Chapter 7

Sakura's Resolve


"What the hell were you thinking?!" Tsunade's voice bellowed with rage before her office door had fully closed.

Sakura winced. "I . . ."

"I took you under my charge years ago only to be repaid like this?" The volume of her words increased as she came around to the front of her desk, her blond pony-tails trailing behind her as if her fury generated its own whirlwind.

"I'm sorry, Shishou," Sakura began, knowing as the words left her mouth that they were woefully insufficient. "The last thing I wanted was to let you down. I'll do anything to make it up to you."

"I still can't understand what you were thinking. We're in the middle of trying to finalize the terms of the Shinobi Union, there's now this rogue group starting havoc in more than one of the middle countries, and my own apprentice deserts the village!"

"That wasn't my intention!" Sakura exclaimed, remembering Kakashi's words. "I didn't even think of it like that."

Tsunade crossed her arms, her lips a hard line, and at the look of disappointment in her eyes, Sakura felt a pang of shame and misery. That look was worse than any other punishment that could have been doled out, and she almost wished the Hokage had thrown a chair out the window or broken the desk, or done either of those things to her, rather than reveal how much Sakura had failed her expectations.

Sakura's cheeks burned and she turned them from Tsunade's glare. "I was only trying to help Sasuke. I thought he needed help on his mission. I thought he needed . . . " She let her voice trail off. The idea that Sasuke needed her seemed so stupid and laughable now, in the harsh light of reality.

"If I wanted you on that mission, I would have assigned it to you." Every word out of Tsunade's voice was heavy with barely contained rage as she paced back to her desk. "And Sasuke can take care of himself."

"Yes," Sakura said, her voice low and bitter, and breaking a bit on her next words. "Apparently he can."

But the Hokage ignored her student's distress and angrily shuffled papers around her desk as she looked for something. After a moment, she seized a scroll from the pile, and raised her eyes to Sakura again. "You're damn lucky I want to keep this incident classified, because I wouldn't hesitate to strip you of your rank and make you work your way up from Genin again. But don't think you won't be punished."

"I understand." Sakura met Tsunade's eyes and wondered what punishment could possibly be worse than the heartache she already felt. Whatever it was, she didn't care. She would do all the janitorial work in the hospital, or take the mind-numbing transport missions that had been coming in to the village, or accept whatever other fate the Hokage felt she deserved. She wouldn't have even cared if she had been demoted back to Genin.

"First, you will not be promoted to Jōnin this month as I had planned to do, and you will be ineligible for that promotion for at least two years."

"I understand." Sakura said again. Without that promotion, she wouldn't get her raise and she'd certainly have no chance of getting the upcoming Director position at the hospital, but really, what was the point of any of that now?

Tsunade's eyes blazed.

"Further, you will be assigned a mission, in addition to your current duties at the hospital," Tsunade went on, and handed the scroll to Sakura. "From Mondays through Fridays, you'll now be teaching medical ninjutsu at the academy. Starting next week when the winter break ends. The details are in there."

"What?!" Sakura couldn't contain her surprised response.

"Ah, I see that got the response I expected out of you. I want each Genin class going forward to have at least basic knowledge of medical ninjutsu and first aid. If I remember right, you were once the main proponent of that goal."

"But surely Shizune would be a better choice for the teaching part of it," Sakura said, dismayed.

"I can't spare Shizune. And besides, she's not the one who deserted her village to run after a boy."

Sakura's face flushed with anger and embarrassment. "How am I supposed to do that and my duties at the hospital? And I've never even taught!" She imagined Konohamaru and all the trouble he and his teammates had gotten into over the years multiplied by a hundred. And that led her to another thought, and she groaned. "And how do you expect me to teach Naruto!?"

At this, Sakura saw the beginning of a smirk forming on Tsunade's face. "I'm sure you'll surprise yourself. And you will teach Naruto, and every other academy student, without complaint, or I'll extend the ban on your promotion. Also, you'll have plenty of time for the hospital, because you'll be working the evening shifts there once school starts up."

Sakura opened her mouth to protest again, but thought better of it and instead simply closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. "Yes, Shishou."

"I could have lost you out there, Sakura. Don't you know how necessary you are here? Don't ever do something so stupid and reckless again."

Sakura opened her eyes and could now see the worry in Tsunade's face. After everything she'd done over the years to catch up to Naruto and Sasuke, here she was again, a burden to everyone she cared about. She had to make it up to them. "I know I've disappointed everyone. I'll work hard not to let it happen again."

"Don't disappoint yourself," Tsunade said. "That's all you need to do."


Sakura woke with a gasp, tangled in her sheets and soaked with sweat. Heart pounding, it took a few moments to realize she was lying in the quiet warmth of her room and not on the damp, muddy forest floor of Rain country with a blue-haired enemy standing above her.

Soft light filtered under her bedroom door and a glance at the clock told her it was only two in the morning. Sitting up with a steadying breath, she pulled on a robe and shuffled out to the living room, where she found Ino sitting cross-legged on the couch with a notebook in her lap.

"Hey," Sakura said, her voice dispirited as she walked over and sank down next to her friend. "What are you doing up?"

"I have to finish this mission report," Ino answered, looking up. "What about you?"

"I can't sleep." Sakura slouched against the back of the couch.

Ino closed the notebook and tossed it on the coffee table. "Can't sleep, or you had another nightmare?"

"Can't sleep," she lied.

From the way Ino stared back at her, it was apparent she didn't buy it, but to Sakura's relief, she let it go. "Well, if you ever want to talk about it, I'm here."

"Thanks, but what is there to talk about? I'm tired of crying and I already know I need to move on. Besides, it always leads to a fight with you."

"It doesn't always lead to a fight." Ino said indignantly. "At least, not when you don't say something stupid."

Sakura managed a weak smile. "See?"

