Backstage #7 - Getting Real Meta Up In Here

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"Doctor, we're losing him! Blood pressure still dropping!"

Careful, steady hands squeezed the long-nosed forceps, grasping the twisted shard of metal right beside the frantically pulsing artery. The tiny nick was spraying blood with every beat. "I've got it. Removing."

The tiny clink the shrapnel made as it landed in the collection tray held out by the shaking nurse was inaudible over the sounds of approaching gunfire and mortar impacts that had been steadily marching closer.

"Nurse, another transfusion. I'm stitching the artery now."

No hands hung any blood. Gendo frowned, his hands moving in a precise, utterly steady blur. "Nurse, I've stitched the artery, but Caporal Dumont needs that transfusion no-"

A terrified whimper followed by harsh silence made him lift his head from the wounded Legionnaire and look over his shoulder.

The sweating young Hutu man snapped his AK-47 from the petrified nurse to Gendo for a moment, then back. "Do not move! You are my prisoners!" he shouted in accented French.

"Son, you want to put that rifle down and let me finish sewing this man up," Gendo said calmly.

The gunman twitched his rifle a fraction more to the left and fired at the wounded man on the operating table. Caporal Dumont now needed that transfusion far more urgently, blood spurting from the ruined mess of his left calf.

The gunman swung his rifle back at the medical team. "I said you ar-"

He looked down in confusion at the hilt of the stiletto protruding from his chest. He had time for a single blink before he crumpled to the floor.

Gendo completed his motion and caught the AK-47 before it hit the floor, tossing it to one of the orderlies that was slowly lowering his hands. "Take this. Make sure no one else barges in like that."

The orderly blinked in shock as he awkwardly caught the gun. He hadn't even seen Gendo move. "Y-Yes sir!"

Gendo spared one look at the corpse on the floor. "I told you you wanted to put that rifle down," he muttered in Japanese. He snapped his fingers at the nurse. "Hey, snap out of it. We've got a Legionnaire to save. Transfusion, now."

A thunderous crash outside heralded another mortar impacting, this time close enough shrapnel pinged and tore through the medical tent. The nurse collapsed to the ground, clutching at her leg with a scream.

"I do not have time for this..." Gendo muttered, hands moving faster. Caporal Dumont was bleeding faster.

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Gendo sat up, gasping, shaking off the dream-memory. Rwanda. Again. They hadn't been able to save Caporal Dumont. The next mortar shell had landed on the medical tent barely 10m from him. Dumont had died absorbing the shrapnel that would have killed Gendo. He'd barely been able to save Nurse Roche. He'd done it while literally standing over the body of that random Rwandan man, his blood soaking into Gendo's shoes.

He shot a look at the clock on the night table. 1047. He'd managed to nap for barely an hour. He didn't have to be on set again until 1530. Plenty of time to relax and sleep some more. Maybe. He reached for the bong by his bed and quickly packed a bowl. Getting back to sleep after these dreams was never easy. Nightmares of blood and death and people he couldn't save... drugs helped. Acting, pretending he was someone else, it wasn't just a profession. It was walking therapy. Physician, heal thyself...

"It'd be a damn sight easier to get to sleep if you'd shut up with the overwrought narration. These are supposed to be cracky humor bits of action backstage. Now you're going all 'oooh, let's give Gendo a tragic backstory!' like this is the main plot. Sweet Buddha's tits, just let me smoke this weed and relax," Gendo complained.

...I'm sorry, did you just start arguing with your story's narration?

"Yes, I did. You're too loud, overly dramatic, and trying to inject blood and drama to crack drabbles."

Crack drabbles? The last one got over 1500 words! It took hours! And... hey, wait a minute! You're not allowed to argue with the narration! Who do you think you are, Wade Wilson?

"Well, I sometimes am high enough I start fights with imaginary copies of Hugh Jackman. Does that count?"

Oh for fuck's sake. Alright, I'm just going to pretend this never happened and you're just high as balls. Try not to bash your stupid head through the fourth wall in the next part, okay?

Gendo looked down at the bowl. "Oh yeah, baby. This is the good shit, mixed in with a little bit of 'shrooms. I'm so high, I'm arguing with the little yellow boxes again."

I don't use little yellow boxes, you twit. This is text! Now stop that, I'm about to cue your son and his wife.

"Don't tell me that, I don't know about that part yet."

Shut up.

There was a tentative knock at the door to his trailer. He let the latest hit from the bong trickle out of his nose slowly. "Come on in, son," he called.

