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Basics: Buffy died and came back. Basically season 6 plot, but ya know…not. Spike's fucking Buffy, but he's not in it for the love. Dawn knows about the sex. She's also been messing around with drugs, cutting, and sex.

Okay, in this chapter it's a little confusing. It's not Dawn's point of view, its Spike's. And this goes before the whole Bronze scene. This starts right after he put Dawn in her bed and has sex with Buffy. So, just remember this as you read it. Thank you.


Chapter 7

He woke up to the smell of blood. Innocent, yet tainted blood. The amount that hit his nose astounded him. It was powerful and near knocked him over, if he was sitting up. His face changed automatically, shifting into his vampire facade. The blood kept on getting stronger and he felt the demon inside of him rage. Spike tried to ignore it; tried to suppress the way the blood called to him, but it didn't work.

Putting on a pair of pants, he left them unbutton and unzipped. He didn't bother putting on a shirt or a blanket over his body since all the windows were permanently covered. Between the niblet and Buffy, he found ways to persuade them into the dark.

All of a sudden, he swore he heard something fall. It sounded like it hit the ground with a big thump. But being scorched by the sun and all, he couldn't look outside. He sure it was just nothing. Maybe a bird was shot and fell to the ground. He shrugged, really not caring.

Walking into the bathroom, deciding to take a shower, he turned the water on hot. Not that it mattered what the temperature was, he just enjoyed taking all the hot water from the birds and he also liked how the mirrors got so steamy. He stepped into the tub and tried to let the water wash away his blood problem. But he suddenly felt his demon affected more. He smelt more blood. Damn the nibblet and her monthlies, he thought once he remembered the incident of last night. He threw his body into the stream and watched as his skin did not get pink, but pruned. And as he got out of the shower, his faced shifted into its demonic visage. His nostrils flared and, yet again, he smelt blood and it seemed too strongto be monthly blood. So, he followed his nose which led him under the cabinet and to...a dirty rag?

He fumed at himself once he found it was a used towel. He must really be losing his bloody mind. But the stench was still coming strong, so he decided to sniff it. And when he did, he was thrown in a world of knowing, yet not knowing. This towel was soaked clean through with blood. And it wasn't the slayer's blood because it smelled too powerful. Too strong. And there could only be one possible way. One fucking possible way. Besides, why would the slayer hide a dirty rag? She wouldn't. But someone would...if they wanted to hide it.

He ran into her bedroom, about to yell, scream, and fight. She had no clue what she was messing with. She was stupid and immature and-presently not in her room. But the stench of blood still was still there. He was shaking. He ripped her black sheets from her bed, leaving shreds in his hand. He tossed them on the ground once he saw all the knives and razors everywhere. And he could imagine her, sitting in the corner slicing through her own flesh through tears that couldn't cease to fall. He shuddered. Spike took all the sharp objects he found, which was easy because all of them were tinted with her blood, and put them in a big bag. He wanted to burn them all. Just torch them for being an assist in help of Dawn falling. They were bad enough. And he couldn't stay here. It was killing him. So, he took the sheets, placing them over his head, and ran through the house to the back door, bag in hand. And he opened the door and he could still smell her. It was like he couldn't get away from it. Like it was mocking him for not catching it sooner. So he ran. Fast. Into the sewer for the sun was just overhead and it was hot.

He wished he never knew. He wished he never fucking knew anything. About Dawn or her little extracurricular habit. He damned himself for waking up. But then he would have never noticed about Dawn's falling. But it was all too strong. These emotions. He's never felt this pain in his chest that hurts constantly. He tries to breathe through it, but he's forgotten how. The bleached vampire hasn't breathed in a while. It's a wonder why dust doesn't come out of his lungs at the very thought. And he doesn't understand why she did it. Does it. But it's not that he's never done it before. Because there used to be a time that there wasn't an open gash on his pale body. But that was years ago. Decades even. He thought the whole masochist era died off around the early 1900's. But he was wrong. Because here he was, pacing and fucking fretting, over a girl who hurts herself and he doesn't know why. And he doesn't know what kills him more: finding out or not knowing why she did it. Why she needed to take a strip a metal and take a bite out of her flesh with it. He never knew she got that bad.

He was rash, he figures. All he did was smell the blood in her room. That's all he convicted her of, so far. But he could have sworn he smelled marijuana. But he doesn't know now. He can faintly remember the way her sheets smelled of Jack Daniels and flesh. But...maybe he doesn't want to know.

But maybe he does.

And he remember going into her room last night and knowing something was wrong with her. Said he was going to figure it out. Well he found out and now he's not so sure that he wanted to know. Because there was thirty more minutes 'til sunset and he felt like an animal in a cage. He just wanted to go. And scream at her. Yell at her. Because it's her fault he feels like this. If she wasn't so bloody immature, he'd still be with Buffy right now and shagging her brains out.

Humans were right when they said it-Ignorance is bliss.

Because who wants to know how their hotdogs are made or how an abortion works. Or what Dawn does to herself.