"And the problem is you don't want to move on. Despite what he told you, you still want to find some kind of rationalization for it. You still want to believe he'll come back and say he was wrong."

"That's not true," Sakura said, but she couldn't muster much enthusiasm in her denial. "Give me a little bit of credit, won't you?"

"Can you honestly tell me that if he walked through that door right now and begged at your feet, you'd turn him away?"

Would she? Sakura wondered. She wished he would plead for her forgiveness, just so she could look down on him with scorn and tell him it was too late, before turning on her heel and never looking back. The thought of it gave her a trivial satisfaction, but she knew it would never happen.

And who was she kidding anyway? As much as she told herself she'd turn him away, she doubted she could. After all, she'd loved him since they were six years old. "It doesn't matter anyway," she said. "It won't happen."

"I hope not, because I'd have to kill him before he made it halfway through the door," Ino commented, in the same resigned tone she'd used to complain that she had to finish her mission report.

Sakura's lips twitched and she raised her eyebrows.

"What?" Ino countered. "You think a measly Rinnegan is any match for a pissed off best friend?"

With a fragile smile, Sakura said, "Well, maybe I would put my money on you in that fight."

Ino smiled sweetly back at her. "Anyway, all you need is time and some good distractions. And honestly, all this will make you stronger."

"Why? Because it didn't kill me? I'm tired of hearing that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. No, you know what really happens? What doesn't kill you just weakens you for the next time, or causes you to become completely maladjusted."

This time it was Ino who raised an eyebrow. "Wow, pessimistic much? Although, I guess I'm not surprised you'd see things that way sometimes. I mean, look at your teammates. I wouldn't exactly call them the most well-adjusted group of people I've ever met." She leveled a stare at Sakura. "But seriously, you're wrong about this not making you stronger. And when you realize it, I'll be there to say 'I told you so.'"

"As any best friend would, of course." Sakura rolled her eyes.

Ino's eyes sparkled with mischief now. "Anyway, like I was saying, you just need to take your mind off everything."

Sakura sighed. "I know. I was thinking the same thing. I just need to focus on work."

"Work? That's what you think of when you think distraction?" Ino shook her head. "No, I mean a distraction." When Sakura only looked at her skeptically, she huffed. "You know, of the male kind?"

"Oh my gods, Ino, are you serious? The last thing I want right now is to think about guys. Besides, Lady Tsunade is this close to demoting me. Don't you think I should focus on the hospital and the academy?"

"Sure, but you can do that and meet guys too. And you know, the best way to get over one guy is to get under anot. . ."

"Don't even say it!" Sakura interrupted her and shoved her in the shoulder.

Ino laughed. "Fine, don't take my advice."

"You wouldn't even take your advice!"

"Why wouldn't I?" Ino asked. "But no matter what, I'm not letting you stay cooped up here. Every time I go out, you're coming with me."

"Fine, whatever," Sakura responded, closing her eyes as she leaned back against the couch again. As busy as they were, there was little chance Ino would find the time to force a string of blind dates on her anyway. And she supposed going out with her friends every now and then probably would be a good distraction.

"Good," Ino said definitively, and reached for her mission notebook.


Sakura stood in the lobby of the Leaf Hospital at the end of her shift that afternoon and scanned the documents in her hand. The words on the pages blurred as her mind wandered back through the turmoil of her memories, and she took a deep steadying breath to keep the tears back.

"From the numbers here, it's clear the patients with non-physical complaints are overwhelmingly children." At the sound of the voice, Sakura brought her attention back to the young medic-nin who stood before her, his face flushed as he made his report.

"So the data backs up what I suspected." Sakura said, her mind still foggy as she handed the charts back to him. "Thank you for bringing these to me. Can you pass them on to the Hokage?"

With a sigh, she then turned to leave, and saw Kakashi leaning against the wall near the front desk, the picture of relaxed indifference. When he saw her approaching, he pushed off the wall and walked toward her.

"What's wrong?" She searched him for any obvious signs of injury. "Are you hurt?"

"If I were injured, do you think I'd be anywhere near here?"

"Oh yeah, you'd be bleeding on my doorstep, wouldn't you?" Sakura said with the barest hint of a smile. "So what's going on?"

"A mission came in, and it calls for a medic. We leave now, if you want to take it."

"Now?!" Her voice rose in astonishment. "But we just got back two days ago! And what if I have plans?"

"Do you have plans?" He raised an eyebrow skeptically at her.

Sakura frowned at him. Yes, she did have plans, for his information. Maybe they were plans to go home and be miserable and maybe cry and eat a ton of ice cream, but they were still plans. "No," she finally said, crossing her arms.

"Good, so now you do. If you want them, that is."

She huffed audibly. "You know I'll go, but you'll have to wait for me to go home and change and get my pack. I don't have anything here."

"No, you don't need anything but yourself for this one. We'll be back before ten tonight."

"Before ten?" She looked at the clock on the wall. "It's past 4:00."

He turned toward the doors. "Think of it as a mini-mission. I'll brief you on the way."

This time Sakura lifted an eyebrow as she fell in step beside him. But then she remembered the Hokage's ire and hesitated. "And Lady Tsunade knows about this so-called mini-mission?"

"Oh, now we're making sure all missions are authorized, are we?" He glanced down at her, his eyes amused. She only scowled. "Yes, she knows. I was in her office when it came in."

"Ok, ok. Let's go," she mumbled.

Once outside the village gates, they headed north at a sprint. "It won't take more than a half hour to get there," Kakashi said. "It's the mining village near the waterfall. There was a rock-fall this morning, and there have been a number of broken bones."

"Just broken bones? Their civilian doctor should be able to treat those." Sakura was puzzled. "If they're sending for help, there must be other injuries."

"Apparently, their local doctor was on the scene but it's more than he can handle, so they sent for a medical nin. But based on the mission request, I don't believe there are any critical injuries."

