Title: The Blind Date
Chapter: 7/25
Summary: Elrond and Bilbo decide to set up their two respective best friends on a date. After all revenge was in order. AU- set in modern times.
Genre: Humour, drama, romance.
Warnings: slash, references to m-preg and non-con in later chapters. Some OOC simply because this is an AU, which means Thranduil and Thorin do not hate each other or have any history prior to their blind date.
An important character comes to play
Also because this chapter is short, I'm posting 7 and 8 today :)
Chapter 7
"Are you sure?" Thranduil asked, "I do not wish to impose!"
Elrond had just told him Arwen was having a birthday party in two weeks time; he insisted on calling Thorin as well. Thranduil was unsure though; he and Thorin had been together for almost four months but it was a little imposing on Elrond's family.
"Thranduil, Thorin is a good friend of Bilbo," Elrond smiled, "And I have called Bilbo; Arwen and the twins insisted on inviting their little hobbit friends. Besides, Rumil will be there- he is the same age as Kíli."
"I'm not sure Rumil is a good thing for Kíli," Thranduil said, "That child is the spawn of a balrog."
"WHERE!? I'LL KILL IT!" Ecthelion barged into the room, brandishing a hairbrush. Elrond and Thranduil exchanged sighs and raised eyebrows.
"Nowhere, go back and finish braid your hair," Elrond said with a sigh. Ecthelion left the room, "I really need to send him to a psychiatrist. Come now, Rumil isn't that bad."
"He fed Glorfindel laxatives when he was only three; who knows how he found them," Thranduil replied. "He put a live spider in their shower the same day. I heard Erestor screaming from my place!"
"Well that was two years ago," Elrond shrugged, "And it was a daddy long-leg, those spiders are pathetic!"
"Well to Erestor, all spiders are giant Dol Guldor monsters," Thranduil said, "Not that I blame his over-reaction. He was surrounded by several of those confounded things. He was rather lucky Glorfindel managed to find him in time. When they did finally get to the palace, he was barely conscious- he was bitten over nine times- Father was surprised he still drew breath. Actually, in his delusional state he spoke of returning to Imladris; something about paperwork."
"Of course he did," Elrond chuckled.
"Rondy, have you seen my silver hair clip?" Ecthelion asked. "The one with the dwarvish patterns?"
"Yes, you put by the nightstand," Elrond sighed, "If his head wasn't screwed on…"
Thranduil chuckled, "I better head off; Legolas! We are leaving! Thorin's coming over tonight."
"Ooooooooooooh," Ecthelion said childishly.
"Shut up," Elrond and Thranduil said together.
"Hello, beautiful," Thorin grabbed the elf by the collar of his shirt and pulled him down for a kiss, "You are too tall."
"And you are too short," Thranduil smirked, he knelt down to hug the two dwarflings, "Have you two been good for your uncle?"
"No," Fíli said, shaking his head, "We made a mess in our bedroom and wouldn't clean it up."
"Well at least you are honest," Thranduil grinned, Thorin snorted. "Come, Legolas is playing outside- dinner isn't ready yet- it will be soon."
"Yay! Uncle Thorin made us cereal this morning, he didn't put enough milk," Fíli complained. Kíli made an angry face, shaking his head at his uncle in disappointment.
"Oh, go and play! Be happy I made you something to eat!" Thorin snorted, as Thranduil chuckled. "I'm starving!"
"Oh don't start," Thranduil laughed as the boys ran off to find Legolas. "Oh, Elrond has asked me to invite you and the boys over for Arwen's birthday; will you come? I would like to show you off."
"What am I? A hand bag?" Thorin chuckled, he sobered up thoughtfully and continued, "I don't know, Thranduil- won't I be imposing."
"That's what I said," Thranduil shrugged, "But Elrond insists. Bilbo will be there…"
"Okay, when is it?" Thorin smiled.
"It's in two weeks time," Thranduil smiled back, "July 27th."
"Oh, I've actually got my cousin's son with me that weekend," Thorin said, frowning. "Glóin and his wife are going away on their tenth year anniversary. Gimli is staying with the boys and I that weekend."
"How old is he?"
"Four," Thorin said, frowning, "I can't come then."
"Yes you can, bring him along," Thranduil said, "I know Elrond will say yes if I call him, just ask your cousin. Text him now."
