Hello!
Thank you so much for the reviews!
Just wanted to give you guys a heads up; this story is almost over. Just two (or three, tops) chapters.
"Tired of living the high life already?" Neal joked as he leaned against the doorframe of their bedroom and watched Sara's back as she went through her drawers.
She didn't mean to sniff, or to give the tears the green light to fall freely down her face for that matter, but that's exactly what happened. She had been able to control her anger and fury, had been able to push the fear down to the bottom of the emotional pyramid, because she had to put her mind over matter. She had to do whatever she could to protect Neal and Mozzie.
But hearing his voice and its' playful tone just reminded her of how much she was forced to give up. It caused her anger to boil up again and for her helplessness to reach the top. It was bad enough that he was back, but why did he have to be back now? And here? And what did he want with Neal?
Neal heard the faltered breath that followed her sniff and he didn't need to see her face to know she was crying. He pushed himself off the doorframe and walked over to their bed, where one of Sara's bags was already half filled with her belongings.
"Sara?" It was impossible to miss the strained worry in his voice.
Finally, Sara stopped her frantic moving and bowed her head slightly, letting go of yet another heavy breath. She wiped her cheeks clean with the back of her hands and cleared her throat before turning sideways and facing Neal.
"Sara, what-?"
"Neal, I'm so sorry," her efforts in trying to keep her voice calm and controlled had been in vain, "I really messed up, he's back and I… I have to go."
Sara turned around to continue packing when Neal rushed over to her and spun her around. He put his hands on her upper arms and forced her eyes to meet his confused gaze. It took all he had to stay calm himself; he's never seen Sara this shaken up. This scared. This vulnerable.
It freaked him out.
"Sara, who's back? What happened?"
Finding comfort in his touch and a certain tranquility in his eyes, Sara drew a deep breath to steady her nerves. She let go of the breath while she put her hands over his arms and pulled him down with her to sit on the bed.
"I told you my sister ran away when I was 13?" A quick nod gave her the confirmation she needed to continue: "My parents died when I was 17 and suddenly I was alone in the world. All I wanted to do was find my sister and have family again. To not be alone. My search landed me in some wrong places and he got me out. His name is James Wilder and-"
"Wait," Neal stopped her suddenly, "thé James Wilder?"
"You know him?"
"Everybody knows him. He's scum, Sara, how on earth did you get involved with him?"
"Like I said, I got caught up with some bad people and he… he saved me, I guess. Or at least, that's what I thought. He told me he'd help me find my sister if I helped him out. I was his new partner in crime. He took me to all the fanciest gala's and parties you can imagine, where his mark would be at. After a while he got violent, though, or maybe he's always been and I was just too blind to see it. When I was about 19, I wanted out, but I knew he would never just let me go, so I thought of a way to use his own game plan against him. It worked, but he figured out I set him up and after a while he found me again," Sara paused as the memories brought back even more emotions that lumped up in her throat.
"What happened when he found you?" His voice was gentle but urgent. Though the curiosity in him was eager to find out the answer, there was something else overshadowing it. Fear, maybe? Or anger? Whatever happened back then, it wasn't good… Yes, he was definitely angry.
"I had him under gunshot, Neal, I could have killed him and it'd be self defense and the world would be free from him forever. But I couldn't."
"You were in love with him," Neal realized. Though it was a simple conclusion, the words' sour aftertaste made it sound like a betrayal.
"Yes." Sara admitted.
"Well, that explains a lot." Neal mumbled to himself, referring to her fiery bitterness towards him during their first few encounters.
Sara slumped her shoulders and tilted her head sideways, giving him the "Are you kidding me?" look.
Neal quickly shot her an apologetic look before worry took over his features again. "Why is he back? Wait, how did he find you in the first place?"
The memory of his voice hissing in her ear and his hands pressing her cheeks together, sent shivers down her spine. She remembers every little detail of the way he told her he'd been watching her all these years and she could almost feel her blood boiling with anger. At the same time, her heart raced with fear.
"He says he's been keeping tabs on me for the past ten years," she admitted somewhat embarrassed; she should have known, she should have suspected it! "Neal, I'm so sorry. Everything you and Mozzie have worked for, every careful and precise step and consideration… it's all for nothing. You're not save here anymore. After I leave, you have to move too. Don't let him follow you."
"What are you talking about, after you leave?"
"I have to go, Neal. As long as I'm around you, neither of you is safe. You don't know how dangerous he is."
"I know he is, and you're not going to face him alone, are you insane?"
"Neal-"
"No, Sara, that's out of the question," it was only when he was done speaking that Neal realized he had raised his voice. "Why is he back now?"
"I don't know," she shrugged and hoped Neal wouldn't notice how she reverted her eyes to the bed for a second.
"Well, he must have said something, he wouldn't just let you know he's been following you and let you come back home-" Neal stopped himself as his quick brain made the connection. "Wait," he started, "he went through the trouble of finding you and telling you that he could and then he lets you go home? To me… It's me he wants, isn't it? Or Mozzie?"