Sakura silently lamented the shortage of shinobi doctors in the smaller towns. During the war preparations, when she and the other medical staff had been stretched so thin, she'd dreamed of one day implementing a program to get at least one doctor trained in medical ninjutsu in every village. But then Sasuke had come home and she hadn't thought about much other than him. She now sighed into the wind and pushed him from her thoughts.

"How was your first day back at work?" Kakashi asked, breaking the silence. "Lady Tsunade didn't have you doing anything too miserable, I'm sure."

"After telling me I have to teach at the academy, I don't think there's anything worse she could come up with." Sakura grimaced at the thought. But she didn't expect any sympathy from Kakashi, who had almost let out a rare laugh when she'd told him about it yesterday. Beside her now, she heard him chuckle again. "You don't have to enjoy my misery so much." She glared at him.

"I think you'll end up liking it." The amusement was gone from his voice, but Sakura was sure there was still a smile beneath his mask. "Besides, you've always said you wanted more kids to learn medical ninjutsu. Here's your chance."

"I know." She had always wanted that. She had wanted to change a lot about the medical practices in Konoha and the rest of the country. "I wanted a lot of things." Now, pushing off a tree branch with a burst of chakra, she wondered if she would ever muster the enthusiasm for all of it again. "I actually received a report as I was leaving today about another project I'd been thinking about before."

"Was that what you were talking about with the medic-nin in the lobby earlier?" Kakashi asked.

"Yeah," Sakura said.

"He looked pretty nervous. One more minute, and I think he would have fainted. I felt sorry for the kid."

"He's a trainee at the hospital. I think he's just not used to giving reports yet."

"I'm sure that was part of it," Kakashi mused.

She looked at him again, the wind whipping through her pink locks, and wondered if he would think her idea was stupid. She hadn't told anyone of her inkling of a plan and until she'd seen the report earlier, she'd even stopped thinking about it herself.

"I asked him to look into the types of patients and medical complaints that have been coming in since the war," she began, hesitatingly.

"Are you looking for something specific?"

"Right after the war, everyone I treated had physical injuries, and I thought things at the hospital would slow down after they healed, but they haven't. If anything, even more people are coming in every day and most don't have injuries at all; just non-specific complaints of pain or poor health. And it's always the same-there's nothing physically wrong with them. Instead, it's the trauma and psychological effects of the war finally hitting them.

And then Kurenai-sensei brought her daughter in, and I couldn't get the thought out of my head about all the children who'd been left in the village during the war. They must be suffering too."

Kakashi looked thoughtful as she spoke, but didn't say anything.

"Most of the pediatric cases don't come to me though, so I asked for actual numbers. I was sure there had to be so many children experiencing problems stemming from being alone and seeing their village in ruins, and then being paralyzed and captive to the ten-tails tree. If I was right, I knew I couldn't leave them like that." She frowned.

"Anyway, I was right about the numbers," she went on. "I guess it would be better if I wasn't, but it turns out that most of the patients coming in recently with mental trauma are children."

"So what do you want to do with this information?"

Sakura met his eyes again. It wasn't an understatement to say that her idea was a bit radical. After all, the Shinobi Rules had been drilled into young academy students from almost as soon as they could read, and more than a few stressed the utmost importance of hiding emotions.

She thought back to her own academy days. Rule 25: A shinobi must never show their tears. Rule 29: A shinobi must never show any weakness. And on and on. And Kakashi was soon to be the person in charge of making sure the rules were enforced by everyone else.

Of course, it wasn't like they hadn't been broken on countless occasions. Even Kakashi would put his comrades before the rules, and in the time she had known him, he'd never been someone to take too rigid a stance on things. And maybe that was the point. Some of the rules were impossible to follow. "I think there should be a department in the hospital to provide care for children's mental health," she finally began.

Her expression took on an almost defiant look as she spoke. "I think it's stupid that we're taught as children to hide our emotions. All it leads to is shame when we can't, and hatred or blame when we can. Look at Gaara and Sai, and so many others who had all this terrible childhood trauma and never had help. And look at Naruto, who never hid anything, and all the good that emotion was able to do in the end."

Finishing with a rush, she said, "Maybe the upper ranks will think I'm crazy, but I think Konoha can lead the way on this. I think some kind of program where children can talk out their issues and get therapy will only make our village and shinobi ranks stronger."

Kakashi didn't immediately comment, and Sakura felt another twinge of nerves. "You think it's . . ." she began.

But he spoke at the same time before she could finish. "I think it's a good idea."

"What?"

"I think it's a good idea," he repeated, and she could hear the sincerity in his voice.

"You do?"

"I do. And I think Lady Tsunade will agree. You should be the one to take the lead on it."

Sakura turned her face toward the wind. But after a moment, she glanced at him again. "And what about the Shinobi Rules that say we should hide our emotions?"

"They have a time and place in battle," he said as he sailed through the trees beside her. "But maybe it's time we rethink a few of them. There's no virtue in doing things the way they've always been done if a better way comes around."

And when his eyes met hers, she was surprised to feel some of the jittery enthusiasm that had coursed through her when she'd first dreamed up the crazy plan, and that she hadn't thought she'd feel about anything again, after Sasuke. At that moment, she was almost ready to launch into a full description of her ideas, but only a few moments more brought them to the mining village, and she was forced to leave off as they slowed and dropped to a walk.

After a rushed greeting, the village elder and the doctor ushered them down a cramped dusty lane lined with squat houses. Sakura could see a small crowd of people in the distance, and within a minute, she and Kakashi had reached the building where the group had gathered.

It was a narrow mud-colored house like all the rest, with peeling paint and a few rickety chairs against the outer wall, and Sakura was dismayed to learn it was the town's hospital. Once inside, she saw that it was really nothing more than a few rooms at the back of the doctor's house.

