Everyday Life is Hell For Squall
Chapter 7: Force Your Way
After wandering around in the tomb for over an hour, Zell finally realized they were lost – something Squall had realized himself just over 59 minutes ago.
"So, Squally, what do we do now?" Rinoa asked, looking around the damp tomb fearfully.
Squall turned to her, "Well, we- "
"Smoke a blunt and wander around some more?" Zell suggested a big smile on his face at the thought of the idea.
"Great idea, Zell!" Squall said a look of mock praise on his face, causing Zell to beam happily, until the look on Squall's face disappeared and he whacked the martial artist over the head. "Not! You dumbass, did you forget we don't have any blunts left?!"
"Oh... ow... right..." Zell mumbled, rubbing his head.
"-so you're saying that if we kill these teenagers for you, the one in blue in specific, you'll get us a library for our delightful home that you humans call a tomb?" The oldest of the Brothers, Minotaur, said in a small voice, a nerdy pair of glasses on his face.
"I'D REALLY LOVE ME SOME BOOKS. I'D ESPESIALLY LIKE TO KNOW THAT THESE 'LOWER CASE LETTERS' MY BROTHER KEEPS TALKING ABOUT ARE!" Sacred practically screamed, in his booming voice.
"Uh, sure, why not," Random Gang Fucker shrugged. "Just as long as you keep the girl's body undamaged, then it's all good."
Minotaur smiled. "very well. brother, let us get to business."
"YEAH LET'S GO KILL THOSE HUMAN FUC-"
"brother." Minotaur frowned, "what have i told you about using foul language?"
Sacred lowered his head. "SORRY BRO."
They left, leaving Random Gang Fucker alone with the echo of Sacred's voice.
"Hehehe..." His face twisted into an evil smile, "I've won... Just as Planned."
After another hour of wandering they somehow found themselves in the center tomb.
Squall looked around, before he shrugged. "I honestly have no idea how the hell we ended up here."
Rinoa quickly latched onto his shoulder. "Oh, Squally! You're so smart, leading us to this place unconsciously!"
"Yeah I guess I did." Squall murmured... before his eyes widened. I just... agreed with her! He quickly ran over to one of the ancient coffins and threw up.
"Oh, damn!" Zell shouted laughing happily. "That was an awesome vomit!"
Squall walked away from his sick while wiping his mouth, "You're an idiot, Zell."
"AND SO ARE YOU, EMO BOY!" Sacred screamed, coming up from the coffin covered in Squall's vomit. "I WAS HIDING IN THERE TO AMBUSH YOU! AND YOU JUST THREW UP ON ME!"
Squall shrugged. "Whatever."
"WELL THIS TIME I'VE GOT MY BIG BRO WITH ME AND ME AND HIM ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND IT IS GOING TO BE EXTREMELY BRUTAL AND THERE WILL BE LOTS OF BLOOD AND-"
"brother," Minotaur said, coming out from behind a coffin, "there is no need to be so loud."
"SORRY AGAIN BRO." Sacred shouted apologetically.
"hmph. you're forgiven.. again." Looking over at Squall and co, Minotaur frowned. "these beat you?"
"YEAH THAT EMO ONE IN THE LEATHER IS TOUGHER THAN HE LOOKS."
"impressive" Minotaur raised his weapon. "now die!"
"You know. I grow tired of you guys." With a sigh, Squall threw his Gunblade at Sacred, it impaling him where it had last time.
"AH SHIT."
"Flare." Squall incanted, the spell obliterating Sacred and leaving behind nothing but Squall's Gunblade.
"ah... maybe now is a good time to run?" Minotaur turned tail and ran – or at least he tried to, for he had been grabbed by Zell.
"Hey there, bitch." Zell said with a creepy smiled on his face, "I think you dropped the soap. Are you going to pick it up?"
"err?" Minotaur blinked, utterly confused.
"Well, if you're not..." Zell's face twisted into one of glee as he folded him into a ball and passed Squall the smaller brother's club. "This is a huge drive for Squall! He should break slightly to the left!" Zell shouted in an announcer voice.
Rearing back, Squall swung the club at Minotaur just as Zell dropped him. "FOUR!" And smacked Minotaur into god knows where.
Later...
"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE GOT TURNED INTO GUARDIAN FORCES!"
"it's not that hard to believe, brother." Minotaur said slowly, before he let out a sigh. "i just hope we're not junctioned to one with the tattoo. putting up with one idiot is hard enough, let alone living in one."
