I Want More

Dr. Hunt popped his head into the intern locker room, "We're short staffed tonight, who wants to stay and pick up an extra shift?" he glanced around at the tired faces. Stephanie's hand shot up immediately, and not to be outdone Shane eagerly agreed to stay too.

"Come on, Jo," Steph urged, "Think about all the gory, bloody stuff we could see tonight; after all it's Halloween, people get crazy."

Jo shook her head and continued changing into her street clothes, "I can't. I'm taking Katie trick-or-treating."

"Oh no, come on, she's what, two? She won't know the difference," Stephanie argued.

"No," Jo reiterated firmly, "I'm not going to be the mother that makes promises to my kid and then backs out. I'm not going to choose work over her."

"Fine, but it's your loss." Jo watched as the other interns filed out of the room. She tossed her scrubs in the hamper, grabbed her bag, and left, turning towards the daycare. She would love to get the extra hours in the ER and hopefully the OR, but not at the expense of her daughter. Katie would always come first in her life, before work, before friends, even before herself.

"Hey, are you about ready?" Callie asked as Jo approached. The two women were taking their daughters out together for Halloween.

"Yeah, just let me grab Katie. Our stuff is in my car. Did you want to meet at your place to get ready… Or?"

"Actually, why don't we go over to your apartment? I don't think Arizona would be up for company," Callie wrinkled up her nose shaking her head. "I've got our costumes here," she indicated the large bag slung over her arm.

"Ok, sounds good," Jo shrugged.

Callie looked around the tiny apartment as she followed Jo in, "It's not much…" Jo commented.

"No, it's nice, cozy," Callie complimented.

It was no easy task getting the two toddlers ready for their big night of trick-or-treating. They picked up playing together right where they had left off at the daycare. The girls got along famously. Jo and Callie sat back laughing and snapping pictures as they watched them getting into all of Katie's toys. Finally, they broke them up long enough to dress them.

"Sofia, you are a beautiful Cinderella," Jo exclaimed smiling at the girl on her mother's hip.

"And, what about her fairy godmother?" Callie posed.

"Of course, beautiful as always," the women laughed.

Katie had chosen costumes for herself and her mom. She was snug in a Winnie the Pooh costume complete with a honey jar for her candy bucket, and she had insisted that Jo be Tigger. Jo's costume consisted of black leggings, an orange tiger striped sweatshirt that had a hood with tiger ears, and a tiger tail.

The foursome hopped in Callie's car and were on their way. Callie took them to a nice neighborhood and parked in front of a house with multiple other cars. "Some of the other parents from the hospital were meeting here to go trick-or-treating together," she explained at Jo's questioning look. "I hope that's ok? It came up kind of suddenly. I didn't think you would mind going in a larger group."

"No, no, it's fine; it's okay," Jo assured her, although on the inside anxiety was gnawing at her. She knew Callie, and she liked her; they had formed a bond and a friendship, but she wasn't so sure about hanging out with the others, the other attendings she was sure.

Despite her discomfort, Jo enjoyed watching the kids. She hung towards the back of the group and tried to blend in. It was hard though, considering Katie was the cutest kid in the bunch, at least that was Jo's humble opinion. After hitting all of the houses in the neighborhood, they returned to their starting point for cupcakes and punch.

As her bosses were standing around talking and laughing amongst themselves, Jo's anxiety began to bubble up inside of her again. She glanced at Katie, seeing that she was playing happily with the other kids, Jo escaped to the kitchen. She splayed her hands out flat against the bar and leaned over taking a few deep breaths to calm herself. How did she end up here at a party with no one she really knew except for Callie. Sure she had seen them around the hospital and worked with several of them, but she didn't know them and besides, they were her bosses.

She jumped when a deep voice behind her said, "You make a hot tiger, but wouldn't a princess be more appropriate?"

She spun around to find Alex Karev smirking at her, "Shut up, jerk. My daughter picked this costume out, and I'm not a tiger, I'm Tigger," she retorted haughtily. "What are you doing here anyway? You don't have kids."

"I live here. What are you doing hiding in the kitchen?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"You live here? But I thought… So why is.." she stuttered confused.

"Mer wanted to have her little Halloween thing here cause she lives out in the middle of nowhere and she needed houses to take the kids begging for candy to," he explained dismissively, "but you didn't answer why you're in here and not out there with everyone else," he pointed into the living room.