"Thankfully, the injuries were limited to broken bones," the doctor was saying. "And I was able to set most of them. But you'll see there is one case here that we're simply not equipped to handle." He looked to her, his face mingled with pride and growing concern.

Sakura listened as she scrubbed in and was led to one of the rooms, where a small boy, no more than five or six years old, was cradled unconscious in the arms of a woman Sakura learned was his mother.

"Can you help him?" the woman asked through her sobs.

"I'm going to try," Sakura answered, doing a quick assessment. The injury looked grisly. It was a severe compound fracture of the tibia and fibula, and the end of the fibula had torn through the boy's skin, exposing the bone and internal tissues.

The break itself would be easy to set, but even though the leg had been immobilized and the wound had been cleaned competently, she could see that infection had set in and if he didn't get immediate treatment, his injury would likely be fatal.

"Why didn't you call for help sooner?" Sakura asked, flashing a frustrated glance toward the doctor.

"We did everything we could," he said. "We called for help as soon as we realized we needed it."

Sakura looked down at the boy and hoped she had gotten there soon enough. "Let's get him on the table here." She was grateful he was unconscious. She had learned from the doctor's rushed briefing that the hospital didn't have the means or staff to administer general anesthesia, and this would be a painful operation, even with a local.

As soon as the boy was lying down, Sakura placed the clamp of a pulse oximeter on his finger and began preparing the monitors and IV. She then turned back toward the doctor and told him what she needed for the regional anesthesia. And finally, once it had taken effect, her hands lit up with the thrum of her chakra and she began the operation of removing the non-viable tissue, withdrawing the bacteria, and setting the break.

To Sakura, the chakra she used for surgeries felt like an extension of her own fingers, a gossamer tool she could manipulate into almost any task, and now she delicately wove strands of it around the boy's bones, knitting them together slowly and gently so as not to shock his little body. Surprisingly, he remained stable, and finally, after an hour, she relaxed.

The buzz of her chakra faded, and she wiped her forehead with her arm as she met the eyes of the boy's mother. "The bone is set, and I was able to remove the infection. All he needs now is rest, and to stay off of it for a few weeks."

At Sakura's words, the woman broke down and her body heaved with relieved sobs. She had not let go of her son throughout the operation, but she now released him and seized Sakura's hands, her eyes shining with tears and full of gratitude. "Thank you, thank you for coming here."

At the hard grip of the woman's hands over her own, Sakura felt a swell of emotion and a rush of purpose in her work that she hadn't felt in a long time. She squeezed back, her heart trembling. "The doctor here will be able to make sure he gets the right medicine and crutches," she said. "He's going to be fine."

She looked up, above the woman's head, and met Kakashi's eyes. He was leaning against the wall by the closed door, in that usual relaxed slouch with his hands in his pockets, but he tipped his head when she smiled at him.

She was grateful to have gone on this mission but as they readied to leave, she couldn't help wondering why she and Kakashi had been the ones assigned to it. After all, it wasn't a complicated case; she hadn't needed to use anything higher than a B-rank jutsu, and there were any number of medical ninja at the Leaf Hospital who could have performed the task.

Later, as they made the return trip beneath the starlit sky to Konoha, she brought it up. "You know, I was wondering something," she began.

"Hmm?"

"How could those people afford to send for us? I mean, I'm really glad I was able to go, but any one of the lower-level medic-nins could have done the job for less than Lady Tsunade will charge to send me and you."

"They didn't send for us specifically," he said, his voice its normal calm. "Lady Tsunade was going to send a lower-level nin. But I was in the office when the mission came in so I volunteered and said you'd be my first choice for medic. She won't charge extra, if that's what you're worried about."

"You volunteered?" Sakura asked, surprised. "Why?"

"I was bored." He glanced at her as they walked along the valley road toward Konoha, his gray eyes amused.

The corner of Sakura's lips twisted in a skeptical smirk. "Bored?"

He gave a low hum in the affirmative, but said no more as he faced the road again.

She looked ahead too, and wondered what he had really been thinking when the mission had come in. Whatever it was, she didn't buy that bored excuse for a second. She knew him well enough by now to know that while he could get bored easily, he never suffered from a lack of ability to create his own diversions. He certainly wouldn't have needed a C-rank mission for amusement. Had he thought a medical mission would get her thoughts off Sasuke, at least for a little while?

Remembering the feel of that mother's hands grasping hers and the realization that she had saved a life tonight, Sakura smiled into the night. She knew she hadn't yet shed her last tear over Sasuke, and knew that day was probably still a long way off, but maybe it actually would be possible to feel good sometimes, even through the grief, if she could just focus on work.

"Kakashi-sensei?"

"Hmm?" He murmured, glancing down at her.

"Thank you." She wished her eyes could say everything she felt, but maybe they didn't need to when it came to two friends who'd shared so much together already.

She saw the faint curve of his mouth beneath the mask. "Any time, Sakura."


Kakashi stood before the Memorial Stone, his eyes unwaveringly fixed on the place where Obito's name was carved in the dark rock. For more than half his life, the sharingan eye he had inherited from Obito had been a constant reminder of the mistakes that had cost his childhood teammates their lives. And although the eye was now gone, the burden of the past had not gone with it.

The image of Sakura, her stomach open on the operating table, flashed through his mind, and he tried to push it back, just as he had always tried to push back images of Rin dying by his own hand. No amount of forgiveness would ever make him forget the feel of it, the sizzle of electricity that raced through his hand as it plunged through her, the horror that rushed over him as she fell.

Kakashi let out a deep steadying breath. In so may ways, Team 7 represented what he and Obito and Rin might have been. He had to keep Sakura and Sasuke and Naruto together and safe, or Obito's trust would have again been in vain.

