a monthly Saturday night dance, beginning in August, just a few days away.' The announcement brought a cheer from the group of girls who were sitting with their teacher, Miss Moorsum. They just couldn't help themselves. 'I've been informed Miss Moorsum has agreed to let us use her new turntable and impressive collection of records.' He nodded in Jane's direction.

'Number two, lights-out will now be at ten on Friday and Saturday, and for the teens, it will be moved to eleven on Saturday dance night.' Father looked up to see James and Teddy pump their fists in the air.

'Number three, and this one will be fun. In the month of August, we will be spending two days at the beach. And that includes sitting around a campfire roasting weenies!' Despite Father's request, this was met with whoops and hollers.

Sister couldn't keep quiet any longer, 'Now I really must object! It's entirely too dangerous to take almost fifty children to the water's edge and not expect something terrible to happen. Of all the foolish…'

Father held up his hand, effectively silencing her. 'Sister, I agree with you completely. Taking fifty children at once would be foolhardy, but, I do think seven adults can handle half that number. We simply take twenty or so of them one day, and the rest another. Not the little ones, of course. Now I suggest we take the first group next Wednesday and the second group on Thursday, and then again two weeks on. It's an easy walk, and it should be fun. You're welcome to come, Sister.'

'Not likely,' she huffed. 'And if anything should happen, anything at all, it will be on your head.'

'Of course, Sister. Now, next, our Winter play. No decision has been made on what we'll be performing, but suggestions are welcome. And participation is mandatory, be it acting or working backstage.

'Next, and this suggestion goes to you, Mrs P. Someone thinks we should be served chocolate cake every Thursday, and I heartily concur. What do you say?'

'I say, if Ivy bakes it, I'll serve it,' said Mrs Patmore, with a cheery laugh.

'Excellent!' replied Father. 'Finally, and this one is near and dear to my heart. Someone has suggested we purchase new books for the library. That's an excellent idea. I'll be checking the budget to see what extra funds are available. And we'll need to purchase swimming gear for our beach days. Okay, that's it. Done and dusted, unless anyone else has something to say. No? All right then, let me say a prayer and close this meeting…oh, by the way, the suggestion box will be placed at the chapel door again. Fill it up.'

xxx

Anna heard the strains of 'Heartbreak Hotel' as she neared her room. Pushing open the door, she could see why. Jane and young Sr Mary Josephine were dancing in the centre of the bedroom to the popular tune playing on Jane's new portable turntable. 'What's going on? I thought Elvis Presley had moved in.'

'You should be so lucky! But you do have Gorgeous Gordon panting over you. That's not a bad second place prize. I don't want to hear any complaining from you, missy. Isn't that right, Sister Josephine?'

Out of breath, Sister Josephine fell back on Anna's bed giggling into her hand. 'If you say so, Jane.'

'Yeah, well...' Anna walked over and turned off the music. 'You're lucky Sister is in her office. If she heard this and walked in on Sr Josephine's gyrating, we'd all be in Heartbreak Hotel,' she said, facing Jane with her hands on her hips.

'Well, aren't we grumpy, Miss Smith? Need I remind you, you're the only one in this room who has a hot date tonight?'

Anna rolled her eyes and sighed. 'I wish it was you, rather than me. I'm really not into it.'

'Oh, you will be, you're just in a mood. Now let's find you something sexy to wear. Something that will knock his socks off!'

Anna looked from Sr Josephine, on the bed and Jane, already pulling clothes from her wardrobe. Jane had one thing right, she was in a mood, that much was sure.

'This is cute.' Jane was holding up a red and white polka-a-dot summer dress with a halter-like top and a flirty full shirt. 'You can cinch it at the waist with this wide black belt.'

Anna turned up her nose and pulled out a black pleated skirt. 'Yes, I think this.' Then she brought forth a white blouse with a high Peter Pan collar. 'It's sleeveless, so I'd better take my black jumper too. Well, that was easy!'

