When I returned to the room I was in earlier (I'm pretty sure it was the infirmary), I was speaking fluent Ylissian. It was great. I enjoyed myself. So, I wasn't that worried when I reentered the infirmary. Humming softly, I opened the door and greeted Ricken warmly with a smile. I noticed the other person in the room had been Chrom.
"Ricken, can I go back up to my chambers? I would like to get ready for tonight." I felt really stupid asking for permission, but, he was my healer, so, I didn't really have a choice.
He blinked startled. "You're actually making sense now…"
I rolled my eyes with a smile. "Yeah, I know. I was speaking in a different language. And I remembered something! It was song. So… not very much, but it's still progress, right?"
"You remembered something? That's great!" Ricken beamed excitedly and pulled me in for a quick hug. "And what language was it? Do you know?"
I nodded solemnly with a sigh. "Yeah. It was Plegian. Strange, huh? Most people in Plegia don't even speak it. They speak Ylissian because of troubling times in the war."
"Hm." Chrom hummed in thought. "That's odd."
"Yeah, I learned that the people actually snuck here because Ylisse would sell them food and necessary things to survive. But, of course, they had to learn to speak Ylissian. That's the weird thing, though. Can't you tell if someone's a Plegian by their physical appearance?"
"Sometimes." Ricken replied simply, turning back to his work of mixing medicines. Watching him work, I cocked my head a little to the right in question. My gaze flickered to Chrom for a moment and then back. "It really just depends on the genes in their blood. There isn't a specific way the Plegians look. Yes, most of them do have very dark hair, or extremely light hair -much like yours, might I add- but, it's very difficult to tell just by hair color or eye color."
"Oh." I thought through what he said. Without thinking, I let the words come out of my mouth, startling even me. "If I were to tell you I was Plegian, how would you react?"
I felt Chrom's shocked eyes land on me and Ricken's hands stiffened, his shoulders tensing visibly. "I… I don't know how I would react, in all honestly." He turned around, the vials in either hand. Sighing, Ricken shook his head. "But it doesn't matter."
"What matters is who you are, Robin." My body turned to face Chrom. "What lies behind you, well, it lies behind you. You can't change that. And what lies in front of you is the path you choose to make. What truly matters is the heart inside of you, Robin."
A small blush came to my cheeks and I looked at Ricken. He offered a grin. "Tharja's Plegian and look at her."
We all shuddered and then Ricken gave a sheepish laugh. "Okay, that was a very bad example."
"How about Levia, then?" I offered with a smile. "Or Olivia."
We laughed when Chrom made a comment about how those were better examples. I gave a short wave and left the room. Heading up to my chambers, I hummed softly. Levia was coming up to my room to help me get ready. Opening my door, I sighed quietly. I was really going to miss this place.
I sat on my bed and examined to room for a moment. It was amazing how quickly time flew by. Laying down, I raised my arm and traced invisible patterns on the ceiling. It was going to be sad to leave this place.
I sighed. I didn't expect to fall asleep as I watched the ceiling. But, to my surprise, I did.
"Robin! Come back!" a voice called out from behind me, but I kept running. Panic was echoing all throughout my body, I could feel it in the way my hands were shaking. I couldn't turn around. I couldn't go back. Not now. Not ever.
The cold voice echoed out across the field in which I was running in. I could never turn back. Then, the voice of a woman called out to me, begging me to come back. "Robin, Robin dearest, please, Mummy wants you to come home…"
I was suddenly aware of a coldness on my cheeks and recognized it as tears. A scream ripped out of my throat when I tripped and I quickly rushed back onto my feet. Sweat mixed with the tears and blood running down my face and a cry from my brother urged me to keep going. "Robin! RUN! Don't turn back, don't ever come back!"
I knew that it was for the best, but, I couldn't help feeling a little hurt. Shaking my head, I brushed the thought off and the edges of my vision began to blur. I couldn't breath… it hurt…
Forcing myself to keep running, I put the older boy in my mind. I had to run. For him. For him. For him! A cry ripped out of my throat as something pierced me in the side. I fell to my knees. No, no, no, no! "NO!" I screamed and a flash of light exploded around me as I collapsed forward. A pair of white boots were the last thing I saw before my vision turned to black.
I jolted up with a cry of alarm, clutching the sheets beneath my fingers so tight that my fingers turned a shade of white. Sweat dripped down my face and back as I desperately tried to catch my breath. What was that about? That… that dream… it seemed so familiar…
It was strangely vague though. I couldn't remember much of it. An odd sensation vibrated through my side and I cried out in pain. I shrugged off my cloak and slid my shirt up to reveal a large scar. How had I never noticed it before? That was odd… Something was definitely wrong here.