But his actions felt as futile as they always had. Nothing Kakashi had done had kept Sasuke from leaving the village four years ago, and nothing he'd done now had kept him from leaving again. Sasuke had the village's permission this time, but, just as before, he had left in search of answers he believed he couldn't find in Konoha.

But the last time Sasuke had left, Kaskashi had left Sakura and Naruto to fend for themselves. This time he would do everything he could to get Naruto ready for what was headed his way. And while he knew he didn't have much in the way of wisdom to offer Sakura, he could at least keep her from sitting alone on her time off and dwelling on all the could-have-beens. If there was anything he had learned over the years, it was that friends are the only things that fill the cracks in a broken heart.

With that resolve, a few minutes later, he found himself jogging up the stairs to Sakura's apartment. At the top, he knocked on her door and leaned against the railing to wait. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw the splash of orange just now appearing at the horizon. There was no way she was up yet. He knocked again.

Finally the door opened, and a tired and annoyed Sakura appeared. At the sight of him, her expression changed to surprise. "Kakashi-sensei?"

"You're just waking up?" He raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah," she said, rubbing the corners of her eyes. "Some of us actually like to sleep in if we can. What do you want?"

"Wow, is that any way to greet your old sensei?"

She only stared at him.

He smirked. "Come on, let's go for a run."

"A run?"

"Yes, a run. You know, one foot after the other, fast walk, sprint, . . ."

"Yeah yeah, I get it. But since when do you and I go running outside of missions?" A look of suspicion crossed her face, followed by a sudden, very Sakura-like, flash of anger. "Wait, did Lady Tsunade appoint you as my babysitter or something? I can't believe it. Well, you can all stop worrying about me. I'm not going to leave the village again." She glared at him. "So you can stop whatever it is you're doing."

"My babysitting days ended years ago," he said calmly. "I'm in the mood for a run and thought you might be too."

She crossed her arms and looked at him skeptically.

He crossed his own. "Are you coming or not?"

"And if I say no?"

"I'll go alone then," he responded easily. "But I'm sure you'd rather go running than sit by yourself here."

She looked at him for a moment and then opened the door wide before she turned and walked back inside. "Fine. Let me get changed."

He smiled and followed her in, kicking the door shut behind him and slipping out of his shoes.

"So where are we running?" she asked from her closed bedroom as he sunk down on the couch.

"I thought we'd do the monument run. No chakra." He heard a groan from the other side of her door. "Everything alright in there?" he called in mock concern.

"No chakra, really?"

"What, are you afraid of a few steps?"

"A few steps?" She came out of her bedroom then, her arms raised above her head as she pulled her short hair back behind her headband. "Isn't it like 3000 steps or something?"

"Something like that." He stood and started toward the door. "Maybe we should ask Naruto exactly how many there are."

She snickered. "Yeah, well, it won't change the fact that my whole body will be jelly by the time we get to the top."

"Stop complaining, come on."

"Ok, but last one to the top has to buy the team dinner next time," she said.

He glanced over his shoulder and saw the devilish expression on her face. He hesitated. Even without chakra, she had incredible strength and endurance, and despite her whining, he had a feeling he'd be the one shelling out the cash for their next meal if he took this bet.

"What, are you afraid of a few steps?" she taunted.

He lifted his eyebrows. "Alright, deal."

Ten minutes later, they had started up the 3000 winding steps of the Hokage monument that eventually snaked around the First Hokage's face and up to the plateau above. He let her set the pace, staying close enough, but conserving as much energy as possible for the final push he'd need to get past her at the top. How she could keep such an unforgiving pace was mind-boggling.

"You ok back there?" Sakura laughed over her shoulder at him as they reached the bend in the stairs near the First Hokage's chin.

"You just worry about yourself," he called back, ignoring the burn in his calves and thighs, and looking out over the sweeping vista of the village. He would never tire of this view.

"I can't believe how big your head looks from here," she said a few minutes later with a teasing lilt to her voice. "There's no getting out of the job now, you know."

He followed her gaze past the jutting profiles of five stone Hokage to the likeness of himself now carved into the rock cliff. "Maybe I'll get lucky and Naruto will take on the job before I can get to it," he replied, as he began to close in on her. She was finally beginning to sound winded. There was no way she'd keep this pace to the top.

When they passed the First Hokage's stone hitai-ate, Kakashi decided to make his move. Pulling on his final reserves of energy for the last hundred steps, he began to close the distance between them. Half a minute later, he had drawn even with her, and as he passed, he gave her a lazy salute. "See you at the top."

If he'd had any serious objections to buying dinner, he would never have taunted her. After all, he had learned years ago that the surefire way to get Sakura to find her own hidden reserves of energy and determination was to surpass her in any way. And to tease her while doing it? Well, he'd also learned to be damn sure she couldn't catch up if he was going to do that.

Of course, he wasn't convinced she couldn't catch up this time, but he was pretty sure she wouldn't throw him over the edge if she did catch him. As he ran with all the natural strength he could command though, the ridge of the plateau above loomed closer with every second, and he became sure of his victory.

But then, three steps from the top, he caught a flash of pink in his peripheral vision.

"What was that you said?" Her voice was breathless and her eyes were a quick sparkle of green as she surged past, and a moment later she had somehow managed to reach the plateau an inch before him.

She then promptly collapsed to the ground, her chest heaving as she looked up at him and grinned out gasping breaths. Beside her, he leaned over, his hands on his bent knees, as he tried to catch his own breath. "Nice race," he said, impressed.

"Thanks," she answered between breaths. "But my legs are mush."

He wanted to rest too, but he knew his muscles would regret it. "Come on," he said after a minute, holding out his hand to her. "Let's walk, before our muscles seize up."

She let him pull her to her feet, a grin still on her face. "Dinner's on you. And I can't wait to try that new sushi place."

"I was thinking more along the lines of Ichiraku."

"Don't even try it," she said. "We've both had enough ramen to last a lifetime."