Jane stood there looking at her, wondering where her friend had gone. "What? Are you joking? Are you trying to give Sister Josephine a run for her money? You'll look like a nun, beg your pardon, Sister. Or like a librarian attending a funeral. Gordon will hate it. '

Sister Josephine just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

'Well, I like it, and that's all that matters.' Anna's mind was made up, and she really didn't care what Gordon thought of it.

'Do you need to talk, dear?'

'Maybe later. Maybe tomorrow. Thanks, Janie. Now if you two will excuse me, I want to take a shower and wash my hair.' Saying that, Anna grabbed her shampoo, creme rinse and robe and headed for their shared bathroom.

It wasn't until almost two hours later that her date finally showed up, already late, only adding to the mood she was in. He pulled the van up in front of The Blessed Virgin in a cloud of dust, the sight making Anna wince. It was half-seven, thirty minutes after the scheduled hour.

Gordon hadn't seen her sitting there yet, watching him from the front steps. He looked in his rear-view mirror, running a hand over his flap-top, a cigarette dangling from his lower lip. 'Ah, it's going to be a great night…' he thought to himself before he laid on the horn for Anna to come out.

'You're late,' Anna said, hopping into the van and closing the door with force.

'Sorry! Already lashing out at me? You weren't this moody when I met you. Just chill, baby and give your man a kiss,' he replied, leaning over, lips puckered.

'No. Not when you've been smoking, and I'm not moody,' she told him when he backed away. His kisses always tasted like smoke, and he knew she found it disgusting. When was the last time she had enjoyed being kissed by him? Honestly...she couldn't remember. 'I've been waiting on the steps for half an hour, Gordon.'

'Okay, sorry.' Gordon threw the butt of the fag out of the window. 'Gloomy, though, aren't we? Going to a funeral?'

Anna looked down at her pleated skirt, the darkness of the fabric made her a bit uncomfortable; it didn't match her spirit, who she was...well, maybe it did tonight. Remembering that Jane had asked her the exact same thing, she tried to excuse herself this time. 'I haven't worn this one in a long time...I needed a change.'

'It's a change, all right. Let's go?'

'Yes, let's go…'

He drove for about ten minutes when the pub they were dining at came into view. It was a quaint little place, set amongst the cottages and across the village square, where during the day men and women sold flowers and vegetables.

'Bloody hell! My spot's gone.'

'To be fair, it's not your spot, is it?' she asked him as he stopped the car on the road. The traffic here was never that bad, and at this time of the day most cars were parked.

'But I always park there, and it's taken,' Gordon pointed out. 'Damn!'

'There are plenty of other places. Pick one,' Anna told him.

'Yeah, but I like that one.'

She rolled her eyes at his childish manners. He so often behaved like this, more lately than ever, she was sure. Gordon was almost thirty years old but acted like he was ageing in reverse. 'Just don't take too long, I'm starving.'

'Are you, baby?' he parked the car then, right next to his special spot. 'I was thinking we could sit here for a little before going inside.'

'Why?'

'Oh, you know... ' he began to fiddle with her ponytail, taking the end of it between his fingers and tickling her ear with it. 'Spend some time alone…'

'Gordon…stop that, it tickles,' she said, pushing his hand away, trying not to get too annoyed.

'Come on, babe. No one's watching. You used to like it, hm?' His hand travelled down to her lap then, and slowly, he began to touch her bare legs, pushing her skirt up to have better access to her skin.

'Gordon, please!' She grabbed his hand before he could move it further. Her eyes locked with his, scoldingly. He looked at her with fiery anger and for a moment it scared her. 'I never used to like this…' she said.

'You bore… come on.' Gordon leant down to kiss her neck, freeing his hand from her grasp. 'Why don't you want to make your man happy?' Boldly and without taking into consideration her complaints and pleadings for him to stop, he slid his hand under her skirt, and was fast enough to touch the lace edge of her panties.

'Gordon! What are you doing?' She grabbed his wrist, pushing him away again.

'What? You are my girlfriend, aren't you?' his voice rose, and Anna saw anger ignite in his eyes.

'That doesn't give you the right -'

'What now? Don't tell me you're a saint,' he sneered.