Sara didn't give him much to work with as she quickly got up from the bed and from underneath his scrutinizing gaze, but the quick tightening of her jaw and the ever so subtle popping of her eyes told Neal that he had guessed right.
"So, what is it that he wants exactly?" He was not going to give up and followed Sara to the space between their bed and the glass doors leading to the beach.
"I honestly don't know, Neal. What I do know is that the longer we stay here, the more in danger we are, so lets just pack up and leave, please?"
"Not until you tell me what he wants."
"He told me to get you back to the mainland, tonight. I don't know why."
"So, let's go. Find out what he wants."
"No! No way, you're not getting anywhere near him. He's too dangerous."
"Sara-"
"No! This is how he works. He doesn't hurt his marks, Neal… he hurts their loved ones. He won't stop at nothing. Please, promise me you won't go after him?" she waited for the stubbornness in his eyes to fade and when it didn't she pleaded again: "Please?"
"Fine, I won't go after him."
"Thank you," and when her worry faded, heartbreak crashed into her like a tidal wave as she realized what she had to do.
"You can't come after me, either…"
Maybe she should have waited? Maybe she shouldn't have broken up with him a few hours ago in their bedroom on Isle Corycian. Maybe she should have waited till they reached the airport in Zanzibar to tell him they had to part ways.
Because now here she was again; in a float plain with Mozzie flying it. Here she was again feeling sick to the core again - and just because of Mozzie's flying. Here she was again sitting in the seat next to Neal.
But this time he couldn't comfort her. This time he couldn't take her hand in his and smile at her reassuringly. This time she was alone. Again.
What seemed an eternity later, Sara praised the lord she didn't believe in, to finally have solid ground under her feet again.
The three of them walked over to the flight board in silence and Sara knew then, that she should have waited. The tension was unbearable. And it, too, was her fault. This whole damn mess was her fault.
"Call me crazy, but I'm sensing a certain level of… What's the right word for 'icy'?" Mozzie, walking in between Neal and Sara, was wise enough not to say anything during the flight, but couldn't stand the silence anymore.
"It's nothing."
"It's fine."
Their simultaneous, not so reassuring, replies only confirmed Mozzie's suspicions.
"There it is: Mumbai, next flight leaves in an hour."
"My flight leaves in two hours." Sara said dryly, her eyes never leaving the board.
At this, Mozzie gave her a surprised look, somewhat expecting Sara to admit to her joke. When she didn't, however, Mozzie took another look at the board.
"Cairo? You know, Egypt is very overrated. All they have is the 'mystery of the pyramids'" he used quotation marks to go along with his mocking tone, "but, I suppose I could make some calls. We could-
"Mozzie," Sara stopped him, "I'm going to Cairo alone."
Before Mozzie could give voice to his confusion, Neal took two steps towards her. "This is it then?"
Sara gave a slight nod, swallowing hard. "It's for the best."
"I think I forgot… hmph," Mozzie mumbled an excuse as he turned and walked away, giving them the privacy they needed.
"You don't have to do this alone, Sara. We can beat him together."
"How?"
"We'll contact Peter, put James on his radar, let the feds deal with him."
Sara shook her head firmly, "No, I'm not involving more people into this. It's bad enough he knows about you and Mozzie, I can't involve Peter too."
"He probably already knows about him."
"I'm hoping he's bluffing."
"What if he's not?"
"I don't know, but I have to figure this out on my own."
"Please, let's just-"
"No, Neal, you don't understand," she sounded desperate and in any other situation she would have cursed herself for it, but it didn't matter this time; if that's what it took to make him understand the gravity of this situation, she would beg if she had to, "you're not safe as long as you're with me, please understand."
He just looked at her, trying to read the emotions he could recognize in her eyes and hoping there was enough doubt for him to play off of, but all he could find was determination.
"You know," he started, "I was being selfish when I asked you to run away with me," he admitted, leaving the request for her to do the same, unspoken, but apparent in his pleading eyes.
The look she gave him was one of affection, desperate to be given in to and its' familiarity almost made her feel calm again. "I am being selfish, Neal," she said softly, answering his silent request, "I couldn't live through knowing I was responsible if something happened to you."
She never knew her feelings for Neal had grown this much in the two months they spent on the island. It surprised her as much as realizing he probably felt the same. This could have worked. They could really have ended up together.
Knowing that they now, never could, felt like her throat was on fire
"Please, take care of yourself," she pleaded, "I…" her voice died off as her eyes searched for a reassurance the floor could not offer. When she looked up again, her lips found his in a kiss they knew would be their last.
I'm not happy with this chapter either. I must have reconsidered and rewritten everything like five times, but I seem to have lost my inspiration :( I just hope that it's not a complete turn off.
Would love to hear your thoughts!
Soph