"Well, whatever you want," he said easily. Sushi sounded good anyway.

Turning, he took in the panoramic view of Konoha, its roads fanning outward from the Hokage Tower, rooftops of crimson and yellow and emerald green glinting in the morning sun, the Naka river curving along the outer wall like a drowsy serpent. His blood and tears had watered this land.

Maybe that was why the village continued to endure, defiantly rebuilding time and again. Because its soul was not in the slate and wood of its buildings or in the great stone monument that watched over its roads. Its soul, its strength, its beating heart, were its people.

"This really is the most beautiful place in the world," Sakura said from beside him, her voice hushed. "It's . . ." She trailed off, and Kakashi looked down at her.

When she spoke again, her voice was still low and almost reverent in its wonder. "It's so much . . . bigger than us. I had almost forgotten." Her eyes met his, and in her face was mingled amazement and sadness and joy, her eyes red from un-shed emotion. "I'm not sure how to put it into words," she finished, turning her face back toward the view.

"It's alright." He looked at her profile for a few moments before turning his eyes toward the village again too. "I know what you mean." He was sure she was feeling that same combination of insignificance and inspiration he always felt when standing here.

Sunlight shimmered off the distant gates and for the hundredth time, it hit Kakashi that he would be the next Hokage. To say he was in no rush to take on that role would be an understatement, but it was only a matter of time before Lady Tsunade would start putting the pressure on him to pick an inauguration date.

"What are you thinking?" Sakura asked.

"Hmm?" Pulled from his reflections, he met her eyes. What was he thinking? Too much. That he wasn't what the village needed, that he regretted not being a better teacher and friend to her over the years, that he was sorry for not being able to keep Sasuke in the village. "That it's about time we start walking, or you might be carrying me back," he answered.

"It wouldn't be the first time." She smiled, and a moment later, they turned and walked back toward the path.

"They've done so much up here," Sakura said as she looked around the rest of the plateau. "Ino's been trying to get me up here but I never found the time."

Kakashi surveyed the flat grassy expanse at the top of the monument and had to admit that it was finally coming together. After the war, Tsunade had designated the space for parkland, and since then, the formerly bare cliff top had been slowly transforming.

"Have they hooked up the electricity yet?" Sakura asked.

"Not yet." He looked at the strings of tiny unlit bulbs strung through the trees and the round paper lanterns hanging from the corners of the gazebo. He'd recently sat in on a meeting in which Tsunade had been shouting to some unfortunate committee member about the escalating costs of the project.

"I hope they do soon," Sakura said. "I bet it'll look like a fairyland at night."

They made a circuit of the new park before finally starting back down, this time with no chakra limitations. "Up for joining me for another workout tomorrow morning?" Kakashi asked when they had reached the front of the tea shop below her apartment.

"Ok, but not at six in the morning."

"Would five-thirty be better?"

She gave him a freezing look. He held back a chuckle. "I'll see you tomorrow then." And he flickered away in a swirl of wind.


On Saturday evening, after a week of unforgiving morning workouts, Sakura decided she'd give Kakashi a little payback for his obscenely early wake-ups, and be the one to drag him out of bed the following morning. Of course, when her alarm jolted her awake at 3:30 on Sunday, she sat up with a groan and almost rethought the decision.

But a half hour later, she was on his front porch. After pounding on the door, a minute passed, and then another, and with a twinge of disappointment, she began to wonder if she had somehow missed him on the way here.

But no, she thought; it was almost two hours earlier than he'd ever shown up at her place—he had to be home. After giving the door a few more loud knocks with no response, though, she had half-turned to walk back down the front stairs when it finally opened.

Turning around, she saw Kakashi at the half-open door, his hair damp. "Good morning," he said, his eyes curious as they met hers. "To what do I owe this early visit?" He wore his mask, but his shirt was in his hands and he now looked down at it as he flipped it over and began to pull it on.

Sakura's eyes flitted to his bare chest, and she couldn't help but notice the way his muscles moved and flexed as he pulled the shirt over his head. She suddenly remembered Ino being astonished that she'd never noticed how hot Kakashi was. The memory brought a blush to Sakura's cheeks, and when her eyes jumped back up to his face she found him considering her, the corners of his eyes betraying the curve of his lips, and she blushed even deeper.

"I . . . um . . . I thought I'd pay you back and wake you up for a change," she managed to say, still feeling inexplicably embarrassed. "But I guess even four a.m. isn't early enough."

"Not usually," he said. "Come on in. I'll be ready in a minute. You caught me in the shower."

He walked back into the bathroom, while Sakura settled down in a chair in the living room and looked around. "How do you like this place?" It was definitely an upgrade from the tiny apartment he'd been in before Konoha had been practically leveled a year ago.

Wandering out of the bathroom and rubbing a towel in his hair, he looked around too, as if he were trying to see it through her eyes. "Too big. It's taken some getting used to."

"I like it. The Hokage can't be holed up in a tiny apartment, you know."

"Apparently not," he said, and tossed the towel over the back of the chair before pushing his hands in his pockets. He looked down at her then and his expression became more serious than Sakura had seen it in a while, his eyes seeming to search hers. She was about to ask him if everything was ok when he spoke. "I wasn't planning to come get you till six. I have a stop to make first. Do you mind coming along?"

"No, that's fine," she replied, standing. "But I don't want to be in your way or anything. I can go back home and you can meet me when you're done, if you want."

"You won't be in the way," he said. "You've been there with me before."

She looked questioningly at him.

"The cemetery and the Memorial Stone." He turned toward the door and grabbed his vest. "I go every morning when I'm in Konoha."

"Oh," Sakura said quietly. "I didn't know." She followed him out and waited behind him on the porch as he locked the door. "Are you sure I won't be intruding?"

"I'm sure."