'I'm not, but -'

'But what? I'm a man, Anna; I have needs. And you're my girl; you're damn lucky I want to be with you and not with some other girl.'

'Lucky?' She couldn't believe what she was hearing.

'Yeah, I could have any woman I want...but no, I respect you. I wait and wait; I told you I would.'

'This doesn't seem like you're waiting…' she shouted. 'And if you are making such a big of a sacrifice you don't have to. Be my guest, Gordon. Find yourself another babe, by all means.'

'Don't be like that, okay!' He held her roughly by the arm when she tried to open the door to leave. 'It's not normal you want to wait until we're married, not for a modern girl like you. What's your problem?'

'I can't believe you're saying that!'

'That priest of yours is putting ideas in your head, isn't he?' Gordon's nostrils flared in anger. 'Pious joker! Preaching to women to save themselves until they're married.'

'First of all, he's not just my priest.'

'He got that game off me, he did…' Gordon laughed to himself. 'But I'll get him back one day.'

'What game?' She stilled her movements to try to get away from him. 'What are you saying?'

'The football match. Bet he pissed himself when he saw the boys puking their guts out.'

Anna gasped at his confession, but deep inside she knew it had been him all along. 'I can't believe...it was you?!'

'It was only a joke.' Gordon's laughter continued, finding his prank too funny.

'I should have known...of course, it was you. Only someone so stupid would do such thing. Stupid and childish.''

Gordon stopped laughing then, taking a minute to digest her words. 'You're calling me stupid?!'

'I'm calling you stupid, and a brute! An utter brute. If you don't grow up past that...boyish phase of yours, no girl will want you.'

'Well, you do! Admit it, baby,' he smirked at her, but his face turned serious when he saw her looking at him.

'I don't…' She shook her head, feeling a bit guilty for breaking up with him like this, but then, if he loved her he would understand, he wouldn't act the way he did. Maybe that was their problem. They were too different, they'd always been, and only now was she seeing it. 'I might have...a long time ago, but not anymore. Not for years.'

'What are you saying?' Gordon breathed heavily, listening to what she said.

'I'm sorry, Gordon, but I can't do this. Not anymore.'

With that, she opened the door and left, running away from his van as fast as she could. The cool air of the approaching night was making her feel better, but nevertheless, it hadn't been enough to stop tears from being shed. Why? Change. Her life was, just now, completely different than it had been two minutes ago. She was free, and she was sad. It was good and bad all at once.

'Anna! Anna?' he called angrily after her.

'Leave me alone!'

'Bitch!' he whispered to himself before shouting at her again. 'We'll talk again, Anna! Don't you think you can walk away and call it an end? I won't have it!' He punched the steering wheel of his van and turned it on, rage making him hit the accelerator harder than he'd liked, making the sound echo in the calm silence. In the distance, he saw Anna disappearing into the path that lead to the Orphanage.

No way they were done. No bloody way.

xxx

'Father!' Anna exclaimed the moment she flipped the light switch to see him coming in the back door. 'You startled me. I thought I was the only one still up.'

'I'm sorry. I'm having a restless night, but that's not unusual for me,' John said, his eyes crinkling, quietly closing the door behind him. 'Sometimes the night air helps.' He was dressed in his maroon housecoat, pyjamas trousers and undershirt and his slippers.

Anna noticed his hair was mussed like he had been running his hands through it, 'I was just going to have a glass of milk and a sandwich. Will you sit down and join me? I'm starving.'

He nodded his head, pulling out two chairs at the table. 'Didn't Gordon feed you tonight?' he asked jokingly then he immediately regretted it.

Anna was at the counter slicing bread for their sandwiches, her back to him. 'I didn't hang around long enough to eat.'

'No? Do you want to talk? I'm here, you know?'

She turned then, 'I know, Father, but not yet, okay? Now, here's your sandwich. Tea or milk?'

'Milk, I think,' John replied. He couldn't help smile at her standing there in her pink chenille robe and bare feet.

Anna poured two glasses and sat them on the table. 'What keeps you up tonight?

'Something good, I think. At least it has the potential to be.'

'Can you tell me about it? I could use some good news.'