"I can't. I can't be in there with them. They're all… and I don't… They're my bosses," she finally spit out flustered.

He shrugged, "So am I."

"It's different with you and with Callie. I can talk to you. I don't know what to say to them, and they all look at me like I'm an intern," she cracked a self-deprecating smile at how stupid she sounded. Of course they looked at her that way; that's what she was. She held up her hand to stop him before he could even get a word out, "Which is what I am, I know, but outside the hospital it's different."

He nodded once and handed her a bottle of water from the fridge. They stood in the kitchen in silence picking at the food, as the party started to wind down. "You never did come over to watch Gone in 60 Seconds," he casually threw out there glancing over at her from the corner of his eye.

"Well, I'm here now," she replied turning to face him, "and I don't have to work tomorrow."

"As luck would have it, neither do I," he flashed her a half smile.

Callie poked her head in the kitchen, "Jo, let's go. The girls are getting tired."

"Um, actually I'm gonna hang here with Alex for a bit. We're gonna watch a movie," Jo told her.

Callie's eyes widened in surprise, "Are you sure you wanna do that?" she hissed quietly to the younger woman, side eyeing Alex. Callie dragged Jo into the other room. "What are you doing? That's Alex Karev!"

Jo shrugged, "So what? It's a movie, no big deal." Callie gave her a concerned look. "I'll be fine. He'll take us home later. Don't worry about it."

"Fine, but call me later."

Alex rolled his eyes when Jo walked back into the kitchen, "What does she think, I'm gonna attack you or something?" he snorted.

"Don't be a jerk," Jo sassed, "she's just looking out for a friend. You don't have the best reputation ya know?" He ignored her and walked away to get the movie set up.

"Dr. Awex," Jo heard Katie squeal from the other room.

She peeked in to see him ruffle the little girl's hair, "Hey, Katydid."

At last, Jo followed him, "Let me go wash this stuff off my face before we start," she indicated the orange face paint she had used.

"Sure, I'll grab you a towel," he went upstairs and laid out a couple towels and a pair of his sweatpants and tshirt in case she wanted to get more comfortable.

Jo smiled at the gesture when she got into the bathroom. She washed her face and then plopped Katie in the tub for a quick bath. Alex was grabbing some chips and popping popcorn when he heard Katie's giggles drift down the stairs. He paused and listened with a wistful smile. He had messed around a lot with a lot of women and had decided settling down wasn't for him. He felt like he had lost his chance, but hearing the sound of a child in his house really made him stop and think.

Jo slipped Alex's shirt over her head and stepped into his sweats rolling the waistband down two times. She redressed Katie in the onesie she had on under her Pooh costume and went downstairs to find Alex. He was standing by the microwave staring off into space. Jo hurried past him and opened the microwave door allowing the smoke from the burnt popcorn to pour out.

Alex shook the thoughts from his head, what was he thinking? No way. "Do you, uh, do you want some pizza?" he grabbed the phone.

Jo gave him a weird look, "No, but I will take that beer." He moved to the fridge to grab it. "Are you okay?" she asked concern written on her features.

"Uh yeah, I'm fine. Just got distracted." He opened another packet of popcorn. "Let's try this again."

They sat in the living room talking while Jo got Katie to sleep, which didn't take long after her busy day. "You don't have any furniture," Jo noted looking around.

"Nah, never felt like going out to buy it, besides no furniture means people don't hang around. You saw how quickly the party wrapped up." Jo smirked at his response, how very Alex Karev, or at least who she had come to know him as.

They settled in with their beer and Katie's candy to watch the movie. After one particularly loud outburst, Alex looked over with an apologetic look to where Katie slept peacefully. With a wave of her hand Jo said, "Don't worry about it. She could sleep through anything."

The next morning, Jo got up and went to the kitchen in search of a drink of water or some juice or something. She looked in cupboard after cupboard without any luck. There wasn't a cup, bowl, or plate anywhere. No pots and pans and no silverware. She stood up and whipped around coming face to face with Cristina Yang. "Uh.. Dr. Yang.. What are.?. You.. Uh, you live here?" she stammered.

"Yes, I do. And you're wasting your time. There are no dishes," she grabbed a box of cereal off the top of the refrigerator and walked out, down the hall and out the front door. Jo stood frozen in the kitchen gaping after her.

When she finally came to, she hurried upstairs. She didn't want Katie waking up in a strange place alone. She sat down on the edge of the bed and Katie stirred. The little girl sat up, "Mama," she looked at Jo with wide glassy eyes.