They walked toward the Third Training Grounds, and at the Memorial Stone, she stood beside him in easy silence, remembering the last time she had stood there with him. It had been the evening they had returned after the war, when Sasuke had been taken to the Konoha jail. That day now felt like a lifetime ago. Her future had been different then, Sakura thought. Looking forward now, she no longer had any idea what it held.

At the rush of memories, Sakura felt the sting of tears, but held them back with an effort of will that made her throat ache. She had to let go of what she had hoped for then. Of what she had believed. But letting go was the hardest thing she'd ever done.

As the first streaks of blue lightened the sky, she and Kakashi began to walk back through the Training Grounds in the general direction of the village gates. "How long have you been coming here in the mornings?" she asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Since I was thirteen," he said as he walked, hands in his pockets. His voice was its usual calm, if a little softer than usual.

And all the while, she and the boys had assumed he was always late for their missions out of disinterest or laziness. She wanted to ask more, but didn't want to pry. Maybe there was a reason he'd never shared that with them. Maybe someday she would ask him.

After a little ways more in silence, he glanced down at her. "I noticed you stopped wearing your dad's necklace. Did anything happen to it?"

"Yeah," she said, sure her face revealed the sudden pang of heartache. "I lost it sparring with Naruto and . . . and with Sasuke. I had thought of asking you to see if your dogs could help find it, but I think that's a hopeless idea."

"Where did it happen? They can try."

She felt a brief flash of optimism, but tried to push it down, knowing it was near impossible that they could unearth the pendant. "Just back there, actually. Behind the Third Training Grounds."

When they arrived back at the area of forest where the necklace had fallen off, Kakashi summoned his eight ninken, who immediately appeared in a puff of smoke. "Hey Boss, hey Sakura," Pakkun said in his rough voice as he jumped down from Bull's head.

Kakashi explained the mission, and the dogs proceeded to take a deep whiff of Sakura's hair. "Hmmm, you're using a new shampoo again," Pakkun rumbled, and just barely leaped away from Sakura's punch as he let out his gruff doggy cackle.

After that, all of them except Bull were sent out. Sakura had commandeered the giant bulldog, without much prodding, and was now sitting against him in the patchy winter grass. She knew it was foolish, but her nerves were quivering with the anxious hope that any minute one of the dogs would appear with her pendant, and Bull's furry bulk was a calming presence.

As she had expected though, the mission turned up nothing, and when the dogs returned empty-pawed, she swallowed hard and fought back the tears. But she thanked them all, and even gave Pakkun an extended hug, which he resisted every second of, and tried not to let her own disappointment show.

"Thanks for doing that," she said to Kakashi, after the dogs had departed.

"It was worth a try," he replied. "I'm sorry we couldn't find it."

"It's ok. I knew it was a long shot." Her lips curved in a sad smile. "But now I really need that run."


Afterward, they had just reached the front of the tea shop when Sakura caught sight of Naruto coming towards them.

"Hey Kakashi-sensei," Naruto called out as he approached. And then, as he draped his arm around Sakura, he grinned. "Hey Sakura-sensei."

She groaned. "Don't call me that."

"Aw, don't be mad. I'm going to be your best student, believe it."

"I doubt it." She shook off his arm and tried to glare at him. "I can't believe I have to do this. I swear, if you and Konohamaru make any trouble, I won't hesitate to kill either of you."

Naruto only grinned wider. "Cheer up, it'll be fun. Anyway, I have to run—I'm meeting Shikamaru. You're still coming with us to karaoke tonight, right? Everyone's going."

"Yeah, I'm coming with Ino and Sai. Who else is going?"

"Hinata and Lee and Tenten so far. And probably Shikamaru and Kiba and Choji. And maybe Shino." Turning to Kakashi, he asked, "You'll come too, right Kakashi-sensei? Gai-sensei and some other old timers are going to be there, I think."

Kakashi raised his eyebrows at Naruto. "Didn't you say you have somewhere to be?"

"Fine, I won't bother you about it," he laughed. "But I'll see you later Sakura!" And he jogged off with a wave.

After Naruto had gone, Sakura turned to Kakashi. "Will you come?"

"We'll see."

"I'll take that as a 'no' then," she said with a forbearing smile and rolled her eyes.

"I can't make any promises—there might be some little old ladies that need help across streets." His voice took on a tone of mock gravity.

"Hmm, I'm pretty sure you've used that one before," she said. "But that's ok. I'll save a seat for you just in case." Her expression softened then. "Anyway, thanks for hanging out this week. It really took my mind off things."

"I know." The corners of his eyes crinkled. "Glad I could be of service."

"Well, I'll see you around—wish me luck that I don't murder anyone in my first week teaching."

"Yes, please don't kill our future Hokage. If you do, you'll be taking that job too."

"No promises," she said, her mouth tilting toward a grin, and then turned and jogged along the side of the tea shop toward her apartment.


The music pulsed through Sakura's body as she sat at a high-top pub table and watched her friends making fools of themselves on stage. They were singing one of her favorite songs, and the quick thumping of the beat and the thrum of voices around her made her feel better than she had all week.

The little red dress Ino had convinced her to wear wasn't hurting either; it made her feel sexy for the first time in as long as she could remember. A part of her wondered what Sasuke would think if he saw her.

It was a foolish thought, she knew, but despite how much her friends had done to keep her occupied, it was still hard not to think about him or dwell on every moment she'd had with him in the last three months.

She felt the draft of cool air from the restaurant's front door as it opened, and her eyes strayed there to see who was coming in. She'd been half watching the door all night, and this time, when a couple Jōnin she didn't recognize walked inside, she inwardly chided herself for expecting it to be Kakashi. She couldn't be surprised. It really wasn't his thing.

Looking back to the stage, she watched Naruto twirl Hinata around, and felt a pang of loneliness. Maybe she should go up there. With everyone on stage, she could get away with just humming a little.