Thorin smirked, "Text Elrond then."
"Okay," Thranduil nodded, he quickly sent Elrond a message. Beside him Thorin did the same. The two stared at each other, moved closer and kissed as their phones chimed together. Thorin's beeped while Thranduil's quacked. The dwarf was not in the least bit surprised. "Fine by Elrond!"
"Fine by Glóin as well!" Thorin grinned, "Good, you'll love Gimli!"
Thranduil smiled, "I know I will- now, will you help me with dinner; you can prepare the salad."
"Okay, oh, by the way, I've got a whole heap of zoo vouchers," Thorin said with a big smile. "They were delivered to work by accident in this kids magazine- kids get in free when an adult pays. I have eleven of them. I was thinking we could go with the boys, Gimli, Ori, Elrond's twins and Arwen, and Bilbo's nephew- I still have two more tickets available and we need more adults- we have the vouchers so I ain't paying for no kid!"
"Well, I suppose there is Rumil and Orophin," Thranduil said, "And I suppose Erestor and Glorfindel could come- when do the tickets expire?"
"End of October," Thorin said.
"We can organise it during the party," Thranduil shrugged, "I will tell Galadriel and Celeborn too."
"Are you ready?" Thranduil called up standing by the stairs. Legolas strolled in from the kitchen. "Ah, there you are, I thought you were in your room. You ready?"
"Yeap," Legolas replied.
"Yeap? You have been spending too much time with Fíli," Thranduil chuckled. "Come now, we need to get to Uncle Elrond's. So we can help."
"Okay," Legolas nodded, he followed his father outside and waited until the older elf locked the door. Taking his father's hand he skipped alongside down the pathway. "What are we going to help with?"
"Everything," Thranduil smiled, "Balloons, streamers and more. Wait! We forgot Arwen's present!"
The two elves dashed back to the house, retrieving the gift before they made their way back to Elrond's. When they finally arrived they entered directly into the backyard- Erestor and Glorfindel were putting up streamers (Or rather Erestor was putting up streamers; Glorfindel was trying not to get tangled) the twins, Arwen and Orophin were blowing balloons up. He spotted Galadriel, through the window, inside the kitchen- cutting up salads; Rumil sat besides her watching quietly. Celeborn popped up behind his wife and began to nibble on her neck- a moment later he was dashing out of the kitchen; Galadriel looked rather angry as Rumil looked on amused.
Ecthelion was by the barbeque trying to lit the fire. The lighter in his hand wasn't cooperating.
"Here let me try," Celeborn said, Ecthelion handed the lighter to the silver-haired elf.
"Be my guest, I've been trying for minutes now," Ecthelion said.
"Do you smell gas?" Celeborn asked as he switched on the lighter with a blast.
The children screamed as Celeborn and Ecthelion (who of course screamed louder then the children) stood there covered in soot. Erestor slipped off the ladder in surprise but fortunately Glorfindel caught him; even in his own fright. Elladan's balloon flew around the backyard making an obscene sound as it went.
"You balrog slaying nitwit!" Celeborn snapped, when he recovered from the shock. "Why didn't you tell me the gas was on!?"
"You smelt it! Why did you lit it!?" Ecthelion said, his voice cracking. Thranduil started laughing as Glorfindel slowly made his way over.
"Well, at least the fire's going," Glorfindel said, pointing to the fire crackling. "I think the two of you need to be delegated into balloon blowing- Rumil would probably cause less damage with the fire."
The said boy was eying the fire, his eyes ablaze. A newcomer entered the backyard.
"Don't even think about it Rumil," Haldir said, sharply. Rumil pouted and ran over to his middle brother; "Have you been keeping an eye out on him, Orophin."
"Aye," Orophin sighed. Elladan made an obscene gesture in Haldir's general direction.
"He looks after him more then you," Elrohir said, rudely. "Jerk!"
"Don't you lot start again," Ecthelion warned. "Haldir, go and help Galadriel with the salads. You want to learn how to wield a sword; start with the mini-version!"