I traced my fingers along the edge of the scar. It was shaped like… I gasped loudly and yanked off the glove on my right hand. Panic jolted through my body as I saw the sign carved into my side. It was the same as the birthmark on my hand. A shudder ran through my spine and I let my shirt fall back down.
Walking over to my window, I choked back tears. What was wrong with me? Who was I really? From these memories, I was a monster. Biting back a sobbing, I closed my eyes. Why was I feeling this way? I had never been this insecure. I almost wished that I had never remembered anything.
Shaking I couldn't help the fact that I had these marks. It wasn't my fault. Right…?
I shook my head and brushed my warm forehead against the cool glass. Looking away, I walked over to the corner of my room and snagged several pieces of parchment and a stick of charcoal on the way. I sat down in the corner, bringing my knees in so I can press on them.
My hand glided, writing as if it had its own mind. I watched the strokes my hand made, a silent tear rolling down my cheek.
And this is what I wrote on the first letter:
"There was once a girl. She had lost her memory and woke up in a field soon after a young gentleman found her. She was kind to him and they shared a great bond that could never be replaced, no matter what anyone did.
They went on several adventures together with their friends and family. Love flowed through the air around the girl and everyone could tell by the way she smiled that she was in love with the young man. Her eyes lit up every time she saw him and her love was something no one could destroy. Not even herself.
She soon trained harder and harder to be the best she could. She was unbreakable. She was cheerful. She was a friend to many. She listened, she cared. She tried her best to get his attention and win his heart, but, right after she mustered up the courage to tell him how she felt, he broke her heart.
He told her that he was engaged to another woman and that the wedding was soon. Soon, she started to wear fake smiles and cried herself to sleep at night. And a night later, she fell ill. She thought it was a normal cold, so she got the treatment for a cold. But, it didn't work. It only delayed the symptoms.
The girl realized her sickness was worse than she thought. It was heartbreaking for her. So, she planned the wedding for the man she was in love with before talking to a friend. She asked her friend to escort her to another country to get proper treatment for this deathly illness. The friend agreed and said they would begin packing.
But, the afternoon before the night she left, the girl broke down in her chambers where she could do so freely without anyone bothering her.
The girl who seemed unbreakable, broke.
The girl who always laughed, cried.
The girl who never stopped trying, gave up.
She dropped her fake smile as a tear rolled down her cheek and whispered to herself, 'I can't do this anymore…'
That girl has a name. Her name is Robin."
I folded up the piece of paper and wrote on it in large cursive, Sumia. It had taken me a long time to realize that it really was too late for me. But, now I knew that it was and that my life would soon be over this broken heart. My broken heart would go to see my birth family. Up in the stars…
Starting a pile of finished letters, I sighed quietly and let myself cry. It hurt so bad and I was just ready for all this heartbreak to be over. I grabbed the next piece of parchment and began to write again.
"Dear Ricken,
I'm going to start by saying one thing. I love you. I love you so much. You're like a brother to me and I would never trade anything for our relationship. You always take care of me and smile when I can't. It makes me happy to be able to call you family.
And, you've really taught me some things. I figured I should tell you since the chances of me ever seeing you again are very slim.
The first thing you taught me is, how to keep myself together in the hardest times. You kept me together. You did. I treasure you, Ricken. I really do.
And another thing that you taught me is, if something causes you more pain than happiness, less laughter and more tears… Well, that I should remove that thing from my life. And there's no better time to do it than today. Thank you, honestly, I don't know what I would do without you.
And last, but not least, my favorite things that you taught me. That one of the most beautiful smiles has had more frowns and tears than anyone can count.
My final, and soul favorite thing you taught me is, that missing someone is the way your heart reminds you that you love them.
And damn, Ricken, am I going to miss you.
You are one of the best things that ever happened to me, and maybe, one day, we can meet again.
This is my final farewell,
Robin."
Tears were pouring freely down my face as I wrote the letters addressed to everyone, the last one I wrote was to Chrom. Oh, Chrom…
I set the letters on my desk and cleaned up my face before my door opened. Levia entered the room and I smiled softly. I hugged her gently before going to get changed into my dress.
After Levy finished up my hair, I left my chambers with her and went down into the ballroom where the party was begin held. I lifted my skirt gently and bit my lip. I was a little nervous, but I ignored it. On the way through the corridor, I ran into Ricken and he smiled.
"You look beautiful." He commented with sincerity. I blushed and rubbed the back of my back of my neck, gently brushing my hair over my shoulder on accident. My hair was half-up and half-down. I had an up-do that held some of my hair, but the rest of it cascaded down to my shoulder blades.
"Thank you…" I mumbled embarrassedly and took a good look at him. His robes were a very fancy and adult-like shade of dark green (a lovely color on him, might I add). It was strange to see him act and look so grownup. "You look so… grownup."
