Heh heh heh... Yeah... About the slowness...

For one, I'm at my sister and bro-in-law's house and have had to deal with the constant terrors of summer homework, finishing the last Harry Potter book so my sister wouldn't accidentally spoil it for me, having a sick great aunt I've never heard of (LORD, HOW MANY DO I HAVE?! I'm not kidding, I have more than I can effing count... maybe because I ran out of fingers... lol, jk about the fingers thing) in the hospital (she's better now! yay!), write my own original books, eavesdrop for news on my only remaining grandmother (God bless her...), and having the already severely screwy life of me.

But, still, I made a commitment to this and to you, my loyal and loving and hopefully very forgiving readers! This is farther than I've ever gotten in writing a fanfic and more reviews than I've ever gotten for all my other stories combined. I can't express how much I want to hug and give hot, fresh cookies to every single one of you. Damn, now you've made me hungry and it's the middle of the night here so I can't get anything!

IMPORTANT NOTICE: I, AnimeNymph, am officially coping off of my good friend ShinaVirtue and am holding a COVER CONTEST for this story. (sighs and wipes tear from eye) I've always dreamed of this... For one thing, it would give nice input on what your view of the story is, which I've been wanting. Hey, not EVERYTHING can be put in a review (but I would be delighted if you tried!). For another thing, it would be inspiration and help keep me going. It's not mandatory, that would just be plain stupid and I have no control over you people whatsoever, otherwise every person who read the chapter would have a reivew. I would give you credit (and all of you who entered) and hopefully post your entries... somewhere. ...I'm working on it. All in all, it would be fun. Be creative with it! But, just to let you know, I've seen practically every image on Google/Yahoo they have on Ryou and Bakura. Please note that I will NOT be happy if you submit another artist's copyrighted work. That would be a no-no.

Anyway, no matter if you are interested in the above, I'm sure what you really want is the chapter. So here. Now all I really want is some reviews, hot cookies that melt in my mouth, and some good reviews, even though it is kind of a short chapter. As for the money thing, I have one thing to say:

Disclaimer: Looks like I'll have to stick with baby sitting to make money. Why? Because I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh! and am not making any money off this. I know, it disappoints me too. MOURN WITH ME!


Quote: "I'm not crazy… I'm just a little unwell." –'Unwell' by Matchbox 20

3:44 P.M. April 27, 2007

Dear Diary,

I am writing from the local park today; I haven't been able to find peace anywhere else. I haven't written in several days, due to a little bit of the stress that has been following my decision to lose weight. You see, when Malik had first heard the news, he seemed confused for some reason. Marik had passed by in the kitchen, taking a swig of milk straight from the carton, looking at me as if I were crazy! Honestly, as if he could say anything of all people… And then he actually had the gall to respond with:

"What? You mean you're going to be even more of a freaking anorexic than you already are?" He made a disbelieving face, wiping the milk mustache off his face.

"Marik!" Malik scolded. "You don't even know what that word means!"

The psychopath merely shrugged, literally throwing the already-battered carton back into the refrigerator. I could only stare in shock and hurt as he shoved passed me, throwing himself onto the couch.

"C'mon, Ryou," Malik muttered exasperatedly. "Let's continue this upstairs."

By the time I had entered his room, I was second-guessing telling Malik about my diet. He motioned to his bed and I was about to sit when I saw something I wish I hadn't. A thong. Not just any thong, but a black, lacy thong with exotic golden beads hanging off the waist.

"Umm… Malik?"

He glanced over casually before he realized what I was so horrified about. He looked mortified and threw it into his closet, muttering something about "Marik's sense of amusement". I felt better when I realized Marik must've been playing a prank on Malik… hopefully…

"Now," he coughed, blushing as he tried to get over the whole 'thong' incident. "Back to the matter at hand. Why are you going on this diet?"

"You know," I admitted quietly. "Just to lose a little weight, nothing bad…"

"Ryou, you don't need to lose weight. On the contrary! You need to gain weight!"

At this, my heart was engulfed in anger. "Stop it, Malik! I'm not lucky to have a perfect body like you!"

He stood, fire in his eyes. He threw his shirt off and turned, pointing at the long tattoos across his back. "You call this a perfect body, Ryou?!"

