Disclaimer: I do not own strawberry printed tights or the strawberry himself-or should that be herself, lol
A/N If you like the idea of gender benders than you should write some too…its fun!
Warnings: Same as always ~ AU, OOC-ness, genderbender, run-ons, flashbacks, etc etc
Ane-chan: Hopefully I bash your FMA chicks too badly
Gli~Grimmjow
Ichigo
Rukia
Orihime
Rena~Renji
Yuya~Byakuya
Kenpa~Kenpachi
Aizen
Tessa~Tesla
Noila~Nnoitra
Cross-over characters
Etc…
Spin Me A Holiday
7/?
When hanging Christmas decorations up on the rooftops one must always remember to stay calm…
"Noila-sama this is ridiculous get down from there before you hurt yourself!"
"Shut up! If this is the only way to get my Ichi-pet to notice me again then I'll do it-now quit your bitchin' and hand me that cord-
Tessa Lindocruz would follow her Noila-sama to the end of the earth and back but the dark haired woman's latest stunt was proving to be one of her worst decisions yet.
It made absolutely no sense to the sandy blonde why her on again/off again lover insisted on going after some stupid underage girl who hadn't even bothered to remember her birthday.
There was not much in life that got a young woman like Tessa as easily riled up as that Ichigo girl-what the hell kind of name was strawberry anyway-honestly what idiot names their daughter after a piece of fruit?
Okay so maybe Tessa was just a little bit jealous-bitter that her beloved Noila-sama had dumped her for the orangette in the first place but she could have learned to share but no…the stupid little wretch of a pop rock princess wanted the dark haired woman all to herself-until she had grown tiered of her that is.
Or at least this was the version that Tessa had been told.
With a resigned sigh the blonde passed the first of many cords up to her lover.
Even though she was too proud to admit it out loud she was a bit curious as to what the strawberry would think when she came across the scene.
()()
Aizen Sousuke could be a reasonable man.
He would listen before passing judgment on the two girls now seated before him-if they should ever decide to open their mouths that is-
With fingers tucked beneath his chin he prompted his prized star to speak first finding great amusement when the normally fiery and spirited girl barely met his gaze
"Ichigo I want you to understand that although I am not happy with your actions as of late, you aren't in any kind of trouble. I simply wish to know the reason for your and Keiko's absence the other day."
"I already told you to go and ask Kaname-san, he was there."
Aizen opened his mouth and closed it again opting not to comment on the way the young strawberry had addressed one of his subordinates with such familiarity.
He waited for a moment to pass before asking a different question. "Have you given my proposal some thought?"
Now the girl was glaring daggers at him, teeth gritted in a most unattractive kind of matter if she was anyone else but Kurosaki Ichigo that is-
"What proposal?"
The one where I take you over my knee and punish you for sitting there and acting as though you have done nothing wrong.
But of course Aizen wouldn't voice such thoughts out loud-not with Asano sitting in the room.
Deciding he would not poke or prod the orangette any more than absolutely necessary (at least not for the moment) he turned his attention to the brunette "I imagine you are quite shaken up after your experience, Keiko?"
The keyboard player squirmed in her seat and pulled her crimson colored shawl more tightly around her thin shoulders "I-I'll be alright now that my sis has promised to leave that man."
"How exactly did you manage to get yourself out of that mess in the first place? It is my understanding that security is nearly impossible to breech on the Isle."
Brown eyes darted to the orangette sitting next to her "It was Ichigo-Ichigo and her cousin and her girlfr-ouch!"
"Don't tell him something so personal!" the strawberry hissed just then.
Aizen raised a curious brow. 'Interesting.'
Keiko let out a nervous laugh "What I mean was uh um Ichigo and a group of bridesmaids rescued me but they're practically like lov-ouch!"
Aizen wasn't fooled for a minute.
"Ichigo it is not necessary for you to hit Keiko. She has been through more than enough abuse then a young girl should ever have to go through."
Keiko smiled gratefully "You're too kind Aizen-san."
Aizen laughed wishing that it were his lovely strawberry looking at him with such adoring eyes right now rather than her band mate.
()()
Ichigo felt like gagging.
She couldn't believe after everything Aizen had put her through that Keiko was being so-so damn friendly with the man.