He gave me a curious look and grinned. "Was that a compliment?"
Shrugging, I grinned teasingly. "No. I'm too used to seeing that young kid from two years ago for it to be a compliment."
Ricken mocked offense and rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Robin." I winked in turn and he offered his arm out to me. "May I escort you to the ball?"
Looping my arms through his, I smiled and nodded. I leaned against him gently, trying to get some of my weight off of my feet. Ricken either didn't notice, or didn't care because he didn't comment. "Yes, now, lead the way."
As we entered the ballroom, I placed a kiss on his cheek and he turned to look at me, shock was plastered all across his face. The question was clear in his eyes, but he asked anyways. "What was that for?"
His tone wasn't rude, just startled. It was actually cute, to see him this shocked. Shrugging, I lead up through to the center of the ballroom and while doing so, I whisper in his ear. "You'll figure it out later."
I let my arm fall from his to spin and take in the ballroom. It was decorated with fabulous colors which were bright and glowing. The chandelier was a beautiful crystal one and it was an amazing sight to see. It glimmered at the light coming from its own candles and I gaped in awe.
The room was beautiful, I noted as I spun and whilst I was still spinning a jolt of agony ripped through my side. I collapsed to the ground, holding my scarred side and panting in pain. It was so painful that I couldn't even scream. Tears burned in my eyes and slid down my cheeks as I laid on the ground. My vision was blurred and I couldn't see anyone around me. There shouldn't have been many people though, I had gone in early to make sure that everything was done correctly.
Finally, a cry managed to rip its way out of my throat and strangled sobs wracked my body as it jerked about. My arms wrapped around my middle, clutching it tightly and I could hear loud shouts above me. What the hell was going on? I couldn't see a thing. Suddenly, a soft song played in my head. But, it wasn't in my voice. It was in a woman's voice. It was almost like… a memory.
"Little sparrow, with the broken wings…
Hold up your head and watch the sky
For I know, that you'll be fine…"
Tears poured out of my eyes faster as my cries turned into screams of agony. What was going on? Panic was raking through my mind as I felt my body shake and jerk. I could feel my heart pounding through my chest, but still that voice continued to sing.
"Little sparrow, little sparrow,
Oh, little sparrow,
You have nothing to fear
Nothing to fear, now that your mother is here…"
The song changed suddenly, but the voice was still the same. I felt someone cradling my head in their lap, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes. I could hear the sounds of the piano in the background of my screams.
"Little Robin…
With broken wings, and silent screams…
Oh little Robin, my little Robin…
Look to the sky, and see what you find…"
My screams stopped abruptly as I recognized the song in my head, but I couldn't place where I had heard it before. The tears continued to pour down my face in pain, but my shaking slowed to slight twitching as I heard several voices join in my mind.
"Oh, little Robin…
I will take care of you…
You have nothing to fear now…
I am here with you.
Oh, my little Robin,
Little Robin, dear,
Don't you know I love you?
And as long as I am watching from the stars above,
You will be safe.
You will always be safe…"
My body stops its shaking and shouts of relief come from around me. A cool cloth is placed on my forehead and I lean into the hand that placed it there, needing the touch.
"Little Robin… Little Robin…
I love you…
Oh, how, I love you…"
I bolt straight up, my eyes flying wide and my gaze going to the piano. A hand rested at the small of my back and held me upright. I wiped at my face, clearing my vision. At the piano, sat… Levia? I was surprised to see Olivia dancing along to the music as well. It was strange.
Looking over to see who was holding me, I unclipped my hair and saw Ricken holding me against his lap. "Are you alright? You just collapsed and started screaming."
I blinked and shook my head, still in shock. I looked down and nodded. "Wh… What happened? That was so odd… I don't… I don't remember anything, but hearing a song…"
"Levia suggested playing the piano might help calm your nerves." Ricken replied and I nodded slowly as he helped me up gently.
"That was so weird… but, if you'll excuse me, I need to freshen up…" I turned and began to walk away, suddenly steady on my feet. When I entered the hallway, I broke into a run. I raced up to my room and slammed the door shut. I stripped off my dress, leaving me in my small clothes.
I gasped in horror, my scar was turning a bright shade of purple. I didn't even know that skin could turn that color. I slipped off the skin colored glove on my right hand and gasped as its pounding color matched the shade on my side. What would happen if I… turning my hand, I pressed the mark against the scar on the side.
My vision blurred and I started to cough, bending over. But my hand stayed in the same place and after a few moments I caught my breath and straighten out. The mark on my side had turned to a sickly shade of blue. I felt face turn green and pulled on my dress and glove. I combed my hair down and wiped at my face, getting rid of the 'I was just crying' look.
