ExtraCheeseCake: I was seriously considering if Kagura should eat the chocolate or not, I found it more child friendly if she didn't XD
Guest (CH6): I had intended to make Kagura sick on the island and force everyone to nurse her back to health. But I'm saving the umbrella loosing and illnes for a later chapter. They have to focus on the Harusame right now.
Guest (CH2): My chapters are 'bout 2000-2500 words long, so I update sporadically (mostly every other they if I feel inspired enough)
Disclaimer: I do not own Gintama
ACT 7 – Royal Pains
Kagura let her umbrella slide off his throat and grabbed the orange Sougo offered her. Hijikata let out a relieved sigh and gave his fellow guardsman a thankful glance.
Sougo gave him a sadistic grin and replaced Kagura's umbrella with his katana. "Now throw up that chocolate."
"Are you serious, what's wrong with you two brats? You've got plenty of food here!"
"It's not fair that you got to eat chocolate while the rest of us have to content ourselves with fruit yes?" The yato said while she stuffed her face with a barely peeled orange.
"Listen to China now, you don't want to offend a lady do you?" Sougo smirked
"You're the one that offended her in the first place; you're the one that stole the chocolate after she won it!"
Kagura took out a handkerchief and blew her nose in it, fake tears rolling down her cheeks. "It was so horrible, I felt so violated. He pressed me against the wall and threatened me with a knife to the throat." She gave him a quick glance, and acted anxious when she met his glaring eyes."He made me choose between my innocence and my chocolate."
"I have no further questions your honor." Sougo said nonchalantly.
"Oi, why did this turn in to a court case?"
Kagura slammed her umbrella in Hijikata's face three times. "Order, I want order in my court. You want the truth? - You can' handle the truth!"
"You're not making any sense! And why are you the judge, weren't you the victim?"
"No you're out-of-order!" Kagura yelled.
Sougo placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "What's the verdict?"
Kagura rubbed her chin. "Hijikata Toshiro, I sentence you to eternity of community service… and you have to throw up the chocolate to appease the victim."
Sougo nodded approvingly. "A fair ruling your honor… but instead of community service, I would suggest seppuku," he grinned, "he did threaten the victim's innocence".
"You're right counselor," Kagura slammed Hijikata and additional three times in the head. "Hijikata Toshiro, I sentence you to give back the chocolate by committing seppuku"
Sougo lifted up Hijikata from the ground and readied him. He tossed Hijikata's sword in front of him. "Whenever you're ready Hijikata-san, I'll cut your head clean off, so don't worry about a thing," he chirped.
Sweat started to appear on Hijikata's forehead. 'They're really serious about this' He sighed. "Ok, I'll throw up that damn chocolate, just stop this farce already!"
And so he did…
After the rather unpleasant court case; Hijikata ordered everyone to get their belongings from the beach and take them back to the cave. He'd noticed they had a clear vision of their previous camp through the trees; which in turn meant that they would be able to spot a rescue vessel (if one arrived).
As an added measure, they wrote SOS in large letters – using stones and parts of the ship – in the sand, and arranged a large bonfire next to it to further signal their presence. They all agreed the fire had to be kept alive during the night, so they would take turns guarding it throughout the hours of darkness.
It was still some time till nightfall, and the group decided to map out the islands surroundings.
Kondo – being the gorilla he was – climbed to the top of a tall tree and noted that the island wasn't particularly big; making it fairly plausible they'll be finish by sundown.
Kagura stayed behind to gather fruit; she could shoot down the fruit with her umbrella, making it fairly easy. Sougo ventured back to the beach to see if he could salvage anything from the wreckage, while the rest of the crew opted to explore the forest.
Sougo was the first one to arrive back.
"Did you find anything useful?" Kagura said while lounging near the fruit she'd gathered.
"I found Kondo's katana." The sword made a clunk as Sougo threw it down on the cave floor, "and a couple of blankets." He sat down and folded a blue one over his lap and gave Kagura a red one.
"Any sign of the others?" The yato draped the blanket around her feet.
He shook his head, "not where we crashed." He noticed Kagura's gloomy expression, "the others might find them… they could have crashed on the other side of the island."
It was Kagura's time to shake her head, "Sadaharu would have been here by now if they did. Maybe they hit the ocean, and a whale ate them." She sat up and looked at the beach trough the trees. "Maybe they're living inside the whale with Captain Ahab and Pinocchio."
"I think you're confusing Captain Ahab with Mister Geppetto," Sougo said lazily.
Kagura paid him no mind and continued, "It must be pretty cramped in there with everyone. I hope they take good care of Sadaharu."
"You don't have to worry about them, danna is strong enough to protect them, and Shinpachi is responsible enough to take care of your beast."
She turned to him and met his amber eyes, "you really think so?"
"I know so."
Kagura felt a little calmer and tried to give him a genuine smile, "if you think so, then I'll believe you."
He took his pocket watch out of his pants and looked at it. "It's time for my nap" he said and laid down. He was about to pull his eye mask over his eyes when he spoke again, "you're not so stupid after all China," and got a fist in the stomach.
Prince Hata was the last person to return. The others hadn't found anything useful, but the prince had dragged a large lobster-like creature with him; claiming it his new ('super-cute') pet. The creature was blue, as tall as a tree and had four pincers. He'd named it Lobsty – which Sougo and Kagura claimed to be a ridiculously bad and unimaginative name – and demanded to keep in the cave with him.
