Nasir was subdued all through the meal, he ate nothing of the food provided, pushing it around the plate instead and glaring at it as if it had somehow caused great offence. Agron waited patiently for him to give his thoughts voice but when, after some time, no voice came he took the plate from his hands, placed it upon the ground and said.
"You yet bear a burden." Noting, with a deep creasing of his brow, the slope of the Syrian's shoulders and his unusually sullen expression he added. "A different burden." Nasir made no reply. "Speak, and see it's weight lifted."
Nasir exhaled deeply and silently cast his dark eyes over the many people who had gathered in their small groups to eat before asking timidly.
"Did everyone see?"
At first Agron did not understand the question.
"See what?" He asked.
Nasir bit his lip and whispered.
"Me… Sedullus." He spoke the name quietly, with a tremor in his voice, cheeks colouring a shade of deep crimson. "Did they see?"
Now the meaning was clear but Agron did not know what answer he should give. It was likely the truth would only hurt Nasir further and he had already borne more pain than one man should ever have to endure in a lifetime. And yet he could not bring himself to lie. He could hope only to dissuade the question in some way.
"Why do you ask?"
"They look at me differently." He said, gesturing towards the people that came and went. "I feel their eyes upon me when I pass but when I look to see who is watching they avert their gaze and feign idle conversation where once they would have greeted me by name with a slap on the back and a smile upon their lips."
The gladiator stared down at the dirt.
"What good will come from knowing?"
A small shrug.
"Likely none. Yet I would know anyway. The truth Agron, no coddling. Did they see?"
With a heavy sigh Agron placed his own plate on the ground beside Nasir's and took the younger man's hand in his, squeezing it gently.
"The truth." He said with a shallow nod, understanding Nasir's need to hear it, no matter how painful it might be but wishing he did not have to be the one to say it. "I can speak for certain only of what I was witness to but… there was much commotion and much blood in the aftermath. It is likely that many found their attentions drawn to it."
Fresh tears rose in Nasir's eyes and he hung his head so that Agron would not see.
"And those who were not witness have no doubt heard of it by now." It was as he had feared. He murmured miserably. "My shame is known to all."
Once more Agron felt that same wrench deep within his chest that came each time Nasir's pain made itself so apparent as to be almost a living breathing thing and not for the first time he wished that Sedullus yet drew breath so that he may once again rob him of it.
"Nasir." He said, taking the Syrian's other hand in his. "You have no cause to feel shame. You have done nothing wrong."
Nasir snorted, unconvinced, avoiding the gladiator's gaze.
"Then why do the God's seek to punish me?" Agron had no answer for that. "They must have good cause. There must be some thing that I have done to make me deserving of… this."
The gladiator shook his head.
"You hold no blame in this. What was done to you was not your will, nor was it your fault."
"But I did not stop him." He snatched his hands away and stood up, kicking the plates at his feet in frustrated anger as the tears he had been fighting to contain, spilled down his cheeks. "I could not stop him."
"And Naevia could not stop the men who forced her." Agron rose to his feet and placed a gentle hand on Nasir's shoulder. "Would you place blame at her feet for what was done to her?"
Nasir turned to look at him, his eyes wide.
"I could never do that. But it is not the same. Naevia was enslaved, kept in chains, the men who would abuse her were many and powerful. There was no hope that she could have stopped them. Sedullus was but one man. I should have…"
Agron cut him off before he could finish.
"One man, but with the strength of many and the soul of none." He cupped Nasir's face brushing the pad of his thumb over the still damp skin. "You could not have foreseen what he would do, and you could not have known to guard against it. No one could. If he had set his sights to another in the same fashion, me perhaps, I do not think even I could have stopped him easily… if at all. And I know you would not think less of me had that been the case, so please, do not think it of yourself."
Nasir was still. Agron's hand remained upon his cheek and his gaze still held him firmly. He could not turn from it, and he did not want to. Those blue eyes were as an anchor, they steadied him, kept him from drifting with the tide of his emotions and becoming lost to his own doubts and fears.
With a last choked sob and a shuddering breath he stepped into the gladiators arms and laid his head against his chest.
"How is it that you always know what words I need to hear even before I know them myself?"
"There is no secret to it." Agron answered, letting his arms close around the other man and pressing a tender kiss to the top of his head. "I simply speak the truth. That is all."
They remained within their embrace for some moments before Agron reluctantly broke it.
"Come." He said, taking a step back. "Let us find more food. Ours appears to have been consigned to the dirt."
He offered a small chuckle which Nasir returned then took the smaller mans hand in his and turned to lead him to the table.
"Agron." The Syrian called before barely a step had been taken. The gladiator turned back and Nasir murmured softly. "I will get better. I will."
Despite the soft tone, there was hint of strength in the other man's voice that warmed Agron to hear. He smiled at Nasir and answered simply.
"I know."
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