What should I do? Would it be right to visit? I can't visit; I have a whole thing going on that everyone knows I hate him! But still it must be mores serious then I thought he hasn't been to any of our morning classes. What was I thinking trying to salvage my own perfect record; I probably just shoved him into a worse situation. What if now he's got an infection and he's dying and it's all YOUR FAULT! Lily Evans dropped her spoon into her lunch soup with a large splash. Many onlookers in the great hall watched confused why she was rushing out so quickly.

She ran up the stairs and past her startled teachers flying to the hospital wing. Finally she got there and danced around for a second doing a last minute debate before setting her gaze and pushing the doors open.

" Where's James?" she demanded immediately scanning the beds. Madam Pomfrey bustled over to her shushing her in her wake.

" He's just been discharged, go look in your dormitory," she said and Lily whipped out with out as much as a muttered thanks. She ran quickly feeling her hair flipping around behind her. She hadn't been in any mood to do much other then brush it when she finally awoke.

Braking into the common room she dropped her bag and ran up the stairs to her right, she didn't care that there were several boys on every floor. Finally she reached the top and panting threw open the door.

" James?" she gasped quickly looking around, finally she spotted him frowning biting his tongue as he tried to knot his school tie. He looked up confused just as she threw her arms around him. This can't be good, what am I doing?

" Lily? What are you doing?" he asked forgetting about the red and gold tie to embrace her. She gave a deep sigh and reluctantly let go to look up into his eyes.

" I was so worried! You weren't there for morning classes and I-I'm so glad you're alright!" she felt like she was on auto pilot as her hands went up to hold his head and run her fingers through his hair. What the hell are you doing you stupid body disobeying me! MUST REGAIN CONTROL! Come on James do something stupid! No! Not that! James caringly wrapped his hands around her forearms.

" I'm fine, you shouldn't have been worried, it was just as you expected…just instead of one cracked rib it was like four," he grinned almost proudly. She sighed finally giving into to part of her mind. She let her arms drop as she looked down.

" I'm still sorry, I should have taken you right away, I shouldn't have been thinking of my own record," she sighed and flopped to sitting on his bed. He grinned and circled over to a floor length mirror in the corner. He started redoing the interrupted tying process.

" I said it was fine, I'm fine, you're definitely fine…sitting on my bed, never thought I'd see the day really," he grinned and she looked around before hopping off like it was on fire. Thank you! Decided to listen to me again?

" Well I was worried okay, I hurt you," she said crossing her arms and reinserting her walls of protection.

" Mmm, had nothing to do with caring about me," he said frowning as he squinted and undid the wonky tie again.

" No Potter, it was merely a feeling of guilt." She sighed and strode over to him slapping his hands away and taking his tie. She pulled it around her own neck and started tying.

" So why…yesterday wouldn't you let me take you to your bed?" she asked threading the silky fabric through itself.

" N-no reason…heh Remus usually does the tie for me and…" he shifted awkwardly. She looked up at him raising an eyebrow as she pulled the last time.

" There has to be a reason James, I'm surprised I mean I would have thought you'd be making as much noise as possible so your friends all woke up and saw a girl taking you to bed," she sighed and took the tie off herself. It would be typical James 'hey look she broke my rib she was being so rough heh heh' piggish wink. Disgusting.

" No, they-they need their sleep," he said sounding entire unlike himself. She paused before looping it over his head. Because that's notsuspicious.

" It sounds to me like you're embarrassed…but that can't be because you've been chasing after me, in front of them I might add, for years," she sighed putting the tie in place and putting his collar over it. She watched as he swallowed hard and she tightened the tie patting it in place. " Perfect!" she smiled and looked up at him quickly changing her facial expression. He sighed and looked in the mirror.

" Thanks," he sighed and looked really caught for a second seeming to have to choose between two directions. Finally he grinned at her arrogantly and pulled an arm around her.

" See aren't we a gorgeous couple? Can't you see it?" he asked and she rolled her eyes pushing him away. What just happened?

" What's going on here?" Lily whipped around to see Sirius Black leaning on the doorframe. " Am I interrupting something?" he asked with amusement sparkling in his eyes. He looked only to Potter for an answer.

" No, not much Evans was just you know giving me the old once over, making sure I'm fit to get back to work," he said sounding nothing like the person she'd spent the past few nights with. The person she enjoyed having with her, bickering with, resisting, fighting…loving. He's gone back to being that arrogant pig…must be whom he truly is, I almost had hope…

Sirius raised his eyes brows.

" Really now, wouldn't want to interrupt that," he grinned as Lily approached him.

" Out of my way Black," she said trying not to let him see how much James's sudden transformation affected her. When he was about to retort she drew her wand.

" Out. Of. My. Way." she said firmly letting him see the blazing heat in her eyes. Don't mess with me I am a girl on the verge of tears here! He let her pass but just before she was out of ears shot she heard laughter.

" Yeah, she's such a huge pain in the ass, don't worry Padfoot I'd never go there again," James sounded as disgusted as if he'd just been offered a place of worms.

I can't believe I let myself care.

Never again.


A/N: well this sucks, man I hate to bum myself out with my own story, but it's important

I won't leave you in this state of stress very long I'll probably post again shortly maybe even in a few hours

Thanks for all the reading and reviews!

Wit