He hesitated at her comment, but only for a moment. She would tell him if and when she was ready. 'You already know. There's a young couple coming to spend time with Rosie in the morning.'

Anna placed her hand on his shoulder as she took her seat beside him. 'And she's your first, and maybe your favourite?'

'No, I love them all,' he said, shaking his head in denial. 'Well, maybe, a little... I love them all, but Peanut, she...'

'She stole your heart. It happens.'

John rested his cheek in his hand, looking at her. 'I'm a softie for a pretty girl, what can I say?' he chuckled.

They ate their food in comfortable silence for awhile, until Anna turned toward him and very earnestly asked, 'Do you like being a priest? Oh my God!' she gasped, burying her face in her hands. 'I'm sorry, Father, that was a silly question to ask.' She rose from the table. 'I should go to bed now.'

Her question had surprised him. No one in the sixteen years he had been a priest had ever asked that and that in itself seemed odd to him if he were to think about it. He was at a loss for words. Staring down at his folded hands he spoke almost longingly. 'I miss not hearing my name spoken.'

Anna turned back to him. 'What?'

'Please stay, Anna.' He looked up at her. 'It's not that late. Don't go just yet.'

She took her seat again. 'What did you mean, Father? People speak your name all the time.'

'Father.' He nodded, 'Yes, Father, but never simply John, like a friend would say.' He laughed softly, wishing he could let it drop, but it was too late for that, and she sat there, watching him, breaking his heart with her sweet presence. John swivelled toward her until their knees were touching. Automatically, her hands reached out for his. 'We're friends, aren't we Anna?'

"We are, the best of friends, but I don't know if I'd feel right -,'

He stopped her then, 'No, please, don't give it another thought. I should never have said anything. I can see where it would be uncomfortable for you.'

She sat there staring at their clasped hands, and he watched as her face grew thoughtful, pensive. John could see there was something she needed to get off her mind. 'Anna?'

'F...Father, I know who gave the boys the cigars...and I sort of feel responsible.'

'Now Anna Smith, don't go telling me you gave my boys cigars because I find that hard to believe.'

'No,' that made her smile, but for just a moment. "I do know who did, though.'

'Was it Gordon?'

She inhaled sharply. 'You knew? And you didn't say anything?'

'Not for sure, but I thought there was the possibility. And it's not your fault. Don't you go thinking that.'

"We fought tonight.' Once she'd started talking she couldn't seem to stop. It helped that they were still holding hands.

'Over the cigars?'

'That,' she nodded, 'and other things. So many other things. I broke it off with him. He's changed, or maybe I have. He'll probably be happier without me. All we ever did lately was argue. I did the right thing, didn't I?'

'That's your call, but as your friend, I think you did.' John watched as a single tear slipped from her eye. Without a second thought, he reached out and wiped it away and felt her lean into his hand.

After a moment, he smiled at her and rose to standing, bringing her with him. 'Now you go on up to bed, and I'll clean up the evidence of our midnight snack. We don't want to bring the wrath of Mrs Patmore down on us.'

'I do think I can sleep now. I know I made the right decision about Gordon. I should have done it long ago.' Anna brightened then, 'But, I will help you because it takes half the time with two and you need your sleep as much as I do.'

'As you wish, Miss Smith,' he replied with a nod of his head.

The kitchen was sorted soon enough; the light was extinguished, and they found themselves standing at the foot of the big staircase. Anna stood on the first step facing him. They were eye to eye. Something had changed tonight, but they hadn't quite figured out what just yet.

'Well...goodnight...John,' she whispered with a soft smile as she ducked her head shyly and turned and climbed the stairs.

John stood there a second longer, watching until she rounded the corner. His heart was full and his eyes bright. He would sleep well.

xxx

'They seem very loving, don't they, Father?'

Sister Mary Rose's words went all but ignored from Father John's line of thought, and although he did nod, he hadn't actually heard what she had said.

They were both watching the scene from the kitchen window, as Rosie and her potential new parents played together in the beautiful, flowery garden outside. His Peanut, joyful as always, showing lilies and lavender to the young couple as if they were the most precious treasures of all.

