Of Gifts and Broken Hearts
It was spring again in the little village, and Sasori watched through his shop's clean windows as little gusts of wind blew hundreds of petals off the cherry blossom trees and into the air. Some landed on the ground in messy piles, but some were light enough to be carried off by the breezes, and disappeared into the distance…
Sasori turned to tell Sakura of the blooming trees and how nice they looked, and saw that she was dancing again, but more slowly and mournfully than she had ever danced before.
"You are not happy," He accused as he went to her.
But she said:
"You came to tell me of the cherry blossoms and how prettily they have bloomed." Sakura twirled on one toe, and stretched out a slender leg behind her. She did not smile.
"How did you know?"
Sakura did not answer his question. "Some blossoms have drifted off with the wind." She said. Then, sadly – "…tonight I shall too…"
Sasori realized clearly something terrible was happening. He rushed to her and scooped her up gently but urgently with one hand, brought her close to his chest, and felt as if he would cry. But although Sakura was pressed to him, he felt as if she were falling into an abyss that he could not ever follow.
Sakura looked at him, and her gaze was more serious than he had ever seen it, and he never thought she could be capable of such a look, with all her vanity and selfishness and love in that little porcelain heart.
"I have the glass eyes that you gave me. And I have the pink lips. And I have the red silk dress and slippers…" And Sakura gave him such a sad smile he thought he would burst out in tears. "I am so grateful, my Sasori."
"You are not leaving." Sasori said, but he could not convince himself.
"Oh, my toymaker…I am afraid." The sad smile disappeared. "The thought of it is so terrible. But I shall be much more afraid this evening when the moon shines again on your windowsill."
Sasori felt as if his heart would tear open. He knew, but he could not admit it, what was coming that night, but he could not bear the thought of never seeing her dancing upon his desk, of never seeing her sleeping in her little white bed, of never hearing her lovely peal of laughter that pleased him so. For him, his love for her was like his plum puddings on empty days, the sunshine through his clean windows, and what could have been if he had chosen to be, perhaps, a violinist. It was his happiness.
"Sakura, my little doll," Sasori said, "I want to hear you laugh again. I want to see you dance again."
But Sakura told him what he knew and never wanted to hear.
"Tonight, it will be a year…the same moon on that evening that gave the light…and made me dance." Her green glass eyes fluttered like the wings of a dying butterfly. "It only loaned me that light. I should return it."
"No, no," Sasori shook his head. "The moonlight was a gift! You should dance forever. You should dance for me forever. Please, tell me this is all a bad dream, and that I should awake tomorrow to see you dancing on my windowsill in greeting, as you always have..."
Sakura laughed, but unlike her usual laughter that sounded of the clinking of porcelain, it reminded Sasori of the breaking of china. "My toymaker, you shall think of me when you see the cherry blossom trees and their petals, because that is where my name and hair will be."
"Yes, I will…"
"And you shall think of me when you go to market to buy red silk and tulle, because that is where my clothes will be."
"Yes, I will…"
"And you shall think of me when the snow falls on Christmas day, because that is where my delight will be."
"Yes, I will…"
"And you shall think of me when you look at the moon and its light, because that is where I will be." She paused. "It was possible, if only for a little while." And she laughed, and Sasori began to weep.
"Ah, Sakura, my dear little doll, my ballerina, how I love to hear that laughter!" He cried, and Sakura caressed his fingers in an attempt to comfort him.
"You have given me so many things, my Sasori, toymaker." She told him seriously. "But I have given presents to you in return."
"What are you saying, Sakura?"
"Everyone can enjoy the cherry blossom trees, or the snowflakes, or the red silk and tulle, or the moon." She told him. "They are all different for people. For children, the snowflakes are for play, and they rush about to make snow angels; for adults, the snowflakes are a hindrance, and they hurry to make fires. For the merchant, the red silk and tulle are for profit, and he sells them for his dinner. For others, the cherry blossom trees are for admiration, for they come and go so quickly, and leave piles of pink petals in the village square…"
And Sakura laughed again, and her pink rose lips seemed to bloom.
"I do not know what you mean!" Sasori was frustrated. All he could understand as that his little doll was leaving, and that he would never see her dance again.
"In the cherry blossom trees, and the snowflakes, and the red silk and tulle, and the moon, I shall be dancing and living! You will be the only one who will have a dancing doll in the pink petals, in the snowflakes, in the silk, and in the moonlight. It will be as if I am always there, because the trees bloom in the spring, the snow comes in the winter, and the silk and moonbeams are there all year 'round. And you – only you, will be the one to have a dancing ballerina in them all!"
Sakura laughed again, and kissed the tips of his fingers. And for once, her lips seemed soft like rose petals, and almost warm…
"And when you are not sad anymore, you will be happy to have created me. You will be content to have given me these green glass eyes, rose pink lips, cherry blossom hair, and red silk dress. You will always love me. You will always want to watch me dance. And perhaps you will try to make another one of me, but you will resist, for there can only be one Sakura."
She was serious again. "I know that I am happy that you have created me. I am content with my green glass eyes, rose pink lips, cherry blossom hair, and red silk dress. I will always love you. I will always want to dance for you. And perhaps I will think of travelling away in the moonlight to love another, but I will resist, for there can only be one Sasori."
Sasori wept, for her words had done nothing to console him. But they carried truth, and in his heart he accepted them. He brushed a finger down her lovely pink hair.
"Tonight – you should not watch me." She said, more serious than ever now.
"I will not turn away from you."
"It will look as if I am dying, suffering. It is not worth your sadness, my Sasori. It hurts me to see you weep, and you are sad enough."
"I will not turn away from you."
But a thought seemed to reassure her. "But then, I will still be beautiful, much more than your other dolls…"
And finally, Sakura too wept, and for once, her tears were not porcelain dust, but real human tears.
A/N: Will Sakura die or not? O.O Is she really dying? She's only made of porcelain, she's not human. Could she die? I don't know. YET! Hah :D
If you remember what she said in Chapter 2, 'It is possible, if only for a little while', here she repeated it again. 'It WAS possible, if only for a little while.' Yes, she knew it was bound to happen. But what is the 'it'? I'm sure you guessed and know, like Sasori.
Please review! :) It fuels my passion to write!