The orangette wished to flee forever more and never look back but she made a promise to her band mates, to her friends, to Gli and of all the things she wished to become a liar was not one of them.
"If we can kindly get on with the reason you have asked us to come here it would be greatly appreciated, Aizen."
Fuck honorifics!
She had long since lost any respect she had for the man-even more so after learning that the last underage girl he had taken interest in had "mysteriously" wound up in the river when she refused to date him.
Ichigo was still a bit surprised that Kaname-san had trusted her with such information but an even larger part of her was flattered.
Not that she'd tell Gli-her dangerously possessive love had been ready to skin the man alive upon first introductions.
"Certainly. We wouldn't want to waste time any more time then we already have." She watched that familiar swarmy smirk make its way on to the bastards face and willed herself to remain rooted in her seat.
"Keiko why don't you step out for a bit-grab yourself a cup of coffee and a sandwich or two? There's no need for you to stick around for the next part."
"No Keiko I think you should stay-in fact I insist on it-after all I'll need a second opinion when it comes to choosing a title for my next album and you've always been a natural with that kind of thing."
Not exactly true but Ichigo was a bit desperate and had absolutely no desire to be with Aizen alone.
She was practically pleading with her friend to remain seated.
Sadly for the orangette the brunettes' stomach made up her mind for her.
With a quiet 'Please excuse me.' Keiko left and Ichigo cursed inwardly.
()()
"You are quite hostile today Kurosaki Ichigo, mind telling me why?"
The girl looked as though she might just wish to rip his eyes out-his smirk widened-
"I don't have to tell you a damn thing. You'll get your stupid album and anything else you demand of me but my personal life is just that personal!"
Ah there was the fire he knew and loved so well.
"You sit there and say that you have no desire to drag this meeting out any longer than absolutely necessary and yet you continue to be difficult (acting like a spoiled brat really) and refuse to recount the events that occurred just a mere 48 hours-maybe a little less ago."
"What do you care?" the girl was full on snarling now-not the most attractive of features especially since she looked overheated in the ridiculously extra large sweater (clearly borrowed and a last minute choice decision no doubt)
"You are Hogyoku Record's shining star-my star-it is only natural for me to wish to know your official whereabouts at all times."
The girl let out a groan whether because she had been forced to admit defeat or because the silly sweater really was becoming too much to bare-
"Fine damn it fine you want to know what happened Aizen then I'll tell you!"
If Ichigo had been anyone else Aizen's hand would have met her cheek just then-but he did not desire to damage his number one piece of merchandise. "That is all I ask."
He poured both himself and his guest tea and waited for her story to begin...
()()()
Sitting at a long table with blondes to the left of her-blondes to the right of her-blondes in front of her-and a blond in her lap Gli felt like she had finally discovered the meaning of family.
Before the group had sat down to a late lunch, Riza had explained that 'yes Goldihawkes main purpose was indeed meant for shooting but that it was also a commune of sorts'
"Of course we don't all sleep in the same bed or necessarily shower in the same bathroom but we like to play-as nature and the goddess Athena intended it." There was a certainly twinkle in the blondes' eye as she said this.
She motioned for Gli and her two bino companions to follow on the grand tour and continued to talk "The one playing and chatting animatedly with my son is as I'm sure you have already concluded is my significant other-Winry Rockbell. We've been together for four years now and our anniversary is at the end of this month."
Gli furrowed her brows. Winry was not a masculine name. Which meant her original assumption had been way off.
"She can fire a gun just as well as every other woman here at Goldihawkes-the 3rd best actually-but her number one love has always been and will always be working with metals and heavy machinery." Here the woman whispered as if divulging a secret "She has a special fondness for diamonds though-Winry is an artist one might say."
"Course what's that sayin' diamonds are a girls best friend."
Riza smirked at the golden-eyed bino "And here I thought your best friends were edible panties and nipple clamps, Shiori-chan."
Shiori's eyes danced "Xactly nipple clamps with tiny diamonds encrusted."
"I do not think it is wise to say such things when Bry-kun is so near, Shiori." Ula scolded even though a light smirk was playing on her lips.