Haldir nodded, vigorously and took off; eager to please the darkhaired balrog slayer. Thranduil and Erestor exchanged looks, smirking. It was the world's worst kept secret that the young Haldir had the hugest crush on both balrog slayers! Erestor rather enjoyed tormenting the uptight teenager whenever he'd spot the teen staring at Glorfindel. The balrog slayers loved it though; the boy was so eager to please, waiting hand and foot at times for an order from the two. For Glorfindel it came in handy if he was thirsty or hungry!
"Will he stare at us all night again?" Ecthelion asked, facing Glorfindel.
"He will stare at you only," Erestor said, "For if I catching him staring!"
"Oh stop being cruel," Celeborn chuckled at the expense of his son. "It's his first crush!"
"I know, that's why I like to tease him," Erestor smirked.
"I'm sure he thinks you hate him," Thranduil said, "He never looks you in the eye."
"That's because I am terrifying," Erestor said, while behind his back Glorfindel nodded his agreement.
"Spider," Elrond said, bluntly. Erestor squealed and jumped.
"That's not funny!"
"You're late, I'm going to assume you lost your way," Thranduil chuckled as he kissed the dwarf.
"How'd you know? Thorin said earnestly.
"How indeed?" Elrond smirked, "Hello Fíli, Hello Kíli. This must be Gimli."
"Hello," Gimli's gruff little voice sounded. Glorfindel looked at the child oddly.
"Was that his voice?" Glorfindel asked, as Legolas hugged Thorin across the leg. The dwarf ruffled his hair gently. Thorin smirked and nodded, "That is the cutest thing I've ever heard! That's the deepest voice I've ever heard on a child."
"You should hear him sing, Twinkle Little Star," Thorin smirked. Gimli looked at his uncle and shook his head.
"You sing, I'm gonna go play," Gimli said, he grabbed a hold of Kíli and pulled him along. "Look a jumpy castle!"
"Wait for me and Leggy," Fíli said, dragging Legolas along.
"Me too!" Rumil came barging through knocking Glorfindel over.
"Oi! You oversized squirrel!" Glorfindel roared. "Aiya! That child!"
"Bilbo isn't here yet?" Thorin asked following Thranduil to the table. The elf shook his head and pulled the dwarf near as he sat down. "I miss you."
"It's only been three days," Thranduil smiled.
"I still missed you," Thorin smiled back. "And Fíli wouldn't stop asking about you or Legolas. I'm sure Kíli would say so as well. He practically dragged us to the car."
"His actions speak louder then words," Thranduil said.
"Obviously, considering the boy is mute," Thorin smirked. "Is that an art table?"
"Yes, Arwen loves painting," Thranduil smiled.
"Once Kíli sees it, he won't be moved," Thorin said, proudly. "He spends hours drawing!"
Rumil eyed the three newcomers, suspiciously. He knew Legolas, he saw him almost every week; he knew the twins; he hated them. He liked Arwen, his brother Orophin was a dork but he wondered who were the three shorter children; they weren't elves; they looked too messy, and hairy! Legolas seemed to like them; Elladan and Elrohir continued to talk to the smallest of the dwarflings; a red-haired deep-voiced child. Legolas played alongside Fíli jumping in the castle as Kíli sat with Arwen painting. Pippin, Arwen's friend had just arrived with his cousin Frodo and Bilbo.
Of course, his father, Celeborn sat by the barbeque smoking with Mr Baggins. The young elfling wondered if the white wizard would appear.
Glorfindel and Ecthelion sat with Haldir between them, listening intently to the past warriors retelling stories of old and boring, thought Rumil, as he stood up and walked over to Arwen, he sat beside her, opposite of Kíli and Pippin.
"What are you painting?" Rumil asked, looking at Kíli's work.
Kíli pointed at his work and shrugged.
"He doesn't talk," Arwen said.
"Why? Is he stupid?" Rumil asked, bluntly. Kíli glared at him, hotly.
"No, he doesn't want to talk," Arwen said, "Now don't be rude or I will tell Naneth!"
"Fine," Rumil grunted, "You're still a baby."
"I'm still older then you," Arwen growled. Kíli's eyes narrowed when he noticed Arwen's eyes watering, he delivered the blonde boy a swift kick under the table. Rumil yelped as Kíli feigned innocence, continuing his painting. "Don't start, Rumil. Stop being a jerk!"
"You better not be bothering our sister," Elladan said as he sat on one side of the younger elfling. Elrohir took the other side while Orophin sat beside Pippin and picked up a paintbrush.