Jo reached out for her and immediately noticed her flushed face. "Oh no, not again," she muttered feeling the girl's hot forehead. She rummaged through the medicine cabinet in the bathroom moving bottles of cologne and aftershave, cans of shaving cream and sticks of deodorant, scattering condoms across the counter, "Of course he doesn't have a thermometer; he doesn't have dishes or furniture," she rolled her eyes.

Leaving the mess, she carried Katie downstairs. "Alex, Alex," she nudged him with her foot. He shifted in his sleep, but didn't wake up. "Alex! Dammit! Don't make me steal your car, because I will." She raised her voice, desperate to wake him up.

Slowly her words worked their way into his sleep fogged mind. He rubbed his face, scratched his head, and slowly blinked his eyes open. He had an 'Oh shit' moment when he saw Jo standing before him with Katie clutched to her chest. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could form the words his mind cleared from the haze of sleep and he remembered the night before. How one movie turned into two and then three, and the same happened with the beers. And when it was time to take Jo home they were both too buzzed to drive. Although, he couldn't deny the feeling that passed through him at seeing her standing there wearing his clothes. He sat up and concentrated on what she was saying to him.

"She has a fever again. It's been two weeks, and she has a fever again. I don't know how high because you don't have a thermometer. And, and you don't have plates or cups or, or furniture. Gah, Alex who lives like this?" her voice was laced with tears and she was rambling like he had come to learn she always did when she was scared or anxious.

"Jo, calm down," he commanded gently. He stood up and looked Katie over feeling her warm skin. "Get your things together; we're taking her to the hospital, and I'm going to find answers."

They swung by Jo's apartment so she could change and pack a bag for her and Katie and then went to the hospital. Alex had Katie directly admitted into a room, bypassing the ER. He ordered a full work up on the girl. He was determined to find out what was causing Katie's fevers.

Alex wandered down to the cafeteria to grab something to eat while he waited for Katie's test results to come back. They had left in such a hurry he hadn't eaten anything. He approached the table Meredith and Cristina were sitting at to hear, "Evil Spawn was crashed out on the floor with some stuffed bear for a pillow, and in his room asleep in his bed were Hairball and Mini Hairball," Cristina gave Meredith a triumphant look before taking a big bite of her apple. "I told you 'grown up' Alex was a fluke and he would be back to sleeping his way through the hospital before we knew it."

"No, I don't think so," Meredith argued, sticking up for her friend.

"I saw what I saw," Cristina countered, "I just can't figure out why the mini was there."

Alex slammed his tray down on the table and glared at Cristina as he sat down. "We watched movies, it got late, so she stayed over. In my bed while I slept downstairs. It was nothing," he ground out through clenched teeth.

"Hmm, too bad. Maybe it should have been something; you're awfully tense," Yang cackled patting him on the shoulder as she walked away.

"Don't listen to her Alex," Meredith said.

"I don't. Ever." Meredith laughed as she got up from the table.

Alex spent the afternoon researching a cause for Katie's fevers. Her test results all came back normal again with the exception of an inflammatory response that they already knew she was having. Finally, he stumbled upon something. It could fit without the symptoms. Katie's only symptom was the fever, but what if the other symptoms just weren't manifesting themselves in her.

He learned all he could about the syndrome, and then he called Dr. Robbins, "Arizona, I know you're not back to work yet, but I've got this case I wanted to go over with you. What do you know about PFAPA?"

When he was convinced of his diagnosis, Alex entered Katie's room. Jo was pacing the floor frustrated. She had piles of books and journals strewn around the room. "Put the books away, Jo," Alex instructed.

"I'm a doctor; how do I not know what's wrong with my own kid?" she asked her voice cracking.

He walked over to her reaching for her arm and stopping her movement. He looked into her eyes, "You're a great doctor, but you're her mother. Your mommy instincts or hormones or whatever kick in and overshadow your doctor instincts, besides we were all stumped. She has doctors; she's got me and now Robbins. She needs you to be her mother."

Jo took a shaky breath, "Wait, were, you said we were stumped. Does that mean..?"

"I figured it out," he confirmed.

"And you called Dr. Robbins? It's bad isn't it?" she started to break down.