'Father?' Sister Mary Rose insisted. 'She'll be in good hands if they adopt her...and this is our job. As much as it breaks our hearts, it's better for them if they have a mother and a father than to live here.'

'I know,' Father gave in with a sigh.

'We all have favourites,' the gentle nun rested a hand on his back. 'Don't think about it too much. I've had my heart broken so many times...and it will break many times more, but it's worth it.'

'I'm sure it is.' He finally smiled feeling a bit better after Sister's words. 'I just...I want to make sure our children are adopted by good people. I couldn't forgive myself otherwise.'

'That's why these things take so long,' she assured him. 'We make sure they are fit for the job.'

The scene outside continued to unfold before their eyes. Rosie was now rolling in the grass as Mr and Mrs Lewis laughed. That was until the little girl spotted Father John spying from the window and without a second thought, she jumped up from the ground to take a better look at him.

'Faver!' She giggled when she saw him smiling back, and ran for the open kitchen door. She reached for him with outstretched arms, ready to be picked as she always was.

'Hello, little Peanut.' He kissed the girl on the cheek as soon as he settled her in his arms. 'Are you having fun?'

Rosie nodded with a mischievous grin before burying her face in his neck.

'You have to go outside, my darling. Mr and Mrs Lewis are waiting,' Sister Rose told the girl.

'No...Wosie stays with Faver. Look!' She showed Father John a flower she was carrying with her. 'It's pink!'

'It's pink, yes.' John breathed in the flower's smell. 'And pink is your favourite colour, hm?'

'Yes…' Rosie giggled again, one of her hands coming to cup his cheek. She patted him there ever so gently.

'Now go, they're waiting for you,' Father told her. 'They want to know you better and to play with you, go on.' He placed the girl on the floor and before she returned to the couple; she handed him the lily.

'For you, Faver,' and with that she went outside, running and ready for more fun and games, while he stayed there, watching and hoping for the best.

It would be so much harder than he had expected. All of this. Loving children, having then to give them away. With a sigh, he turned to walk back to his office, and images of last night's conversation with Anna played in his mind. He smiled to himself, leaving Sister Rose watching over Rosie and the young couple. Mrs Patmore, Ivy and Sr Josephine were preparing lunch, the smell of stew already so strong. There were certainly downsides to being here, but there were so many good things. Friends, family...that almost palpable feeling of happiness. Give it time, John Bates...give it time.

xxx

The lunch bell had rung, and masses of hungry children rushed into the dining hall in a somewhat unorderly, raucous manner.

'Calm down, calm down.' It was Father John's voice they heard, whenever high spirits were about to explode into chaos. 'Your seats will be there whether you run or walk, so you'd better walk. Did you all stop to wash your hands?'

'Yes, Father,' was heard echoing through the room. His calls to attention, even his scolds were so different from everything these children were accustomed to. Father John Bates was cool-headed and self-assured, a gentle word was never far from his lips. But, of course, to Sister Madeleine, this was no way to raise children.

From her place at the head table, Sister scowled and muttered to Sister Mary Louise, seated on her left, 'He's spoiling them, and when he leaves we will be the ones mending his mistakes…'

'When he leaves?' Sister Rose questioned, eyeing her superior with a confused look. 'Who said he was going to leave?'

'Who says he isn't?!' Sister Madeleine insisted. 'The Bishop is no fool, and if he received my letter he will do what's right, and what's right is to give the place to someone more...more suitable. Someone with a strong hand to raise these children in the best of ways. Well behaved children don't grow with soft parents, isn't that what they say?'

'Never heard that one.' Sister Louise turned up her nose.

'Most of what she says you never heard before,' Mrs Patmore remarked, as she leant between them, setting a platter of sliced bread on the table.

'Why don't you get back in the kitchen? We can serve ourselves.' Sister Madeleine angrily snapped at her.

'Must I remind you I eat with you now? Ivy and I...The new director said so.' the cook teased. 'He said it was nonsense for the two of us to eat alone in the kitchen. I reckon he's right.'

