Noir Héros
VII

It strikes! one, two,
Three, four, five, six. Enough, enough, dear watch,
Thy pulse hath beat enough. Now sleep and rest;
Would thou could'st make the time to do so too;
I'll wind thee up no more.
~Ben Jonson

"Why must you find a way around it, anyway?" Narcissa asked.

Severus looked at the woman as if she'd sprouted a second head. Lucius merely looked calculating. Finally, "She's right you know. Maybe the way around it is to comply with it." Lucius said.

"That's the most absurd thing I've heard all day." Severus drawled condescendingly.

Severus stayed conversing with the two Malfoy's late into the night, determining the quickest and easiest way of securing a wife.

(Bellow is a series of exerts taken from the Daily Prophet, all of which having come off the front page.)

War Hero Wishes to Bond With Lucky Witch

It is with an abundance of joy that The Daily Prophet announces to its readers that Severus Snape is in search of a wife. It was from his own lips that this reporter, Rita Skeeter, learned of the news that the double agent from the war against He-Who-Must-Still-Not-Be-Named is in search of a wife. Not only will one lucky witch get chosen to bear the name Snape; but according to the Last Will and Testament of Eileen Snape, Severus Snape's mother, she will also share in quiet a substantial inheritance. He may have been a catch before, but now he is a prize. Turn to page G6 to read more on Severus Snape and his mother's Last Will and Testament.

Severus Snape Accepting Applications

Early this morning, Lucius Malfoy was heard announcing to a large crowd of Witches, and a few Wizards, that Severus Snape will be accepting applications towards his future betrothal. Distributed in front of the Ministry were several parchments containing a series of questions. These questions ranged from the age of the suitor, to the nature of the suitors employment, and even went as far as to ask what type of wand the suitor wields. This reporter wonders at the validity of these questions in finding a suitable mate, but it can also be said that nearly every available witch, and even a few untraditional Wizards, are hastily submitting their own application.

Severus Snape Inheritance Contested

Yesterday afternoon Dram Torrent and his wife Hannah submitted a claim to the wizardgomment contesting the will left by Eileen Prince. They claim that she was not of sane mind during the drawing of the will, and that any information residing within its pages should not be seen as binding. They have drawn the attention of the court to a previous Will made by Eileen that resided in record. The contents of this Will have yet to be elaborated upon.

Severus Snape was unavailable for questioning.

Randolph Richley, the executer of the will, was willing to make a statement. "It is with great sorrow that I mourn the death of Eileen Prince [I had] been with the family for several decades. I am certain that at the time, and up until her death, Eileen Prince was in complete control of her mind. I have never met a saner woman."

A reporter from the Daily Prophet met with Mr. and Mrs. Torrent, who told a tragic story. "It is an awful thing, losing Eileen; she was like a mother to me. Unfortunately, she did not always think clearly. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Eileen had always been forgetful and she had a hard time staying attached to this world. There were many nights that she sat looking out the parlor window awaiting the son that had abandoned her. She longed for a relationship with Mr. Snape, but in all the years I worked for her he never once came to visit. She had developed a fondness for whiskey, and I find it odd that she would leave such an absorbent amount of her estate to a son who wouldn't even take the time to call on her." Mr. Torrent told the reporter as his wife clung to his arm, letting tears fall freely from her eyes. "We just want for Eileen's estate to be distributed the way we know she wanted it. It hurts my heart to think that she may have been taken advantage of." Mrs. Torrent spoke through a bout of emotion.

This recent finding brings to question many things, including whether or not Severus Snape really is the man of every woman's dreams.

Madame Malfoy Tells All

In an interview with Narcissa Malfoy pertaining to the nature of Severus Snape's ongoing search for a wife, Madame Malfoy tells the eager ears of the awaiting population what type of woman Severus Snape is searching for. "First," She said in an exclusive with a Daily Prophet reporter, "I want to clarify that Severus Snape is indeed searching for a woman." Madame Malfoy went on to tell that, "Severus is looking for a woman who can think on her own. Brains, and a love for books, are a necessity when thinking of a long term relationship with the mysterious man." The Daily Prophet reporter went on to question other specifications that may be required, but was told that neither the length of hair nor the color of a witches eye matters. It seems that Severus Snape's only requirement in a bride be that she's not a complete 'dunderhead'. Before Madame Malfoy departed from her interview, she did manage to drop one tidbit of information for those pinning for Severus Snape's hand. His favorite color is green.