Finally. Done. Maybe, just maybe, I could actually enjoy tonight and get out of here as fast as I can.
(al)
I walked back downstairs, my shawl wrapped around my shoulders. My legs were feeling a little unstable, but, I would be fine as soon as I ate something. Brushing some hair out of my face, I let my hand fall limply by my side and as I entered the ballroom again, I noticed how cool it was in there. A little shiver radiated off of my body and I slowly walked over to the piano bench.
This felt so… familiar… I sat down in front of the piano and brushed my fingers gently along the keys, but not actually playing. The keys were smooth and it was a nice feeling to have my fingers over them a closed my eyes and heard a soft voice in my head.
"See? It's E, A, B. just like this." When I opened my eyes, I saw gentle hands guiding mine to play the high notes. The hands were warm and gentle, but still very firm. It was oddly familiar.
I looked to my side to see a mint haired boy looking at me. A grin broke out on his face as I played the notes. "You've got it!"
Snapping my eyes shut, I took a deep breath. Why was he so familiar? It was strange and a jolt of panic ran through my body before I forced myself to relax. Slowly, I opened my eyes and he was gone, but the memory of the music was renewed in my mind.
My fingers brushed along the keys, playing softly and my foot balanced on the pedal, using it occasionally. I didn't even try to play, it was just natural for me. I didn't understand, and I didn't care to. I heard a slight shift and turned my head, but my fingers still glided along the keys.
"You're missing part of it." My friend's voice was soft and her light blue hair fell just below her ears as she leaned forward to play with me. "It's really a duet."
Our eyes met and smiles lit up both of our faces. They were genuine. I had considered asking Levia to escort me, but… I couldn't make her leave doing something she loved. It was hard enough for her to be around me when I didn't remember her at all. It was right this way. And I enjoyed that.
When we finished our song, a small group of our friends had gathered around the piano and I leaned over to whisper in Levy's ear. She let out a really girly squeal at my idea and took my hands, bouncing with excitement. Both sets of our hands went back to the piano and after playing the introduction, we stood up and kicked the bench away from us. Everyone cheered as the song totally changed pace and we all began to dance along, even Levy and I. But, of course, our hands were still on the piano, so we did fancy feet.
We had a large bit of fun before everyone arrived and it was such a merry time. Finally, we took a break from the piano to get a drink of water. I took Levy's hand in mine as we walked, giving it a gentle squeeze. She looked over at me and gave a big smile. "I'm glad your feeling better."
I noticed when she smiled, there was a twinge of pain in her eyes, like she was hiding something. My smile faded slowly and I took her hand with both of mine, holding it between. "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"
She nodded and looked away, letting her mask slip for a moment. "You just… look like someone I once was in love with."
"Oh…" my voice fell and I was at a loss for words. I wrapped my arms around her in a hug. "Come on. Let's just get something to drink."
I led her over to the table with glasses on top of its flat surface and grabbed one for me and one for her. A soft sigh came out of her lips when she took a sip of her water. I wasn't certain, but I think tonight she just wanted to forget, so I let her be.
Not even a moment later, there was a hand on my arm which caused me to jump and turn around. I'm glad I just had water, it's not like it spilled, but still. When I saw Ricken, a smile came to my face. I offered a sheepish greeting. I did kind of ditch him not even half an hour ago. That was sort rude, I do admit. "Hi…"
"Glad your feeling better." was the first thing he commented with a sharp smile playing across his features. His copper colored eyebrow was quirked slightly with the thing that could only be seen as a teasing manner. Looking up at him, my shoulders bobbed in a shrugging motion.
"Yeah, me too." I sighed contently as he wrapped his arm around lower back in a brotherly way. A playful tone crept into my voice as leant against his arm. "I still can't believe you're taller than me now."
He let his head fall back with an airy laugh as he guided me to a secluded corner of the ballroom. I noticed a table with a purple tablecloth draped across it and there was a centerpiece filled with blue and pink Ylissian roses and lilies. It was a beautiful display really. I glanced around and noticed our table was out of earshot from everyone else in the room because no one was sitting at the tables next to us.
"I can't believe you're still on that." Ricken pulled out my chair, shaking his head with a smile. I sat down in the chair and he pushed me in before walking over to where he was going to sit. "I have something for you by the way."
His eyes sparkled as he pulled something out from the pocket of his green dress mage robes. I leaned forward to catch a glimpse of it, letting my shawl fall off my shoulders and into my lap. When Ricken pulled his hand out, there was something silver in it. He took my hand and opened it, a blush coating his cheeks. He cleared his throat, looking away and embarrassment coated his face.
I had to stifle a giggle, but gasped when I looked down at it. It read the word Family inside an infinity symbol. "By Naga… Ricken…" I covered my mouth with my hand which was now shaking and blinked back tears. "C-Could you…?"