"You're not gonna ruin her birthday," Elrohir warned.
"Unless if you want me to tell Nana Galadriel and Haldir what really happened to Ada Celeborn's tie," Orophin warned. Rumil pouted and glared at his brother. "Don't look at me like that. Be nice to your friends while you still have a few."
"Go away," Rumil said; "I have more friends then you. Animals don't count!"
He looked directly at the twins. Kíli smiled at the comment while Elladan poked the younger elf in the side, sharply. Rumil winced but didn't retaliate; the twins were more devilish then he was- they were the only people present he'd never clash with intentionally. Fíli and Legolas joined now along with Gimli; the children chatting comfortably with one another, Fíli seemed to be the only person who involved Rumil in the conversation; Everyone else was ignoring him again, and it was staring to anger the elfling; he was sick of being ignored. The elfling smirked as he stared at Elladan's painting of a dog. It was rather feeble; the dark-haired dwarfling was a better artist; and apparently Orophin agreed.
"Dan- he draws better then you," Orophin pointed at the child's painting of a house by a lake. "that's really cool! Do you like to draw?"
Kíli smiled, nodding, thankfully at the elf.
"All he does is draw and play with Lego," Fíli sighed, "I wish I could do that- no school."
"That would be the life," Elladan agreed, "Anyway, I'm going back on the jumping castle. You four coming?"
Orophin, Fíli and Elrohir nodded as they rose. Frodo followed but not before he grabbed a few lollies.
"I wanna come too!" Rumil said, but before he even finished his sentence the response was an overwhelming no. Rumil pouted and turned back to his half finished picture.
"Let's play hide and seek," Arwen said, rising from her chair. Legolas, Pippin and Fíli jumped up excited as Gimli turned to his cousin.
"Are you coming, Kíli?" he asked, Kíli nodded and ran after the group. Rumil sighed; he stood up and walked in the opposite direction of the group. He looked over his shoulder to find Celeborn engrossed in a game of chess with his son-in-law while Galadriel, being the only woman present, was arm-wrestling with Glorfindel. Haldir was watching intently, of course enthralled by the balrog slayer.
He quickly slid out of the backyard and made his way towards the front veranda. He sat himself down with a heavy sigh as he looked out at the setting sun.
"That kid just snuck out to the front," Thorin said, his eyes narrowing.
"Who?" Thranduil asked, concerned, the neighbourhood was safe; but all the children were quite young and defenceless.
"The one with the blonde hair, he looks the same age as Legolas,"
"Rumil, who else would disobey the rules and do whatever he pleases," Thranduil sighed, "I better go get him; before Galadriel or Celeborn notice and ground him. Or worse Haldir- he will overreact, cause a scene and frustrate Celeborn."
"I'll go- I forgot Arwen's gift in the car," Thorin said, "I'll draw less attention then you."
"Okay," Thranduil nodded. Thorin stood up and made his way towards his car.
Rumil sunk behind the bushes, his eyes widening in fright. There was a figure standing by his uncle's car trying to break into it, a crowbar in hand. The boy swallowed; willing himself not to make a sound, but failed miserably when a hand touched his shoulder; he let out a high-pitched scream startling Thorin and the intruder.
Whoever the thief was turned around and made an attempt to run but was thwarted by the uneven ground. Thorin watched as the body tumbled to the ground and let out a pained cry. The voice sounded youthful and scared.
"Rumil, stay there," Thorin warned as he advanced on the figure. "You! What do you think you're doing?!"
The figure gasped and scrambled to his feet only to be thrown into the car he was trying to break into moments before, Thorin's large forearms kept him at bay. Thorin got a quick glimpse of the person- a teenager, no older then eighteen.
"Let me go, please!" the teen pleaded helplessly.
"Thorin?" Thranduil came rushing out with the other elves who heard the youngster's scream. Galadriel picked the startled child up and held him close. "What's going on?"
"This little punk was trying to break into Elrond's car," Thorin growled.
"OH COME ON! HE SCRATCHED THE PAINT JOB!" Ecthelion roared, the boy shrunk into himself and into Thorin; using the dwarf as a shield.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, please," the boy panicked, "I wasn't after the car- I just wanted the burger!"