Gli found herself warming up to this Hawk woman and the bino-duo more and more. "Metals eh? Can she-this Winry of yours-do you think she'll design something for me upon request?"
Just as Riza opened her mouth to reply a loud wail-sounding a lot like a siren or an alarm of some sort went off.
Less than a moment later a voice was heard over what sounded like a loud speaker or microphone-
It was rough, commanding, possibly overused or abused but clearly feminine
"LADIES DINNER IS ON THE TABLE! I EXPECT EACH AND EVERYONE ONE OF YOU TO BE IN YOUR ASSIGNED SEATS IN 5 MINUTES. DO NOT TEST MY PATIENCE I AM NOT IN THE BEST OF MOODS TODAY."
"Who the hell is that?" Gli questioned aloud
Riza rubbed the sides of her temples while Ula let out a sigh and Shiori offered an explanation "They call her the 'General' but her birth name is Olivier Armstrong-she never quite gave up on her natural roots," here a snicker.
What the hell did that mean? Gli wasn't sure she wanted to know.
()()
But once she did she quickly decided that the world would be a much more tolerable place if people like Olivier Armstrong lived in it.
"This is so exciting-we've never had a hybrid at our dinner table!"
Winry Rockbell-without the dirty bandana and oil and copper stained fingers, reminded Gli a little bit of Rukia's princess-bubbly, bright-eyed and had a rather bizarre taste in food-
The shortest blonde in the group (barring Bry-kun) was currently drowning her bacon cheddar burger in maple syrup and marshmallows. "I always say meat taste best when it has a little bit of sweetness added to it. She took a large bite out of her drenched burger and grinned at Gli.
Gli (with good reason) didn't have much of an appetite and hadn't bothered to touch her food.
Something that hadn't gone unnoticed by Armstrong-the tallest of blondes was seated at the head of the table in all her regal and dominant glory-
Stone blue eyes boring into Gli while battle-worn fingers rested on the edge of her rather impressive looking gun blade-which up until that moment Gli believed only existed in fantasies. (1)
The woman's message was clear: Eat your food or I'll force you to eat it.
Gli stabbed a piece of charred broccoli with her fork and begrudgingly brought it up to her mouth for a bite-
Even though she normally didn't like any one ordering her around there was something about Armstrongs personality-something about her aura that made the blue haired girl feel like
'If I ever got a chance to actually know my mother-I bet she would have been a lot like her.'
()()()
Ichigo grumbled something unintelligible under her breath and removed the sweater.
If the strawberry was trying to down play her beauty by putting on a long sleeve turtle neck, suspenders and scuffy gym shoes she had failed tremendously.
Aquamarine was the main color theme the girl went for today.
He was not expecting the orangette to wear such a color and more importantly wear it so well.
It was quite fetching-not this came as a major surprise-
He also noted just then that girl had lightened her hair-it was more of an apricot rather than tangerine color now-
"That is a good look for you-you should consider wearing something similar to that piece on your new album cover."
Of course he had also failed to mention that she would not be posing on said album cover alone but that he would be posing with her.
A nice little surprise for her to discover all in good time.
From the way Ichigo frowned Aizen concluded that this was not the kind of reaction she had been looking forward to.
More incoherent grumbles and then finally...
I didn't know how I was going to save Keiko-just knew that I had to.
It was my cousin's idea to enter the "ranch" dressed as geisha-both she and her girlfriend already have naturally pale faces so we agreed that it would be a good idea. Plus Ula had some experience in acting.
During her teen years she became a star on some popular day time drama.
The idea was to grab the guards' attention and distract them while one of us, my girlfriend Gli to be exact, would sneak around back and disable the cameras and alarm systems.
I guess her father was an ex convict and he taught her a few tricks.
(A shrug)
I willed myself to keep my temper under control when one of the guards put his filthy hands where they most definitely did not belong!
I willed myself to not scream or cause some sort of scene when another one pinned me to the wall and put his long, wriggly disgusting tongue down my throat-I figured if Ula and Shiori could sit through being mauled and molested by scum bags I could too.
Kaname-san stayed in the jet-said our covers would be blown if a man entered with us.