I didn't have to finish my question and he stood up to help me put it on. I knew exactly what the necklace was for. He wanted me to remember everyone, no matter what. He wasn't going to let me forget. I handed the necklace up to Ricken and he clipped the hook in the back to keep it on.
"There…" he said softly.
My hand instantly went over the necklace. "It's beautiful… thank you."
"I just wanted you to remember…" his voice was soft and I stood from my seat. Pushing myself onto my tiptoes, I kissed his cheek and pulled him down to hug me.
"You are so sweet, Ricken. I promise. I'll remember you. I'll remember everyone. And everything. No matter what." this embrace was tight and we just held each other close. It was going to be really hard for me to leave him. "And, I'll save you second to last dance. Alright?"
He nodded with a sad smile and let me spin off to say my secret farewells to everyone. It was nice to be able to do that. When I saw Nowi, I just smiled. She was perfect for Ricken and she was beautiful. Her dress was a nice shade of blue-green and draped across her body to the floor. There was a tear all the way down her leg, but she made it look like it was supposed to be there and then, the little bow she wore in her hair was pink. It didn't match the dress at all, but it matched her personality. I gave her a brief hello and told her to take care of Ricken for me.
Of course, she didn't understand, but I continued to pass my greetings to everyone. A few times, I had to actually keep myself from crying. It was a really hard experience for me.
Suddenly, the ballroom doors opened wide and we all knew who it was. It was Sumia and Chrom. They walked with their arms looped together and entered. It took a bit for everything to go back to how it was because everyone was in awe of how beautiful Sumia looked. Even me.
Sumia's light brown hair cascaded all the way down to the middle of her back and her eyes sparkled with happiness as a smile was planted firmly on her face. My eyes trailed over her figure. I could see why Chrom chose her. She was breath-taking. The light pink dress hugged her curvy figure and swirled down to the floor. The straps of the dress were made of a thin fuchsia see through material and went all the way down to her wrists. She really was lovely…
My gaze drifted over to Chrom and a soft sigh escaped my lips as I pulled a smile on my face. I studied him. He looked handsome… his eyes were smiling for him and his cheek bones looked sharper somehow… his attire was made up of a cleaned version of his armor. Except, more ceremonial. I let my eyes linger on him for a bit before smiling at him.
It was good to see him happy, at the very least.
I promised myself that no matter how much it broke my heart, I would make tonight happy for him.
My eyes shimmered with a mask of happiness as I gave out dances to the gentlemen. I had first danced with Gaius. He had seemed insistent on being the first one to dance with me. We'd had simple conversation while Gaius cracked jokes or made silly comments, causing me to giggle. I actually said goodbye to him in a discreet way, but… he found out anyways. In response, I told him I was going on a trip to pick up a few things for the upcoming wedding.
Next, I had danced with Frederick. We had an amazing time. He even told me a little secret of his because he needed to get it off of his chest. He was only human after all. I was actually surprised at what it was. I couldn't believe it. But, the knight had said he couldn't act on his feelings because it would be betraying someone he cared for. Chrom.
I had told my friend that I understood completely and that he was very special to me as well. At the end of the dance, I stopped and took his hands in mine, holding them between us. When my voice came out, it was soft, and the words I whispered were almost hypocritical. "There are things that we don't want to happen, Frederick… But, we have to accept them at some point. There are things we don't want to know, but we have to learn them one way or another. And… there are people we can't live without… but… we have to let go…"
I looked up at him, tears shining in my eyes and pulled him into a tight hug. "I'll miss you, Freddy…"
Before he can reply, I pulled away from his arms and walked off to the tables. Watching the crowd, I smiled when I noticed Ricken dancing with Nowi. He caught my gaze and I winked at him, after feverishly scrubbing my eyes.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and jumped slightly, turning around to see Chrom. I crossed my arms and forced a frown onto my face, much to his confusion. Deciding to elaborate, I opened my mouth to speak. "No. I won't dance with you. I'm saving your dance for last, silly prince."
He shook his head, a small grin lighting up his features like fireworks and I could only mimic his face. It was nice to see him cheerful. Chrom waved his hand in a dismissing motion. "Fine, then. I'll save the last dance for you."
I laughed and spun him around by his shoulders, pushing him away. "Go dance with all of the other girls. You owe them that." I gave him a hard push, watching him walk away with a soft chuckle.
Sighing softly, I sat down at a table and curiously scanned the room. My eyes caught on the window and I noticed that it was late into the evening. It was probably nine o'clock already. I hummed in thought and watched as another hour passed by, dancing with gentlemen (and not-so gentlemen) every time I was asked. Although, Chrom asked again and I told him no, firmly. But, I'm pretty certain he was doing it on purpose. I had to admit, it was a little funny.