And he wonders why no one saw it. There are three other scoobies, not including him or Buffy. Willow would watch her after school at the Magic Shop and Xander would babysit her when they went out on patrol. Hell, Tara could basically read minds since she was so bloody aware of everyone and their soundings and she would even take Dawn on "dates". Actually, Buffy set up the dates as some sort of counseling where Tara would listen to Dawn and report back to Buffy. Tara had been saying that Dawn was well-rounded. But it seemed like everyone had too many problems on their mind and looked over her. He sure did.

And he can feel the sun go down. It's almost faded into the horizon now. And he can't fucking stand it any longer. He needs to kill. Because he feels something in between his muscles and his bones and his flesh. It's his dead veins. And they're calling to be let lose. He can feel his whole body just ready to fight. So he walks out of his crypt and his flesh stings with the last rays of the sun. But it doesn't matter. He needs to move around. Walk off some of this bloody anger. Because he's fuming with Dawn now. Worry has passed. And it's move on to she should have know better. "She could have come to me or Buffy or to me. So she had no reason to do what she's doing" he thought to himself. She had no reason to play God.

He spots one. It's new and stupid and it's exactly what he needs. Taking his fist, he punches the new fledging into unconsciousness. The vampire, if you could even call him that, lands on the ground with a thud. Spike straddles him and starts laying his madness on him. Punching him. Making he bleed. Because maybe if he has enough blood shed, Dawn will be happy and won't need to shed hers anymore. Because maybe that's what she wants. Blood. So he's all about blood now. Because that's what she's about. Spike takes his hand and shoves it through the vampire's chest, ripping his heart out as his hand comes back out. The vampire turns to dust and Spike's body falls to the ground. He reckons everything falls. Right?

So, he goes to The Bronze because she couldn't be anywhere else. Well, she could be over at that boy's house that reeked of pot and beer. But that will be the last resort. To go there.

Walking into the door, he realizes he has nothing to say. He didn't plan it out. He had five soddin' hours and didn't think of anything. He really wishes he didn't fuck this up. Maybe he really didn't have a case. Maybe he should calm down.

But then again, maybe not. Because he sees her with her little friends and she's having a great ol' time. She's writhing and twisting with her little girl friend. And they're dancing like it's the end of the world and he almost graces a smile because this is the first time, in a while, that she seems to be having fun. But then he remembers everything and his lips turn into a sneer and he walks off to get a drink. He's going to need a drink. Hell, he's going to need many.

He ordered a scotch and winked to the girl at the counter. She fluttered her eyelashes and he gave her a grin. The girl told him that the drink was on the house. Spike nodded and flashed another swoon-worthy smile. It was always the trick.

Going back to his dark corner, he stared at her. She looked so pale and weak. He could hear her heartbeat; it was slower than the others in the room. He watched as she sauntered over to her little boy friend who gave her a present. He gave her a bottle full of water. How fucking sweet. And now she's dancing with her girl friend again and they're looking pretty close with their eyes all cloudy and dilated. And then it happens. His mind can't get around it. So he walks out into the alley way, and starts hitting the brick.

Her pink tongue darts out of her mouth and licks her dried lips. She stares into chocolate brown eyes and chocolate brown eyes stare into hers.

He balls up his fists and throws them at the wall. Some pieces of the old brick come flying back at him.

And suddenly, she presses her lips against the other lips and they're both nipping and sucking on flesh. Soon, they're both battling in dominance of their tongues.

And he can't give it out of his head.

She moans and throws her head back. And takes a hold of chocolate brown eyes and crashes her body into hers, grinding as doing so.

He takes his heavy boot and kicks the wall. The force is so strong that he hears the small bones in his foot crack. The pain radiates up his body and he decided to walk it off.

Coming back into the alley, he heard the desperate pleas of two lovers.

"No. Just want you in me" he heard softly. He heard unzipping and panting and moaning and lips smacking together.
"You taste good." He can see them clearly now, a boy and a girl. The girl is writhing underneath the boy who has her pinned to the wall. They're necking. "Ah, this wanker's gonna get some" he thought to himself smugly.

"Wait a minute," he thinks"that voice sounded like..." And it is. He sees her head thrown back, moaning for him. And he sees her sliding down his pants and him sliding down her pants and him...

"What the fucking hell?" he screams, ending his shock.

He stares at the two, unneeded breathes coming in gasps. His vein on the side of his neck bulges. And it's all about vengeance now. He takes the boy by neck and throws him off, letting the ground knock him unconscious. His head feels like it's going to burst; the chip doing its job. He looks straight at Dawn, watching her nervously pull up her pants. He grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her away from the wall. He heard her begging for him to stop and that it hurt (and doing so made his brain twinge). He threw her against the garbage can and he gritted his teeth to get over the pain.

"Now, you're going to shut the fuck up," he stated to hush her stupid words. He held his hands up and backed away.
"And you're going to answer every bloody question I ask."


Okay, so this leaves you basically right where you started in the last chapter. Sorry for that. I needed Spike's difficultness and non-understanding and desperateness of it all. I'm also sorry for all the big paragraphs. : I tried to get all of your concerns or comments or whatever in this chapter. As in what happened to the scoobies. The Used song will hopefull be comming up next as so will what her relationship with Matt is.

I hope you liked this chapter. And thanks for all your awesome reviews. I'm really enjoying reading what you think about the story.
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