Muggles Take Notice: Wizarding World "Gone Green"

It seems that a large percentage of the Muggle world believes in something called World Warming. It was explained to an undercover Daily Prophet reporter that World Warming is caused by the smoke coming from the fire burning inside the metal boxes the Muggle's use as transportation. These contraptions are called cars, and it is wondered by several of the employee's working for the Daily Prophet why the Muggle's would not simply put the fires out seeing as they are causing so much trouble.

It is by request of the Minister that those venturing into the Muggle world take a greater care in their dress. It seems that several persons have been spotted and photographed in the streets of Muggle London sporting multiple shades of green colored robes. These pictures have been portrayed in several Muggle Prophets, along with being mass distributed through a spider web that the Muggle's have fashioned to connect nearly all of the Muggle population. It is common knowledge in the Muggle world that it was a stunt used to draw attention to the issue of World Warming.

In a measure to keep within the bounds of the security laws, the Minister of Magic has declared that no witch or wizard shall be allowed to wear green into the streets of Muggle London. All those who attempt it, shall be finned and sentenced to one week's worth of home confinement. The Minister also wishes to remind all those venturing into any area populated by Muggles, that they are in fact expect to dress in suitable attire. See page D5 for examples of appropriate Muggle Wear.

Ginny Potter Rushed to St. Mungos

Late last night, a frantic Harry Potter was seen levitating his wife, Ginny Potter, into the maternity ward of St. Mungos. It seems that after returning home from a day with her family, she began to experience sharp pains in her lower region. At first, she thought the baby was merely being a little feisty, as some magical babies can be, but soon realized that something was not right.

Mrs. Potter is not due to give birth for several weeks to come.

While those closest to the Potter family have been seen coming in and out of the ward Mrs. Potter is in, there has been no sighting of Harry Potter. He has taken up residence in his wife's room and refuses to leave her side. The state of the child has yet to be disclosed, but Mrs. Potter's father, Arthur Weasley, is on record as having said, "Ginny has grown to be a strong woman, and she went through delivery most admirably." Due to the severity of the situation, the Medi-witches on staff had been weary to give Ginny the customary numbing potion in case it caused even more complications. "My new granddaughter will be a fighter just like his parents." He then excused himself from the reporters and returned to his family carrying a bag of what looked like clean cloths. Presumably the cloths were for Harry Potter. In the man's rush to get his young wife to the safety of St. Mungos, he'd left in only his sleep shorts; neither shoes nor shirt clothing his body. (Photographs of this incident can be viewed on page E11.)

It is unclear whether the child has made it, but it is assumed that he, based off Arthur Weasley's statement, is fighting for his life.

Is a Madame Snape necessary?

Earlier this morning, a court date was set for the preliminary hearing between Severus Snape and Mr. & Mrs. Torrent. During the courts session the decision to go through with a trial to determine the validity of Eileen Prince's Last Will and Testament will be made based off whether or not Mr. & Mrs. Torrent can show enough evidence to support their claim on Eileen Prince's mental state, or lack thereof. If Mr. & Mrs. Torrent win at the preliminary hearing, not all is lost for Severus Snape. They will still have to go on to a trial in front of the entirety of the wizardgomet and prove that Eileen Prince had in fact been of UNSOUND mind during the signing of her Will. Severus Snape is as elusive as ever in our attempt to get a statement. It is unclear as to whether this is due to grief over the loss of his mother, or anger at the idea of losing out on a fortune he didn't deserve.

Two members of the wizardgomet, chosen at random, will meet with both Severus Snape and Mr. & Mrs. Torrent along with their respective attorneys during the afternoon the day after tomorrow. It is rumored that Severus Snape will go into court with not one attorney backing him up, but two. Randolph Richley is rumored to be headed into court alongside Severus Snape and a fierce attorney who is widely known to be in association with the business of the Malfoy Family; both before and after the war with He-Who-Shall-Never-Be-Named.

I spent so much time… Writing this, for you.
So how about you spend some time… Please, just review.

A/N: I hope you liked this chapter, I know the format is a bit different than what's customary. If you have any questions, please ask. I want to make sure I've gotten all the details right and made them clear. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially to all those who've stuck with me even though I'm awful at timely updates.