"Shh, no, no, it's not bad," he soothed rubbing her back. "Jo, pull it together so you can listen to me." She sniffled a couple of times and wiped her eyes then nodded for him to continue. He led her to the bed and sat her down next to her daughter. "Katie has PFAPA syndrome, periodic fevers with aphthous stomatitis, pharyngitis, and adenitis. It's a periodic fever syndrome that typically manifests between ages 2 and 5 and is characterized by febrile episodes lasting 3 to 6 days, sore throat, ulcers in the mouth, and swollen lymph nodes," he held up his hand to stop Jo's argument, "I know she doesn't have any of the other symptoms yet, but I think this is what it is, and so does Robbins. That's why I called her. The fevers typically recur every 28 days, unless treated with steroids. After steroids the fever usually returns sooner, just like we have seen Katie's do."

Jo took in everything he said and let it sink in, mulling it over in her brain, "So what do we do?" she asked.

"Well, most kids tend to outgrow the syndrome with no long term problems, but that can be years. We can continue to treat the fevers with corticosteroids. Cimetidine interrupts fever attacks in about a quarter of kids. The other thing they have found recently, and there is no good explanation for it, is performing a tonsillectomy. They are still doing research on it, but it appears to be showing a marked improvement in many children," Alex explained the options.

Jo nodded, "How did she get this? I mean, what causes it?"

"They're not really sure," he answered.

"So, what do you suggest?" she asked. She felt all alone with this decision about her child's health looming in front of her.

"You know I can't make this decision for you," Alex said with compassion.

"I know."

"You've got time, Jo. We can give her steroids now to bring the fever down. You can think about it," he offered.

"No," she stopped him before he left the room. "I mean yes, go ahead and give her the steroid. But I know what I want. I want you to do the tonsillectomy. I just want her better. I don't want to keep doing this every few weeks for who knows how long."

He nodded, "Alright, I'll get it scheduled. It'll probably be first thing tomorrow morning." He turned to leave and then stopped in the doorway, "For the record, I think you made the right choice."

She gave him a brief smile of thanks before he walked away. She snatched up a tablet she had borrowed from the nurses station and did some research of her own. It became clear to her that if Katie had had any other symptoms it would have made it much easier to diagnose. As it was, she was impressed Alex hadn't dismissed PFAPA syndrome and once again just sent her home with no answers. She felt confident in his diagnosis.

Alex stopped by to see Katie and Jo before he left for the night. He watched as Jo read Katie a bedtime story, rocked her to sleep, and tucked her in. She gave a small wave when she looked up and caught him staring at them, "Hey."

"Hey," he said quietly slipping into the room, "How's she doing?"

"Good," Jo smiled down at her daughter.

"And you? How are you doing?"

She chuckled, "I'm a nervous wreck. That's my baby you're gonna have on your table tomorrow."

"Yeah, I know, good thing you've got the best working on her," he said with a cocky smirk.

"That's the only thing holding me together," she responded seriously. "It's a simple, routine surgery, until it's your kid, ya know."

"She'll do great," he comforted putting a gentle hand on Jo's shoulder. They stayed in companionable silence for a bit. "You're amazing, Jo. How did you do it? How do you do it? Taking care of her, getting through school, working, making every damn decision by yourself. It must be hard."

Jo blew out a breath, "I didn't.. don't, have a choice. I just get up every day and face what's handed to me. I can't look too far ahead or I will drown. It is hard, but it's worth it. She's a great kid and I wouldn't change my life right now for anything."

Alex shook his head, admiration shining in his eyes, "We need more parents like you." He stood up to go, "I better get outta here. Big surgery in the morning."

He ran into Meredith as he was leaving. "Hey, you're still here? I thought it was your day off," she said falling into step with him.

"Yeah I'm taking off; just wanted to check on Jo and Katie."

Meredith raised an eyebrow at him, "Just what exactly are you doing with that intern?" she asked.

"I'm being her friend," he rolled his eyes.

"Is that all?" she asked doubt evident in her voice, "She's got a kid."

"Dude, really? Don't you think I know that? I'm taking care of her kid."

"I'm just saying… Be careful, Alex."

"We're friends, Mer, but you know what? So what if I do want to be more. We've got a connection; we just fit. There's something there, Mer, a spark. So... so what if I do decide to explore it? It's been a long time since I've met a girl I wanted to actually get to know not just get in the sack. Would that be such a bad thing?" Alex ranted.

"No, Alex, no it wouldn't. It would be great. I want to see you happy with someone, but I just don't want to see you get hurt again," she pulled him into a side hug before saying goodnight and jogging to her car.