Shinji opened the door and entered, sniffing at the familiar scent in the air. "Uh... hi, dad. Trouble sleeping again? I... wait, how did you know it was me?"

"It was an inspired guess. Also, you're the one who comes to see me most often, m'boy. And the Director usually pounds on the door like he's trying to break it down." He waved at the chair on the other side of the trailer. "Come on in and have a seat. What's on your mind, son? You look like you've got some heavy duty news for me."

Shinji stepped inside, revealing Asuka right behind him. "Ah... hi, Mister Ikari. I hope we didn't wake you up or anything."

Gendo waved the hand unoccupied by the bong. "Nonsense, I'm always happy to see you! And I told you, call me Gendo! 'Mister Ikari' makes me feel like you're a Production Assistant trying to get my attention, not my son's beautiful girlfriend!"

Asuka blushed and followed Shinji in. She awkwardly took the chair after Shinji waved his hand, refusing to sit while she stood. "Um, thank you, sir. I... um... that's kind of what we're here about."

"Calling me Gendo? Ok, well, that's kind of done. Unless we're going back in time, which would be cool, since that would mean my trailer is a TARDIS."

Asuka blinked, and looked at Shinji in confusion. Shinji shrugged.

"Er... dad, we wanted to tell you something," Shinji began.

"You two got married, didn't you?"

Both of Shinji and Asuka's jaws dropped. There was ten seconds of silence before Shinji unfroze. "I... dad, how the Hell did you know that?"

"I may have developed psychic powers from all the drug use. Or the narrator accidentally told me. Or," Gendo smiled. "I've been expecting that to happen for weeks now, and I win that bet with Pen Pen. He thought you'd wait until after we shot the Armisael scene. Come on, son, you and that wonderful girl are so gaga for each other, even that Horaki kid finally noticed, and she's blind as a bat to romance and social interaction."

Asuka covered her face as she fought down the blush, then sighed. "Yes, we did, Gen... father." She reached into her blouse and pulled out a chain with a elegant silver and diamond ring dangling from it. She took the ring off the chain and handed it to Shinji. He smiled as he slid it onto her left ring finger. She smiled back and stroked the side of his face once the ring was on her.

"Ah... yeah, dad. Two weeks ago, in fact. That little 'getaway' to Vegas was... not quite as we told the paparazzi," Shinji said. "We just... wanted it to be our secret for a bit. But... we decided you should know too."

Gendo smiled. "Son, I've never been prouder of you. If only your mother could see you now."

"Isn't she coming to the set next week to do her voiceovers?"

"Yeah, but that's next week! I want to tell her now!"

Shinji shook his head, smiling ruefully. "I should have known we wouldn't be able to really surprise you with this, dad. You know me too well."

"Eh, I'm just a weird old dude who's been around the block a bit, son. You know nothing makes me happier than seeing you do well and walk your own road. And now you've got the best thing in the world: someone you can trust to walk it with you all the way to the end." He nodded at Asuka. "And you, m'dear, please take care of my boy. He's headstrong and wants to live up to his old man's wild life, but I always tell him I'll be proud of him no matter what. He needs someone like you to keep him level. And he has never been so head-over-heels for a girl ever. He wouldn't stop talking about you, that first week!"

Asuka ducked her head again, blushing. "Y-Yeah, well... I kinda like him too. I'm glad you're... not mad or anything that we kept this to ourselves for a bit. I was... kind of intimidated at suddenly being a part of the Ikari family. I mean, your wife is a member of the Diet, and you're..." Asuka waved her hands. "Gendo Ikari. International adventurer, doctor, and actor!"

"You're fine, Asuka," Gendo made a calming gesture. "I'm just a guy like Shinji. I had a foolish youth of wild times and distant memories. It's nicer to be here now, seeing my boy grow up and meet a lovely woman like you. You two will do fine."

Asuka shook her head. "It's hard, sir. Shinji's told me so many stories about you, it's hard to believe you're not a comic-book hero or something."

Gendo shrugged. "I'm just a dad, proud of his son. Don't worry about my past. It's not worth dwelling on. Look to your future." He grinned. "And brace yourselves for when my dear Yui arrives. You know she won't be able to stop herself from asking about one particular thing before the first day is over..."

Asuka shook her head, unable to guess. She looked to Shinji.

Shinji had gone pale and nervous. "Uh oh..." He looked back at Asuka. "Babies," he whispered.