Looking at my fingers, I counted who I had danced with so far. I had danced with Frederick, Gaius, Vaike, Virion, Stahl, Kellam (it had taken forever to find him), Donnel (he was fun to dance with), Libra, and Gregor. I had said my discreet goodbyes to all of them without them catching on, luckily, it was nice to have that much off of my chest. Now, I was going to get Lon'qu to dance with me. Then, talk to all of the young woman, dance with Ricken, and finally, dance with Chrom. And after that, I would leave.
I stood up, approaching Lon'qu and luckily, he didn't notice at first. When I reached him, I plastered a small smile on my face and took a deep breath. My fingers interlaced with each other, resting against my legs as I bounced on my heels. Biting my lip, I decided to just come out with it. "Um… Would… Would you like to dance with me?"
Surprisingly, he said yes with no arguments. It was strange and I heard several people point that out, but he must have seen something in my eyes because when we were in the middle of a silent waltz, he spoke harshly. "If you have something to say, then speak."
I blinked and let myself relax again. Oh, those few people who could see through my façade. Oh well. Taking a deep breath, I complied.
"I wanted to say goodbye." his expression didn't change much, but his eyes softened slightly at the corners. "And well, you were one of the last gentlemen to say it to. I know, that we don't know each other very well. But, I also wanted to say thank you.
"I… I know this may not mean much, but just having that person who was always calm in the midst of everything just helped me make some decisions of my own. Including the one I'm making tonight. Very few people know that I am leaving, but I know I can trust you not to tell.
"And before I say my final farewell," I leaned into whisper in his ear. "Go ahead and tell Olivia. I see how you look at her."
When I pulled away, his eyes had sharpened as well as gotten wider. He was shocked. I let my hands fall from his shoulders and gave him a playful wink before flouncing off to talk to all of the girls.
I managed to snag all of the girls off of the dance floor and we sat at a table in the corner, shooing away the gentlemen who tried to talk to us. Folding my hands in front of my chest, I pulled a bright smile onto my features and I leaned forward and took a deep breath. "Alright, now, what I'm about to tell you is flustering and I bet that more than one of you will turn a bright shade of pink."
A round of giggles spread across the table as the young women before me waited for my little speech to continue. I brushed off my skirt and my eyes drifted to Cordelia, who was sitting next to me. Taking her hand in mine, I looked her in the eyes when I spoke. "Cordelia, you've been a big help for me in little ways that just make my day. It's so much stress off of my shoulders and I appreciate how much you must work hard at everything you do. I have to say, you're a big relief for everyone."
Her cheeks turned red as she fumbled for words, but just settled for pulling me into a hug. We held each other for the slightest bit longer than the normal hug.
When we finally drew out of our embrace, I let my gaze slide over to the blonde cleric next to her. A soft sigh escaped my lips and my eyes slid down to a loving gaze. "Lissa… I… I really don't know what I ever would have done without you. You really have been special to me, you're like a younger sister. It's a treasure to have known you this long. And you've always been the person who knew when I wasn't alright, no matter what I said. You would always just pull me into your arms and say, 'I know you're not okay, so quit pretending.' So, thank you."
Her cheeks tinted, but I knew she couldn't bring herself to look down because she knew this was my goodbye. She knew that I was leaving, and her eyes were struggling to keep the tears out. I leaned across the table and took her hand. "Thank you so much, just for everything. When I've been ill, when I've had a bad case of heartbreak… just… thank you. I love you so much."
Lissa dashed around the table and pulled me into a hug, holding me tight. I pulled her closer and kiss her on her cheek. "I'm going to miss you, Robin…"
"I'll miss you too…" I whispered, closing my eyes.
After that, my farewells were none in comparison to Lissa's. I said farewell to Maribelle, Sully, Miriel, Panne, and Tharja. They weren't as spectacular as my first two and my last three, but, I will show you my last ones to the ladies. I will gladly say for the rest of my life, it was an honor to know them.
"Nowi… I have a favor to ask you." a mischievous glint shined in my eyes and the manakete leaned forward curiously.
"Yeah? What is it? I'll do anything for you, Robbie!" her voice was happy and cheerful, causing me to laugh.
"I want you to take care of Ricken for me." shock was clear in everyone's eyes, except for Lissa and Maribelle. I scanned the table and found it amusing as I took in everyone's expressions.
"What? Why? Are you going somewhere?" Nowi tipped her head and I sighed with a gentle smile.
"Sort of. I have a trip to go on to get more supplies for the wedding. I just need someone to keep an eye on him for me. He can be a little… well, childish, sometimes." the women around the table laughed and Nowi gave me a thumbs up.