"Shut up!" I shrieked, shutting my eyes and covering my ears in an attempt to rid myself of the cruel words. "I didn't mean it like that!"

"Then watch what you say!"

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"Shut up, you stupid whore!"

"Leave me alone, yami!"

At this, we both went silent, shocked at what I had said. I breathed shallowly, choking on my breath and tears. I looked up at Malik, staring, shirtless, at me. He looked unbelievably hurt, as if I had smacked him across the face. But, soon, however, that look was replaced with a face filled with fury and rage. It was only then that I remembered Malik's anger issues. His psychiatrist wouldn't be happy with me.

"Get. Out." He hissed.

"Malik, I didn't realize what I was sa---"

"GET OUT, YOU FILTHY BITCH!" He screamed.

I tripped over an article of clothing as I speedily tried to escape, tears in my eyes.

"I HATE YOU! GET OUT!" He kept repeating that phrase over and over again, and it remains in my head as fresh as paint.

Marik didn't try to stop me when I flung open the door while sobbing my eyes out. He stared at me for a moment and watched me bound down the street, curses still resounding from the house before he closed the door to deal with his hikari.

Well… screw Malik. I don't need him. Once I've lost enough weight and Bakura is happy, he'll realize his big mistake. …But I have to admit that it is my fault too. I'll apologize later, after I've sorted some of my own life out. I'm just so confused. I thought he would be happy for me and my decision!

Well, I'll show him. I'm on a roll. I already feel a little lighter (but that's only the beginning!). Soon, I'll be so skinny, Bakura will have to love me! Errrr… I didn't mean actual love, heh heh heh… I just meant… well, you get the point, right?

Sincerely,

Ryou Bakura


Quote: "Teenagers scare the living shit out of me." –Teenagers by My Chemical Romance

---Dieary

I called Malik. It seems as if the only way I can get information out of anything is reading Ryou's diary. I haven't had time to do that tonight, though I know he's written in it today. And, he's out somewhere. I don't think at Malik's, no, Malik hasn't called in a while to ask Ryou over (which, according to Marik, is all the time he and Malik aren't having sex).

…I need to have a chat with them about that. I can't have Ryou being more of a pervert than he already is. Then, he'd probably end up like that scary version of Ryou from that fanfic, "Hentai Ryou". (1)

Malik knows something I don't, and I intend to get to the bottom of it or it'll be the last thing Malik will do! I'm Ryou's yami and I deserve to know what the hell is wrong with my yadonushi! Because, I swear, whatever it is, I will stab it with the bluntest spoon known to mankind. Why a spoon, you ask? Well, it's quite simple really.

BECAUSE IT'S DULL, YOU TWIT; IT'LL HURT MORE!!!

Need I go on further?

His behavior lately has not impressed me. And he's fucking FAINTED. TWICE!!! How am I supposed to live with myself when I have such an idiot hikari? I'm pretty sure it has something to do with this whole "diet" thing, but I thought it was just another stupid phase, like the whole phase of "COFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEECOFFEE!" that he went through for a while. To tell the truth, that rather reminded me of my "BEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEERBEER!" (1) phase I had when I was around his age. But that's a WHOLE other story. I never had this one that he's going through now…

…Okay, so I had a thing about wanting an awesome chest, doesn't everyone? Ra, what do you people want from me? Perfection? Because, in case you've missed out, for the past few millennia, I've been stuck in a mother fucking piece of JEWELRY. Once that was over, I inhabited the body of an albino, teenage, virgin, girly boy who thinks he's fat. People, I have every reason to be the way I am now. (eye twitch, eye twitch)

And that, my audience (you didn't honestly think you were my friend, right, YOU STUPID PIECE OF--- crap, a page just fell out…), is where I must take my leave. I hear the doorbell.

---Bakura, The King of Thieves and Jewelry Owned by Girly Albino Boy


(1) I do NOT own ANY part of "Hentai Ryou" by Vada via cretino. LOOK IT UP AND READ IT!!! It is the most hilarious fanfic EVER!!!

(2) I found somewhere that they DID have beer back in Ancient Egypt, for those of you who are like "WTF???"

Please review!!!