Gli communicated with him via an earpiece-as he instructed her on how to make her way around the "ranch" without being detected the three of us set off to find Keiko
()()
It was nothing spectacular really-just sheer luck, speed, agility and bino-power-my cousin's words not mine.
"And the hotel suite?"
Ichigo shrugged. "There wasn't enough room for us to sleep on the jet plane and besides when we found Keiko she wasn't even fully conscious."
"They drugged her?"
A snort. "Brilliant deduction, yes." She made a move to stand up-
Deep brown eyes bored into her lighter ones-commanding that she sit even though the owner's voice was soft and gentle.
"That is quite the story. Now then drink your tea."
()()()
Outside of her band mates and her boyfriend, Rena didn't have a lot of trusted companions-not that Szayel Apporo Grantz the 8th was someone she trusted exactly but-
"Are you almost finished I feel like my ass is beginning to go numb."
No the cherry pineapple was not currently posing for some type of provocative magazine-nor was she sitting in a tattoo parlor or at the gym exercising- No she was sitting on a rock-more of a stone really in the middle of a forest with a man who insisted on bleaching not only his hair but also his eye brows bright pink.
And why?
Because Szayel was searching for a reindeer-the very same reindeer his non-fraternal twin Ilfort claimed he had come across just a few night ago while he'd been out camping-
The Grantz' were Rena's long time next door neighbors or more accurately in the case of Szayel-long time stalker.
When the tattooed redhead had left home in order to pursue her dreams of becoming a pop rock princess-the pepto prince had followed her in his equally bright pink jeep-
Most of the time Rena ignored Szayel but every now and then she'd knock on his window (he basically lived in his jeep) and drive everywhere and nowhere with him-
He helped her forget about her stress-helped her forget the fact that her boyfriend might be cheating on her-
"Rena the idea of coming out here was to put you in a better mood. Now stop thinking about the wind chill and just focus on the task at hand. Ask yourself 'if I were a rare white reindeer where would I be?"
Rena snorted wondering what the hell was so special about a reindeer in the first place.
Szayel and Ilfort had owned a shoe store but she didn't understand what reindeers and shoes had to do with anything.
"Why?"
"Because if I can capture the reindeer then the collection will be complete and by the end of the week every woman and child will have their own pair of Lewds nestled safely under their sparkly Christmas trees.
"Not everyone celebrates Christmas." Rena felt the need to point out even though she was sure the pink-haired man already knew this.
"Fear not my dearest we have already thought of that."
Here the man posed in a rather flamboyant and exaggerated manner
"We drop a special pair of Lewds onto their doorstep- -compliments from the postal service. Ilfort was a paper boy when he was 13 so it shouldn't be too difficult."
Rena loved winter boots as much as the next girl but it sounded like Lewds were basically a knock off version of Uggs-the only difference being that Lewds would be made from the fine fur of a reindeer while Uggs were made from sheepskin.
()()
Clearly the sun must be going to her head because there was no other logical explanation for Gli's sudden change of mood.
Instead of letting out a relieved sigh as the non-traditional gun range faded further and further away from view she found herself counting down the days until she'd be able to return again-
And more importantly challenge that woman again
Gli was not one to admit defeat easily and even though it was only the second time in her life she had handled and shot bullets out of a gun she thought surely, surely she would have done better.
She'd always believed herself to be a natural at all things physical
Such was not the case when she went up against a group former military experts-
"Don't feel bad Gli the first time I picked up a gun I wound up puttin' a bullet right through my leather pump-came nowhere near the target," Shiori snickered at the memory as though it was some how amusing.
"I really don't think you should be comparing your apparent lack of skills against the child of nine lives, Shiori-because even though Gli didn't manage to hit all of her targets you saw the look that passed between Hawkeye and Armstrong- a little bit of practice and she'll be almost as good as them."
"Stop talking about me like I'm not fucking here!" Gli snarled right before she ripped off a piece of red licorice-a parting gift from one of the other blondes at Goldihawkes-Hawkeye's wife-Winry.
FUCK WHAT SHE THOUGHT BEFORE!
She couldn't wait to get back home to her strawberry.
TBC
Gunblades are weapons used in a game called Final Fantasy, specifically the one I was referring too is from Final Fantasy 8 but anyway yeah…