'What's right, Mrs P?' asked Father John, as he sat himself down, choosing to eat at the head table today.

'Oh, I was just saying that I'm very much enjoy eating with you all. Don't you Ivy?' She elbowed her young helper who was standing beside her holding tray containing a pitcher of water and glasses.

'Oh yes...very much,' Ivy responded with a shy smile.

'That's wonderful, Mrs P,' Father John said. 'Now sit down, I'll be blessing the food for us to eat.'

With that, he asked for silence in the room, and he quickly said the blessing, something simple, he knew too well everyone preferred eating to listening to another sermon.

'Amen...now eat and enjoy. And Teddy, please, don't pick your nose at the table.'

As always, lunch was a joyful respite in their day. There was laughter and jokes, whispered gossip, interesting discussions. Sometimes even loud disagreements ensued. These were usually settled when a child would be made to sit next to Father, wherever he happened to be sitting that day, even if it was the head table, much to Sister's horror and dismay.

Today was Jeremy's day. He was placed between Father John and Mrs Patmore, after cursing at a classmate and inciting a mini food fight. The priest would talk to him later in his office, in private.

After that bit of excitement everything seemed to be going well, even Sister Madeleine had gone silent and appeared to be enjoying her food, when out of the blue, a booming voice silenced the room. They all look toward the door.

'I hope I'm not interrupting your meal!'

'Oh, Lord!' Sister Madeleine exclaimed, bringing one hand to her mouth. 'The Bishop!'

'Indeed, Sister,' the Bishop replied with a grin. 'Didn't you ask for my...intervention?'

The old nun stood up at once and hurriedly walked toward him, taking his hand and kissing it soundly.

'Your Grace, I thought you would inform me of when you were arriving.'

'I like surprises, Sister.' The Bishop smiled, looking at Father John, who was standing with the other member of the staff.

'Your grace,' Father smiled back, walking to him.

The Bishop let go of the nun's hand abruptly. 'My dear friend!' he said, opening his arms to Father John. 'I meant to come earlier…'

'What matters is that you're here now.' Father John patted his friend on the back. Sister Madeleine looked on the scene in shock. All the others were cheering inside. 'And you're most welcome.'

'I could hear the laughter from outside... I can tell I made the right decision in sending you here, son. Don't you agree, Sister?'

The old nun only nodded, unsure of what to say. It seemed like her letter didn't have the effect she wanted. Moreover, it seemed like she had made a big, big error in judgement.

xxx

'I see...I guess it doesn't surprise me,' John sighed shaking his head. The two old friends were now sitting in his office; tea had been served. Through the open window, both men could hear the children laughing and playing. It was a glorious, happy sound to behold and such a change from the Bishop's previous visits.

'You see…' Terence took a sip of his tea, 'the woman was used to being the one in charge. Father Benedict didn't do much besides drinking and gambling.'

'What?'

'Exactly what you heard,' the older man nodded, grinning at John's surprised reaction. 'No one has told you? Yes, he drank to an excess, as many do in our line of work. But he loved gaming for money more than any man should, even less one who should set an example.'

'Did she know?'

'Oh, more than that...Sister Madeleine covered for him. I think, in the end, they all did.'

'I see…by the way, I have a locked cabinet of high-priced alcohol for you to take back home with you. I don't want it here.'

Terence nodded his head. 'It is possible to have a drink now and then without it becoming a problem, you know.'

'Not for me it's not, Terence. Not for me,' John said honestly.

'Tell me! How are you doing?' Terence asked. 'How's your life in this place? What about those doubts of yours? Still tormenting you?'

'What can I say?' John smiled, looking down at his teacup. It was too hot for him to drink still. 'I love being here. It's wonderful, I love the children, I've made…I've made very good friends.'

'But?' Terence eyed him knowingly, and John tried to feign confusion. 'Oh come on, son. I know there's a but coming.'

The priest had to chuckle at that. 'I'm happy here, Terence, the most satisfied I've been anywhere but...sometimes, you know. There are things that still...things I have doubts about, things I'm required to do, things that are expected of me that I don't feel I have the right to do. So many doubts.'

