From the Diaries of Rupert Giles
August 1, 2006
We had her funeral today. It was one of the saddest days of my life. I can only think of maybe two or three other days that I have felt this way the first being Jenny Calendar's funeral, and the second when Buffy died the second time. I would also have to add Joyce's funeral to this list, however I was not as close to her as I was to either Buffy or Jenny. I'm not even sure that what we had can even be constituted as a funeral, more like a memorial ceremony. Willow refused to let us grieve. She told us that Buffy wouldn't want that, that she didn't want that. Spike and Faith seemed to agree so officially we had a "celebration of life". I miss her so dearly. She had a spark of life in her that seemed to light up the world around her. She really is the hope in the world, the reason for fighting for so many. I would have given up this life many years ago if not for her. She is the reason why I keep fighting. I don't think she ever realized just how much of an effect she had on the world. Angel only started doing the right thing because he saw her and wanted to help. He does good on his own now, but in the beginning she was the reason. For Spike she was always the reason. The only reason, well either that or a need for violence. However she has had so much influence on the both of them that everything they do that's good in the world is because of her by proxy. Faith too. Buffy saved Angel. Angel saved Faith, and now Faith has been able to help not only herself, but also other girls dealing with issues similar to hers. It never fails to amaze me just how much Buffy affected the world around her. But now she is gone. Forever. That's exactly what Angel whispered when he thought no one was listening "Forever. That's the whole point." I don't know what I'm going to do about the two vampires now. I really only allowed them to stay as long as they did because I knew that was what Buffy wanted, but now that she's gone I can see no reason to keep the both of them here. I'll keep them close to home, yes, after all I'll need to keep a close watch on the both of them. Especially Angel. He seems capable of either doing great good or wreaking terrible destruction depending on the mood he's in and he doesn't seem very stable right now. In fact he refused to talk to anyone except Willow, Spike, and Faith until Dawn and Connor arrived from Rome. I hope they can talk some sense into him before he completely goes off the deep end and does something rash. I'm less worried about Spike. He was more of a nuisance really than anything else. I just hope he keeps his mouth bloody well shut around here. He has a tendency to make everything ten times as painful as it has to be. With Buffy gone he might succeed in driving Angel truly insane. I'll probably send Spike to Rome to help Andrew so that Dawn has time to heal. This will be my final entry on Buffy Anne Summers the girl who did so much to change the way the world worked and made it a better place. She truly is one of the best people I've ever known, and certainly the greatest slayer.