"What?!" Elrond asked, "Ecthelion did you leave your rubbish in my car again!?"
Thranduil looked over Thorin's shoulder and gasped, this was a face he knew.
"Aragorn? It is you!"
"What?!" Celeborn asked, startled. "Are you sure?"
"I'm the prince of Greenwood- don't you think I'd recognize the prince of Gondor!" Thranduil snapped, though he whispered the last three words.
"No, I'm not Aragorn!" he quickly denied, struggling even harder. "Please- I'll leave you wont see me again!"
"Get him inside now," Thranduil said, looking around, "Before we are overheard! Now!"
"No! NO-umpph!" Glorfindel covered the teenager's mouth as he and Ecthelion dragged him back until they were inside the house, they deposited him unkindly onto the couch- Ecthelion was still rather angry about the damage to the car. The boy looked terrified as he looked around nervously; trying to find a way to escape. Several large elves, a bulky dwarf and a startled looking hobbit surrounded him. There was no way out. "Don't hurt me."
"No one will hurt you," Thranduil said, soothingly, he knelt beside the boy but still kept a distance between them- he didn't fancy being kicked. "Do you not remember me? We met when you were around ten, maybe older; it was a few years ago. In Greenwood?"
Aragorn looked at the elf, slowly recognizing one of his captors- he recalled being enthralled by the elf- he was rather handsome- he still was.
"My name is Thranduil," he smiled, "These are my friends and family. No one here will hurt you."
"Are you hungry?" Elrond asked. The boy peeked up slightly; hope filled his eyes at the thought of food. "We're having a barbeque- you are more then welcome."
"Even after you ruined our car," Ecthelion said, bluntly. Aragorn looked back at his feet as Glorfindel slapped his best friend across the chest.
"This wouldn't have happened if you threw out your rubbish," Elrond snapped.
"Sorry I tackled you, I thought you were an orc," Thorin said, "I overreacted because I had a child with me."
"What was Rumil doing there?" Haldir said, angrily. "That boy-"
"-He was following me," Thorin said, interrupting the ranting elf-teen. "He was fine- just startled- I think he came to the same conclusion as I did."
"I'm not an orc," Aragorn growled, his eyes blazed with anger. "I hate orcs- they- they-"
"We know," Thranduil said, "We also know that Denethor has something to do with this."
"They were under his orders," Aragorn shook in his seat; his eyes looking haunted.
"You are safe here," Elrond said, "You are among allies, and family."
"Huh?" Thorin grunted, as Aragorn raised a brow.
"I don't have a family," Aragorn said, his voice hollow. "They were all killed."
"You do," Elrond said, "You are the descendent of my twin brother; Elros. We are half-human, he chose the life of a man- he perished but his bloodline lives. You are my family and you are more then welcome to stay here with my family."
Aragorn shook slightly; biting his lip. His eyes watered and his throat was heavy with emotion. He pushed it all back; he couldn't stay- he didn't know the elf. He could be setting him up- Denethor and his men could be on the doorstep. He had to leave.
"Aragorn," Thranduil said softly. "I know you have been on the run for some time now, alone and without a friend; why don't you stay the night, eat and get some rest before you decide on running again. You will be safe here, until we work out how to reclaim your throne."
"You promise I can leave in the morning," Aragorn asked, still shivering. "I wont have to stay if I don't want too?"
"You wont have to stay," Elrond said, though disappointed, "But you will always have a home here."
"Why? You barely know me! I fucked up your car," Aragorn said, bluntly. Elrond's brow rose. "Sorry."
"I have three impressionable children," Elrond said, softly, "Watch your language."
Aragorn nodded, and then looked up at the elf eagerly. "You promised a meal?"
"Come and eat outside with us," Celeborn said. "You must be famished, there is plenty of food, see we have a hobbit and a dwarf in our company and well, they eat more then all of us elves, combined."
"I'll have you know, that I skipped second breakfast today!" Bilbo said, wagging a finger at the elf, who grinned at him.
"Ada! Ada! Guess what-" Legolas came barging into the room, stopping before the prince of Gondor with a raised brow, "You look terrible."
"Legolas!"
Yes, I had to put that line from TT in the movie- It always made me laugh. Instead of "OMG Aragorn you're alive! I'm so happy!" its "You look Terrible!"