'Are you doubting God, John?'

'No, never God, but some of the teachings of the Church, yes.'

'You're a priest, son because you wanted to be. I advised you and you decided. I warned you, and you told me you were sure about it. You made vows, promises, you married the Church…'

'I know I did...and I respect all of that. I never- '

'Not even in your heart, do you?' John went silent then. Terence had hit the right key. 'Son, we're men, and men are tempted, men doubt, men question and men don't live a life without regrets. What makes us worthy of such status, like this is that we can fight those temptations, those doubts. To live knowing that we are stronger than anything thrown in our way, than anything that tries to weaken us.'

'I know,' John sighed.

'Think about that. You are no less for thinking; you are more for fighting against such thoughts. Live for these children, be their father. Live solely for them,' Terence advised.

'That's what I do. And even that is becoming difficult,' the priest confessed.

'How so?'

'There's a little girl, Rosie...she's going to be adopted,' John told him, his heart tightening in his chest.

'And she's your favourite?' Terence eyed him tenderly.

'I guess…' John smiled to himself. 'She's two, and the sweetest thing. For some reason, she reminds me of him. Of...' John's voice caught.

'I know, son. Well then, I want to meet this Rosie of yours.' Terence clapped his hands together. 'And those pretty teachers too, hm? I'll be asking them if you're behaving.'

'Of course, Terence. Of course.' John smiled, but before they could say another word, there was a knock on the door. 'Come in.'

'I'm sorry, Father, but Jeremy's been waiting. You said you wanted to talk to him?' It was Miss Smith, and behind her, a moody-faced Jeremy. When John saw her, he remembered Terence's words, and for the first time since he had arrived, he looked away from her.

'I do, yes. I'm sorry Jeremy, I forgot in all the excitement of having the Bishop visit. Come in.'

'Well,' the Bishop rose from his chair, 'you do that, and I'll go with Miss...?'

'Smith,' John and Anna both replied at the same time, their eyes met for a moment, but neither lingered there as before. She sensed something was different; it hurt, but he was sure he was doing the right thing.

'Miss Smith,' the Bishop repeated, chancing a look at his friend. 'Maybe Miss Smith can walk me to the kitchen; I'm not sure I remember the way?' But of course, he did.

'Certainly, your Grace,' the teacher smiled politely. 'It'll be my pleasure.'

x

'Well, Jeremy…' Father John faced the child then, as soon as they were left alone. 'You know why you're here?'

'To be saved, I reckon,' Jeremy said sullenly, sitting on the chair across from Father's.

'Saved?' the priest asked, confused.

'Yeah, saved. You'll be tryin' to save my soul again, but I tell you, it won't work. Never does.' The boy pursed his lips and stubbornly crossed his arms over his chest.

'I'm not trying to save you; we're just talking.'

'But that's your job, isn't it? Aren't you a priest of salvation?'

Father smiled. 'I'm not sure I have such power…' He wished he had; he would have used it on himself. 'I just try to help, son.'

'You're not my father!' Jeremy voiced, quite upset. 'Stop calling me son.'

Father John eyed the boy for a moment. He'd thought he'd made some small progress with Jeremy, but there was rebellion in the lad's eyes, sadness, and a distrust for life as he had never seen before...well...to be truthful he had. In himself.

'All right, Jeremy,' he nodded. 'I won't call you son again unless you ask me to.'

'I won't,' was Jeremy's curt answer.

'I called you here because you cursed at Louis again and that practically started a food fight.'

'Yeah, what if I did? They tease me.'

'See…' Father smiled at the boy. 'Now why haven't you told me that before?'

'Why should I? What would you do about it?' Jeremy asked, turning his nose up at the priest.

'I can tell them not to do it again. You have to open up to me, Jeremy. You have to let me know what's going on. How can I save you if you keep yourself to yourself?' Father winked, and the boy eyed him suspiciously. Father John was indeed surprising. 'Tell me, what they tease you about? Tell me how you feel, Jeremy. I'm all ears.'

xxx

'Suppose your shot didn't hit the target then, Miss Poovey.'