But then she heard a low familiar voice close to her ear. "I thought you said you would save me a seat."

Forgetting the stage, she spun in her chair with a smile and came almost face to face with Kakashi, who was standing casually beside the table. "Kakashi-sensei! I can't believe you actually showed up!" She hopped down to scoot her stool over as he pulled up a chair and sat beside her.

As the server came over to take his order, Sakura couldn't stop grinning, and when he turned his attention back to her, he raised an eyebrow at the expression on her face. "What?"

"I'm just excited that you came here tonight."

"I figured I couldn't miss your last night of freedom before the academy gig."

At that, the grin slid off her face. "Thanks for reminding me."

He turned to watch the singers and she saw the corners of his eyes crease in amusement. "Is that Naruto up there?" he asked.

"Yeah, can you believe it? I would have never guessed he was such a good singer. I wonder where he's been hiding all these talents over the years."

"Who's up there with him?"

She smiled. "Everybody. It's the only way he could get Hinata up there."

Kakashi turned to her. "So why aren't you up there too?"

"Really?" She lifted her eyebrows at him. "I can't even carry a tune. There's no way I'm singing."

"I'm sure you're better than you think. Can you sing something?"

"Where, right here?" Her expression was dubious.

"No one's paying attention." He glanced lazily around at the crowded restaurant and then back to her.

She looked around too, even leaning forward to look behind him. "Ok. . ." she said slowly, in a tone of voice that indicated she clearly thought the request was crazy but she'd humor him just to prove she was right. She could not believe she was going to sing in front of him. "But I don't even think I know enough of the lyrics to any song to be able to sing one."

She thought for a moment, and then remembered that she had heard the Fire Country battle anthem countless times and could at least sing that. "Oh, ok, I know one. Here goes." And she started singing their national song softly, so only he could hear her.

"What is that?" he asked, after a verse had been sung.

"The Fire anthem!" she said, incredulous. "Don't you know your own national anthem?"

"I do," he chuckled. "What you were singing wasn't it."

She crossed her arms. "I told you I can't sing."

"I'll never doubt you again," he said, his eyes amused.


Later that night, Sakura walked nimbly along the top of the railing separating the paved bridge from the river below, her arms raised for balance. "Look, no chakra!" she said, smiling at Kakashi over her shoulder.

"I really like that you're happy," he commented blandly from a few paces beside her as they walked toward her apartment. "But you might want to watch before you fall into the river."

She smiled wider, jumped down at the end of the bridge, and fell into step beside him again. "I know I'm being silly," she said. "But I feel good tonight, and I want to enjoy these good days as much as I can." Her expression sobered. "When they come, I always feel like they'll last, like I won't be sad anymore. But then everything hits me again when I'm alone. I know it's stupid, to still be crying over him . . ."

"It's not stupid."

She looked at him. "Thanks, but you don't have to say that. . . so many people died during the war . . . this is just a break-up, if it can even be called that."

"It's a loss," he said. "You can't compare it to anyone else's. Just grieve and get stronger." Kakashi thought of the times in his life when he had grieved. He supposed he still was.

"You know, when I was coming back through Rain country, before the attack, I didn't care about my life." Sakura spoke softly, hesitatingly. "I knew it was dangerous to go that way, but there was this part of me that didn't care if I died. I'm so. . .I shouldn't have felt that way, when other people. . ." Her words trailed off.

"It's hard not to feel that way sometimes."

She glanced up. "Have you ever felt that way?"

Kakashi met her eyes briefly before facing the road again. "We've all had our moments of darkness. I think what matters is that we don't let the darkness win." He knew, though, how hard that fight could be sometimes.

She fell silent for a few minutes. "I'm glad I'm alive," she said finally, quietly. "I want to remember that."

"I think you will."

When they reached the tea shop, he followed her along the path between the buildings and up to her door. At the top of the stairs, she looked at the moon and for a few moments seemed lost in thought. But when she turned to him, her expression was cheerful. "Thanks for walking me home."

"Any time," he said, struck with how green her eyes looked in the moonglow. "But now I think I'll let you get some rest. It is a school night, after all."

"Ha ha," she said, her face going stony. "I'll let you know how it goes when I see you."

"I'm looking forward to it." He waited until she unlocked her door and had stepped half inside before he started to turn back toward the stairs. "I'll see you later."

"Wait, before you go. . . I . . ." She spoke softly behind him, from the darkness of the doorway.

"Is anything wrong?" he asked, turning to face her again.

"No. But. . . I want to thank you for everything you've done for me the last few weeks. And I'm really gonna miss our morning workouts, even though I could barely walk after any of them," she said with a small smile. "So thank you."

"You don't have to thank me," he said. "It's what friends do."

And then suddenly, spontaneously, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a tight hug. Surprised, he raised his hands to her back, and returned her embrace lightly. "Well, then thanks for being a good friend," she said, her voice muffled against his shoulder, her hair against his cheek.

He couldn't help breathing in the familiar scent of her-it was bright and sweet and warm, and alive. He was glad she was alive too, glad that for all his mistakes over the years, he'd at least been able to do something good for her this time. And for the brief moment before they parted, he let his arms tighten around her and held her like he didn't want to let go.


To be continued. . .

A/N: I hope you like it. This chapter took SO MUCH longer than I had thought it would and I'm not so sure about it. Please let me know your thoughts!

Ahhh, Kakashi. He was shirtless this time. I think in the following chapters, I'll do my best to get him in various states of undress, haha.

For songs this chapter:

"Ooh La La" – The Well Pennies - such a pretty song about hanging in there until it gets better.

"Shake it Out" – Florence + the Machine

"Whole Lot to Love" – Clouds and Thorns - this is a sweet song about seizing the day and your life, by a not very well-known indie band. Hope you like!

"Fireflies" – Marie Hines - another indie artist with some pretty songs. This is one for Sakura figuring her shit out.