"Sure thing! I can do it for you."
After that, I turned to face Olivia. "I… I would like to thank you Olivia. You have been a great help in my weakest moments. Seeing you dance, helps lift my spirits. And the voice incident a couple of days ago…" I moved a loose strand of hair from my face. "Thank you. And I promise, one day, you will have a very great family. And the man you marry, he will be very privileged to have you."
Olivia was a bright shade of red and fumbled for a response, but just settled for smiling, shyly. I smiled in return before looking at Sumia. Sumia was such a kind girl and I would like to remember her, but it brought me too much pain and I hadn't even left yet.
"Sumia, oh Sumia. Thank you. For everything. You won't understand what I mean yet, but tomorrow will come and all of you will soon understand why I'm saying what I'm saying." taking a deep breath, I stood and went around the table to Sumia. I took her hands in mine. "Chrom is a lucky man to have you, and you are a lucky woman to have him. I pray that you will cherish your time together.
"I've never been the kind of person who cares about what other people think of me, and I want you to think about that tonight. When you go to bed, perhaps. But, I've always tried my best to follow my heart, you should do the same. It might be difficult, and believe me, it is. But, try your hardest and everything will turn out okay."
I pulled her into my arms and closed my eyes briefly. "Take care of him."
Exiting our embrace, I turned around and headed back to the dance floor. Tonight wouldn't be the best. It was going to be hard to say goodbye to Chrom.
I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around. Behind me was Ricken and he offered me his hand with a charming smile. "May I have this dance?"
A perfect smile came to my lips and I took his hand. "I would be honored."
As I was escorted to the center of the ballroom, I listened to the music playing. It was classic Ylissian music, yes, but I longed for more. I wanted to feel the music in my bones. I wanted to feel the beat of the music when I spun. I wanted to feel the music. I wanted to feel it like I had before.
Wait, what? Like I had before? What was that supposed to mean? I've never felt music since I can remember. Shaking myself out of my thoughts, I placed my hand on Ricken's shoulder and took his hand in my other one.
We began to dance pleasantly and there was a gentle silence that reminded me of a summer's breeze in the field. After a few moments, I let my eyes drift closed and soaked in the feel of the summer.
I could still feel the light wind brush across my cheeks and blow my hair back behind me. I could see as the blushing colors of the sunset scattered across the horizon. I could hear the shouts of joy coming from a young man behind me as I ran. I could taste the flavors of the summer evening. The left-over bread we had ate. The warm honey we had found. The darkest bits of chocolate we had stolen.
When I opened my eyes again, Ricken was giving me a gentle look and I could tell I had been echoing my thoughts aloud. A sheepish blush rose to my face and I opened my mouth to talk. "I, um, I wanted to say goodbye."
"Robin…" his eyes became sad instantly.
"Don't. Please. Just hear me out. I have to say goodbye because I'm leaving tonight and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't." I protested and he caved into my request. I sighed and leaned forward so I wouldn't have to speak as loud.
"'A memory last forever, never does it die…'" I quoted from a book I had read somewhere at some point this year, but I couldn't care to remember it's name. "And I know, it's sad. Oh boy, do I know. But, sometimes you have to say goodbye to start the rest of your life."
I bit my lip to hold back tears and laid my head on Ricken's shoulder so he couldn't see my face. "And frankly, since many days' journey may lie between us, we are never that far away because friendship doesn't count the length of the journey. Friendship is measured by the heart. And, it's really difficult for me to say this, but-"
I break off with a choking sound which is me holding back tears, so, I just close my eyes. "Thank you for being everything I say goodbye to. And, it's so hard for me… because…"
Finally, I let myself cry into his shoulder and my grip on him tightens. "Because… I know I'm never going to be able to say hello again. I know I'm going to die… and there's only one thing that scares me about it."
My shoulders shake gently and I feel Ricken's arms move to embrace me as we stop dancing. I don't even wait for his question before I choke out the answer. "Never seeing you again."
"Oh, by Naga… Robin…" I can hear it in his voice that he's about to cry as well and it destroys me. His lips gently brush my ear when he whispers. "Family is forever. Never does it part. Forever. I guess I'm stuck with you forever, Rob."
He tried to lighten the mood and pulled me away gently. I opened my eyes to see his hand was on his heart. "I'm stuck with you, here. Whether you like it or not, you're stuck with me too."
I laughed and wiped the tears from my eyes. Throwing my arms around him, I murmur a soft thank you to him.
Thank you, Naga. Thank you for giving me Ricken.
I felt a gentle tap on my shoulder as I was let go of by Ricken and turned to see Chrom with a charming smile on his face. Offering his hand, his eyes sparkled. "I believe I was promised the last dance, Lady Robin."