'Stop calling me that! I'm Sister Madeleine now and have been for more than fifty years.'

'Miss Poovey or Sister Madeleine, you still made a big mistake. Writing the Bishop to complain about his son…'

'He's not his son.'

'Might as well be… didn't you hear them? He's known Father John since the day he was born. He's known his mother since she was a child too, played together the two, cousins from an uncle's side and all. Blood from the same blood. You were not expecting that were you?'

'Actually…it does make sense now. Father John's here only because he's family. If the Bishop weren't so blinkered, he'd know he's not suited for the -'

'For what, Sister Madeleine?'

'Oh...Your grace, we were just talking -'

'I'm not easily convinced, Sister, and certainly not blinkered. I choose Father John because I know he's the best man for the job, being my cousin or not. I know how to differentiate. If he weren't fit, I would be the first one telling him to go somewhere else.'

'Of course, your grace.'

'Then, stop making such a fuss about it, Sister! Just accept it, because unless Father John leaves of his own free will, he will be staying on until he's old enough to retire.'

'If that's what you wish.'

'That's the best thing for this orphanage. Wishes pay no tribute to God if the are not for the good of this institution. You should think more about that, Sister. Sometimes what we wish for is not what's right. Well, I asked Miss Smith to show me to the kitchen...Father John has spoken very highly of you Mrs Patmore and you too Ivy.'

'Oh, thank you, your Grace,' Mrs Patmore said, while Ivy turned red.

'She's the best cook ever, your Grace,' Anna remarked with a smile.

'I look forward to seeing that for myself come dinnertime, Miss Smith,' the Bishop replied with a grin. 'And let me say, I can't wait for it! Now, can you show me what's going on in the rest of the orphanage, or am I keeping you -?'

'I can do that, your Grace,' Sister Madeleine suggested, stepping in front of the teacher.

'No need, Sister. If Miss Smith doesn't mind, I would like her to do it.'

The kitchen went silent; even the birds outside appeared to have frozen upon hearing the Bishop's words.

'Of course, your Grace,' Anna responded after only a moment's hesitation. 'I'll be happy to show you everything.'

'Thank you,' the Bishop smiled, taking her hand a placing it in the crook of his arm. 'Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a tour to attend to.'

'Halleluia!' It was Mrs Patmore who spoke, after Anna and the Bishop left. 'Now, there's a man I like. I always have liked him.'

'Oh, just go back to work.' Sister Madeleine retorted, boiling with fury. 'We're all lost!'

xxx

Anna was perplexed. The Bishop's visit, although it had been a wonderful surprise to all, had stirred things. What things, she wasn't sure.

She was sure it wasn't her imagination that Father John seemed to be avoiding her. She didn't know him well, she supposed, they'd only met a few months ago, but she thought of them as close friends, especially after their talk the night before. Today, though, he seemed unfamiliar to her; the way he behaved when she was around, the way he tried so hard not to face her.

Anna was in bed, trying to focus on her book, but deep inside she was anxious, even sad. Did something happen that she didn't know? Did she do something wrong? The day had started out so well. The tour she gave to the Bishop had been fun, and light-hearted even; His Grace had proved to be as friendly as Father John, with a good sense of humour and a young spirit, belying his years, but after that...

Maybe it was due to her after all. Maybe she was too friendly, had allowed herself to become too close. Maybe she smiled at him too much, longed for something she couldn't quite yet grasp. Maybe it was her own unsettling that was making her feel this way.

With an exasperated sigh, she placed the book on her nightstand and turned off her lamp. In the darkness, she feared what the future would bring, for what the present already was. The past couple of months had been surprising; the next ones would prove to be even more so...in both good and bad ways.

x

In his room, he kneeled to pray, to ask for strength in his dark hours, for a light at the end of the tunnel, for the words of his friend Terence to echo more often in his mind...but when he opened his eyes, he thought only of her. He thought of how he hated this distance he had tried to put between them, this awkwardness. He missed her, plain and simple. He found that he missed her too much.


Next Chapter: A walk in the sunset and a night of dancing.

Thank you for reading :)