The cave was small to begin with, and there was no way that the entire group could fit, especially not with that creature taking up most of the space. Hata wouldn't yield and commanded them to follow his instructions. He tried to pet the lobster on one of its claws, but this made the animal run rampant. The group – except for Hata – had to forcefully stop the beast before it destroyed their entire campground.
Hata wept while they ate lobster that night.
After the feast, they had to decide the sleeping arrangements. There was enough space for four people to sleep inside the cave. That meant that someone had to sleep outside. Kagura got a place in the cave by default since she could die if she slept outside past dawn. Hata also got a place in the cave since it would be really difficult to explain his disappearance – to the king they so sorely needed help from – if something happened to him.
Another match of UNO settled the issue; Kondo, Katsura and Hijikata got to stay in the cave, while Sougo had to sleep outside. He tried to kill Hijikata on one of his solitary bathroom breaks, but he was fortunately rescued by Kondo . The sadist took both the blankets he'd found and made himself comfortable on the ground right outside the cave.
When that settled, they decided who should take turns on watching the fire. They agreed on three-hour shifts per person, and that Sougo didn't have to do it since had the worst sleeping arrangement of them all. It was therefore Hijikata, Kagura and Kondo (in that order) who would be in charge of the fire the first night, then Katsura, Hata and Sougo the following one.
Hijikata woke Kagura when his shift ended. She refused at first, but he dragged her out of the cave and down to the beach. He was about to throw her into the ocean waves when she finally gave up and opened her eyes.
She had a hard time keeping herself awake. The first hour went by excruciatingly slow.
Kagura used a stick to draw pictures in the sand to keep awake. The first thing she drew was a castle; it had high walls, a moat and a tower on each side. When she finished the castle, she started to draw a unicorn, it wounded up looking like Sadaharu with a horn in his forehead. She chuckled a little when she noticed the resemblance.
She then proceeded to draw a princess who looked like herself. She was wearing a puffy ball gown and a tiara. She started on the prince. She drew him next to her; he was taller, wore a cape and a proper crown. She had no particular face on the prince when she started out, but he slowly began to look like Sougo.
'What the hell is wrong with me?' Kagura thought when she finally noticed. She used her foot to wipe out the face - and just in time - before the owner of said face sat down beside her.
He yawned violently into his hand, "it was too cold in the forest," he explained. He looked over at her doodle; he raised a brow. "You bummed about Danna?"
"You know I'm not…"
"Then you're dreaming of becoming a princess? I'm sure Prince Baka would take you as a bride, he could keep you in his animal collection." He readied himself for a violent comeback in form of a punch or a kick; but Kagura just sat there in silence.
Sougo huffed "you alright China?" he poked her in the arm.
Kagura got a little startled by his touch, she glanced at him. "No, I never sought it... I was just thinking about Kamui."
"Oh" he looked into the fire, the dancing flames reflected in his eyes. "I'm sure they're able to stop him."
The yato shook her head. "They're not strong enough, especially if we don't stop the Harusame from reaching earth. But for us to do that, we would have to get out of here; wherever here is."
Sougo took out his pocket watch and studied it in the palm of his hand.
"Why do you keep that around, isn't it broken?" Kagura wondered.
He shrugged. "It was a gift from my sister; it was the last thing she gave me before she passed." He met her azure gaze, "It's a fair chance that we're on Royal Planet. I think we were pretty close when Katsura lost control of the vessel."
They both turned away and looked into the crackling fire.
"Let's hope so," she answered.
When Kagura woke again the following morning, she found herself lying beside the campfire. 'Shit! I overslept!' She sat up and looked around. 'Wait, why is the fire still going? And shouldn't the sun have killed me by now?" She looked up at the sky; but her eyes met by the purple inside of her umbrella; her feet covered by a red blanket. 'What's going on? Did the sadist do this?' She looked around for him, but she was alone on the beach.
She looked out on the ocean, 'Is that?' She rubbed her eyes, 'IT IS!'
Kagura grabbed her umbrella and ran to the others.
"Hey guys! There's a ship coming this way! We're being rescued, wake up!" she shook the four men inside the cave, "wake up! We're being rescued"
"Mom, you're being loud. Just give me five more minutes," one of the men said.
"DO I LOOK LIKE SOMEONES MOM! SERIOUSLY, WAKE UP, WE'RE BEING RESCUED DAMMIT!"
"Listen to your mother now," Sougo walked up beside her. He'd found his bazooka and was now carrying it on his shoulder. "You don't wanna be late for school do you?" he sent them flying out of the cave.
"Kagura-chan, I was so worried about you. Are you okay? Did the others treat you nicely?" Otae embraced Kagura tightly, almost suffocating her.
"I'm fine Anego, thank's for worrying." Otae loosened her grip when she noticed Kagura's face turning blue. "Are you all okay, is Sadaharu with you?"
Otae nodded, "he's with Prince Hata's parents. We were lucky and crash-landed near the capital with Jii, he sorted everything out."
"That's great Anego!" Kagura buried her face in Otae's chest. "Will they help us defeat the Harusame?"
"They will," Prince Gintoki said, "but I don't think you'll appreciate the terms of the agreement."
Oh no! What must Kagura do!?
