Chapter 7: Missed Calls

I leave the room, once again feeling Cecil's eyes on my back. I swear he is trying to be obvious. I walk down the hallway, back to the lobby. The receptionist I saw earlier has been replaced with a mannequin displaying the words 'coffee break.'

I push open the doors and cross the street, heading for the lab. It looks undisturbed, so I doubt anyone has come to tamper with my clock again, but I'll examine it to be sure.

I disassemble it again, this time taking a look at the hands first. They are still engraved, but each of them only displays one, tiny word.

As I dash to the microscope, clock hands in my own hand, I decide to install security cameras around the lab as soon as I possibly can. Someone, or something, has replaced my clock. The hands say, "Check your phone."

Should I be scared? Yes. Am I going to check my phone? Obviously. I pull it out of my pocket, feeling like the idiot in a horror movie who opens the creepy door. In swear, if it's Cecil who's playing with my clocks and leaving messages on my phone I will never speak to him again. But if it's crazy murderer strapping bombs to people like Moriarty did to–

John. I have two missed calls from John Watson. John Watson called me? Two times? But he…I'm going to be a mess by the end of this.

"Sherlock," the first one starts. "I…I'm calling you because…I don't know. I wanted to hear your voice…but you didn't…answer. Well of course you didn't answer. I just think if I call you and just imagine that you hear me…maybe you will somehow. I know you never believed in God, but I think you somehow have a phone in heaven and you're listening to me talk…

"I have a confession to make, Sherlock. I…I made a speech at your funeral. But…I don't think I said enough. I only talked about what a great scientist and detective and friend you were. I never said one thing about all the fights we had or the hearts you broke or your horrid rudeness. I didn't say about how you kept that head in the fridge. I almost did…but then I thought, 'Most of these people don't deserve it. These people never knew Sherlock like I do…did…they don't need to know about us.' But I did say how much I l-"

The message ends there. I feel tears beginning to come down my face. He wants me to listen to him, so I feel I must.

"Sorry Sherlock…I pressed the 'end' button when I was wiping my face," so he was crying already too. "I heard your answering machine…I can't believe that's all I'll ever hear you say again. 'You have reached Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective. Leave a message if you must, and don't be too boring.' But I haven't reached you, Sherlock, have I? It's not like you to lie to me.

"But Sherlock, after your funeral…before they buried you…I didn't believe that you were really dead. When the chapel was empty…your casket was just lying there. And it was a closed casket funeral…so I thought there might be a chance that you were alive and well in some other country and the casket was empty. So I ran to and opened the lid and… and you were in it. You with your black coat and your cheek bones and your scarf and your hair. I've seen plenty of dead bodies before in Afghanistan, but none of them broke my heart like yours did.

"And I have to tell you…I needed a piece of you…to have…so I…I took your scarf. It was a little wet with blood and salt water, but I took it. I just unwrapped it from your neck and hugged it. And I swear in that moment…we were infinite. You were there and you were hugging me back. I could smell you and we were so warm and innocent and…forever. You were there…until you weren't. I let go of the scarf…and you were gone…like a feather in the wind.

"I took your phone too…it said 'I AM LOCKED' It was Irene's phone. You never told me that you were using Irene's phone. I typed in 'SHER' but that was wrong. I don't think I'll ever figure out the pass code. I'm not a great detective like you are…were…I'm keeping it under the skull on the mantelpiece. Just in case.

"I put a pack of cigarettes in your pocket…to fill the space in your pocket. Maybe you can have a nice smoke in heaven. And since I took your scarf…I gave you my jumper. So you could take me with you.

"One more thing Sherlock…this is going to really scare you probably. But… you were lying there in your coffin, and there were just so many things I never said to you. So I…when I was putting my jumper under your head…was closer to you than I had ever been before. And I…I kissed you. Just for a second. Just to say goodbye…to say I meant every nice thing I ever said. To say thank you for everything you did for me. To say…to say I love you. And I truly do love you.

"I do, Sherlock Holmes.

"I do."