Letting a soft laugh out, I took his hand and gave one last look to Ricken who returned my sad glance. I was pulled close to Chrom as we slow danced together. Taking a deep breath, I studied his face as I was spun. How to bring up the topic…
Chrom's fingers brushed my waist, sending sparks up my spine and where our hands met, it was bliss. I let my eyes drift closed as a memory surfaced in my mind. I remembered when I was teaching Chrom to dance. It was enjoyable. Very fun.
"One, two, three. There you go! You got it. Now, try and spin me." I had instructed cheerfully with a laugh and Chrom and I were both trampling over each other's feet. We were having a great time.
I pursed my lips together when he failed at spinning me and shook my head. "Just brush it off, you got- whoa!"
Chrom tripped and fell backwards, pulling me on top of him. I laughed airily and so did he. The prince's hands jabbed at my sides, suddenly and tickled me restlessly. I laughed as we were flipped and I tried to get him to stop, gasping for air.
"Mercy!" I cried out with a laugh and he finally relented.
"Haha, looks like I win." he commented, resting his elbows on either side of my head.
"Oh? Win what?" I leaned up towards him and he leaned down slowly. The moment was becoming intimate very quickly. It was a beautiful thing, really.
He shrugged and before we knew it, our lips had touched in a gentle kiss. I had-
"Um, Robin?" Chrom's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I opened my eyes to look up at him.
"Oh, whoops. Sorry." I realized I had been off in a daydream. "I um… need to talk to you."
"Right." his playful look instantly went serious. "I'm listening."
"I'm going to start confusingly, so…" I trailed off and shook my head. "Okay, well… Life said to Death, 'Death, why do people hate you and love me?' And Death responded with, 'Because, Life, you are a beautiful lie and I am a painful truth.'
"And really, it's true. Life is a beautiful lie, but death is the truth no one wants to hear. And when you hear it, you instantly think it's all over. But, it's not. Even when you know you're dying, it's not over. It's not over unless you give up." I took a deep breath. "But, I had given up at one point because giving up was easier then fighting a fight that I would never win."
Sighing, I shook my head. "I honestly never thought I'd be a person to give up. I've always been a strong girl who kept everything together and could have tears streaming down her face, but always managed to say, 'I'm fine.' I've just always been that person. No matter what happened those were some of the words I said. Just like four other words I can think of."
I'm happy for you.
"Meeting you really was fate, and becoming your friend was a choice I was willing to make." But, falling in love with you was beyond my control… "And I'm grateful I did. I really am glad to have met you, Chrom."
"This sounds like…" I put my finger to his mouth and shook my head.
"Don't. Let me finish." I forced a smile onto my face, fighting back tears. Somehow, I managed to keep a straight face.
"If I could give you one thing in life," I let my hand fall back down on to his shoulder. "I would give you the ability to see through my eyes. Then, you would finally realize just how special you are to me.
"Honestly, the thing I wouldn't do would be to say goodbye and walk away. I can't do that to you guys." But, that's what I'm doing right now. I couldn't believe I was able to lie to his face like that. "It would be too hard for me too. I don't know how I would live."
I let my smile slide off of my face slowly. "It's hard to say goodbye when you still love that person. It's even harder when you realize that there's no tomorrow for love if you stay.
"I… I guess what I'm saying is that it's easier to push someone you love away then say goodbye for the very last time. But, somehow, I know that I can make it." I caught my slip after I said it and bit my lip harshly, drawing blood. Shit. "Right now, I'm just kind of like, 'how do you say goodbye to someone you live without?'"
I get a confused look from Chrom. He clearly doesn't get where I'm going with this. Good. "I… I'm going to retire momentarily. But, I'll leave you with this."
I leant in and whispered into his ear. "Ti as'ta li amo."*
Pulling away, I turned around and gave a wave without looking back. "Goodnight… Chrom."
I pulled off the dress I was wearing and stuffed it into one of my traveling bags. I changed into a loose tunic and a pair of trousers. It was comfortable for riding. I had purposely left my tactician's cloak in my bag. I didn't want to wear it right now. It was too painful.
Saddling my horse, I tugged myself onto her and stroked her mane. My face rested against her until I straightened out. "Daylight… Take me to Plegia."
Marth was next to me on her own horse and it was silent as we rode under the starry sky. I stared up at the stars and tried not to look back as I was leaving my home. When I did look back, I started to cry.
I had promised myself I wouldn't cry, but that was a promise I couldn't keep.
a/n: WOW. THIS WAS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY YYYYYYY overdue. I'm glad I finally got it up.
30 FRIPPIN' PAGES. THAT'S HOW LONG THIS WAS.
* = you figure out what this means later.
So, this is one of the last chapters. I hope you enjoyed it. Only one or two more left~!
